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Hey /adv/,
I'll be done with university in couple of months and I need some advice and ideas about what to do next and particularly about how to get money.
I need to get some kind of income ideally within a few months of me leaving and I'll need to find a place to rent (which will take a huge chunk of my money) because I can't go back home. My degree is a BA and wont be too useful because I've left it way too late to apply for graduate schemes or internships (probably) and I have never had a formal job in my life which wont look good on my CV.
I'd very much prefer to leave this country (the UK) and move to somewhere in mainland Europe for a year or so which, as a result of the fact that I only speak English, obviously makes things more difficult. In the medium term, all I want is to have a small apartment to be comfy in and a fast internet connection to shitpost comfortably with.
Halp.
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>>18143555
>I can't go back home
Why?
Moving countries is expensive. Dont be stupid, use your parents and get job first. Also some of my friends from uni shared a flat together while working to keep the rent low after they finished uni.
>uk
Britain is currently kinda sinking ship with many refugees, weak currency and very UNSTABLE immigrant politics. You are better off staying where you are.
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>>18143576
>Why?
House is full and moving back home would cause too many arguments. My mother is ill anyway and I really can't put more strain on her. They're happy to help me out financially to begin with but I do need to start becoming independent of them.
>Britain is currently kinda sinking ship with many refugees, weak currency and very UNSTABLE immigrant politics
That's partly why I want to leave. I also just find it generally pretty depressing here and would like to spend a year or so almost anywhere else. Ultimately, I'll have to do whatever ends up being most feasible but I'd like to keep my preferences in mind if I can.
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>>18143576
Also, on the subject of price: will moving to somewhere in mainland Europe be that much more expensive? If I get a furnished apartment then all I'll need is a suitcase filled with basic stuff and a plane ticket, right? Employment will be the main deciding factor and I have no idea at all what opportunities are out there.
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How do I stop being a shitty student? I have an essay due in 9 hours that I haven't started (thankfully only 4 pages, but the procrastination is a problem), a quiz around then as well, and still have to finish up a book. What's the secret to killing a bad procrastination habit?
I do try to lock myself in the library, but even then it's difficult for me to get things done.
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>>18143541
>Organisation
Study 5 or 6 days a week (Mon-Fri or Sun-Fri or whatever works for you).
Make sure you review your class on the same day you have it.
Decide to do a certain amount of work every day.
For example, if you have to write an essay in 4 weeks, decide you have to be done with your research in 10 days, done with the draft in 20 and have it reviewed and ready in 25.
If you have to study 150 pages for a test in 20 days, study 10 pages a day and then take 5 days to review.
Give yourself time to review. Remember you get days off. Remember that shit happens.
>Study well
[(25 minutes of studying + 5 minutes of break) x 3 + 30 minutes of break]
During the short breaks, go to the bathroom, eat and drink. During the 30 minutes break, go out for a walk.
>Allow yourself small distractions
>Rewards
Every day you stick to the schedule, get yourself something nice - a night out with your friends, a food you really love, spend some money on yourself, whatever.
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There are no secret. You have to force yourself to do what you need to do.
But it is easier said than done. What I do is I divide my work in tiny parts and try to complete them.
I also use Pomodoro Method:
1. set timer for 25 minute.
2. force myself to work for 25 minutes.
3. take 5 minutes break.
4. repeat.
now stop wasting time and start working on your essay.
Listen some brown-noise (search it on youtube) to concentrate.
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>>18143552
Good advice, I'll try this.
>>18143556
>brown noise
Thanks friendo
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FAFSA thread.
How much did you get out of the fafsa? Describe your financial situation at time of applying.
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>he thinks everyone in 4chan lives in murrica
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What is fafsa?
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I cant remeber exactly. It was somewhere between 1400 and 2000.
I went to a university for 2 years before quitting. I only really collected the checks.
Then i went to community college for a semester and collected some fafsa. Then i got placed on probation because i signed up for 3 classes that i forgot to drop out of. I had to write some please to the fafsa board and attend some class. I never did it. So that was the end of that.
College was great
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I know this is going to seem trivial compared to other peoples threads but I don't have any "healthy" people to ask because majority of the people I'm friends with also have an array of mental illnesses.
Yesterday I asked my boyfriend to play x game with me for a few hours because we've barely been spending time together apart from just hanging out and I really wanted us to actually do something and he goes "no I'm really focused on y game" and he knows how much I've been looking forward to play x game (even for a few hours with him) and he still said no. I blew up at him and said not to ask me to help him with certain things in y game because he can't even spend a few hours playing x game with me.
He hasn't said anything to me yesterday, I texted him trying to get sexy times but he read it and ignored it. What do I do? Do I wait for him to speak to me first? (I have BPD so I'm retarded when it comes to relationships.. I don't know what to do 99% of the time.)
