Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 4699. page

Just go along with them? Also though I don't know the full situation I assume your girlfriend is giving the guy some signs she's not interested.

When my ex got into college I remember not feeling shit about her going out with other people there, until she became close to this one guy.

For some reason, I felt like he was too present in every story she told, and after a while she started never telling me about him unless I asked the right questions (for example, she tells a story about going out and she talks about everyone involved, and then I ask who else was there and that motherfucker's name came up.)

Of course, I thought I was jealous and paranoid until suddenly I get dumped and a month later they're dating.

So look, if you're upset about her having a new milieu then control yourself, because every guy who has ever been on the other side of the situation you're describing knows how frustrating a new girl with an old bf is. And if you try to control her (directly or by acting like you're bothered and expecting her to do the right thing) you'll only push her away.

But if you have a bad feeling about that guy in particular, then that probably means something's up. Chicks are awful at hiding their feelings when they talk about someone they're into.

>>17346308
you can expect some outside work socializing but usually it is work related and mandatory. Going out for a drink or partying isn't mandatory, nothing more than bonding with new friends and happens and no cause for worry. The new guy she feels "close" to and going because he is there is your cause for worry. The going out with work mates is an excuse to be with him.

She wants the pipe.

>>17346429
Then what do I do first

>>17346305
Don't start off by declaring undying love. She may just be admiring your jacket or haircut.

But since you're co-workers it is perfectly normal and non-commital to make small talk with her. Chat about the weather or the boss or last night's TV or any non-subject. If she has nothing to say back, then you've misinterpreted her. If she is friendly you can move on (at the second or third chat) to "I was thinking of trying the new Chinese restaurant down the block for lunch. Would you like to join me?"

Funny shit. Pull that stick out of your butt.

>>17346307
So clever.

>>17346302
Let's just get this straight. The worst you can accuse this girl of is hiding your keys as a practical joke, and you are not really sure she did that. And on that basis you want revenge.

Is that the gist of your story?

>>17346290
Aye, I'm working on it now. Two years ago I was a mess.

Right now I'm working on correcting my posture and practicing my conversation skills. I also practice my body language in the mirror. I probably seem aspie as fuck irl.

Godspeed, brother.

>>17346290
Be comfortable with being uncomfortable. Where I was a "20" and I wanted in my life was a "100" but what I found out was that I kept changing and adding stuff I did not see a progress I wanted to see aka being fit. I had opportunities to grow somewhere else and I felt like a 20 for a long time. But what happened was I did grow, just not in being fit, there's never going to be a "right time" there's just going to be a hard time and a less harder time. I felt 20 and still do, but I have loads more confidence, loads more insight and I'm well established. I'm probably a 79 but I feel like a 20, and that's okay. The only thing is my weight. My social skills are pretty good. They were never before I could barely hold a sentence with a good friend. But now I can talk to anyone. My comfort level feels like a 20 but is a 79. As you get better at things you feel uncomfortable then they become comfortable and yeah. It's going to be hard and the big transformation isn't probably going to happen, it's a slow progression because the willpower you have is low. If you had high will
Power then yeah

>>17346300
>Right now I'm working on correcting my posture and practicing my conversation skills. I also practice my body language in the mirror.

Practicing in the mirror is a good one.

There was this one time I had to do a presentation for college and I recorded myself doing it in my room the day before, because I want to work on body language and speech.

When I watched the video I wanted to fucking cry

>>17346265
It's the chlorine in the water. Use lotion every day if you want to see results, especially after you shower. CeraVe is a good brand, try to avoid anything petroleum based.

>>17346279
Ugh, suspected as much. The chlorine smell is pretty persistent, usually doesn't go away even after showering. Thinking about getting chlorine removal shampoo for that. Do you think that does the trick for the fingers too or do I want something separate for that?

Too much chlorine. I'd give my whole body a break if I were you. Is there anywhere you can swim that has a saltwater pool instead of using chlorine? Retinol, vitamin E, and coconut oil will help.

Maybe your gay

>>17346264
that's what a few of my gfs have thought. the thing is I don't like looking at guys at all irl. one gf said that perhaps I look at fantasy characters because I have too much shame admitting I'm gay due to my upbringing. I'm someone who suffers from intense shame over lots of things (long story, but my parents made me feel guilty over everything growing up so now I'm fucked in the head with constant feelings of guilt over every little thing).

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try to pinpoint what about it makes you so fucking hard

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Some background info that seems possibly pertinent.

>was in the army, deployed to Afghanistan once
>got discharged for being sad crybabby who tried to hang self
>DX is borderline personality disorder, paranoid personality disorder and major depressive disorder

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I'll give it one bump then let it die peacefully

>>17346247
Well it's just a dream.

I had one where a bunch of people including myself were held captive at an old run down playground which was closed by a wire mesh fence. Every few days "they'd" come and get a few of us. They never returned and no one knew what "they" did to them.

