Dear /adv/,
My parents divorced when I was a very young. I went to live with relatives. My dad remarried and moved away, my mom was found murdered in her home a few years later.
My family (aunts, uncles, grandparents) refuse to talk about my parents divorce, their marriage of 15+ years, or my mom's death.
Additionally, I've got scars and injuries on my body that are unexplained. I'm pretty sure they are from an accident (or maybe abuse?) that happened when I was a small child, but I honestly can't remember.
I'd like to get court records on my parents - their divorce, any domestic violence arrests, custody battle stuff, my mom's death, etc. I think it would answer a lot of questions.
But like I said, my family won't talk about it. I'm not even sure what year the divorce was finalized. Any tips on where to start in my search, especially with very little information?
Any help would be appreciated.
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Have you tried contacting your dad?
No idea how to go about getting court records. You'll have to figure out which county they got divorced in and maybe call the court to see how you can access old records.
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>>18553523
Same thing with the police reports. If your mom was murdered, there should be a police report. Call the police station to see how you can access old records. Though, police records are not as open to the public as court documents.
Your family is a bunch of dick heads for not telling you more.
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>>18553523
Just walk away anon. There's nothing in the past that will help with your future.
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Why would someone still be with their boyfriend/girlfriend If they cause them so much stress and/or self hate? I know they can be scared of ending up alone but still. Is it their love for them? Or hope that things can get better?
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>>18553503
Because I'm in love with him. It's that simple.
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>>18553503
When you invest so much into something you'll try close to everything to make it work.
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>>18553503
I'd take a bullet for the person I care about. Why wouldn't you do anything to make shit work? One person in the relationship always tends to love the other more though.
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My girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for a long time now, we love each other to death and we plan on getting married very soon. However we both just learned that she has two tumors in her left breast, originally the doctors said they were benign but they want to do another biopsy to be sure. We're scared and if I were to lose her I don't know what I'd do with myself. She is very young and a lot younger than most women with breast cancer but it is still a possibility, how do we cope with this? Or at the very least keep it out of our minds while we wait for results? What can we do to fix this?
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>>18553482
If I told you you had a month to live what would you do? Would you spend the entire month focusing on how you're about to stop living or would you live life to its fullest?
I'm sorry to hear that man that's legitimately scary and I feel for you and her but the worst thing you could do is put your life on pause.
If you love this woman it should be no issue to stay by her side during this extremely tough time.
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>>18553482
> It's 10.30 at night who the fuck is cutting onions
Anyway op the only thing you can do is enjoy each other as much as possible take each moment as if it would last 1000 years
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>>18553482
Take every day as it comes, cherish every moment, and keep morale up. A good mood can actually literally help someone get through disease or sickness.
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>be me 18
>mom is homeless
>lives in tunnel and 'bf' treats her like shit
>can't beat him up though
>no idea what to do
>tunnel becomes unbearable to sleep in
she has no where to sleep and she can't get a job because of a metal rod in her back and neck (drunk driver hit her) , and she is denied disability, so shes fucked.
this shit stresses me the fuck out and I have no idea what the fuck to do, shes not allowed in my house because my stepmom is a 100% cunt and not anywhere else to go. what do I do?
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>>18553451
There are a lot of homeless shelters and half way homes that would be fantastic for her to get back on her feet. Those places also help find jobs for the homeless and it's easy to get a job, because the place of employment gets a large tax break.
If your mom really wants to change her environment google local homeless shelters and employment centers for her. Then take her there.
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>>18553451
what area do you live in? you need to find her a disability lawyer. They'll get it approved.
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>>18553461
she told me she tried shelters before but they said they couldnt do anything for her, but that was a year or so ago, should I try again?
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So, I finally worked up the courage to ask out this cute cashier this evening. I started out fairly confident. When I asked, she looked shocked and embarrassed. Her manager saw her apparent distress and came in. I assume said manager thought I was robbing the place. So I ended up spilling my spaghetti, mildly sperged out, awkwardly handed her a note with my number on it and walked out the door. I'll wait and see if she gets ahold of me. If she doesn't, is there any way to salvage this, or should I just avoid going to this store for the rest of my life?
