Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 5627. page

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I've got my most mega feel yet right here
>In Canada
>last year of university
>disillusioned and doing really shitty in all my classes
>turns out I won't graduate on time at this rate
>go to career fair at my university
>impress a nice company with my previous experience and resume
>they invite me and some others to to a private open house at their office
>seems like a really chill place, get along well with everyone
>make it to the next round of interviews after expressing my interest
>ace the oral and the technical, they like my cover letter too
>they look at my transcript
>my grades are horrible but they don't seem to mind too much
>It gets to the point where I'm given an employment contract
>I eagerly sign it, I've got a job!
>Goof off for the rest of the semester
>Only complete group-based work since I'm accountable to my teammates
>Did horribly in my exams
cot'd

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>tfw to late too shitpost in the pedophile threads twoday

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>>36879069
>get invited to meetings at the company before I'm even hired
>enjoying their free beer in the office
>get treated to free dinner, too
>first day of work was today in the morning
>get treated to a newbie lunch with HR
>the conversation turns to the hiring process
>HR tells me a little story
>"We had someone who said they had both basic and advanced certification in so-and-so tech, but it turns out she lied about the advanced"
>"So we found out and confronted her, and she got very defensive"
>"I took it one step further and got her caught in a lie I made up for her"
>"She was fired a few days later"
>another newbie chimes in
>"What if I got hired but it turned out I didn't have my degree?"
>HR guy responds
>"That would be even worse, since without a degree you can't get the TN1 Visa we need for you to work for clients in the US"
>get a horrible sinking feeling the rest of the day
>checked my exam results a few hours ago
>sure enough, I failed my courses
>not eligible for a degree
>I'm caught in the exact scenario described at lunch
>even getting paranoid and starting to think that story was a setup by HR to let me know they're already on to me
>HR even took my photo, put it on a nice banner, and sent it out in a company-wide email
>the email congratulates me as a new hire, who has career experience at company X
>and a bachelor's degree in Y
I'm gonna have to tell them I don't have that degree tomorrow

fuck off idiot nigger faggot
saged

>>36878832
Suck my dick, cunt.
Don't you have frogs to masturbate to and interracial porn to save?

Cock muncher.
Thanks, I feel a little better.

>>36878797
Leave Japari Park.

>>36878768

Here's a video from 1958 showing the dangers of "going too far".

https://archive.org/details/HowMuchA1958

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>>36878768
Your fucked OP
See you're ass in the slammer yuo disgusting rapist

>>36878768
Maybe, but most girls are on birth control.

You do however put yourself at risk of catching a funny disease or two.

t. cyborg who had unprotected sex with multiple partners
only caught Hep C from the last girl, so I used up all my luck on those rolls of the dice

What do you guys think would have happened if Operation Unthinkable (attacking the Soviet Union after Germany collapsed)? Glad it never panned out? What about the land invasion of Japan?

For the former, I'm glad we didn't because we would've been fucked so hard and Europe would still be under Soviet control, methinks. Ditto for the proposed invasion of Japan, shit would've been too costly and split the country in half a la Germany.

Dude the tension with North Korea hasn't gotten that bad yet

ah, my first autistic obsession

>>36878694
Boys don't get subtlety. You gotta be blunt

Try going after someone who is not Chad and you might get some dick retard.

>>36878694
Try it on me for practice fag

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>>36878669
this is the only right way to make a sandwich

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to be a prized warrior is like having a girlfriend who will give you all 3 holes and not cheat on you

rare, and mostly found in the middle ages.

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dogger 4 lyfe

>ywn look good bald

>>36878666
Neither will she.

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>>36878666
DEVIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
TRIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPS
CHECKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKED

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Discord is for normies REEEEEE

ethans on here guys

>>36878876
i heard that guy's 56 years old

You end up back at happiness once you go far enough.

I've always felt that the problem was I was smart enough to see all the bullshit but not smart enough to be able to look past it. Maybe that's the problem op, you're just too stupid to be happy

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>>36878636
This quote is basically what you're looking for.

>>36878606
>open any folder on my computer
>every one of them is full of gay porn, meme frogs and fantasy wallpapers
Gay atlantean frogpeople orgy when?

>>36878606
I was going to say that Wojak looks content with life, but then I realized he was wearing a hijab, not a blanket.

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>>36878606
Genuinely happy images aren't funny

>>36878586
God is black father tier.

>>36878586
Enjoy completely wasting your life, being nothing but a burden to society, just to go to a heaven that doesn't exist.

>>36878659
>Enjoy completely wasting your life,
Odd asumption about me. Even if God isn't real (which I strongly doubt), if the atheists are right then it didn't matter ifI worship God or not. But if he is real (which he is), I worship.
>being nothing but a burden to society,
We are all burdens to society to some extent, at least I'm not a NEET
>just to go to a heaven that doesn't exist.
No, i can go to heaven or hell. It depends on God's grace. But because I love Christ, and repent, I have eternal salvation, which is available to all through Christ.

Never *smile* *smile*

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When I found out my onetis was getting creampied one night

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>>36878523
When it never occurred, not once, in my 25 years of life.

She has pierced nipples

>she was a cheerleader in high school
not inherently bad, but usually means she's a sheeple.

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>>36878496
>She exists

This is a very original oregano comment.

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G,

Gimme the strength I need please

P,
I'm realizing what I put you through all those years ago. I wish I could tell you I'm sorry.

I want to die. I want to die.

I'm tired of waking up with the first thought in my head being "I want to die." I'm tired of breaking down crying in sadness, loneliness, and despair every day. Knowing that the world not only not caring if I died but actively trying to kill me. That I'm not worth a damn fucking thing.

I genuinely wish I never existed.

I want to die.

You actually thought I'd want to date you? I lost a bet.

>>36878407
You're sure right I did!

>*flex to try and impress the bad guy*

Yeah... heay... yeah... heay... yeah... heay... yeah... heay...
I did ):