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I wasn't able to socialise a lot around ages 8-18 thanks to a disability and being sick all the time. I came to resent the word 'nice'. Everyone described me as 'nice', but that just meant I wasn't funny, charismatic, outgoing, loyal etc. I was just 'nice', nobody wanted to be friends with someone who was just 'nice'. That's just me though. The only real social rules I abide by are to be kind to people and not be offensive. It means I'm not the loudest or most noticeable person in a room, but I like to think that people know where to come for a pleasant chat and someone who always remembers stuff about them.
Fast forward to last weekend. I have friends, a boyfriend and a few years of social experience and development behind my back. It was my friend's birthday and everyone in the guest list had an awesome nickname assigned to them. My stomach practically hurt with excitement to find out my name.
'No Name'. My nickname was 'No Name'. They said they couldn't think of one for me so they just gave up. Over four years of friendship and there was not one memorable thing about me.
My boyfriend went into full damage control. "You don't have a nickname because you're too nice". There it is again - nice. Boring. Bland. Uninteresting. Insignificant.
Can being 'nice' really get me through life? Are there any people in friendship groups that're just 'nice' and lack any other qualities? I don't make a significant impression on anyone, I'm not funny, I'm not memorable and nobody would notice if I were not in a room. I can already feel myself just being known as 'the girlfriend of a really funny and cool guy', nothing else. I just feel like garbage.
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I can relate a lot. Unlike you around 8-18 were my most sociable times and afterwards I got real quiet. I dont know what to tell you cause I still deal with it everyday and unfortunately I dont have a single friend anymore.
Its not that I'm a downer, but I, like you am reserved. I keep holding out hoping to meet some real friends with out changing much about me.
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>>16444953
I'm really sorry to hear that. I keep trying to look on the bright side that I do get invited to things and that I have a boyfriend, but I do get paranoid that I'm only invited because I'm on my boyfriend's arm. My lack of ability to impact anyone's life makes me paranoid as hell about going out and making friends.
It's just been a big blow to my confidence. 'Nice' was always my demon, now I don't even have anything apparently. There's nothing that makes me 'me'.
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>>16444955
I guess maybe you could try initiating conversation more. Its something you could practice and learn just to get people to open up and trust you more.
I'm not hyper and thats ok, but I think it hurts me social that i stay on sidelines too much.
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How do i get over something very small my girlfriend did in the past?
She says she flashed and played with her boobs to a stranger on omegle.
This shit bugs the hell out of me, i can't stop thinking about it. I hate that she did it and i know it's in the past but it bugs me she did this for another guy. I think about it and wonder how it happened to the point of feeling like a kek, i'd never let my girlfriend sleep or do anything with another guy, but i want to know exactly what happened and how. Is this normal?
How do i just accept my girlfriend did this shit in the past and that's that? I see so many guys with girlfriends that have fucked 20+ men and the boyfriend won't even give a shit. How do i stop caring about this one small instance and why do i keep trying to figure out every detail of what happened, then jerking it to pictures of her flashing her boobs for me imagining how she did it for this random stranger?
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>>16444943
There is nothing to accept, ditch the cunt.
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>>16444943
This is a no bullshit answer, and if anyone argues with what I'm about to tell you, they will never be fully interested in embracing all aspects of a true commitment.
Listen very carefully.
Your girlfriend is a sexual being. Her sexuality is her own. She shares it with whom ever she wants. Consider yourself lucky that she only wants to share it with you. Treasure this, be the best that you can be in order to deserve her exclusivity to you.
>it bugs me she did this for another guy
She didn't. She did it for herself. She just used the other guy as a toy for her own psycho-sexual pleasure. Learn how to fall in love with the fact that she did this for herself and her own sexuality.
>Is this normal?
Yes, for insecure betafags. Climb above this and celebrate the fact that your girlfriend is blessed with being in touch with her own sexuality.
>still not sure how this works?
Ask me anything.
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>>16444964
Just fuck off with your progressive mentality.
Anonymous
How close is too close when you're practicing abstinence? 2015-11-09 14:26:55 Post No.16444933
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How close is too close when you're practicing abstinence? 2015-11-09 14:26:55 Post No.16444933
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How close is too close when you're practicing abstinence?
Anonymous
2015-11-09 14:26:55
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This story has too many details to write in one post, so I'm just giving the nitty gritty:
Me and my girlfriend have been together for nearly three years. We've lived together for the last two.
Around 3 months ago, my girlfriend (a Catholic) starts a conversation in bed about wanting to practice abstinence until marriage. Up until that point we had been having sex at least once a week. I agreed after we talked about it further.
