Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1652. page

>>18311222
>digits

You're in a good mood and you're confident. That's what's enabling it. Have you tried doing something that will get you excited / boost your energy levels? Or are you just sitting on your butt?

>>18311290
im constantly on my butt. The only think I get enjoyment from is music

>>18311296
Then do as I said. Sitting on your ass and listening to music gets you in a good chill mood, but you're not going to feel like flirting or making stupid jokes. You need to get yourself excited and energised so that you stop thinking too much about what you say. However be careful, if you overdo it, you can become creepy/a dick.

>>18311213
*technicallg I don't belong here but if anyone could redirect me to somewhere else I could talk about it

What exactly do you want to talk about?

>>18311221
How to move on from this mistake
Although it technically wasn't that bad because I no longer have problems about that particular fetish

>i don’t know, how important would it be to you for your partner to be in martial arts as well?

I imagine most people wouldn't put this weirdly high of an emphasis on it. I guess it makes sense to want to date someone of a similar fitness level though. Why would you pay for him for a year if he went 3 times? You sound a little autisticly high and mighty with your "you need to be able to stop purse snatchers with your aikido" shit, to be honest, but yeah. I mean people value what they value, if he doesn't value what you do, I guess fuck it?

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>>18311234
i don't mean to be high and mighty. i just feel like he has zero idea about fitness and martial arts would help with that, and i think that taking your own personal safety in your own hands is extremely important, plus its sort of a fetish of mine to be in a realtionship with someone whos in martial arts, its important for me to feel attracted to him, and it sucks knowing that i could kick his ass and he's so much weaker and more out of shape then i am, he's like pretty much obese.

>>18311243
Not being attracted to someone because they're out of shape is totally fair. I don't think I could date a fat person desu. Also yeah fetishes matter, even if they sound nonsensical. Have you tried telling him you're less attracted to him than he could be or whatever? Are you so disappointed with him you want to end the relationship?

The taking life into your own hands aspect still sounds silly to me, but hey I'm just some skinny upper middle class university student who's never been in a fight.

because its trivial and requires no advice

its like asking why isnt there a thread on how to drink water

>>18311175
Maybe girls don't care as much?

>>18311179
Kek. This.

>>18311174
I think that feeling is more an emotional response then a physical response. So there should be no physical damage.
You'll be fine mate.

>>18311178
sounds like anxiety if anything

>>18311174
"heartache" is 90% in your head (which chooses to feel something in your chest because it thinks it should) and 10% in your stomach, which is probably legitimately upset because your psychological pain is churning up some excess stomach acid..

Well, now things seemed good again, yesterday we planned the trip for next week. Soon after she left last time I found that she has started playing certain online game which we played at my place. She copied my CD keys while she was with me and created new online profile. I'm 99% sure it's her and I wished we could play and talk about it, because we like it both. I wrote her many times about since then. She pretends she doesn't hear it. She lied few times, telling me that she doesn't play it but it's obvious it's her. Now in order to play together and talk about it, she'd have to admit that she lied. And I became pissed again, because it's pointless tabu. And she's telling me that I'm making bad bood again. It's second day, I've tried to talk to her in many ways, that this is pointless and she should just admit it so we can move on but I get only few replies, pointing out that I'm making bad mood and it'd be same on the trip. She's insecure little bitch, but I hopelessly love her.

Now tell me, what would be the right thing to do? Should I just pretend I don't know it and treat her nicely? I love her, but this seems like crazy ass shit to me. What would be the gentleman way to deal with this situation? This isn't the first thing of the kind, I'm getting tired of this tabu shit.

Oh, btw, that she lied to my face about staying with me the last time, that's also tabu. She's unable to admit fault.

>>18311156
There are two things going on here.

1. Like a lot of people, she has trouble with unpleasant confrontation, so she is nice to you in person and hides behind mail to tell you the truth. You can blame her for being a coward if you wish, but believe what's in the writing.

2. Go back over your post and count the number of times you admit to "pushing too much" and "wrote her many times" and the like. You come perilously close, or perhaps even cross the line, to harassment and stalking.

She doesn't want what you want. Either accept things on her level or break with her entirely. You will NOT get what you want, and pushing harder will only make things worse.

