Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 6371. page

pls respond, is my life fucked or can i move on with this hard lesson learned

last bump

Where do you live? Answer will be dependent on employment law in your country.

>>16689247
Accept it as your baseline in life.

>>16689247
Just be yourself

>>16689247

psychologically condition your brain to enjoy life.

first and foremost:
do you actually have a reason to be depressed? or does the normal wave of life make you feel depressed?

if you have reasons to be depressed, write them down. if your list looks like this
>no gf
>no best friends
>no money

than you are already on the wrong track. the most you can really ask for in terms of money is enough to not be stressing out all the fucking time about what you're going to do next. a gf will not make you happier, and you can't predicate happiness on some stranger coming into your life and making it enjoyable. so get that notion out of your head. friends are in the same category.

Moving on, for the most part people are actually only depressed because they are edgy. they didnt mean to, but they psychologically trained themselves to simply be unimpressed by daily life events and can only experience joy when its an extreme high. this happens a lot because of instant gratification of simple video games and the like.

so first, make a list of what depresses you, and cut it out of your life. its never easy. its often hard. sometimes its going to lead to more sorrow. but a lot of sorrow now by cutting off somethign that makes you miserable can lead to a life time of happiness once you finally get over it. staying in a relationship with ANYONE just because you are already in that relationship (whether its familial, romantic, or platonic) is a stupid idea. life is meant for you to go out and meet new people and form new bonds and grow from one another, then moving on when you've done all you could. if there are people in your life holding you back, cut them off. if there is SOMETHING in your life holding you back, cut IT off

>>16689216
suck some dick

>>16689216
Go somewhere else to study, like a coffee shop or library.

>>16689216

decide what is more important, gaming or your studies. then build your life around what is more important.

imo people put too much emphasis on getting a career they dont really want. its not that hard to make it in the world and live a reasonably comfortable life that suits your hobbies.

that being said, lets operate under the assumption that you are going to want to continue studying.

here is what you do
>make a list of everything you need to do school wise
>divide it by what needs to be done that specific day
>its its generic 'study' time, set out a certain amount of time you want to adhere to

then you just do it. you can play video games / hang out with friends / other leisure activities only when you complete your daily tasks. have a check list and mark things off as you go.

>BUT ACTUALLY DOING WHAT I NEED TO DO IS HARD CUZ I CAN JUST WALK OVER TO MY COMPUTER AND CLICK A BUTTON

if this is your outlook about the situation then youa re fucked. no amount of advice we can give you will help cuz even saying something like 'delete the games; will lead to you saying 'THAT WONT WORK CUZ I CAN JUST REINSTALL THEM'

you have to have a human level of accountability here if you want this to work at fucking all.

the best things i can offer is
>make the checklist
>adhere to it
>Reward yourself only when its been completed
>try and use a buddy system to make sure you dont sneak away (re: roommates / parents dictating when you can or cant play video games).

>>16689205
You read books ON your phone

Drown yourself in the closest body of water you illiterate finkrat

>>16689205

>not just playing with dinosaurs all day

are you not allowed to bring in a real book? if not why are you allowed to read your cell phone all day but not a book? are you not allowed to bring anything in? its a desk jkob that doesnt get a whole lot of action so generally employers are comfortable with you having something to do inbetween random people coming up to you.

>>16689211
Is the only thing I can do. This place is a vacation complex far away from cities. No good internet, no books, phone only, final destination. Besides, my boss is gonna tell me something if he see me reading books in the job, but using your phone its something everyone does.

>>16689165
The mental institution will help you get your shit together.

Partially because it sucks so much that it will make you realize that each day is precious and your were wasting your life away.

But you need a serious wake up call like that, so don't fight it.
If you are able to just flip a switch and kick your ass in to motivation mode because of fear then you didn't really have depression in the first place

> above average intelligence
Then don't do medication, we need people like you, and some medication has the potential to fuck you up!

>>16689165
make sure you take some 'innocents' with you

I actually don't think it would bother me if my girlfriend wanted to do that. Who cares as long as she's with you and isn't hooking up with other dudes?

If she was going off WITHOUT you and doing this, then I would be upset.

Tell her?

>>16689058
Just draw a line.
Say "I'm not comfortable with that, I feel like it would be you standing naked in front of a bunch of guys"

It's okay to draw lines like this in the relationship. You're not "being controlling" if she's free to end the relationship and wear pasties whenever she wants.
Just tell her that it's not something you're comfortable with. If she agrees to not wear them and then goes behind your back, treat it like a cheating case.

17 Is definitely old enough to establish those kinds of patterns. It's not about whether she's likely to do it but whether she can. She crossed the threshold at 17 which means she definitely has the capacity to do it and will cheat if given the chance. No mercy OP, get out of there. Or enjoy it while it lasts and don't get caught off guard when she cheats. But it will always be lingering over you're head. If she's out late or vague about something she's doing you'll always wonder if she's cheating. You won't be able to fully trust her.