Or once I had a recurring dream three times in a row about two wonderful mysterious planets I could see at the night sky looking up from the balcony of the house I grew up in.

Or I have pretty much recurring nightmares, this is going on for years. There are three of them.
In one there's always taking some kind of alien invasion where they try to destroy as much as possible human build on the surface of the earth (buildings primarily). Im always trying to survive by hiding in a building trying keep my family together and silent.
In another one there are always those tornados which I notice in sheer horror after looking out from the window of the room I grew up in. My mom still lives there and we're in Germany where tornados don't exist. Anyhow, in these dreams I once again try to keep my family safe and sound and before anything else I try to keep us together (in case we're doomed to die, at least we shall die together, not taking the risk of one of us surviving and having to mourn for the rest of us)
The other one is always witnessing a plane crash at different scenarios and it's always a very close call that the plane didn't crash directly into us.
After witnessing the horrible crash I'm always trying to shake off the shock of a plane nearly hitting my house I always try to help desperately. Calling the ambulances and trying to do what not.

As you can see anon... dreams are dreams and definitely some weird shit at times.

It might depend on the store/country, but last I checked it's illegal for stores to charge you for things they send you by mistake. I guess it used to be a bit of a scam to send someone too much merch, then charge them for it when they don't send it back, which is unfair because sending it back places a burden on the customer that they didn't consent to. So any extra stuff you're sent is legally a gift with purchase and the shop's own mistake.
I'd look it up myself if I were you though.

In any case, that's a lot of notebooks. If it's a smaller company, I'd probably contact them and let them know what happened just to be polite/clear your conscience. That's happened to me before and they just thanked me for my honesty and let me keep the extra merch.
If it's a huge company that won't notice the difference, it's probably not worth fretting over. Maybe donate some of the extra books to a kids' charity or something if you feel bad (or generally don't want 62 freaking notebooks lying around).

>>17346216
>isn't that stealing?

In some countries/jurisdictions, trying to keep goods delivered to you by mistake would be considered theft (I believe there are a couple states in Australia that have codified this into criminal law, and at least one in the USA). Generally speaking though, I think in most countries, recovery would be done via civil process.

The particular legal doctrine in common law countries permitting civil recovery is called "unjust enrichment": you cannot unfairly benefit or profit from someone else's mistake. So yeah, depending on your country & local law, you may be legally obligated to inform the vendor of their mistake, and you would need to comply with reasonable requests to arrange return shipping if they their goods back. Requesting that YOU pay to ship it back is generally not considered reasonable.

If you call and they tell you that you can keep the goods, request that they tell you this in writing. Email is better than nothing. If you don't get anything from them, send your own email saying along the lines that you had a conversation, and you're emailing to confirm that they said you could keep it. I'd hold onto the stuff for at least a couple months before you get rid of it, just in case.

>>17346229
>So any extra stuff you're sent is legally a gift with purchase and the shop's own mistake.

This isn't true most places in the western world.

While the store cannot require the customer to pay for the items or pay for return shipping, if they arrange return shipping themselves, the customer is required to comply with reasonable demands for the return of accidentally delivered goods.

I emailed them and they asked me to return the extras, also I will get a giftcard as a thanks. Sure it sucks to take them to mail because they are really heavy and I'm not very strong but I'll figure something out.

She's not going to contact you. It's been 3 weeks. She likely has moved on.

Contact her and try again, if that's what you want.

Don't contact her man. Long distance relationships are fucking aids. I've been in one for almost 3 years now and every day I wish I had the willpower to end it. It's fucking miserable, expensive, lonely, and not worth the effort.

She probably won't contact you, and you shouldn't contact her. Get out and meet people IRL. Easier said than done, but far less stressful than an LDR.

>>17346977
Hey man, seize the day and take your own advice. Have a real relationship soon .

Okay:

- Muscles are easy to get. Go over to /fit/ or even go to the fit section of reddit and learn about bulking up. Eat healthily and start packing on some muscle. You'll also get in shape if you follow a good cardio workout plan.

- Hairy body is fine, just shave your neckbeard, chest/back hair, keep your armpit hair in check.

- For back acne, change your sheets and pillowcases regularly or put a flannel / towelette on your pillow. Don't sleep in thick clothes, get a breathable singlet (basketball singlet works well) or t-shirt. Make sure you're washing your body (or at least putting water over it). Make sure to exfoliate. If all of that fails, try a new body gel/soap and book an appt. with a dermotologist.

- Failing your education is negligent on your part. Why are you failing? Do you not use your time effectively? are you retarded?

- Job is easy to get, you just have to be willing to accept a McJob or a shitty job e.g. pizza delivery until you work your way up.

- Start your hobbies, easy. Find other people who share your hobbies and do it with them in order to motivate yourself into doing them.

