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(most of) You DO NOT BELONG here, go to /soc/, reddit, facebook or instagram and stop poisoning this one time unique board, you are NOT Robot, just another insignificant normie average Joe with some midly passing depression
Here are 20 of the core Robot requirements, you must meet at least 51% quota continue:
1>Abused as a child (by parents and/or bullies)
2>Mom was a monster
3>Virgin
4>Depressed
5>NEET
6>Recurrent suicidal thoughts
7>Socially shut in
8>Nihilistic
9>Constantly idling
10>Misogynist
11>Delusional (believes to be super smart, unique, handsome, etc)
12>Self loathing
13>Very poor self hygiene
14>Fear, anxiety and lack of self-confidence in social situations
15>Ugly or average looking at best
16>Into sick porn
17>Crippling laziness
18>Parasitic way of life (living of parents, government, or similar)
19>Absolutely no gf EVER
20>No real friends
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>>38750828
1,3,4,6,7,10,12,14,15,19,20 OK
51% checked
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>tfw almost all of these apply to me
I'm not a very good human being.
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>>38750869
>>38750885
So glad there is real Robots still around :)
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Should I go to an anime convention robots?
I'm thinking about just going as a super saiyan, because I grew up with Dragon Ball Z and I have the muscles to pull it off. (Th-Thanks /fit/)
What is your experience with cons?
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>>38750802
Lots of slutty cosplayers. There are basically orgies in hotel rooms. The people are typically annoying autistic males with a few normal/chad guys sprinkled in and disgusting braindead 'i'm like so nerdy' females of varying attractiveness. Gross all around. A truly horrid 'community'.
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>the muscles to pull of a super saiyan look
psssssh nuthin personell kid but no fucking way haha
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a lot of fun actually- i worked there once to get paid. i met lots of super kind people but you will have to experience lots of cringy moments. yeah you will find lots of sluts if you are interested in those as well.
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>white men actually find this creature, and Jennifer Lawrence attractive
>they really really believe it too
Sad.
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ugly ass bitch, fucked up ass manface too
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i never got the tswift hype. jennifer lawrence is average looking but still hot
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wtf, she's pretty cute
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Do I really have to buy Audio-Technica ATH-M50S to be taken seriously?
Why is it so difficult to be accepted in the music community? I just want to enjoy music, but lots of people seem so elitist about almost every little thing.
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>>38750659
Dont do it anon, yeah they sound pretty good but holy fuck they're uncomfortable. Get some bayerdynamic dt770s literally god tier
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>>38750659
Do yourself a favor and go on Massdrop and spend the extra 50 bucks on either Sennheiser HD 6XX or the AKG K7XX. Unless you absolutely need closed headphones in which case I personally like Beyerdynamic DT770 more than the M50.
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what is a god-tier headphone for 30-40 GBP????
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Does money work for women?
I dont have much else
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>>38750658
Is water wet? Yes it works you fucking autistic virgin.
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>>38750684
So what do i do
Buy then a gucci purse or something
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>>38750658
It will attract women but they won't be attracted to you. They'll be attracted to your money.
The only way to make women really lust for you is to have good genetics.
Anonymous
Media rushes to report that new DNA discovery disproves Biblical claims, are promptly made fools of 2017-07-31 07:09:13 Post No.38750517
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Media rushes to report that new DNA discovery disproves Biblical claims, are promptly made fools of 2017-07-31 07:09:13 Post No.38750517
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Media rushes to report that new DNA discovery disproves Biblical claims, are promptly made fools of
Anonymous
2017-07-31 07:09:13
Post No. 38750517
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https://evolutionnews.org/2017/07/for-culturally-illiterate-science-reporters-ancient-canaanite-dna-yields-occasion-to-slap-the-bible-around/
>"Human remains dating to some 3,700 year ago from ancient Canaanites yielded DNA revealing a startling overlap with modern-day Lebanese. The latter thus appear to harbor descendants of the long-ago population."
A few of the headlines:
>"Study disproves the Bible's suggestion that the ancient Canaanites were wiped out" (The Telegraph)
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/2017/07/28/study-disproves-bibles-claim-ancient-canaanites-wiped/
>"DNA vs the Bible: Israelites did not wipe out the Canaanites" (Comsos)
https://cosmosmagazine.com/archaeology/dna-vs-the-bible-israelites-did-not-wipe-out-the-canaanites
>"Bronze Age DNA disproves the Bible's claim that the Canaanites were wiped out: Study says their genes live on in modern-day Lebanese people" (Daily Mail)
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-4733046/Canaanites-ancestors-modern-day-people-Lebanon.html
My favorite:
>"The Bible was WRONG: Civilisation God ordered to be KILLED still live and kicking"(Express)
http://www.express.co.uk/news/science/834203/Bible-was-WRONG-canaanite-hebrew-israelite
>"The only problem with this reporting? The Bible is detailed and unambiguous in relating that the Canaanites survived Joshua's invasion."
>"The first chapter in Judges lists all the places in Israel where the Canaanites persisted, "to this day," "for they did not drive them out," "he dwelt among the Canaanites, the inhabitants of the land," etc. God is not happy with this, for "they shall be as snares to you, and their gods shall be a trap to you" (2:3)."
Oops! But this isn't the first time scientists and science writers jumped the gun when declaring a particular scriptural claim debunked. As recently as 15 years ago The Pool of Siloam was supposed to be a myth, too.
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>>38750517
Maybe one day creationism can finally be dis proven. Scientists certainly have a long and difficult road ahead of them trying to prove our magic skydaddy isn't real
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>>38750517
Didn't the ancient Israelis refuse to kill the children when ordered? I thought thats why they had to wander the desert for 40 years.
