Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 4700. page

>9 months
>no sex

Most men would have bailed long ago.

>>17346079
>>9 months
>>no sex
>Most men would have bailed long ago.

Most men aren't looking for a relationship though.

>>17346088
False. Where did that idiotic quip come from?

getting any amount of sleep is better than getting none at all, especially since you've been up for so long

try sleeping for at least 90 minutes, that should at least help a bit

>>17346062
Thanks I'll try I've been attempting to sleep for the past 7 hours in different places positions and temperatures

What do you need to do in three hours? Is this an eight hour work day or just a thirty minute commitment? If it's the latter, I would suggest just dealing with it and staying up all night. Maybe have some caffeine.

>>17346048
>How do you deal with the pain associated with accepting yourself wholly?
Why accept yourself wholly?
Only by not being satisfied with yourself will make you change yourself (for the better or worse).
The only true way to accept yourself is work towards that goal where it became acceptable.

>>17346055
Yeah, you have a point.
I should have said "How do you accept things you can not change about yourself?"

Sorry, this is stupid.

>>17346059
It's not stupid unless you neglect to follow the path you're discovering by your revelation.

It's all about learning to let go. Mindfulness and careful examination of thoughts and emotions that arise in the moment.

You are more than your appearances, and although you are within your right to continuously believe that looks are important, you don't have to pour your energy into conserving those beliefs. If it's an objective truth, your change of attitude towards the matter won't affect any outer reality - but it will change your inner reality

>inb4 zen philosophy, inner and outer are the same, only appear to be seperated by the illusion of duality

If you manage to change your inner reality, it will affect how other people see you, and it will results in opportunities that can't be matched by your past experiences.

When you feel uneasy or depressed, ask yourself to welcome the thoughts and feelings, and sit with them for a while. If you can welcome (accept) what arises, move in to asking yourself if you also can welcome the need to influence, stop, start, or in any way change what you are experiencing. Can you welcome the need to keep it at a distance, or holding it close, protecting your vulnerability from the rest of the world? If you can, can you also welcome the sense and belief that what you are experiencing is who you are, or got anything to do with your total being? Will you still be you, if those feelings didn't arise?

Can you let it go?
Will you let it go?
And if so, when?

The Sedona Method

Literally me except for the prop art (whatever that is) and records/vinyls. OP, I can't communicate easily either. I might throw out a few topics in the air to see if it sticks, but they eventually lead into awkward silences after a minute of commenting back and forth.

Is there anyone here who isn't autistic and can teach us the way?

Be Chad
Don't be not-Chad

>>17346029
>>17346106
More likely than not, you don't know enough about these girls to assume they don't share your interests past one date. Try giving people more than one shot. Take interests in what they enjoy, their interests could overlap with yours. Relationships take time and effort to cultivate, just assuming they're going to understand your humor and interests in a three hour date is very optimistic. Keep trying guys, and try a little harder while you're at it. No one wants to talk about heavy political situations on their first date, they want to know about what shows you liked as a kid/teen. Use that dark humor of yours, and if it isn't that great, tone it down a bit.

>>17346016
>getting v& for cheese pizza
lmaoing @ ur life.

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>mfw normalfag pedoshit faggot gets what he deserves

Wtf did you do?

Depends on the woman.

Also, a large number of woman can't come from just taking dicks. Being open enough to communicate about sex before it happens is important.

Vaginas are only a little over three inches long. You shouldn't have trouble hitting the cervix unless you got a legit micropenis. If you're having trouble with that, just try to compensate through other methods. There a lot more ways to make a woman orgasm than vaginal sex.

As for the size that women PREFER, I'd say about 5-6 inches.

>>17346013
6 inches

Groa a thick skin already you dumb idiot, stockholm syndrome doesn't happen unless you were literally incarcerated with zero means of communication to the outside world. You're just an oversensitive retard with a victim complex.