Since then I've been fine, trying to stay true to the decision we made. This weekend she became overly physical though, essentially asking and telling me that she needed to make out and dry hump. I tried but felt very awkward considering it was her idea to practice abstinence, yet she was fine walking the line just next to us fucking.
I explained this to her, and she got fairly upset.
I'm just confused.
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>>16444933
She thought she could make it, she was wrong. it was a stupid idea, be glad it's over.
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your relationship is more fucked than mine. uhhh, that sounds like a whole lotta bullshit. like everything about that story is fucked.
sounds like she cheated on you, then the guy she was cheating with blew her off so she came back to you and was mad when you refused.
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>>16444941
refrain from giving relationship advice, please
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Please help me save my marriage.
My husband's friend who recently lost his job and apartment is sleeping on our couch for a week and I did something stupid. I think he was trying to seduce me.
Every morning my husband goes out to work at 8 something AM and I'm always sleeping, I wake up around 10 and his friend is still sleeping in the couch. Every morning after I woke up and walked by on the way to the kitchen he was sleeping shirtless and with just light boxer shorts with a huge erection. Every morning. I asked my husband if he saw anything weird before going to work and he said not, so in retrospect he must've done it in purpose for me to see it.
Yesterday I walked by as normal and he was sleeping completely naked. I stood by and watched him for a bit. I don't know why. I think he noticed it. I went to the kitchen and a few minutes later he came after me. We had sex twice yesterday. It was a mistake. I was just on the verge of exploding and felt like I had to do it. Today he was sleeping normally with the blanket on so I guess he got what he wanted.
Is there any way for this to not ruin my marriage? I feel like I was coerced without really wanting to.
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>>16444917
> I was just on the verge of exploding and felt like I had to do it
>I feel like I was coerced without really wanting to.
pick one you fucking whore.
Your husband is a fucking C U C K
you are a dumb cunt that don't deserve to be loved.
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Confess to your husband and invest in a chastity belt.
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>>16444917
>I feel like I was coerced without really wanting to.
so if I were to just show you my dick, you'd feel obligated to start sucking and fucking it?
gtfo!
Damage report:
Op pic related. Do these words mean that's she's 100% no longer interested?
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>I might date somebody lol, but if I don't find someone we can still be a thing I guess.
Drop it like it's hot.
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>>16444821
So leave it huh
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>>16444822
We're the /adv/ board, not the "tell you what to do" board. You have better perspective here than anyone else.
But from our limited scope, it seems like you're being used like a chump.
I'm a girl and I like futanaris, what the fuck is wrong with me? Girly guys are a turnoff, I like my men masculine and manly but when it comes to futa porn...
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You have a fetish. Nothing wrong with that.
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>>16444783
It's just a fetish, OP. Futas are basically fictional beings.
I'm a guy and I love futanari as well, but trannies disgust me.
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>>16444783
I'm a dude and I like traps and shemales and trans folk, but hate dude shape. Its a kink, aint nothin wrong with your sexuality or mine. Im just a little curious about dick too beb.
Anonymous
Which job market is NOT saturated? 2015-11-09 12:25:31 Post No.16444777
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Which job market is NOT saturated? 2015-11-09 12:25:31 Post No.16444777
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Which job market is NOT saturated?
Anonymous
2015-11-09 12:25:31
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>>16444777
Teachers? Low pay, low social status, high stress, long hours. (excluding Scandinavian areas)
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>>16444777
>unchecked double trips
Engineering, for now.
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City firefighters and city cops to be honest. The civil service process weeds out 90% of the shitbags because it's always done through an outside agency. And those that have an "in the know" are only brought in once they go through the process like anyone else.
Of course shitbags always get through, but it's in any field. Obviously, you have to have the stones for it.
source: Been a city firefighter for a year now.
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Feeling a bit lost, /adv/, need some help.
I've been in a couple relationships, so not exactly a complete retard when it comes to this.
The one I'm in now is giving me some trouble, though.
It feels like the best one yet. We connect on every way and everything seems to be perfect...
Up until we get stumped at "sexual compatibility".
She's the best woman I've met so far...
And a 22 year old virgin at that.
She is extremely prude and shy about anything intimate, however, she's not exactly the "no sex until marriage" bullshit type or an asexual.
And that's what confuses me the most. She seems to be "somewhat" really into it, up until the point when I start touching her more intimately.
I go under the shirt, she seizes up. Rock tight.
Starts rubbing her feet together, eyes closed and you can just see the uneasiness and stress on the face.
And I can just feel how uncomfortable she gets.
I've tried it slow, I've tried it easy, to no avail.
She gets so extremely uncomfortable, I start to feel really bad about it. She doesn't really say a blunt "no" either, but she clearly doesn't feel good about it, so I just stand off, because it starts to feel really "rape-y" and try to talk with her.