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You're too emotionally unstable for a relationship.
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>>18143465
Botw is just that good.
Being someone's gf doesn't mean you have to be with him all the time, focus in your own hobbies/friends when you are not together.
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>>18143473
This. He doesn't have to drop what he's doing just because you want him to. Respect his wants and needs too.
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How can I make $1000 fairly quickly (within a few months) without selling my stuff? I'm a broke uni student and I need to pay off a few debts and get my car fixed and $1000 will get it all done.
Is there any way to earn money quickly, I would suck dick but I'm a short fat dork... and my girlfriend wouldn't be too pleased
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>>18143445
Get a job.
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>>18143445
Sell your girlfriend
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>>18143447
Lets say my job pays my bills and theres nothing left over after I pay rent/bills etc.
Anonymous
How do I get him to dump her? 2017-03-20 08:10:53 Post No.18143438
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How do I get him to dump her? 2017-03-20 08:10:53 Post No.18143438
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How do I get him to dump her?
Anonymous
2017-03-20 08:10:53
Post No. 18143438
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Basically I'm worried for my brother. He's dating a young girl and she's not a good person.
The girl was addicted to heroin in her teens. Now she's 20 yo, doesn't work, nor go to school. The parents are dumb as rocks and just throw money at her, take her on all these fancy trips, and treat her like a princess.
Everyday the mom gives her injections to mimic opioids meanwhile daughter still does drugs. She steals, she begs for money, and disappears.
Then she's nansty and has out burst. She'll also ignore my brother which is concerning. She'll ignore him for 2 days and then tell him she "fucking loves him". I think she uses him as an alibi with the parents.
She also never lets him see her phone...
My brother doesn't seem to get it and kisses this girl's ass even though she has done NOTHING for him and steals money from him. Her only redeeming quality is that she's stick skinny, 4'9', and has blonde hair/blue eyes.
How do I convince him to dump her? I'm afraid he's going to get Hep C, or mess up his career (law enforcement). I also don't like him being treated like shit.
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You can't. You're brother is a shallow idiot and is going to wind up diseased and broke, and honestly he deserves it.
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>>18143438
He's an idiot. Any attempt you make will just make him turn away from you and invest himself deeper into this dysfunctional relationship. All you can do is stick around long enough to tell him "I told you so" when this whole ticking time-bomb explodes in his face.
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Assuming he's an adult, you don't. Let him make mistakes; mistakes help you learn and grow.
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How do I become more functional and less violent when sleep-deprived?
Alternatively, how do you get a cat to shut the fuck up? He's been neutered and he has everything a cat could ever want but he just won't shut the fuck up and let me sleep.
I'm currently 50-50 on taking him back to the shelter and just strangling him myself.
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I've drowned two and strangled one for being such god fucking awful creatures (such as being nasty to my first cat I still have and who is nice, or doing what yours does plus more). If you go the strangle route, make sure to do it in the bathtub, they'll piss themselves/everywhere. Learned that the hard way. My husband still thinks our last is living out his days roaming a country farm catching mice and getting pet by some old bitch who loves cats.
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>>18143381
The point of a pet is to make your life more pleasant. If it doesn't, pass it on to someone or a shelter.
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I took him back to the shelter.
So how do you guys deal with the guilt and sadness you get from snapping and getting mad at loved ones belligerently. It always feels like a consent never ending cycle I can't control. How to cope?
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>>18143362
Get on lithium, pronto.
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>>18143379
The thing about meds is I'm really stubborn and don't like taking them. I know that most people with Bipolar have to be on it for life. I wish it wasn't true. Such a draining disorder
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Pretty sure anyone who cares about you and knows what bipolar disorder does to people will understand that you don't mean it. Just apologize and it should be fine.
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I spend way too much time on the internet. I want to get out more and expand my social circle, and try new things, but I inevitably give up doing it. I tried going to the gym to start exercising, I tried getting together with other people to try new things, I try to take up a new hobby but almost all of the time I say "fuck it" and stay at home and browse the internet for hours at a time. I know it's not healthy, but I keep going back to the same habits.
My problems pale in comparison to what everyone else is going through on here, but I don't want to be addicted to the computer anymore. How do I wean myself off of the internet and how do I commit to a thing?
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>>18143356
bump
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>>18143356
You have the right impulse and the right ideas about how to go about things. What you lack is discipline and stick-to-it-ness.
So force yourself. When you have schoolwork to study and don't want to, you just make yourself do it. The same is true of changing your lifestyle. When you try something new and it isn't immediately fun, keep doing it anyway just because you've decided you're going to.
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>>18143356
Treat your depression.
Anonymous
How to first kiss a girl? 2017-03-20 07:01:33 Post No.18143342
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How to first kiss a girl? 2017-03-20 07:01:33 Post No.18143342
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How to first kiss a girl?