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>>18553398
Holy s*** dude this is so insecure but ballsy at the same time haha.
If I were you I would just go shop at the store and smile at her the f*** is she going to do? Look away while you get your bananas?
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It's good that you worked up the courage to ask her out but you should avoid chicks at work unless you're sure they're into you.
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>>18553402
woah, what the h**k, bro?
you're not supposed to curse here!!!
dear g*******, i can't believe your parents allow you to let you get away with such g***** language!
A man I've never met before message me over facebook saying I'm a "child predator" and wants to know if I've registered as one. At first, I didn't know what he was talking about, then he mentioned the girl's name and that she had killed herself recently. To which I am sorry to hear that. Here's the back story.
About 6-7 years ago I began chatting with a user on a forum called "yaoigirl" it turned sexual (cyber chat and she sent some nudes). She later disclosed she was 15 going on 16, she wasn't 18 as she told me. She also told me she was having these kinds of chats with other men, etc. She had a lot of issues (family problems, verbally abusive parents) and I thought it was best not to talk to her anymore so I stopped. It lasted all of a month or two? She lived outside of the USA and I was about 21 at the time.
Anyway, today, some dude message me and family on facebook (I just changed all my stuff to private) saying I'm a child predator and he's going to turn me in/wants me to register, etc. He said he found me in a police report and found some of the pictures, etc, I guess of one I sent her too (I'm assuming I sent one back then, I honestly cannot remember). I've erased anything long ago over various computer builds, reinstalling windows, etc.
Do I need to be worried about going to jail for having had "child porn"? Should throw away my hard drive even though it was wiped years ago? I've heard there are programs to recover wiped data. I am a little freaked out about the prospects of being charged for child porn over a girl who sent me nudes years ago. It was long ago, I was young and stupid. She was the only girl I had something sexual with who was under 18. Given, it was ALL online and I have NEVER met her. But I've heard news stories of people being put away for having images real or otherwise.
I'm also sad to hear she's gone, she chatted me 2 years ago to say she had a husband and kid and was just saying hi and stuff. Assuming this man isn't lying she's dead
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She's dead and that's way long ago. Is it even legal to charge you on having nudes with a girl who would probably be legal by now. Block and ignore, or delete your Facebook but don't reg it will ruin your life.
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What was the state you live in and her country ? I need the Info
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>>18553401
I am not sure, a quick google said there's not "statue of limitations" to child porn, I just got worried he supposedly found out through a police report. Thanks, you're probably right, and I am over reacting but he got me worried. I'm hoping more it's a sick joke, and she's not actually dead.
>>18553406
Her: Australia. Me: Utah
Anonymous
Is it safe to take adderall and drink coffee? 2017-07-25 02:29:46 Post No.18553349
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Is it safe to take adderall and drink coffee? 2017-07-25 02:29:46 Post No.18553349
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Is it safe to take adderall and drink coffee?
Anonymous
2017-07-25 02:29:46
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Is it safe to take adderall and drink coffee?
My friend used to take vyvanse and drink coffee and he seemed fine. But everyone else claims you'll get and anxiety attack.
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>>18553349
No, it's safe go ahead anon
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>>18553349
Do you have a pre-existing condition such as HBP or any other cardiovascular problems?
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>>18553363
No blood pressure or heart problems that I know of. But I do have anxiety issues.
Anonymous
Advice on smoking pot 2017-07-25 02:23:31 Post No.18553336
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Advice on smoking pot 2017-07-25 02:23:31 Post No.18553336
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I need some advice about smoking pot... It's the third time because the first two didn't quite work and happened years ago. I just want to chill because some important things are going to happen in my life, and maybe think better about them while high and make better decisions. It's just this time and because i have the chance to go with my cousin tomorrow.