She says that the intimacy really scares her and she's not used to be this close.
I tell her that I respect that and give her some space afterwards, we just end up pretty much spooning. We've ended up twice like this over the past 2 months.
So now today she came over and I was really into her. All was good, even got to take off her shirt and kiss her body a couple of times, only to get stumped hard again. Out of nowhere she got somewhat emotional, hid her face and looked like she was about to cry, so I immediately stopped.
I felt so horrible and guilty.
cont.
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cont.
We talked about it and she couldn't really explain anything what she feels.
One point she brought up was that she's scared that she can't suffice my desires.
She thinks I'm sexually very active and needing, which is true, obviously, I'm a man and I can't live in celibacy, I need some sexual intimacy, I can't curb my lust just like that, especially if she has an amazing body like she does.
It feels to me that she is scared of being close, physically, but she denies it. I ask her if she feels bad about me, which she immediately denies again. I ask her what is it, she says she doesn't know. She just can't give me anything to work on and this just tears me up inside. Makes me feel lost and empty.
She asks me if I've dreamed of sex with her. I say yes, all the time. She tells me she's never, ever even dreamed of it with anyone. She never really has sexual desires or lust for anything ever, really.
Clearly her libido is non existant, while mine is off the charts.
I've no idea what to do.
We've known each other for months, almost half a year and I'm still being blueballed hard. Normally I'd move on, because of heavy incompatibility, but the relationship has been feeling so amazing on every single other front.
Does anyone have experience with something like this?
Would the best course of action be just moving on? I can already tell that many of you will say "just talk to her", but I've no idea what to say. We sat down today, looking at each other; normally I am good at expressing myself, but this time I just had a complete tumbleweed in my mind. Empty. I've no idea what points to bring up with her, what to say, what to ask.
Her avoiding the topic so much doesn't give my any clarity either. It's just hard to find an anchor.
Sorry for the lengthy post.
tl; dr
gf has extremely low libido and is absolutely terrified of sexual intimacy to the point of mentally and physically seizing up like a stone
she can't talk about it, I don't know what to do, I really like her
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My best advice to you would be communicate when you start kissing ask her if you can take her shirt off or kiss her in certain spots and just explain that she's under no pressure to say yes and you can stop at anytime.
Let her feel like she's in control of the situation as best as possible so she's feels most comfortable and maybe talk about trying to take small steps.
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>>16444775
She may be afraid of her sexual desires. Sometimes a bad experience or even religious indoctrination can do that to you.
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Why the fuck are women so weird? My girlfriend just suddenly became silent. I asked what's wrong and she said she doesn't want to talk about it now. I looked her in the eyes and she popped a couple tears. I asked did I do something, and she said "well yeah, kind off..." I told her she can tell me anything but she just said "no I don't really want to talk about it now". We just sat silently for 10 minutes, and she was clearly crying. She went to the toilet (probably to dry her eyes) and came back and was still silent. I tried asking her stuff like "is it because.../does it have something to do with..." etc. and I went through like everything we've being doing recently and she just said "no" to everything. Then she said "sorry but I don't want to see you right now" and then went home. I just told her that if she want's to explain what I did she can message me when she wants. She said "well okay but I probably wont be in that mood for the rest of this day". We haven't been in contact after that. I literally have no idea what have I done and I'm scared I'm going to get dumped.
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My question is what should I do?
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Don't fall for her bullshit. This sounds like some sort of shit test, don't become a pussy over this, don't call her, wait for her to do so. If she has something to say, she's supposed to speak up, if not she can fuck off and refrain from annoying you with her bullshit.
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>well yeah kind of
Might mean you did something but it wasnt necessarily a bad thing, but she took it the wrong way. Perhaps she's a sensitive one.
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Would you back down on a relationship if you found out your partner had a rhinoplasty (a.k.a. nose job)?
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>>16444735
Not that big of a deal.
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No but if I met someone and they were like look at my nose job in would likely not pursue them with any special effort. I think plastic surgery is unattractive but I wouldn't kick someone out of bed for it.
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>>16444740
I don't think people usually call attention to their cosmetics surgeries anon
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Hello guys. I'll try to keep it short. So it's been 6 months since my ex broke up with me. Since then i can't fucking pick myself up. No day comes without me thinking about her in some way. Whenever it comes i keep thinking about all the bad stuff and how she played me for a fool, but it doesn't work. I know i should move on (i suggested that to alot in here to other people), but at this point i have no clue what to do. I'm not contacting her at all, trying to live my life but i feel like my self-esteem went to the shitter. Every day is a struggle, and my friends just had enough of that shit. I have no idea where to go, what to do. I thought something like that would never phase me, but i really can't figure it out myself. I won't be posting the whole story in this post, since it is really long. If you want me to, then just ask in a responce, i'll try to keep it simple. Could somebody just try to hear me out and help me see what i'm doing wrong?
