Alright, so I have this major problem in my soon to be 8 year

>>18311052
>8 years
>7 years walk down a one way street
>child
>lost hope
I like that part where you had a baby with person who doesnt care about you.

What is she doing that you dont like?

>painted as bad guy
I think your skills dealing with ladies sucks. Are you trying to use logic in arguments dont you?

Tell some examples on what you dont like and how were you trying to fix it?

>>18311113

Well, its not that she doesn't care about me. She just shows it the only way she can, in her own way.

Like my picture describes, she has a very hard time imagining how someone else appreciate a situation. Judging solely from her own personal perspective in many instances.

Take this example for instance. I know for a fact that she enjoys a well cleaned home, good food at the ready when she comes home. I mean, who doesn't, right? So by knowing this will make her happy, I do this from time to time, to show her I appreciate her on her level of communication.

I on the other hand am more of a verbal and contact person when it comes to express my gratitude. I like hugging and snuggling, I like being reminded with kind words and so forth. This is "love" for me. And really is a foundation to a good relationship. And how does she show me how she loves me? She cleans the house from time to time, and sets the dinner ready when I get home from work....

I get it, its her way of showing "love", but its not what I want. Its not what I need from a relationship. For all I care, I could live in a rats nest, as long as I did it with a person who I felt truly appreciate me and shows it on a deeper level than "hey, dinners ready!".


>Tell some examples on what you don't like and how were you trying to fix it?

Well... as you say, I try to use logic on a person who in her own mind is rather perfect. When I apply this logic, she flips the coin and gives the "oh yea?!?!" attitude, and starts to bring totally irrelevant subjects in this argument up.
These days I don't even care anymore. If I really burn for a subject, sure, Ill put on my best performance and totally outwits her (not to hard to be honest), but in the end its like arguing against a well trained internet troll, directly from /b/.... And you just can't win against a retard like that.

>>18311139
Dude, you simply suck at comunication. That is all.

You are frustrated, but when you tell it to your wife (having kid with her is like married, doesnt matter anymore), but you tell it so badly she takes all critique from you as attack on her own personality. So how can you fix it?

Start by realizing that girls are emotions first, logic is like the last thing which will work. If all what bothers you is her lack of showing love to you, you have to simply teach her.

Try it before sleep in bedroom. Dont be like
>honey, i wanna talk with you
that just will make her nervous. Hug her on bed, tell her that you still love her and cant imagine living without her. Then ask her if she wants to go on date with you (dinner / zoo / you know what she likes). And if she will try to ask you what this is about, just tell her you realized that you were bad husband lately. Listen to her without objections, girls need to talk nonsence often just to let the steam out.

Then when she will be relaxed in your arms, tell her that you also need from her to hear words of affection. Make her say she loves you too. Then give her some examples how would you appreciate her showing her love by randomly hugging you and saying you some sweet words from time to time.

Remember, you have to make it sound like YOU are sorry for demandoling that, but that you cant help yourself. That you are simple man who needs daily dose of love and cant function properly without it.

Never ever try to reason with your wife on logical level. That just doesnt work. It is better to behave like the one who is wrong all the time in happy marriage than to win argument and see your own kid only at weekends and pay alimony.

Also how is your sex life? Dead?
:-)

>>18311164

>Start by realizing that girls are emotions first

This tells me directly, you have a very slim experience of what a girl is. Yes, you are probably right in the assumption that many girls are all about emotions, but you are wrong in your assumption that all girls are all about it.

My girl for instance is mostly about practical things in life. She's the girl that would appreciate new things, or a well cleaned house as a token of love. I know this, because I am good at communication, I accept her idea of love and I respond accordingly.

She on the other hand is incapable of the idea that there could be anything beyond her idea of love, and thus only responds in the only way she knows, the same way she wants love to be shown.

>if all what bothers you is her lack of showing love to you, you have to simply teach her.

Thanks for letting me know you haven't red a word I posted.
But moving on, you really think I have lived with this woman for now almost 8 years and never tried my best at this?
A recap from earlier post
>its been mostly a walk down a one way street
> Its all giving and no returns.
>But in a combination of stubbornness and hope, I stuck by her side
> trying my best to make her understand my perspective of things.

