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Anonymous
Dating emotionally distant girl 2016-09-03 08:03:29 Post No. 17527563
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Dating emotionally distant girl 2016-09-03 08:03:29 Post No. 17527563
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Start dancing a few months ago. See this one girl around, Sam, very cute but don't act on it. Barely talk.
Get good at dancing. Join performance group with Sam. Dance with her a lot as part of training and get talking, find we have a lot in common, she's very interesting and funny.
Share a long car journey together during which there's a lot of flirting, getting to know each other etc. After this night, begin to text a lot.
Go on a few 'hang outs' during which I stay comfortably in the friendzone. Go to the zoo, cook for her, go for coffee etc. Try nothing, feel frustrated.
One night go dancing and see her there. Lots of IOI's. At the end of the night tell her I need to do something and kiss her, she kisses back.
See her a couple more times the following weeks, but not in a date capacity; through dancing and social circle. Cold behaviour from her and no physical contact.
See her for big dance event that weekend, go somewhere private, grab and kiss her. Feels like a release of a lot of tension. Tell her I have feelings for her, and I need to know if the relationship is going anywhere. I get a 'you know I like you', but also some teary eyes and 'I'm not the great person you think I am'. Sam is very shy and she's religious; admits to 'sinning' repeatedly which causes her some self-hatred but she wont admit to what it is. I give her a hug and say we should go dancing. Have great night dancing and kiss at the end of the night, although notice when she hugs me she doesn't fully embrace me, but rests her forearms on my chest/collar bones, almost like trying to put up a physical barrier.
>(Cont.)
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>Sam is very shy and she's religious; admits to 'sinning' repeatedly which causes her some self-hatred but she wont admit to what it is
Aaaaaaaand into the garbage it goes. It's not worth it, don't stick your dick in crazy.
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>(Cont.)
Ask her out to dinner for my birthday last night. Shows up a little late but looking beautiful, gives me a very thoughtful gift with a cute message. During the night mentions a lot of stuff we should do when she gets back from her work trip (a coffee shop she thinks I'd like, films we should watch). Great meal, go spend the rest of the night in a bar talking and laughing and flirting.
Walk her home, stand outside her place. Talk a lot about her work trip. She's about to leave without kissing me, although after saying she had a great time. Kiss her, and then she says 'I have to go'.
Sam has never been very openly affectionate, and I have had to make all the moves, but last night seemed particularly distant, but only immediately after kissing her.
Willing to fully admit I am breaking all the rules, I have feelings for her and am probably developing some toxic oneitis currently. From what you have been told (and please ask for more info if required), did I ought to cut my losses now and save myself some pain?
Thanks for your insight.
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Really don't see the super big cause for alarm here - she seems to really like you, but she's struggling with some inner things.
Don't just drop her for her "religious stuff", just stick with it till after her trip and see how interested she is after it.
It seems a bit early to say she's never going to be emotionally invested, she might be unwilling to show too much affection because her "sins" in the past might've been premarital sex that she let some guy have who she thought she could trust and then the fucker ran.
Just tread lightly.
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>>17527576
Appreciate you telling me this, hadnt thought of that. But the 'I have to go' immediately after the kiss was frosty.
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Bumper.
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