>>17346017
I didn't say it WAS Stockholm Syndrome, you ass. I knew I should've typed traumatic bonding instead and it's a real thing that a lot of people have gone through. Thanks for not answering my fucking question. Fuck off to /r9k/ you prick.

>>17346022
If you knew it wasn't that then why bring it up at all? Perhaps fishing for pity by being overdramatic, hmmm?

Go attention whore somewhere else already, retarded cunt.

>>17346010

-Press your tongue against the roof of the mouth to warm the area.

-Tilt your head back for about 10 seconds.

-Drink a liquid that is warmer than the cold substance that caused the headache.

-Take small bites or sips and let them warm on your tongue before they touch the roof of your mouth.

-Make a mask with your hands and cover your mouth and nose; breathe quickly.

-Press your thumb against the roof of your mouth.

>>17346018
my entire bvodty ghas fdrozen exxccvepppt my tongue sdend hwelp my enhter rooim is c overd in ice

>>17346030
is there someone at home with you?

>>17345976
I met her in grade 10, the same year when I decided to turn my life around and meant it. the first day of school I joined the math club, the homework club, and the running team for the summer and fall season. i met her in my first running team practice session. I joined group b (there are 3 groups, a, b ,c) because I thought I was an average runner. boy was I wrong, that first run nearly broke me, I was shambling at the end of it. But during the run, i managed to make it by following the stride and pace of this one girl which prevented me from overdoing it or from losing the pace.

>>17345976

I was in a similar situation and I told her that I loved her after a friendship that lasted years.

It wasn't mutual and it killed the friendship, but I don't think I would have been able to live with myself if I didn't try, so.

>>17345986
The first run was a us going around half of our entire town, turning at the biggest convince store in our country side and passing through the small parcel of tress which the people treated as an intimate nature walk. anyways. when the run was over, I was coughing my lungs out but after a pitcher of water and alot of deep breaths (the couch told us not to sit cause that strains the leg muscles) I was okay, It was my first time to go home that late and I didn't have my usual group of friends to walk me home. So I started to walk home until I saw that girl which i was tailing in the running team. I just noticed how pretty she was in her gym shorts and her running jersey. She was all alone which made it real easy to approach her. found out she lived in the same way but abit more east. We then started to talk about the running team first, then after that about school, then about a myriad of topic until we just noticed that we were at the crossroad between our homes. She said goodbye, and that was my first solo experience with a girl for that long.

>>17345964

Don't stick your dick in crazy.

>>17345964
respect her decision

>>17345966
Wasn't going to she's undesirable to me but I'm one of her only friends

Doubt?

Might also be called Rabbit Doubt

>>17345937
Hmm no it's not this one. The very first page was showing a bunch of skulls on a black background then the pages after showed an image of the pig mask guy killing someone

>>17345946
Judge by the same author has a guy getting killed in the first few pages

People are just people. Nobody is "just a mom" or "just a dad." Everyone out there is living their own adventure, with their own highs and lows, successes and failures, and as a bystander you only witness a part of it. Very often parents try to protect kids from their own mistakes by being overbearing or micro parenting every decision the child takes. Other times parents focus on providing for the child in material ways and forget to be there emotionally because nobody showed them how to do it. Parenting was only one aspect of who they were back then.

My advice to you would be that now you are all adults, and you sustain yourself independently, give yourself a chance to get to know your parents as people, as individual, not just as mom and dad with the baggage those titles come with.

Clean slate. Invite your mom out to dinner and your dad out for a drink, and just talk to them. Talk to them like you would a potential friend, and see where things go.

>>17345930
Yeah... that is not really possible, I moved far away from my natal city last year due to a lot of reasons, my parents being just another one.

I don't really know my father, but I know my mother enough to know that, honestly, I don't really like the way she handled her life, I've come up with ideas of how different her life would be if I hadn't been born and I think that it wouldn't be much different, same for my father.

As an aditional note my mother is coming over to visit me next week and I can already see her critizicim basically everyting and being all sad because I'm so far away and asking me to come back home and telling me how much she and my grandmother and my dog miss me.