>>18311154
I'm a mech eng major taking computer science classes right now, do you have any go to websites/books/videos for learning java?
We're doing gui, hashsets, and arraylists and it's getting hard to follow

>>18311171
I would learn GO Lang
Its Googles "new" programming language
Java has like 140-200 pages and this new GO Lang has maybe 40
Learn Java and Go Lang and I think you will be ok

>>18311171
As for websites
I like https://www.blackhatworld.com
keeps me on my toes a bit

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>>18311124
So...you raped him? Yeah, no, just leave him alone. You're no good for him. Please respect his wishes and stop hounding him. If you were to go after him despite his wishes it'd be no better than coercion. That's fucked up

>>18311124
He doesn't want to fuck *you*, he just wants to fuck *something* 'cause of atavistic male programming. You just so happened to be there.

Leave him be you crazy bint.

Oh wow.

So if you like cake/cocaine/whiskey/gambling and you are trying to give it up because you know that shit is bad for you, and somebody keeps offering you it and you initially have the willpower to resist, except they keep pestering you and offering you it and your resolve gets weaker and weaker and eventually you think, hell, why not just this one last time and you give in then afterwards you are disgusted with yourself and swear NEVER AGAIN. That is kind of you and him with sex. Except it isn't even you, it is sex.

You know that you can convince a guy to fuck you, but you can't convince him to like you right? Some people, men especially are able to disconnect the two, especially in that moment when the libido is running things, it is only afterwards that the shame and the regret and the realisation that you need to be a stronger person for yourself and others that your cognition returns.

Basically you threw yourself at him until he could no longer turn down sex. But he likely hates you, just in that moment couldn't turn down sex. Nothing to do with you even. Sex.

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>>18311073
My bling guess is you were playing 8+ hours straight ignoring sleep / hunger / thirst / eye strain.

Fat?
Sport?

>>18311091
I wasn't sleep deprived or anything. And I did stop to eat and drink. And I slept since then 8 hours...hence my worry.
>Fat?
Yes I'm overweight. 113kg 180cm tall.
>Sport?
I'm a couch potato

>>18311073

you might have developed vertigo. I've had it for a few months and kept falling down and let me tell you it was embarrassing m8. I hope it passes for you. Try keeping hydrated and take breaks from being glued to the screens. GL anon

>>18311052
>8 years
>7 years walk down a one way street
>child
>lost hope
I like that part where you had a baby with person who doesnt care about you.

What is she doing that you dont like?

>painted as bad guy
I think your skills dealing with ladies sucks. Are you trying to use logic in arguments dont you?

Tell some examples on what you dont like and how were you trying to fix it?

>>18311113

Well, its not that she doesn't care about me. She just shows it the only way she can, in her own way.

Like my picture describes, she has a very hard time imagining how someone else appreciate a situation. Judging solely from her own personal perspective in many instances.

Take this example for instance. I know for a fact that she enjoys a well cleaned home, good food at the ready when she comes home. I mean, who doesn't, right? So by knowing this will make her happy, I do this from time to time, to show her I appreciate her on her level of communication.

I on the other hand am more of a verbal and contact person when it comes to express my gratitude. I like hugging and snuggling, I like being reminded with kind words and so forth. This is "love" for me. And really is a foundation to a good relationship. And how does she show me how she loves me? She cleans the house from time to time, and sets the dinner ready when I get home from work....

I get it, its her way of showing "love", but its not what I want. Its not what I need from a relationship. For all I care, I could live in a rats nest, as long as I did it with a person who I felt truly appreciate me and shows it on a deeper level than "hey, dinners ready!".


>Tell some examples on what you don't like and how were you trying to fix it?

Well... as you say, I try to use logic on a person who in her own mind is rather perfect. When I apply this logic, she flips the coin and gives the "oh yea?!?!" attitude, and starts to bring totally irrelevant subjects in this argument up.
These days I don't even care anymore. If I really burn for a subject, sure, Ill put on my best performance and totally outwits her (not to hard to be honest), but in the end its like arguing against a well trained internet troll, directly from /b/.... And you just can't win against a retard like that.

>>18311139
Dude, you simply suck at comunication. That is all.

You are frustrated, but when you tell it to your wife (having kid with her is like married, doesnt matter anymore), but you tell it so badly she takes all critique from you as attack on her own personality. So how can you fix it?

Start by realizing that girls are emotions first, logic is like the last thing which will work. If all what bothers you is her lack of showing love to you, you have to simply teach her.

Try it before sleep in bedroom. Dont be like
>honey, i wanna talk with you
that just will make her nervous. Hug her on bed, tell her that you still love her and cant imagine living without her. Then ask her if she wants to go on date with you (dinner / zoo / you know what she likes). And if she will try to ask you what this is about, just tell her you realized that you were bad husband lately. Listen to her without objections, girls need to talk nonsence often just to let the steam out.

