Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 3978. page

>>17527830

does anyone know if therapy helps for this sort of thing?

>>17527830
>>17527837

If you are willing to go to therapy, it might help.

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Yes, therapy can help. Also immersion therapy. It sounds awful, but given enough time immersed in the unfamiliar you adapt.

Oh yeah, and share your stories here too, how'd it turn out?

>>17527829
She's in an exchange program you idiot. Move on.

>>17527840

So what, I should just drop it and stop talking? It's gonna be awkward as hell when she gets back and the group has another meetup right?

>>17527828
if people actually like you, i wouldent suggest changing. no one is perfect, we all piss someone off. being talkative and happy has its positives too, yeah, at times, you might piss people off but fuck them.

>>17527828
Yeah, be yourself. Make some more alone time for yourself. I'm sure you're intelligent. Just focus on having internal monologues when in company. Practice makes perfect.

>>17527835

This is the thing to keep in mind. If people like you, then no need for drastic changes.

However, if people roll their eyes or conversation dies after you open your mouth, then it's time to take inventory. I have a classmate who is terrible with this shit as he feels like he needs to comment on EVERYTHING the teacher says in a very loud voice. I think he has some shape of autism or just poor socialization from being homeschooled for most of his life because it seems like he just can't keep his mouth shut rather than being purposefully disruptive. She started having him keep a notebook to write down any comments that he may want to interject when she's talking, and he can make a comment out loud after he writes 5 comments or something. I think it's helping him moderate when he speaks out of turn because it forces him to process his words silently and slowly.

Also, when I say serious, i mean it: im gonna meet her in person, and tell her everything I think. If she's willing to accept my terms (such as cutting back on the wild partying lifestyle etc), that would mean I do matter to her, and then im down to a restart, but otherwise there is no way in hell i'm going to get together with her only to keep getting cucked.

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>>17527790
Stay away bro, she reeks of being a cheap whore. Like you said the damage is done but if you take her back then you might as well cut your balls off because you pretty much don't have any as it is right now.

>>17527790
First of all, her being able to make out with a bunch of random people meant that this mutual friend did fuck all, even though it was clear she was so smashed that she had no idea what she was doing. Same goes for you when you got there.

>definitely not beta
Unless you neglected to mention that you took some kind of action, this is what I'm getting from your synopsis here:
You fucking watched her make out with a girl and 2 random guys in the 5 minutes you were there and did NOTHING. If you are so in love with this chick, and care about her that much, why didn't you take some responsibility and step in? That's what people do when they care for someone, they make sure they don't do anything stupid when they're in a vulnerable state like that.

But to answer your question sure, go ahead if you reckon its worth getting back together with her. And if she regrets what she did and had no idea what the fuck she was doing at the time, then no you didn't get cucked.

Please op take me ;_ ;

All the guys I know seem to cheat on their gfs, drink too much, do too many drugs.

Halp.

>>17527733

Yeah, i'm also tired of all these trashy people. Where you are from ?

>>17527724
Where were you looking previously?

>>17527705
Yes, if you let it happen.

You get type-cast in high school, given a label that everyone assumes and you come to believe in. In college or work, no one has any preconceptions about you, so you can redefine yourself.

Of course. Most people I know have changed since high school

>Do people develop their interests and tastes as they get older?

It's a pretty obvious answer. Take me for example, at middle school I was fairly unfit and borderline obese, very unsocial and generally very reserved about drugs and shit.

By the time I got to uni I became the coach of a sports team, lost a lot of weight, enjoy a healthy social life and far more relaxed about smoking weed and drinking too much alcohol. People say I don't look different, but I feel very different.

>>17527651
Peepee in vajayjay

>>17527651
>Actually get her wet, it's OK to use lubricant if you're new to foreplay
>The hymen doesn't break, it stretches
>Touch her vagina with something that isn't your penis
>Be comfortable with each others bodies before you start having sex

>>17527659
What if she doesn't let me do foreplay?

>>17527650
I didn't have conversations with anyone but immediate family for six years, nothing really happens.

>>17527650
You don't get laid.

Unless you have a unhealthy relationship with either parent, if so do tell more.

>>17527675
>>17527679
Thanks and thanks. Was just checking to see if coming out of my cave was medically necessary. I hope you guys hear about my music sometime soon. Cheers

>>17527613
Buy a 12 pack, a tube of KY, and bend over.

>>17527613
It's going to be a culture shock for him.
Best thing is to ease him in to a life out side of prission.

So try to recreat prison life at home but the. Each month increase the leave of home comfort.

>>17527613
Tell him man landed on Mars, show him the documentary of Mark Watney

you're right... this whole thing is cowardly -- ill deal with it on my own

>>17527601
You should try to talk with your cousin about that. It is kind of weird, and more fucked up that you did it to her in her sleep, but to be honest the "hots for cousin" thing is a lot more common than people want to talk about. How old were you both when this happened? Have you interacted much since then? If you're basing your entire worth on this one incident, then you should clear it up with your cousin and yourself.

