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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 5952. page

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How do you cope with knowing you were used, but being unable to do anything about it because it put you in a position that could easily lead to you being blackmailed?

Stories about being manipulated and how you got over it?
13 posts and 2 images submitted.
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bamp
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>>16902220
Have you tried Alcohol?
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>>16902250
I'm out.

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Here's the situation, guys.

There is a girl I want to be romantically involved with. There are significant pros and cons to her that I will list so I don't have to type out some story.

Pros:
Kind, caring, overly supportive
Politically/socially/spiritually aligned with me
Understanding and "gets" me
Interested in business like I am
Reads a lot
Very smart

Cons:
Has two kids (that are surprisingly very well-behaved)
Is about five years older than me
Smokes occasionally
Slight emotional trauma due to ex (baby daddy)
Not a 10/10 for me physically (but still someone I enjoy sexually)
Sort of a tramp

We have been talking about getting serious for a while, but it is a strange situation because I have always lived in extreme wealth and affluence while she has always lived in extreme poverty. She has a fractured family while mine is very close and stable. She has had a very dark past while mine has been very smooth. I feel like we can be compatible, she is very smart academically and she is getting better about being mature and putting her life back on track. However the situation with her kids has me on guard, and I don't honestly know if I want to be with someone with that much baggage. Can anyone give me any guidance?
11 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Unless you're willing to make sacrifices, it's not going to work. She has everything to gain by being with you and you have a lot to lose. If your status is more important to you, don't do it.
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>>16902233
My status is important, btu we talk about this a lot. She is willing to do whatever to support me if we are serious.
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Getting with a single mother is one of the worst decisions you will ever make

>always be second, third, or fourth in her life
>when it comes down to it your feelings don't mean shit
>You are on the sidelines watching a family, you aren't a family
>no matter how shitty the kids are you will never be there dad and can never tell them what to do

Single parents should date other single parents

That being said, if you can deal with all of this without any resentment by all means go for it

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Been seeing this girl for 2 years. She is in a relationship with her kids father. Her family loves him to the point that they have all but said they would support him if she broke up with him and he wanted the kids. They haven't had sex or even slept in the same room for over a year.

He has openly said he doesn't love her, but no matter what she does, he won't leave. She is afraid that if she breaks up with him or he finds out about us, he will make a play for the kids and her family will support him because they are assholes.

Any ideas on how to get this asshole to bail? He only wants the kids because he thinks it's keeping her with him. Really fucked situation.
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>16902207
Suck his dick
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What a wierd situation. You said they are in a relationship, then you say they haven't slept together in a year and he doesn't love her.

Either they are in a relationship or not, and it seems that they are not but the guy won't leave. If he doesn't love her, they are not fucking, why would he stay? This is weird.
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He says he wants to "be a dad" but has said during arguments that if she left, he's taking the kids. Even after that, he doesn't do anything for the kids. It's almost like he just doesn't want her to leave even if he isn't getting anything out of it. Don't know if it's low self esteem or just spite.

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How do you let an autist know you like him?

My co-worker's friend is really cute and smart but I feel like conventional methods won't work with him. He almost never smiles, speaks in monotone, hates being touched by strangers, and likes big words.
12 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>16902161
Gently whisper in his ear "Jet fuel can't melt steel beams"
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>>16902165
that just might work
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>>16902240
It'd work on me

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Hey /adv/, I don't usually do this sort of thing, I'm strong minded and like to solve my own problems. I've been in relationships before but the feelings have never been this strong.

>be in love with girl (best friend) who has bf (I know, top choice...)
>admit feelings
>feelings are returned but not ready to break up with bf
>last few days of college
>things get intense
>sex.png
>return home for 2months (from another town)
>talk everyday to begin with
>drops off to next to nothing after first month
>met new friend
>happy for her, etc
>talks about friend a lot, hang out heaps as well
>return to college
>recently broke up with bf
>don't want to be that guy so ask how it is between us
>"not ready for relationship anon"
>"still have feelings for you"
>I ask about the friend
>"friend is kinda, sorta more than friend"
>feel lied to because "not ready for a relationship", she knows I feel this way
>3 weeks later
>she brings up friend as "just friend"
>still hangs out with him whenever possible
>sends pictures of his dog in his room at obscure hours
>does everything with friend that she would do with ex bf, except sex apparently
>hurts to be around her, hurts to not be around her

Thanks for reading, any advice would be great.
3 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>16902116
she isnt romantically or sexually interested in you. the sooner you accept this the less pain you are in for.
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>>16902116

