Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 6844. page

>>16442511

I work for a psychic who deals with spirits a lot, and though i wasn't really a believer before, I have to say I'm pretty convinced. i see some freaky shit from time to time.

my boss charges a 500 dollar flat rate for these sorts of spirit releases, but if the person clearly cant afford it and needs help, we always do it anyway.

anywho if you want to reverse scam your mom, here is what you need to do

>get a friend who has a hippie dippie vibe, maybe go to the drama department at your shcool and look for a chick there who would be willing to help you
>create her a fake little website for her 'psychic healer persona' it doesnt take that long, like two hours tops and just design a front page describing her journey
>talk about how shes a local psychic who got her 'gift' after a near death experience, and now helps people in the great bum fucked egypt area with their clearings
>assuming your mom isn't tech savvy this will do, but if not, write out a fake local news article and photoshop it to a news template, print it out, and show her
>Tell your mom you are concerned cuz this expensive lady doesnt seem to be working but you are going to submit to this woman
>2 days later, bring your FREE psychic over and go through a pre-scripted free seance together, where she says she definitely knew as soon as she got your email that this was serious business
>do some BS ritual where you burn a little sage, do a little group prayer, have her fake the own demonic voice, and then have her reach out to your mother
>Tell her that her husband is trapped in the void and only your mothercan set him free
>ask your mother to go get a personal affect like a wedding ring

>>16442532
>your psychic and your mother chant together, and channel the dark energy into something like a regular glass cup
>then your moms duty is to go outside, and destroy the glass by shattering outside of the property line
>this sets your father free so he may return to his afterlife
>the spirits, trapped in the glass, are destroy with it, while your fathers spirit (seperated into the ring) is set free

congrats, you just convinced your mom to stop wasting money on an expensive psychic. yes, its complex, yes it will take a whole two days of effort, but its better than weeks of being extorted

You could threaten to leave if you're that fed up with it.

But before you do I suggest finding cheaper ways to put your mother at ease instead of dismissing her entirely. Give this fake psychic lady the boot and tell your mom you want to cleanse the house some other way. Go find yourself a cheaper priest or clergy person or another more trustworthy paranormal investigator or psychic or shaman to bless your house and pronounce it clean without drawing out the process and bleeding your mum dry. Or go to /x/ and ask them some cheap do it yourself methods to cleanse the house on your own.

Have a rich daddy.

>>16442494

>straight As since kindergarden
>amazing portfolio of random shit you do to look impressive (jobs, sports, community service, etc)
>amazing adversity essay about how you got your olympic medal by saving a bus of school children from driving off a cliff

basically making yourself look amazingly impressive to have

>>16442506
this

unless you've been groomed for it, you probably won't make it

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>>16442446
That's weird. I also had a dream where I fucked your mom.

you have suppressed your gay urges and you are literally copulating (identifying) with your anima.
solution, come out and start sucking dicks.

>>16442451

lol

>>16442446

this happened to me a lot. not just my mom, but my dad, my brothers (i always puke after these ones) and even my boss.

im not sure what i can suggest other then trying to distract yourself so you don't dwell. unless you wanna go to thereapy, but i feel like there isn't really a cure there and it will just make you think about the issues more and cause you to have more dreams.

simply ignoring them and not dwelling makes your brain forget for the most part. its worked for me so far now i only occassionally dream of my father or older brother, but even then very rarely and i am able to forget it as soon as i wake up

>talking with his ex
>no one knows we're in a relationship
There's no way there's nothing shady going on here

How about talking to him about it?

>>16442438
> this girl who was his ex
First mistake
>(they're "close" friends
second mistake
> she's having some personal problems atm, her father died, and she reached out to my boyfriend for comfort.
third mistake
Yeah I would be concerned.

Take it slow. Get her wet. Eat her out. Get a finger in there. Then as days go on get more until she's ready for your dick. Then go slow and let her get used to it. Just work your way there. The only way it's going to loosen is if it gets something in there.

Just take your time and explore. It's okay to talk and communicate and laugh through foreplay. Help each other learn. Not much to it. Just keep fooling around.

>>16442407
Where did you manage to find a 25 year old virgin?

How are you both virgins? You aren't fat and ugly are you?

>>16442423
The world isn't as black and white as you think anon.

Also she's 27 if you read the OP correctly.

>>16442362

Nothing. You're a 35 year old male dating an 18 year old girl. Society hates you.

They're just butthurt of that prime pussy you got. Stay with her op

>>16442362
You don't. You wait for the inevitable breakup and the "I told you so"s

Yes, but it merely means that you've got a chance, not 100% certainty.

On another note, do I know you?