>>17345922
My advice?
You owe them nothing, so don't even bother trying to forcedly like/love them. Leave it be and cut/reduce your contact to them as you see fit.

I don't care if the so much "loved you" and so much "tried their best". If they truly did their job as a parent, you'd not feel like you do now.

On the other side though, no matter what you choose to do, even if you hated them and told them to die a horrible death, it is their duty to always love and forgive you. It is their fucking duty. This is what it means to be a parent. You put them into this world, you deal with the consequences and keep loving your offspring no matter what.

Chances are in a few years you'll be able to forgive them anyways and keep friendly but kinda distant contact anyways. Just don't hope to be really close to them one day ever. This'll spare you a lot of hurt on the way.

This is coming from a parent of three. I had a psychopath dad and rarely present overworked mom myself.

Sounds like you never got proper closure. See a counselor that can help you dig up what unfinished business you had with your ex lover that still bothers you 12 years after her passing.

>>17345926
You're definitely right there, a professional would be much better than coming to /adv. I've just never really had time or money for something like that.
I don't know if closure is the issue though. I've accepted it and gotten over loss as much as you really can get over loss, it's just not being able to find the same feeling of love from anyone else.

>>17345944
It's closure.

Maybe your idea of "i've accepted it" is just forcing yourself not to think about it, bury it deep within you. A lot of us do that at first so we can stop crying every time sometihnf reminds us of the person we lost. Then we just never address it.

If you had proper closure, you wouldn't keep comparing new relationships to your past one. It would just be in your past. In order to move you, save some money and see a counselor for help with this, we can't help you over posts like this. You need to have a face to face conversations with someone that has experience in this subject and can guide you.

I worked management for years and it sucked the fucking life out of me. I couldn't really eat or sleep or find enjoyment in anything. I quit that shot in December and have been living off savings since then - obviously this isn't possible for a lot of people, but in this time j have been writing and writing and writing, with aspirations of being a novelist.
The fulfilment and enjoyment I have gained from this has honestly kept me alive. If you aren't fulfilled in life, you aren't living. There will be times where all of us will have to be unfulfilled - obviously I will not be able to live on my savings forever - but you must find a purpose and Persue it as much as you possibly can

get a piece of paper, figure out

Ideal living:
>rent
>monthly food expenses
>monthly utilities, phone, gas, insurance, etc expenses
>monthly leisure expenses
>total: T1
>add 50% to T1, meant for savings
>you get your total monthly cost of living

Look for jobs that hit at least that minimum.

>>17345933
we have social security here so i can take some time off with the "disadvantage" of living on life sustain mode with my expenses.
i really can focus on making music more and the time off really gave me energy and teached me about myself in ways i would have never imagined
i got so much stuff done regarding my hobbies for which i never had energy at my old job, it was just exhausting mentally

it showed me what i missed out at my last job, came home without energy to make music, had dinner, played some games or watched some tv and then hit the sheets - repeat 24/7

now i have so many possibilities open and can do whatever i want if i get a chance from someone which is a very satisfying feeling
my family didn´t understand the move i took because quitting without a new job lined up is very risky but i researched a bit and many people say you have to do it or else you could really end up as a mental case - kinda

what´s a bit scary though - will i get a chance from someone to try something new?
that´s a fear always sitting in the back of my head - how would you deal with that?

>>17345939
will do that, thanks man

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Melatonin

Roman chamomile essential oil

Breathe in for a seconds, hold breath 8 seconds, breathe out for 8 seconds, hold breath out 8 seconds, repeat for a few minutes.

Exercise before you go to bed
no computer/phone/screens of any kind an hour before you go to bed
go to bed at a consistent time and wake up at a consistent time
like you said cool temps are a must
I like to read before I go to bed, it's part of my pre-sleep ritual and get's me in the mood to rest.
Try not to use your bedroom for non sleep related activities if possible.

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>>17345904
>Exercise before you go to bed
yea like 6 hours before going to bed