>having a slut as your best friend
>encouraging cheating
>orbiting
>thinking youre special
>not paying attention to "if she does it to him she will do it to you"

Nah faggot you earned this, get wrekt

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I recently moved (legally) from a third world country to USA, and was wondering how could I improve my life? I am currently attending a Community College for Cybersecurity (I actually wanted CS, but this is what they have available) and really wanted some advice on what I should do next. Keep studying and try to enter an University? Get a job after you graduate (would be willing to do anything above minimum wage, to be honest)? What would you do if you were in my place?
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>16902093
>would be willing to do anything above minimum wage, to be honest

You have to go back
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Become an Internet PI and start your own business after you graduate.
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Look for a university that accepts transfer credits from your community college. Like look class to class and find out which credits transfer.

Do as many of the general education classes (math, English, sciences, etc) that transfer as you can.

You can probably get a job pretty easy if the language you spoke in your shitty foreign country is useful here, like Spanish... Just be sure to emphasize being fluent in both English and the shit speak language.

Continue working and going to the community college. Do very well in your classes, maintain a 4.0 (or 5.0 if it is some shit tier school that doesn't use 4.0). Might help you to get some scholarships or something.

After you have some savings and are stable, transfer to the real university and take all your general education credits with you.

Most US universities waste two years of your life and tens of thousands of dollars on "general education" which is just high school over again... So doing them at the community college for pennies on the dollar saves a lot of time and money.

Jump straight into your program and do the few remaining GE classes you have... Graduate with a BS in whatever IT major you chose.

Make life your bitch.

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>chick disables WhatsApp's "last seen" feature
>as a result, she doesn't know whena anyone else has been online
>I'm legitimately away from my phone
>she thinks I'm ignoring her
>because of the settings she fucking disabled herself

Guys...

Help.
2 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>16902083
Help with what? Tell her you were away and to be cool. If she isn't being cool after you explain the settings thing then tell her she's being real uncool.

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I'll keep a long story very short.
I broke up with my gf about 6 months ago. Haven't had any contact since early December. She has a new boyfriend (has had for a while) and it makes my blood boil. At this point I don't want her back, but I really want to get in contact with her soon-ish because I'd like some answers for her behavior and reasoning, A form of closure if you will. Problem is, I'm pretty certain she hates me and won't even look in my direction. Should I try to break down the barrier? pic unrelated
3 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>16902078
>break up with partner
>mad when they move on

So how is high school going op
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Welllllllll - I can understand the closure thing, that shit will haunt you for years if you don't get it. However, you're angry at her for having a new boyfriend. Why? It's none of your business what she's doing with her life now and it definitely shouldn't make you mad. It's going to be hard getting anything out of her now. Probably would be best to wait until she's single again before opening that wound. Chances are she won't be very receptive unless she's still got feelings for you. Plus, it would cause drama in her life if her boyfriend found out about it. I'd just try to put it on the back burner for now, and wait till she's single.

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I have a girlfriend that I love, but we have a shit load of baggage and I'm afraid of commitment. I just want to be alone instead of open up and go through all these emotions from her baggage and shit. All I want is to walk away but I can't, and me being in and out all the time is just ruining our relationship and upsetting her.

I have to walk away but I can't. She was the best gf I've ever had but opening is too hard for me and the baggage she has is just too much.
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
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So break up with her. I literally don't see any point in staying with her. It's not fair to her to be stuck with someone who doesn't want to be with her just because you're too chicken shit to do what needs to be done.
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>>16902102
Yeah op. Dump her because she was raped before you two ever got together.
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>>16902075
Break up with her
Dont listen to >>16902106
Theres no reason for you to carry her baggage. You were not raped so theres no reason for you to have to deal with rape trauma.

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I'm getting to a weird stage in my life where I'm losing interest in porn. The old stuff is, well, getting old, and the new stuff just looks more and more ridiculous to me. I can't tell if it's just because of a gradual stylistic change away from the things I like, or if I'm the one growing up and moving on. Does anybody else have experience with this?
4 posts and 1 images submitted.
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It's your body telling you to stop masturbating
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>>16902063
Have you tried really kinky crazy fetishes? Just keep on ramping up the videos you watch until the thrill comes back. You know, like midgets with no arms and legs.
>>
>>16902063
yup. I have gone through times in life where I liked porn, and other times when it just didn't do anything for me and my own fantasies were way better. and still other times when I didn't need either one of those to get off. it's pretty liberating actually. I say run with it.