This is just to show I have literally tried everything.

To make it simple - If you have person A and person B engaging a relationship.

A is a ball of clay, able to shape its way so that it fits its part of the puzzle, trying to make things work in the relationship.
B on the other hand is a solid block of metal. Unable to change its way of thinking, mostly because it knows its a metal block that's unable to change opinion. No matter how much the clay ball tries to help out, the block of metal will still just be a block of metal.
.

>>18311382


This is the situation I have dealt with looking back now a good 6-7 years. Tried everything from luxurious restaurant's and traveling, to regular housework and gentle talks in the living room sofa.

You name it, and I have done it basically. Hell, the more I write here, the more I start to realize that there isn't much more option left but my last alternative in the original post..

>>18311052
>She simply doesn't respect me.
>I have changed tremendously for her, everything from clothing style to personal habits.

I am not an expert on relationships.
But from my experience, nobody has respect for people who do everything to be liked by someone.

I don't see much concern here about the child you created with this person. You had ample opportunity to figure all this out about your wife before you had a kid. Now that you have one, that child should be your first priority. So before you think about leaving, just remember you'll be leaving your child as well. If she hooks up with someone else your child now has a new daddy taking your place influencing your child. Not to mention all the emotional trauma the child goes through. So regardless of how unloved you feel, stick it out until you raise the child. Then go do whatever you want. Stop being so selfish. It's not all about you.

>>18311052

>I have changed tremendously for her, everything from clothing style to personal habits

This is where you went wrong. Why would she respect you if you changed everything to suit her?

I'm all for improving on negative traits so your partner isn't unhappy, but to change your clothing style and personal habits, plus "everything else" is a bit pathetic.

She sounds like she gets everything she wants from you and now, she has the final piece of the puzzle that every controlling woman needs to completely hold power over her partners life - a child.

You done goofed, OP. It's up to you whether you remain in this relationship or move on, but I would think if you've been trying for 8 years and it isn't any better, it probably isn't going to improve in the next 8 years.

>>18311052
>I have changed tremendously for her, everything from clothing style to personal habits. And by the simple reason that I knew it would make her happy.
Ironically this is the exact opposite of what you should be doing. Even if she says she would be happy if you changed X the reality is that subconsciously she will think you as a weak male she can push around and like you less for it.
Of course by this point trying to turn the ship might just end up breaking it in half so you are double fucked in that sense.

>>18311382
So you told her that you would like her to hug you and say to you something nice and supportive from time to time and nothing? How much direct were you? What were her reactions?

>what a girl is
This is adv, only you know her well enough, the rest has to shoot blindly.

>practical
Then tell hell that you need emotional upkeep in practical term hug in the morning, hug before bed with words: i love you. It doesnt seem to me like super effort. If she forget, remind her next time.

Anyway it doesnt seem to me you suffer terribly in this relationship. Just some discomfort and you already have baby.

Sorry for shit advices, but it seems like you have already given up before making this thread.

Are you sure there isnt some bigger problem you havent told us?

The autusm in this thread is amazing.

OP, you need to come right out with this. Quit overthinking what your saying and metering your emotiins. You're important too, and if you haven't been believing it yourself that is why your woman doesn't. Tell her in a concerned tone; "I don't know what I have done to make you not respect me, but I'm going to figure it out and fix it" and then keep that promise. Work hard to help your woman understand you, and also make sure that you're not taking her for granted and pestering her. Lots of relationships jave a nagger, someone with an outrageous anxiety level that never quits spouting off about what THEY want without giving their partner a moment of silence. Be the mane that YOU would respect, and respect yoyrself' your woman will see this and follow your lead. That is the natural way relationships work. Men are natural leaders. Don't force her to follow your lead, be the leader and make it clear that following you is in her best interest.

My advice is mostly metaphor, but I hipe you understand what I'm getting at. Good luck.

>>18311668
Apologies for the typos. I was in a bit of a rush.

>>18311164
No. you can't deduce it's his fault from what he said. she refuses to communicate, he's not the one that sucks.

>>18311569
he's suffering immensely because his wife is the kidn of human that blames and refuses to look at herself