>>16689054

Once a cheater, always a cheater.

>>16689054

its only ever your second relationship, so why worry about it? some people cheat once and never do again. some people never cheated but one day do. most people cheat here or there because of the context of the situation.

while redflags are definitely a good idea to keep in mind, i think its more healthy for you to realize that no relationship can have a as much trust as your romantic brain wants there to be.

of all the human relationships, romance is the most fragile. if it doesnt crash in burn in a fiery passionate blaze, then it slowly fizzles out til one day you come home and find all your gfs stuff has been packed up.

this isn't me being edgy or pessimistic, this is just the general nature of romance. is fleeting. traditional marriages end up being more like siblings who fuck then actual romances. it was man picking out a partner to take care of their house and kids for them. it was a woman looking for someone to provide a comfortable existence for them. and like with your own parents or siblings, there was nothing you could do about it once you made that choice, you just waited it out and made the best of it.

now everyones under the impression that they have to be truly madly deeply in love with their partner and have all this trust and BS. why trust anyone? not that much. you can still date someone and enjoy the moment and be truly passionate wihtout thinking 'yay i finally met someone who is never going to cheat on me and this will definitely last forever'. especially not at the age of 20.

my advice, date her, do what you do in a relationship, and when the end comes the end comes.

Get a new girlfriend, thats what i did when i was heartaching over ex. New gf was more attractive and nicer to me, literally forgot about ex the day i had sex with new gf.

>>16689005
But love would be meaningless then. How can I love somebody again? It just doesn't make any sense. I got some after we broke up but at the end it didn't help any.

I just want to forget her and get some occasional fuck. I don't think I can love ever again.

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>>16689013
"what about your first love huh, she played it cold didn't she. Made a nigga shed a tear and she changed a nigga. Now we fucked'em and duck'em, never trust'em or love'em." -some nigger

>>16688954
Ыoy цoyлд aлшaыc тpы мacтypбaтинг тo мидгeт пopн. Maыбe ыoy цoyлд гo poб a лияyиop cтope.

Work out

>>16688954
Coдoмизe ыoypceлф шитч a pycты фиcчинг книфe oн нaтиoнaл тeлeвиcиoн ЛOЛ

>>16688935
Just say you got tested and have no STD.

Doesnt matter if its cause of your load, just lie and tell her she got nothing on you then proceed to ignore.

Told her I'd pay half of it be use I felt bad, but she's hardcore blame gaming and calling me names /claiming I took advantage of her.

She drank 1 beers worth of margarita before I seduced her into fucking, after she said "I don't wanna have sex but ooh ur making me wanna have sex"
Next day, she was all "omg lets do it again sometime".
She talked to ex (only other boy she's fucked) he fucked her, convinced her I took advantage, and now she's trying to be a feminazi rape cryer too.
Oh, did I mention I met her in a women's studies class? Stupid me

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I got all sad because I was studying religions and felt like god smited me and that I'd had dormant chlamydia at first, until I saw BOTH our test results...
Fuck religion man, it's just more guilt. Get out while u can unless ur poor and need a place to live or have a family to network/support.

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>>16688913
Second woman

Also, the first one is actually fatter despite the appearances. The first one has huge tits, second one a huge ass

Both are ghetto shit but second is better cause she isn't as fat. What good is a big ass it it's lumpy shit.

>>16688922
I'd go with big tits, even if ghetto

Дa, этa cкaзaлa ты гoлoвoй

>>16688894
Have you heard of google?

>>16688923
Yeah but I can't translate it my friend. I don't have a russian keyboard

>>16688726
Let your pee pee do the talking

Is she ugly or attractive? Either way she has a crush on you, to stop her from doing this shit just talk to her after class, "Hey i noticed you keep looking at me, do you have an issue with me?" then when she says w/e say "I'd appreciate it if you stopped looking at me, im not interested"

Done.

>>16688741
Physically attractive, but not someone I'd get involved with. She's known for sleeping with anyone and partying often, not at all my kind of thing - rather she's pretty much the opposite.

Humans are resilient animals. You can either live, or die. That's your prerogative.

Do all that and then kill yourself.

Here's a new one to your list. Meditate. My life is much better since I start meditating. Just sit for 20 min alone with eyes close trying not to think in anything, slay every though that comes to your head. Its not a hippie karma chakra energy bullshit. Its a mind excercise about discipline.

I was hoping there would be some kind of general for mental health issues. I want to go to the doctor to find out if I'm crazy, but I'm scared for a couple of reasons.

>>16688701
I had been browsing 4chan for a while and
/adv/ seemed actually beneficial to my daily life.

Here my question:
How do you keep motivated to study and work hard even though you are a chronic procrastinator?

>>16688716
Have you ever tried a hotline? They obviously don't solve your problems completely but they can give you good advice and set you on the right track.