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How the fuck do I cope with how evil humanity is. I've heard tons of personal stories from people I know and it seems like if you're weak and vulnerable you're going to just get fucked.

There are so many people out there who would fuck your entire life for even the smallest shit just because they only care about themselves. Just around where I live I've heard tons of fucked up stories about sexual abuse, sexual assault, people going after children, people abusing and neglecting small animals, and all this other stuff.

It's like being incredibly evil is just natural and even though I've never thought about doing anything I've had friends, relatives, and even partners that have gone through abuse. It seems like it's inevitable to go through life without being a victim of something horribly traumatic I'm afraid to have a girlfriend or a child or anything because I know there's so many people with evil intentions. If it happens so frequently I'm starting to think that most the people I know and meet have some dark secret about touching a kid or doing something fucked up. I'm always afraid my girlfriends will be victims or victimized. I feel like any person I run into could be a rapist or a victim of it or something. I always thought if I never did anything like that it wouldn't affect my life but so much shit has happened to people I love I just can't believe how horrible the world is
5 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>16902060
The world is horrible and the older I get the more I realize just how awful most people are to each other. My big revelation was someone asking me how morality can exist without god, since I'm a long time atheist. Turns out the only reason they aren't constantly robbing people and cheating on their wife anymore is god. Like there has to be this stated permanent punishment looming to just not be a piece of shit.

And I know a lot of people like that. People I thought were kind and good. So how do I cope? I don't judge my experiences based on others. I try to be good and do things that help others. I don't expect to change anything or get rewarded. It just feels nice not to make things worse.

Being afraid won't help though. There were bad people a thousand years ago and there will be bad people a thousand years from now. Don't concern yourself with them. They may get to you but so could a comet or a mudslide or a bug flying just right getting caught in your throat and you die. Live your life and try to keep your head up. A few of us aren't shits.
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Dude get some fucking help. You are taking this way too far.
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I've heard tons of stories from people trying to squeeze out all my pity and concluded life is terrible
If I can understand this at 14 just like I understand emo isn't a phase then obviously what's the point
Stop being and edgy kid and/or stop being an autistic obsessive (though I sorta doubt that part cause who wants autist pity)
Still a sub/10 stop being a edgy kid and I don't care if you're like 24 you're being an edgy kid we have you here like twice a day last edgy kid like you I saw was 31
You're many stories are little emo subs trying to suck pity out of you ask them for the nice parts of their lives and they'll say some "there's never really been any" bs
Fucking children nicest part of their lives and they spend it pretending it's terrible now stop crying like a bitch think of something nice and there you go reason enough to live after food and water life isn't supposed to be pretty but it can be let that be enough for you


Edgy kid


Once edgy kid

So, I have lost my job, Good I hated it anyways.
Okay, I had to cash in my 401K. I got 1400.
I found a shitty job, I had an interview today, It was a shitty job that pays $10 an hour.
My roommate who is 30 years older then me. He is working day labor, chump jobs. He insists that everything will be okay between his chump pay and my chump pay but, I highly doubt it will work out.
I am seriously tempted to pack up, leave and disappear.

I can't make up my mind if he's right or wrong.
What should I do?
8 posts and 1 images submitted.
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bump for help!
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>>16902026
>I am seriously tempted to pack up, leave and disappear.
and do what?
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>>16902182
Maybe start all over or an hero.

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I'm seriously considering banging a trap this weekend. she's cute and passes well. but I'm afraid that the shame will follow me the rest of my life. what do I do?
11 posts and 2 images submitted.
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Do it as an experience

We all have regrets but some times the biggest regrets are the ones we never did

Just be safe
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>>16902021
Do it brah

Alexander fucked guys in the ass and conquered Persia
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Post pics of the trap in question if you want some proper advice.

I graduated in 2011 and didn't go to college. I have 40k US dollars saved, I want 80k before I go back to school. I live in California and I'm looking to go to a Cal State University, then hopefully transfer to a better school.

I graduated with a 3.8 GPA and around a 1700 SAT score. Will they still take my application seriously or will high school students and transfers take all the openings?
2 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>16902005
1700 is pretty bad, what about going to a community college? If you are trying to save money they can be a good option

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When does it stop being clingy, while never becoming apathy?
3 posts and 1 images submitted.
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when you are happy with who you are
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>>16902006
But I am, it's clear that he's not happy with who I am.

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