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You probably just need more time. That and go out at every opportunity, get a new hobby, do some self improvement like exercise or learn something.
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>>16444696
I am going out alot, found myself a new job but i still can't go on. Came back to swimming, lost 10 kilos, tried going back to gaming, nothing helps. Simply put i've rebuild my life from the scratch, but i am still hung up upon all this stuff. I can go do those things and i'm fine, but whenever i'm alone all this hits me like a train.
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>>16444694
Hello OP, I think I can relate quite a bit
My gf dumped me for some other dude after I had a rough few months during our 4-5 years of being together.
It took me about a month to stop contacting her at all (angry emails etc), about 4 months for the short panic attacks to stop while I was at work, and about 8-10 months in total to be back on track for the most part
Sadly, for some people, it takes a lot of time
To speed up the process, you can try what most people try (and it sort of worked for me after a while as well)
- new hobbies / get more into the ones you like (playing guitar helped a bunch and I even recorded some things because of it)
- learn something - keep your brain occupied with productive things that you like
- go out alone - really; it'll feel horrible the first 2-3 times, but it's a huge relief when you can just go to a movie by yourself, at a small cinema, and not worry about anything
- close friends might help, if you try to dose out your rants/complaints about the horrible way you feel
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wonder about y'alls opinion about this: 20 yr old seeing a 16 yr old. how bad is that
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Peods should be line up and shot once in the fucking dick then an hour later once in the head.
20 seeking anything <18 is fucked up
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Medium bad. That's over the age of consent most places, four years isn't that much in the scheme of things, no one would judge a 24 year old with a 20 year old or a 28 year old. But you'd have to be stupid to date a 16 year old in high school.
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>>16444691
we're talking theoretically here. thanks for sharing though.
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>be me
>17y/o NEET
>slowly losing interest in everything I've ever enjoyed
>diagnosed with major depression, but dealing with it alright
2 years down the track;
>still a NEET
>depression has worsened
>all interests have completely subsided
>only thing I'm good at is singing, which I can no longer do due to an injury
>ahh well, wasn't that good anyway
>thinking about offing myself more and more with each passing day
What do I do, /adv/?
I've got no marketable skills, no interests to pursue, and I've lost count of the amount of times my counselor has tried to teach me mindfulness.
I'd get a job, but I have no qualifications, and any available labour work in my area is off-limits due to my previously mentioned injury.
I have no money and am living off my parents like a giant bearded leech.
So I ask you, /adv/; what do I do to fix my life?
Pic unrelated.
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Go outside and have the confidence to talk to people. Order something on the internet. Play a new game. There's still a bunch to do..
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Shit dude, you're 17, just apply to a mcdonalds or some shit. Nobody hiring expects a 17 year old to be an expert an anything
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>>16444546
Dude i think everybody here went through that at your age.
/adv/ am I wrong for choosing to browse 4chan over having sex?
Tonight a girl that I've been talking to on Tinder for the past 2 months literally asked for sex. She told me she was all alone at her apartment and couldn't sleep, and asked if I wanted to meet. I said no and she actually got pissy with me. I didn't feel like driving 15min to her town and doing it. I don't understand why it's such a big deal that I didn't want to. If i would have asked a girl that and if she gave the same respone it would be seemed as "typical". So why is it such a big deal if a guy turns down sex? If I wanted to get off I could just search /b/ for a porn webm thread. Sheesh.
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>>16444446
gr8 b8 m8
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>>16444456
Well it's not bait. I'm really asking.
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>>16444446
Why'd you even bother talking to a girl on Tinder if you didn't want to have sex?
Help. Read picture. Just posted this on Facebook. Posting it here for a larger audience.
Please... What happens to other people who are mentally retarded and no one wants to, or can, take care of them? Is it true that institutions still beat patients? Help
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They get institutionalized. If you call the cops and he's out of control, they take him to the nearest mental health center.
I have no idea why you think he's going to get beaten more at a mental health facility.
Call 911 and give them your address, explain the situation. You'll have to give your name.
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>>16444425
>I was he was just aborted.
Thanks that would make a psychologist same "hmmmmmmm".
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>>16444447
Oh sorry I didn't clarify. Mo mom beats my autistic brother every day to the point were if you approach him, he'll do the thing like prepare to get hit again. Like hell shift his body or move his arm to cover his face.
And she just makes him sit and watch TV all day. No one goes out to do anything with him. No one wants him. Father doesn't give a shit either