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Anonymous
How might I start feeling connected? 2017-07-25 12:52:11 Post No.
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How might I start feeling connected? 2017-07-25 12:52:11 Post No.
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I feel so disconnected. Like I'm not a real person, and that no one is actually close to me.
I have plenty of friends. People always like me. I'm pretty personable, I'm funny, and I make an effort to listen. But these friendships, they're always still distant. My friends hang out with each other more than with me. I try to get together with people one on one, and it almost never happens. I feel like an event. Everyone seems to like me when I'm at parties or even when we're sober with a good group of friends, but when those aren't happening, I'm just distant. Not a part of it somehow. Even though I try.
I think I'm bad at texting. So this might be a part of it. It's way easier for me to get over my anxiety when I'm in front of someone and I can't dwell on what I'm going to say for half an hour or longer.
My mom has paranoid delusions, and honestly she always made me feel like less than a person when I was just a tool in her fantasies. Still does, via text and other bullshit. I think that might factor.
A couple of people even told me they were intimidated by my intelligence, and that fucking sucked. I try not to brag. I sometimes talk about things I'm interested in, and to hear that made me feel like I was back in middle school. I don't want to... dumb myself down though. Yesterday someone told me in the middle of conversation that we should just talk about simple things. That really bothered me honestly.
What do I do? Make new friends? I happen to like my friends but this is a problem for me. I'd give up all of them if I just had one good friend. Is there anything I'm doing wrong? My lack of a sense of belonging is really keeping me depressed.
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Same
You're real though. Don't worry.
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>>18553112
How might I not worry about this? If there's anything I want out of life, it is to feel as if what I do matters. To be of some consequence.
It doesn't much feel like that right now.
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i feel this way, OP. bumping for some advice
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>>18553110
I'm the same way to some degree and the way I've coped with it, is to just understand that this is the way I am.
Going with the flow and acting as an observer is the hand I feel that I have been dealt, and so I play it.
The second we start thinking about stuff is the second you stop living. Really think about that.
When you're having fun and you're so in the moment there's almost no thoughts going on it's almost like you're on autopilot and that's the beauty of life, that's what living is to me.
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>>18553134
You are spending so much time worrying about wasting your life that you're wasting your life. If you feel that what you're doing is wrong try doing what you feel is right.
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>>18553467
That's very true. When I'm in the zone everything just feels right and I think I'm even a better person. I just need practice getting out of my own head, it ruins everything for me. I can't love anything because I'll think my way out of it.
I've been trying meditation, and it has been good for me. I'm just impatient and undisciplined really.
>>18553470
I want to know what I'm doing wrong so I can stop it. But you're probably right on the worrying part. I need to stop thinking about it so much. The times I feel most disconnected are when I focus on it, but it's just so difficult for me to stop. I've always had difficulty just... walking away. Just letting things pass. Leaving things be when further action would only make them worse. Something to work on.
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>>18553581
Also, I'm not saying that you shouldn't go in your head but I am saying that you shouldn't worry about it so much. The way you feel is completely normal and is a side effect of being and observant human who looks inwardly. Look up some talks by Alan Watts or U.G. krishnamurti.
The talks where Alan Watts talks about Buddhism and the are the ones I'm thinking of specifically.
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>>18553596
Fair enough. When I use the phrase "inside my own head" it's usually with a negative connotation, I suppose because I often spend my thinking time worrying.
I'll look into those talks.
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