Anonymous
2017-03-20 07:01:33
Post No. 18143342
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Hey, I'm new to dating and what not but I'm seriously at a loss when I can escalate and kiss a girl? Is it just something in your gut that you act on or what?
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that's really sweet anon
wat u seek is here
https://www.slideshare.net/mobile/vhie130501/16768511-vindicarloescalationladder
have not used myself but it seems pretty legit
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>>18143342
In one of Woody Allen's movies, back when they were good, he's walking down the street with a date and he stops and says something like "You know, when this date is over I'm going to want to give you a good night kiss, and it's going to get all awkward and embarrassing. So let's get it out of the way now."
And then he gives her a quick peck.
I've actually tried it, and it works. The girls thought it was cute, and later we could go into the "real" kiss smoothly
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>>18143368
Honestly I don't doubt that works but whoever wrote it is on some next level autism.
>start the ramp very quickly once you have complete isolation in a sex location.
>stomach to stomach contact is the natural progression to kissing her neck
>"my hand is being crushed"
>group ladder theory
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Has anyone been in an age gap relationship?
I'm 29 and I've been seeing a 17 year old (age of consent is 16 here), it has gotten sexual but I know her mother disapproves and we've been keeping it a secret which I feel guilty about.
I don't want to keep disrespecting her mother so I don't plan on seeing her again unless her mother says it's okay. I really care about her, and I do feel like we have a deep and meaningful connection, and absolutely do want to pursue a serious relationship with her.
I know that if her mother got to know me that she would like me and know that the last thing I want to do is ruin her life, I know her best years are ahead of her and absolutely do not want to take that away from her.
How should I approach the situation? Do I ask to meet her mother to discuss her concerns? Should I just stop seeing her until she hits 18 and finishes school? Any parents here had to deal with a situation like this?
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>>18143332
>I'm 29 and I've been seeing a 17 year old
Didn't even read past this, you're going to get bored of her and/or her immaturity will wear away at you within a few months.
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you know I always hated it when girls my age went for older guys, but when you get older, you shit on all the girls your age and go for younger girls
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>>18143335
That's a fair comment but I still would rather see how things go before just dismissing it outright before even giving it a chance
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i'm freshly pregnant and due to all the hormonal changes, the fatigue and nausea, my libido might have gone down a bit.
i think that's perfectly normal (after all, the biological drive to even have sex is completely futile now...) and understandable. my husband on the other side is panicking and thinks we now won't have any sex anymore at all (we had sex 3 times this weekend, he ate me out once and i gave him a bj and a hj... problem is, our usual count is about 5x a weekend).
i tried to explain it to him but he is clearly not convinced. he asked me stuff like if i'm not enjoying sex with him or if i'm not attracted to him anymore. which obviously isn't the case.
wtf do i do? he has started to act distant and is basically sulking now. i think he's hugely overreacting and i honestly don't have the nerves to reasure him 24/7.
it's not like i even turned him down. i might just not have initiated that much. but i was still enthusiastic the times we had sex.
i told him to be a bit forgiving with me since being pregnant is pretty exhausting in itself. but somehow he doesn't believe me that this is the only reason.
help?
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>>18143228
He sounds like a giant baby.
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Your husband is an unempathetic manchild who throws a tantrum if he doesn't get his own way. I feel bad for you because you married this guy.
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>>18143232
probably. but how do i deal with that? is he testing my ability to deal with babies?
Anonymous
Why does society hate me so much? for doing things my way? 2017-03-20 06:05:53 Post No.18143196
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Why does society hate me so much? for doing things my way? 2017-03-20 06:05:53 Post No.18143196
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Why does society hate me so much? for doing things my way?
Anonymous
2017-03-20 06:05:53
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I don't get it. My whole life I was accused of being "selfish", "Psycho", "insane", "weirdo", "Rude", "arrogant", "asshole". List goes on man. My own relatives hate me and spread rumors about me (my closest cousins).
Same thing for work place. Thing is I am none of those terms. I genuinely try my best to do the right thing, take care of everyone and half the shit I do is for the betterment of others. But I don't like being controlled or doing something unless I try / test it first. I have my own way of doing alot of things which are vastly different from others - but they work, often times better than most people.
Why do people care so much about how I live my life? how I do things?. What's so wrong with me wanting my own space?. It's like alot of people actively WANT to bully me. Even my sister would call randomly when she is stressed, and start throwing advice at me.
Just trying to understand this psychology. I mostly get this from women though, not men (except my pussywhipped of a father).
I am actively starting to hate people. Why the obsession to control people you don't even love?
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You generally want do things your own way only in private. Outside, you do things THEIR way unless you want to be ostracized.
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You sound like you have Asperger's or something. Seriously dude, like it or not, when you're not on your own you do things the way everyone else does them. You're free to do stuff your own way when you're on your own, but there're these little things called social conventions that most people know instinctively.