What i want to know is, what are some good things to do to keep control and how to cope with anxiety? After some research i've read an article on reddit that perfectly describes me:
>Your mind is uptight. It needs to be in control, and be at attention at all times. These people usually are the ones that ask when its going to end, or are scared that they will get stuck that way forever. You'll feel your heart and start thinking its out of place for it to be beating so fast which could trigger it. You could zone out for a minute, come back, and that could trigger it.
I think my mind isn't strong enough because i can't relax even when subconsciously knowing i'm just high and won't go crazy or something like that.
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Marijuana is fucking awful for people with anxiety issues. It just made my anxiety worse and worse. It's obviously not for you
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I have anxiety, and I'm not crazy about weed. If I smoke a little, and I mean a little (like only taking a single small hit) then it's fine and I feel relaxed, but any more than that and I start getting too sucked into my own head. That's when I start feeling a little crazy, not to where I freak out, just to where it's not 100% fun and positive for me anymore.
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If you're unsure how it will affect you just start with an extremely small dose before bedtime and see how you take that, if all goes well then the next day try a little more and so on.
The thing that helped me cope with my anxieties about weed is the understanding of what it's doing to me so therefore I won't try to fight it then cause myself more problems.
The way I see it is that when you get high you get pulled into the "moment" the "now" so hard that you can't even try to remember what you had just said. There is no past and no future when you are high only the now. Knowing that you then have to know that the only way to enjoy the high is to enjoy the now. If you try to think about what you just said or what you just did you won't have a good time.
Like everything in life practice makes perfect, start with something small and try to get the hang of it like I said.
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Any aquarists here?
I'm looking to start a little self-sustaining aquarium project. I've read into it of course and I find it really interesting. There's this guide I am reading as well so I know a few of the basics. One question though, in your personal opinion what would be a good starting size for an aquarium? I've been thinking about a 50 gallon one but I'd like to see other recommendations to broaden up my choices.
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>>18553176
Just get some plants and turtles, they live pretty long provided the enviroment is stable.
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>>18553180
mind if we talk about that a little bit? What would be some basic things to check out for a "stable environment"?
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>>18553176
>self sustaining
>50 gallon
you need like 250+ to get anywhere near self sustaining. and you will always have to add and drain water. you are going to invest a shit ton of time and money into essentially building a space age level life support system if you go saltwater. not even joking. also, you need multiple tanks to deal with disease, you can't medicate a tank with inverts in it.
t. I kept salt water tanks for some years and was going to study marine biology before the recession hit.
my suggestion, save for a 100 gallon, get the equipment, a really good protein skimmer, sump tank, really good canister filter, at least two pumps and make sure they are the kind that mimic wave action, and start there. move really slow and don't go blow a few hundred to a thousand dollars on live fiji rock until you really know what you're doing, you'll just waste all your money.
like, you kinda stress me out with that ambition for a self sustaining system at 50 gal. you're gonna kill everything several times before you even approach success. the miniature reef tanks all over the internet and in magazines take a shit ton of time anon. I used to spend at least an hour a day on my miniature reef tank when I had it to make sure it was where it needed to be.
really study the biology you want to replicate. study the microbiology its going to take to get there. study the cycling of the chemistry of aquariums. then study the interactions between the fish and inverts you want to keep.
Anonymous
Is it safe for someone who has a family history of schizophrenia to smoke weed? 2017-07-25 01:15:49 Post No.18553173
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Is it safe for someone who has a family history of schizophrenia to smoke weed? 2017-07-25 01:15:49 Post No.18553173
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Is it safe for someone who has a family history of schizophrenia to smoke weed?
Anonymous
2017-07-25 01:15:49
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I have a sibling who has severe schizophrenia and I was wondering if it's safe for me to smoke weed or not, I've heard that it would be a bad idea from family but I was hoping you guys might have some thoughts?
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>>18553173
Yes it would be. It can trigger or help bring out some psycho tendencies.
But I know people who still do it and they're still alive.
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>>18553173
No, don't risk a lifetime of misery for a few moments of drug induced pleasure
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>>18553173
Like >>18553387 said. No.
