How do you cope/deal with/move on from the death of a lover?

Sounds like you never got proper closure. See a counselor that can help you dig up what unfinished business you had with your ex lover that still bothers you 12 years after her passing.

>>17345926
You're definitely right there, a professional would be much better than coming to /adv. I've just never really had time or money for something like that.
I don't know if closure is the issue though. I've accepted it and gotten over loss as much as you really can get over loss, it's just not being able to find the same feeling of love from anyone else.

>>17345944
It's closure.

Maybe your idea of "i've accepted it" is just forcing yourself not to think about it, bury it deep within you. A lot of us do that at first so we can stop crying every time sometihnf reminds us of the person we lost. Then we just never address it.

If you had proper closure, you wouldn't keep comparing new relationships to your past one. It would just be in your past. In order to move you, save some money and see a counselor for help with this, we can't help you over posts like this. You need to have a face to face conversations with someone that has experience in this subject and can guide you.