After that, go back to school or find a hobby or some shit. Hit the gym and smoke less.

>>17527696
we haven't spoken much since our teenage years. Seen each other for family gathering type things. I believe we were about 12-13. I did it maybe 3 separate when we slept in the same bed. I kind of touched her through her clothing.

...but how could this conversation possibly go? maybe she did realize what i was doing but had repressed it? that seems like a horrible thing to drudge up, almost selfish...

I guess what Im asking is, I realize: how do I actually handle that? I could contact her through facebook... a phone call seems inappropriate but what, do we meet over coffee or some shit?

all noted, for the record. If i could motivate myself to actually stop smoking pot and hit the gym i imagine i'd be a much happier person...c maybe i couldve forgotten about it or justified it to myself...

how old are you OP? and are you happy at the moment?(a lot of people try to find happiness in their children, please dont do that, thats a solid way to make your kid autistic)

>>17527585
Human beings are animals, and we are given a deep biological need at birth to want to pass on our own genes. What you're feeling is perfectly normal. Just don't let it rule your life and you'll be okay.

>>17527599
I'm in my early 20s and I'm actually about to get married. I am someome who has struggled with depression, but this is the happiest I've ever been honestly.

>>17527567
well its healthier if you sleep during the night. also, why dont you have to?

>>17527575
i got nothing going on.
Why is it healthier?

>>17527581
You need sun light to live healthy.
Just because you have nothing to do doesn't mean you should neglect your body.

>Sam is very shy and she's religious; admits to 'sinning' repeatedly which causes her some self-hatred but she wont admit to what it is
Aaaaaaaand into the garbage it goes. It's not worth it, don't stick your dick in crazy.

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>(Cont.)

Ask her out to dinner for my birthday last night. Shows up a little late but looking beautiful, gives me a very thoughtful gift with a cute message. During the night mentions a lot of stuff we should do when she gets back from her work trip (a coffee shop she thinks I'd like, films we should watch). Great meal, go spend the rest of the night in a bar talking and laughing and flirting.

Walk her home, stand outside her place. Talk a lot about her work trip. She's about to leave without kissing me, although after saying she had a great time. Kiss her, and then she says 'I have to go'.

Sam has never been very openly affectionate, and I have had to make all the moves, but last night seemed particularly distant, but only immediately after kissing her.

Willing to fully admit I am breaking all the rules, I have feelings for her and am probably developing some toxic oneitis currently. From what you have been told (and please ask for more info if required), did I ought to cut my losses now and save myself some pain?

Thanks for your insight.

Really don't see the super big cause for alarm here - she seems to really like you, but she's struggling with some inner things.

Don't just drop her for her "religious stuff", just stick with it till after her trip and see how interested she is after it.

It seems a bit early to say she's never going to be emotionally invested, she might be unwilling to show too much affection because her "sins" in the past might've been premarital sex that she let some guy have who she thought she could trust and then the fucker ran.

Just tread lightly.

It doesn't mean anything. She probably is a generally friendly girl, which is also why she didn't shut down your flirting.

>>17527486
Hugs mean literally nothing either way.

>>17527489
>>17527490
She's actually pretty shy, but fuck me anyway it got my hopes up

>>17527461
Your partner is fucking you. Talk to your professor and throw her under the bus before she does it to you, or just plain brings you both down.
Though, from the sound of it you are already fucked.

>she's been in the class longer than I have and has succeeded so far

What the fuck does this even mean, how do you start the same class at different times?

Also, she's been shady as fuck throughout the whole process. You should take this as an opportunity to learn how people will quite willingly fuck you over. The only choice you have left is whether or not you'll take it sitting down.

>>17527461
>>17527473
This guy again. I just remembered something similar that happened in high school for a history assignment.
We had a big essay due, but this one girl in my class didn't have it done yet a few days before. So, she asked someone else in our class to read over her essay for some ideas. They send her their essay, and they find out a few days later that she just put her name on it and turned it in as her own.

why do professors do this shit? Even when all parties actually pull their weight group projects create so much unnecessary stress. I know they say some shit like oh it prepares you for the real world but now that I've worked in an office and been on teams writing 100+ page reports it is absolutely nothing like the bullshit group projects I had to do in college since there's always a person assigned as the team lead who is actually your fucking boss until the project is completed.

Its been years since I left school but this thread brought back all the burning memories of how much I hated this shit. Anyway as to your question depending on the prof he might still shit on you saying that its your fault that you couldn't make your partner pull their weight...somehow. But frankly I think you should go speak to him in person and explain what happened and in the interests of accountability you need to let him know about your partner's lack of integrity and that you did not participate. If you don't raise this issue and it's later revealed that part of the paper is plagiarized (and if it's blatant the prof will spot it without question) things could become difficult for you. Many schools have a zero tolerance policy for plagiarism and will expel you on a first offense.

also, just out of curiosity what was your paper on?