Then when she will be relaxed in your arms, tell her that you also need from her to hear words of affection. Make her say she loves you too. Then give her some examples how would you appreciate her showing her love by randomly hugging you and saying you some sweet words from time to time.

Remember, you have to make it sound like YOU are sorry for demandoling that, but that you cant help yourself. That you are simple man who needs daily dose of love and cant function properly without it.

Never ever try to reason with your wife on logical level. That just doesnt work. It is better to behave like the one who is wrong all the time in happy marriage than to win argument and see your own kid only at weekends and pay alimony.

Also how is your sex life? Dead?
:-)

>>18311029
you cant do anything, if she doesn't drink, then she doesn't drink

>>18311037
Sounds about right. I would feel wrong if I made her drink...

I just don't know what to do... I'm thinking the only option is to stop drinking myself. Which is fine but I feel like some sort of connections would not be possible. We would live our entire life without experiencing that.

I'm retarded, aren't I?

Fuck I hate this.

Yep, the problem is you not her. You most likely have a drinking problem and if you can't connect with people who don't drink you have the issue not her. Why don't you stop drinking and connect with her on that level? Or go find another alcoholic to commiserate with.

>All my urban peers are decades ahead of me career wise with less effort.

Ever heard of the internet before? Because you're scapegoating your failures away as if you haven't.

Step 1: make something awesome
Step 2: get it out and about
Step 3: find someone who will line you up as a studio tech or whatever so you can afford rent

>I'm going to go be a hobo in NYC
Are you aware that NYC is one of the worst damned places to be homeless? It's a great place to be if you have money. How are you going to make quality music if you're struggling to keep from freezing to death? Where are you going to record if you can't afford a damn roof of your head?

Also: stay the FUCK out of California. I don't care what anyone tells you good about the place; it's all lies. The only thing making California better off than Venezuela is the presence of the few remaining mega-corporations which haven't solved all the logistical challenges of fleeing the state yet.

Just learn your damn skills and create a valuable product. Also thanks for reminding me; that's what I need to do too.

You'll never be a celebrity. If you practice 8 hours a day for 10 years then you'll be the one playing the actual music while a celebrity twerks on stage and lipsyncs.

>>18311067
>suggests Internet when I clearly mentioned that in my post

Fuck off timewastingfag

>>18311022
So you can't get your career started despite cozy life and think you'll be able to do it as a hobo worrying about your next meal? That's not how it works, nigga.

>you'll still be in a useless part of la for meeting bigheads
None of them is going to meet a hobo or care about what some hobo wants to say. You need a valuable product and the most easy way to test whether it's valuable is the Interwebz.

This is a good opportunity for you to prove to yourself who you really are.

Are you the guy that is secure enough in himself to turn down a willing sexual partner because you know it will probably ruin a marriage and friendship?

Or are you the guy that is so desperate to put his penis in a wet hole that you're going to lose a friend and destroy a marriage?

One of those shows that you are confident enough that another girl will come along and it's no big deal to you. The other one shows that your whole life is hanging on this one opportunity. Do with that what you will I suppose.

>>18311025
Wow thanks anon. Whoever you are thanks. Idk what I will do still but that has me thinking already. Seriously I appreciate the fuck out of you.

It depends on how much of a friend he is to you and if you can separate love from lust.

Plus who knows maybe they have an open relationship and/or are into cuckolding.

>>18311009
Do you honestly believe the police care? Worst case scenario you're on a watch list. You didnt access, view, or download anything illegal.

Even if you do get arrested, you can show them proof in the archive

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Yes.

>>18311042
Fair point but still fucking terrifying. The link has apparently been a troll since 2009 and I'm dumb enough to fall for it

>>18310967
>I value any and all input

What fucking input? You aren't even asking advice on anything.

>>18310972
I'm going to guess he wants an evaluation and tips on how he could improve his life, so that's what I'm writing

>>18310967
Sounds like a lot of people hate you because you keep telling them what to do and that they are not efficient enough. That doesn't really matter and meant you would probably make a good boss. Make sure you know what it is like to not be the one in control however, you can get experience by joining in on large group projects.

shit I meant to have it typed in the title, my bad, my question was supposed to be: "Am I an ENTP or ENTJ personality type." Trivial question I know, but any incites are greatly appreciated