Stealing girls aint cool OP. Make sure they're broken up before you do some bad shit

If she wanted to date you, she'd be dating you

>>16442298
You become a lesbian.

>>16442303
I'm equally scared of lesbians.

>>16442306
Become a NEET and never talk to anyone.

>>16442180
depends on her skill and ability in the sack. i would take the mildly attractive over the other if she were more fun to fuck.

>>16442180
Attractiveness is mostly subjective. However, based on my experience, making love to a more attractive woman causes me to reach orgasm faster. Other than that, I can't really think of anything significant.

>>16442180
Pussy is pussy is pussy

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>>16442150

>>16442150
I think that in order to be successful in art school, you need to find a way to express your art in a way that is useful to others. Graphic design, illustrating books (especially for children), animation, murals, tattoos, fashion, etc. Your canvas needs to be versatile..

My sister is currently in a similar position. She draws beautiful realism and cartoons. She found a job in graphic design for a fashion company. However, this job is only to draw what other people want. But it is how she gets paid. Getting paid for original pieces isn't likely, but if you are able to give people what they want, you will be more successful.

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>>16442150

Art school alumni here.

It all depends on what you want out of it. Do you want to really examine yourself as an artist, as well as expose yourself to new ideas and examples of art? Then go to art school.

Do you want to become a famous artist? Do you want to get better at art? Do you feel like you just don't fit in anywhere else? Then DO NOT go to art school.

Art school is VERY expensive, and it does not teach you how to make money in the art world. It doesn't set you up for interpersonal interactions and how to market yourself. It can be a lazy and confusing place if you aren't already an explorative, self-sufficient person.

I had to rely on my own wits during and after school. The only thing I truly owe art school is that it forced me to think creatively, and approach problems in a unique way. Past that, it's up to you.

If you are poor, forget going straight to art school. Go to community college, get your GE out the way for cheap, and try to link up with people who work at galleries. Just get into an art-related social circle and see what makes it tick before you invest money you do not have into something that may not work for you.

>>16442119
Journey inward. Travel if that's what you're into. Find yourself. Treat yourself.

>>16442126
I hate travelling. What does the rest of that mean?

>>16442119
Nothing. Just wait to die pretty much.

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>>16442081

Fuck other girls.
Set goal. in your personal life and accomplish them.
Realize that for the most part, this bitch ain't shit. I mean what can she do that 90% of other girls can't?
Focus on yourself.

>>16442089
>Fuck other girls.

I have no other girls bro. I put all of my eggs into this one basket. I have goals that I was accomplishing fine just three days ago but now I don't even feel like leaving my bed. I felt like puking yesterday night.

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>>16442098

>I have no other girls bro
Go out there and get them. It's gonna be hard because you smell like you got dumped, but you gotta get out there and get laid. Fuck a girl below your usual standards. All girls can smell vagina on a man. The more girls you fuck, the more girls will want to fuck you because they can smell all the sex you've been having.

After you've fucked 5+ girls and moved into the more attractive range, I swear you will love your ex a little less. I was crushed by the last girl that dumped me... I've fucked 26 other girls since and I simply do not care about her anymore.

You gotta leave your bed. No matter how you feel inside, you gotta get up, shower, do some pushups, fake a smile and go fuck ANY girl you can in the next 24 hours. You can do it bro.

probably just a zit. relax.

>>16442055
I'm soooo freaked out that it's something really serious thank you for putting my fears to rest

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>>16442061
He's fucking with you, it could be herpes. If you're developing a sore it's going to be infectious until the outbreak dies down. If it is herpes you'll want to wear a glove until the sores start to heal, otherwise it will spread by contact. Hypothetically since it would be your first outbreak it would be very small.

>>16442006
Lose weight

>>16442008

/thread

>>16442006
depends what you've already tried to be honest.
1) Talk to guys. most of them will be up for some unless you're physically (or intellectually) repulsive.
2) Once you've got a group that you can comfortably hang around with, try being subtley more flirty than usual with one of them. They'll love that (providing you fit the criteria above)
3) eventually ask one of them out. They'll be thinking something along similar lines and the girl showing the initiative is the barrier that's usually holding them back from asking you out.
4a) it's worked, gg, wp, gl, OR
4b) he's rejected you, either 'cause you came on too strong, he's with someone else already, or he's just not interested. Rinse and repeat steps 1 through 3 until step 4a occurs

>>16441951
delete

>>16441953
Its really hard to... Especialy because i see she still looks at all my snapchat stories, which is my only contact with her anymore...

Can i just try and not use the apps and keep them around just in case?

Im just afraid if i give her NO way to contact me ever.

>>16441971
Just move on, there are 9 million bitches just like her.