You probably are all of those things by everyone elses' standards-because you don't conform to 'the rules'. It's rude to be mean to you about it, but you have to understand that everyone else is not seeing what you're seeing or understanding what you're understanding.
Even the way you write this sounds rude and arrogant. You need to look at yourself, as well as realising that lots of people are just plain old intolerant of difference.
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>>18143196
You cant just help people like that man, take this from someone awkward whos gained social skills and wants to help people. The issue is people are ignorant and learn by example. Dont shame people for not knowing your way or the best way, try to understand their position and think about how you two could come to an agreement or even a better understanding together. Dont think you can't learn from others, and it can be taken as offensive if you're quick to refute, dismiss, or immediately question their advice.
Anonymous
How much of dating is up to fate? 2017-03-20 05:15:58 Post No.18143057
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How much of dating is up to fate? 2017-03-20 05:15:58 Post No.18143057
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How much of dating is up to fate?
Anonymous
2017-03-20 05:15:58
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I feel like dating and just relationships in general are completely up to RNGesus or fate.
A part of me thinks that its not even worth it to put too much effort into dating. I mean, It seems like asking women out has nothing to do with skill or how you really do it.. but it all boils down to if she says yes or not which you have no control over. It sucks.
I have asked out maybe 20 women in my life. I am 25 now. I have been on dates but never had a girlfriend so you put the pieces together.
YET, I know dudes who are borderline retarded who have had girlfriends many times. What? This leads me to believe that dating is honestly just a numbers game and using whatever method asks out the most women until one says yes is probably your best weapon against shitty fate and RNG. Is this truly all dating is? Just fishing with dynamite until someone says yes?
It can't be... I just don't know what fate wants from me. I just want to love like everyone else or at least experience it. Don't even care if my heart gets cut to pieces at this point.
What is the truth /adv/? Is dating just some complete RNG shit fest that involves dudes asking out tons and tons of women until eventually one says yes? Effort has no weight here it would seem.
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>>18143057
The fuck is RNG? Of course it's a numbers game and of course effort needs to be there. You can't expect to run a mile in 6:00 minutes while walking, you've got to put in effort, just like asking people out.
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>>18143057
Maybe you come on too strong? Do you talk to them and text for a bit before asking to go out? Or just jump right into? You don't want to come off as desperate or they will feel that. Acting like you don't give a fuck either way usually works. People want what they can't have. Seem super busy and into your life so they will want to be a part of that.
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>>18143191
This seems so alien to me. I have tried both ways. Seeming super busy just makes the woman forget about you and obviously throwing yourself at them makes them feel like you are a pussy.
I don't know what works. I feel like women have so many options that chasing dudes isn't even necessary.
Anonymous
marriage VS affair helpers 2017-03-20 05:12:54 Post No.18143047
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marriage VS affair helpers 2017-03-20 05:12:54 Post No.18143047
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marriage VS affair helpers
Anonymous
2017-03-20 05:12:54
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My relationship with my husband has gone to shit. Part of it in the past has been my fault, but since we had our second child a year ago I've put more effort into keeping the spark there as ever as I could without being a doormat.
The backstory: When I was pregnant with our first 3-4 yrs ago, he'd made some friends with older guys (2 bros) that went to his HS who were raging alcoholics (like he used to be). While I was preggo they'd go out and drink after work EVERY day. I knew something was off, we were critical of each other and decided to put that kid up for adoption. He moves in with these guys immediately and for 5 months I let him use me for sex without committing, I was insecure after losing/giving my kid away. I get suicidal, and also throw parties to cope. Turns out when I was preggo he'd already been looking around, saving girls' #s in these guy's phones so I wouldn't find out even if I did snoop. When I found this out (5 months later by snooping when he spent the night - a girl sent me a screenshot of him sexting her from this guy's phone and said they'd met the time I was 8 months preggo) I called him out, changed the locks and started seeing someone else who wanted a real relationship. He did the 180 real quick, apologized and I let him back in bcuz idk, divorce is long expensive and more painful. Year later, cue another baby on the way. I leave a lot bcuz he still treats me like shit but starts working on himself as a person, drinks less etc. With spy app on his phone I find out he's still bashing me to his friends and now family, especially those brothers. I demand they leave OUR life or I and the baby will. He says okay and they disappear (from my radar). Baby here March '16 and he goes insane, raging/criticizing/antagonizing me again, I leave for a couple weeks with our infant to keep us safe, and he again apologizes but first parties with the bros. Again demand they be gone or we're getting dvrce freal (now I can afford and handle one emotionally)
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0/10 too obvious of a troll
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Bait thread, don't respond. Next post is guaranteed to be op saying "but not bait :("
Just because they say not bait doesn't mean it isn't bait
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>>18143064
Why do people make threads like these?