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>>38750614
boy did they learn their lesson
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Okay robots, I'm going to try my hand at Tinder, but I'm stuck on the bio. Thus far, I have:
"Student. Aspiring Writer. Friend to animals. Amateur Hiker. e-Penpal to a Nigerian Prince. [Placeholder Noun].
Let's go on a hike or nitpick documentaries together!"
I feel like it's a trainwreck, but I'm not sure what else to do. I was initially going to write "I'm only here because of dismal luck on www.blackpeoplemeet.com" (Not even remotely black), but I'm not overly fond of that.
wat do?
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>>38750508
Wow, that's really bad. I dunno, that's probably the type of shit that roasties and normies think is good, so go for it.
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>>38750508
Hey robots, Im making a tinder profile, but im stuck on the bio, here's what I have so far
>Uninteresting
>Massive Faggot
>Long_walks_on_the_beach.cliche
It reflects you perfectly.unfortunately
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>>38750508
Pretty boring, but ordinary for normie standards.
If you're attractive you'd probably have success.
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>post stalking tips, tricks and techniques
>share stories of your favourite victims
>explain why you love stalking people so much
I'm relatively new, mainly done online research, started branching out into some physical stuff like house drive-bys, walking around garden of houses etc.
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Forgot to add my motivations, its a fun way to get out of the house and learn new things, while feeling a nice sense of control and superiority.
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>>38750425
do you use free background check sites to find out where people live or do you somehow tell by the pictures
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>>38750425
Alright OP, since you asked, here are some tips
> keep your weapons and armour in good condition
> keep your eye on your medical supplies and food
> vodka is suitable for getting rid of small amounts of radiation, but radiation pills are better
> artifacts make for some quick cash, but your life is more valuable
> when you get a notification about emissions, you get your ass underground or in a heavily fortified bunker and wait for it to be over
> don't underestimate the power of mind control
> and most importantly, the corpse can't say no, therefore, it's not rape, see?
Now get out of here STALKER
>be me
>26 yr old
>big boy (big boned)
>haven't eaten in 10 minutes, might die
>mummy says tendies won't be ready for another 30 minutes
>REEEEEEEEE.jpeg
>wade big boy bulk through endless field of coke bottles filled with piss and shit
>ohgodthesmell.jpeg
>after the absolute nightmare of abandoning my waifu to go to the kitchen, I finally arrive to see mummy trying to escape
>mummy mummy, where are you going? the tendies, mummy! tendies!
>she starts screaming
>use my big boy strength to grab toy train (I love Thomas the tank engine, if i get enough good boy points i get to watch it) and wack mummy with it
>mummy passes out
>I grab the tendies and start eating, filling my big boy tummy
>suddenly i slip in some shit that leaked from my big boy nappy and fall over, causing an earthquake
>mfw tendies not ready
>mfw mom's spaghetti
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>>38750365
How do you shit in a coke bottle
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Raw power and determination, my friend.
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>>38750467
Gotta have a strong sphincter, push it in and of course scrape the excess off the sides and poke it in. It's easy enough anon, why must you ask such silly questions?
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Hey is kakyoin poster still alive? Or did he give up?
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>>38750337
he went 100+ days so he was pretty devotited so he probably has had something happen to him
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>>38750358
Thanks anon. Hopefully this thread reaches him. I enjoyed the kakyoin posting
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I will post in his stead.
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does anyone else have a really strong erection pointing upwards touching their belly? Do i need to buy an expensive penis straightening thing or can i make it stand straight out by applying pressure over time.
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its because your a virgin
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>>38750330
yeah anon, sounds like your dick is pretty fucked, you IMMEDIATELY need to put it in some sort of penis straightener. You will feel some pain, and there may be some bleeding, but that's only to be expected. Report to your nearest Penis Inspection Officer in one month
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lol you literally have a virgin boner
What does she mean by this???????? Why do women make it confusing??? TINDER
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Maybe she's looking for a serious relationship instead of hooking up? That's reasonable but i don't know why she wouldn't just put "looking for serious relationship". Idk just ask her.
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She only wants to sleep with men who can give her an enjoyable time without sex. The first step is actually holding a conversation with her. After that, she may meet you. You'll exchange personal information possibly. After you meet her, you have to have a rousing good time with her. She wants interesting conversation. She wants to know who you are as a friend. Assuming that you successfully pass these requirements, she will then sleep with you.
The short story is she doesn't want a serious relationship, but she doesn't want your common one-night stand either.
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>>38750367
>choker
>tinder
>serious relationship
She's looking to fuck but you gotta make her like you first
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>tfw your sibling is an even bigger loser than you are
>tfw your parents stay off your back because of it
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>tfw your sibling killed himself
>tfw your parents won't leave you alone now
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tfw this means parents are putting all of their faith in me not to fuck up
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>>38750227
>tfw loser sibling
At least I'm getting my engineering degree and leeching all I want
what do you think robots? is she right?
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There's nothing wrong with being a virgin by choice. There's something wrong with being a virgin not by choice, but people shouldn't be ridiculed for it.
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The only people who even care about being a virgin or not are either underage, inexperienced, or hyper religious. The kids on here focus so much on this they don't realize nobody in the adult world fucking cares or even will ask about that at all.
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>>38750350
>the adult world
To you, that is the retirement home? Because you certainly aren't accurately reflecting the workforce.
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>mom found the poo igloo
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>>38750155
>poo igloo
newfag
please explain
pics help
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>sister found the snot strainer
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>auntie found the audit closet