Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 4692. page

it's stage 4 small cell lung cancer- and as of now i've been living here for about three months. I help with shopping, cooking, cleaning, transport, etc….
the more i talk to doctors, and go with her to treatments, the more it seems like she’s got longer than we initially believed. So i came here planning on sticking around far less shorter than things are looking.
My aunt, uncle, and brother are acting like she’s going to die next week, my mom is in denial and thinks she’s going to beat this thing (stage 4 lung cancer has an extremely low five year survival rate. Also i am not eager to be the guy who tells his mom she’s surely going to die.)
During the first couple weeks after chemo, she needs a lot of help, and i honestly have no problem doing so- but it’s those couple weeks in between where i feel trapped in my home town, with my life frozen.
The truth is- I really don’t know if she’ll go in 2 months, or 3 years… Right now there’s a part of me I’m not proud of that wishes we can just for a lack of kinder words, “rip this band aid off.” I don't know how fucking long this is going to be.
I hate how selfish I feel, but It’s scary the thought of being here for two years, but that fear is counter attacked with the fear of I don’t fucking know if it will be in two weeks, cancer sucks, there’s no predictable way to plan things.
I don’t know if me getting my own place to live at during the weeks she’s not recovering from chemo makes sense financially (I have $30,000 in savings, and I can’t work too much if I’m helping her out) - and if moving out even help me feel better, there’s this inner critic in my head that says no matter what this is all gonna suck.
I just kinda feel frozen right now and am torn between self-care- and being around for her uncertain amount of days.
so right now i'm falling back into old behavior patterns of wanting to protect my mom from my brother, and paranoid she's doing drugs, etc...
(more txt coming)

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I am extremely uncomfortable emotionally and physically around my family but i do love them. my mom projects all this weird toxic shit in conversation but i do love her, and i know she loves me. (I’m not saying I’m better than them, but this is how i feel around them.)

This is really hard.

Should I get my own place? I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings by moving out, but I also don’t want to look at my family as prison guards.

When I mentioned the idea of moving out, and stopping by to take care of her as needed, my uncle guilted me into staying there and “reassured” she’s going to die soon. I should be there for my mother. I got pissed off that he talked to me like a child, telling me what is right or wrong for something so complicated, but then I sunk into a depression and figured I guess she would die soon. This is just all kinds of fucked up.

T;ldr cancer and guilt, wut do i do?

also any general advice for this situation is so valued.

thanks for reading, i hope this was coherent.

it's really conflicting and confusing.

i do love my mother very much but is it selfish to not want to "waste" an uncertain amount of time?

>>17347681
get other broads, post on fb and make sure she knows. Say nothing directly to her. If she is interested she'll come round

>>17347681

sleaze/10.

If your friends can't trust you, why should she.
If she's got brains, she won't.

If she don't, oh well, Darwinism.

>>17347681

>hey, anon, remember how I was a piece of shit two years ago? well, now I'm a piece of shit with ab muscles and a better job. interested?

good plan.

>>17347664
Terrible legal market? That's crazy talk.

You can literally go into any industry with a law degree. It's not like other degrees confined to one sector, as there is a need for legal services in all sectors. Law is a very broad field.

With your law degree, you can go on to teach a class here or there as an adjunct (if you make enough money doing something else obviously)

and wouldn't you know, the military needs lawyers too.

>>17347664
>>17347664
>character

Military wont give you character. No career will do that. How old are you? I´m assuming +18... well if you are above 18 and seek the army in order to obtain or build character, I have bad news for you: you are too late. You were suppose to be building character while growing up.

>camaraderie

Please stop watching war movies

>clear hierarchy for advancement
Any job that requires a serious college degree will do that for you.

>>17347679
Thanks for the reply.

>Terrible legal market? That's crazy talk.

I don't mean to be rude but are you familiar with the legal market today? After 07 shit went down the tubes.
There are whole forums dedicated to people who say they can't find jobs. News sites say this too.

I hear that it's basically practice law or you're screwed. And there are few jobs to practice law since there are so damn many graduates.

Maybe she lied?

Just ask her man. Don't make simple things any more complicated than they need to be.

>>17347684
That's what I was thinking but like what would keep her from being honest?

>>17347656
it's because you cry so much that their maternal instinct kicks in and they start treating you like a baby. taking care of babies is exhausting, hence the complaining.