Be straight edge, be sober. I smoked a lot of weed. Family history of mental illness. I got away with it for years, but it turned into a habit and eventually I started having panic attacks and it just really REALLY messed up my head.
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One of my ex girlfriends/baby mothers friends hit me up on Facebook today.
Should i be suspicious?
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Yes she will probably talk about you behind your back about how you want to fuck random fb girls
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she obviously wants your dick.
If you meet up it will be either really awkward or you will end up banging or both.
Up to you to decide what to do.
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>>18553159
Other than that, she's ugly and has no brain. Look at the way she texts you.
You can do better than this one
Or maybe you're the same level
Anonymous
How might I start feeling connected? 2017-07-25 12:52:11 Post No.18553110
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How might I start feeling connected? 2017-07-25 12:52:11 Post No.18553110
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How might I start feeling connected?
Anonymous
2017-07-25 12:52:11
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I feel so disconnected. Like I'm not a real person, and that no one is actually close to me.
I have plenty of friends. People always like me. I'm pretty personable, I'm funny, and I make an effort to listen. But these friendships, they're always still distant. My friends hang out with each other more than with me. I try to get together with people one on one, and it almost never happens. I feel like an event. Everyone seems to like me when I'm at parties or even when we're sober with a good group of friends, but when those aren't happening, I'm just distant. Not a part of it somehow. Even though I try.
I think I'm bad at texting. So this might be a part of it. It's way easier for me to get over my anxiety when I'm in front of someone and I can't dwell on what I'm going to say for half an hour or longer.
My mom has paranoid delusions, and honestly she always made me feel like less than a person when I was just a tool in her fantasies. Still does, via text and other bullshit. I think that might factor.
A couple of people even told me they were intimidated by my intelligence, and that fucking sucked. I try not to brag. I sometimes talk about things I'm interested in, and to hear that made me feel like I was back in middle school. I don't want to... dumb myself down though. Yesterday someone told me in the middle of conversation that we should just talk about simple things. That really bothered me honestly.
What do I do? Make new friends? I happen to like my friends but this is a problem for me. I'd give up all of them if I just had one good friend. Is there anything I'm doing wrong? My lack of a sense of belonging is really keeping me depressed.
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Same
You're real though. Don't worry.
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>>18553112
How might I not worry about this? If there's anything I want out of life, it is to feel as if what I do matters. To be of some consequence.
It doesn't much feel like that right now.
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i feel this way, OP. bumping for some advice
>applied for a job on the cherrypicker at a warehouse
>got an interview today
>went
>tons of other people there, all for the same job I'm gunning for
>blurt out in the heat of the moment that I've used cherrypicker lifts for several months in the past
>interviewer is beaming and says "finally we have someone come in with experience"
>I've never used one before
>they're giving me a skill assessment on Wednesday
How fucked am I? Any tips? Anyone go through something similar?
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>>18553022
> YouTube is your friend
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>>18553026
This
>watch a shit load of videos on them
>memorize controls, where everything is, etc.
>pass the test
Easy
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>>18553022
Watch hours of YouTube videos
A 13 year old kid taught himself to drive doing this
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Should you tell a girl you're a virgin?
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Being a virgin past 18 is a red flag. So wait until afterwards if you really want to tell her.
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>>18553005
Say it with pride. Pretending that you aren't only makes you look pathetic. You shouldn't care what a random girl thinks. Also imo if a girl is disgusted by the fact you are a virgin, she is not relationship material.
You are the man (assuming OP is male), the woman expects a leader. She should be the one fitting in your life, not the other way around, no matter what females say, the more you change yourself to fit her life, the less attracted to you she becomes.
Taking dating advice from a woman is like a predator asking prey how to catch prey. Do you think the prey will answer honestly? Women have cognitive dissonance, build yourself up stand your ground and let them come to you.
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I do it and they always act so surprised?????
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How do I talk to someone(girl) if we haven't spoken for about 3 months?
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You open your mouth and produce sounds.
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>>18552979
"Hello, how are you?"
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>>18552982
>>18552984
I also have anxiety. How do I get over it?