- Count your calories, begin to eat more fruit and vegetables. Stop eating shitty processed food. It'll help with your acne.

- Fucked up sleeping schedule is a lack of discipline. Stop playing video games in your bed. Set a sleep and a wake-up time, and do your absolute best to adhere to those times for a week or two straight. Once you've done that your body will begin to get tired in preparation for that time, and will wake up on time without the need for an alarm clock. Getting good sleep will help with your mental health, body problems, and will promote muscle / mental growth. You're not going to learn anything from education if you don't get a good nights sleep (this is when your brain commits things to long term memory)

- Poor can be changed by getting a job

- There's no excuse for being untidy. If you can do something in less than 2 minutes... 1/2

>>17346197

2/2

... then you should do it. It's such a small amount of time out of your day, and there's really no excuse for being so lazy.

Creating a schedule for yourself and adhering to it to the best of your ability will help with whatever issues you have. Any social problems (lack of confidence, lazy, NEET etc.) can be alleviated by changing small things in your life and bettering yourself as a person.

Getting fit/buff and fixing these aspects of your life aren't magically going to make you a walking chick magnet. You're going to have to work on your social skills and your outlook on life.

There's no point focusing on how many people do things better than you. Stop thinking about other people and yourself as a rating system. Trying to rationally quantify subjective things is a waste of time and so pointless in the grand scheme of things. You can look like a 10/10 but be mentally retarded with no social skills. Stop worrying about that shit.

>>17346197
>>17346199
This is all good advice.

Read the /fit/ sticky, there's a lot of advice about diet and how to get in shape.
Healthy diet will also help with your acne.

Most of your problems are about lack of discipline. Address one problem a month and let yourself get used to it.
Get used to sleep healthy, to tidy up your room, get a schedule for your studies, etc.

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>>17346154
utorrent works just fine for me, never had a problem with it.

Deluge

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>>17346158
gib rare pepe

>thinking a girl likes you for any reason
You fucked up.
That being said, if you think you really do have a shot with this new girl and your gf isn't making you happy, you should move on. 5 years is a long time, especially at 22. There's nothing but time for you man, don't chain yourself to one individual forever. Give it a shot if it's what you really want.

>>17346119
>I dont want to cheat on gf
Break up with her.
>but i want the other girl too.
You're not entitled to get with the other girl. You can give it a shot and maybe it will happen, maybe it won't.

>>17346127
>bumping on page 1
It's really like you're 22.

Do you want to be skinny or be a sick cunt?
>skinny
You're not gonna make it, but you can keep doing your best with your weight loss plan, 20 pounds is really amazing. Stick with your proteins and your cardio
>sick cunt
You're not gonna make it, but general weight lifting will continue to refine your shape. Keep lifting, eating protein, and keep with your cardio routine. We're all gonna make it brah.

>>17346094
I want to both. Kind of. I don't want to look perfect. Who knows if i ever will. I just want to feel good about how i look. I've been pretty in shape in school and i have been crippling insecure about my weight for years. I don't want to do this to impress anybody. I just felt like it's an awesome opportunity to get my Motivation up cause i know i would be embarassed af to be seen like that if everyone Remembers me differently. I'll keep at what i'm doing.

Different question but same topic: i've moved a lot When in school and thus never managed to build up a real social circle. I have lost contact to all of the people that will be there. I somehow think this is like getting a second chance at taking that contact up again with people my age and from my area. How do i not fuck this up?

>>17346100
As to question 1, you have to do it for yourself. No one gives a shit what you look like desu. To them, you're either fat, average, or fit. The good thing is, you've started. Now how bad do you want to be in shape again? Is it worth three months of pain and suffering? Is it worth a lifetime of small changes so you can look good well into your 70s? I dealt with the same thing for awhile. >>(You) have to want it. Motivate yourself with those 20 pounds you've already lost. Imagine being down 40 or 50 pounds. Imagine the 20 year reunion. No one will care what you look like then either. Just imagine how YOU will look. No one wants to be a slob. Only you can change that.

As for question 2, I have no idea. Be friendly, meet up with people you thought you liked from back then. I only talk to like 3 people anyway.

>>17346084
I think so. Pretty cute that you're this worked up about it. I hope you're right for each other and it works out for you so you'll be very happy :)

OP here. Gonna make a correction: I've been dating her for a week now. Not that we dated for just a week lol

>>17346092
Thanks senpai. I hope so too :)

>>17346080
*I purposefully eat junk food

I also like insulting myself with thoughts like "I'm a failure" and other heneric stuff

Also, everytime I get insulted I insult back in order to get insulted more and I feel soo good.

And when someone gives me a compliment I turn it down immediately, trying to insult the person who said it because it causes me pain.

Like "Thanks you helped me Nick, you are so smart" and I would answer "I'm not smart, it's that you're an brainless idiot" and it makes me feel so good when they get sad