>>17347656
It's like when you stomp on ice trying to break it but hoping it doesn't.

is this emma watson? who cares what she thinks.

u dun goofed m8

>>17347651
Call the cops next time. Your lawyer should know what you can do next.

The fuck you mean you exchanged info, insurance info is what you're supposed to exchange, not Facebook links or whatever you did. Retard

If u want pussy just lift

Habitat for humanity is a charitable organization that provides housing for people, but there are specific requirements before they let people get the housing, so that they know they are giving housing to someone responsible. Just write a letter saying how responsible your friend is and how she is good at her job, etc. Make sure you let them know your relationship to her as well.

>>17347636
I do a lot of letters of recommendation, here's how I usually format it.

Dear such and such,

1st paragraph- who you are, how long you have known her, through what capacity you know her. Some attributes that she has that are positive

2nd paragraph- specific example or two when she has demonstrated some of these qualities.

3rd paragraph- closing: I think she would be a great addition to your project etc etc etc

Don't over think it, just write a nice letter saying that she is responsible, hard working, caring, works well with others

Does he know you liked him?

ask why he sends them or keep quiet

>>17347627
Yeah man, I told him 2 yrs ago

Avoid taking all those naps, try and power through them or they will mess up your sleep cycle.
Take a melatonin pill and avoid using any electronics an hour prior to to going to bed.

>>17347608

Firstly, go see a doctor. Sleep disturbances are a medical issue that should be assessed by a medical professional

Secondly, don't take any medical advice on 4chan.

>>17347608
Try this.
Prepare basic equipments,
Leave your house,
then go camping in wilderness for a week.
Make your own tent,
hunt your own food,
start your own fire,
cook them yourself.
after a week, your problems should be solved.

If you try to get people interested in you, you'll end up always having to keep 'em that interested in you. Better let that happen naturally.

Besides, you seem like a genuinely nice person so it's probably not you. Just bad timing

Also ask yourself why'd you need a girl besides your fear of not finding any later on in your life?

>>17347668
Well, there is no set reason why I want one, I guess. I have a few reasons why I want one, some personal. But I guess I'd like to atleast know how to keep a gf and how to treat her right.

Suppose if i do meet the one someday? How will I know how to keep her interest, or even get her to like me in the first place? I'd hate to accidently make her hate me because of my inexperience.

That and I kind of feel a bit left out whenever, I'm around people talking about their love life, and especially so when I hear the two people in my group that are dating each other say how much they love each other. And I guess I dislike how my parents are always asking If i got a gf yet or something.

>>17347604
Its difficult but you have to take that step with girls that you like. You gotta make that jump from friends to more than friends. It's scary and you will probably fall a few times but the way you're doing it will always result in nothing. There will be awkward situations and lost friendships but that is the price a man must pay. Best of luck, anon.

>>17347596
I hate to give you a non-answer, but you should probably ask the police or your attorney.

What did they do?

If they're going to jail, how are they supposed to find you?

>>17347596

Everyone has a constitutional right to face their accuser. You cannot anonymously file charges against someone and then not show your face in court.

He will know its you filing charges, there's no way around that. As far as finding your personal information all he needs is a few bucks and google to find that out.

If you don't want to risk retaliation, don't file charges.

>>17347591
its going to be pricey
avoid the south side

>>17347602
Really? I found shit around 600 dollars. Like a lot of results. I guess that could be expensive compared to rural Kansas but I don't think that's a lot

>>17347607
is that 600 per tenant or is the whole place 600?

I'm in an almost identical situation with genders reversed, bump

>>17347703
We could exchange numbers and agree on me texting you or you texting me tho

TEXT
that waiting around bullshit is for high school

How do I approach death? With dignity. Have your dog put down.End its suffering.

Have your dog put down now and only leave yourself with good memories. Dragging out a long, slow, painful death over the years is shitty. A painless, quick death in the arms of a loved one gives you closure and some shred of dignity.

Do not leave the room when they do it. They look for you when you leave.

Take your pupper to the vet and get a check up.

If he's suffering then put him down, if not just make him as comfy as possible.

Make sure to stream it. Have fun anon

>>17347528
Don't forget to make a will before you die. Please ensure you leave all your rare frogs to me.

just don't do anything stupid like having sex with a hooker without a condom or riding a motorcycle or getting a spontaneous tattoo.