Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 3443. page

>he's a pervert

How so?

>he's snuck around me before but never really went through with anything, he forgets about me when I'm not there and my trust has been cracked severely

He isn't a nice guy

>Do super sweet, extroverted men exist without secretly being deviants?

Yes, but they are a rare breed.

>On one hand, I'll have warmth and paranoia. On the other, I'll have a cold loyalty.

Your ex-boyfriend was a charmer and knew how to play games with you to keep you on the hook, was maybe a bit of a sociopath

Your new guy doesn't play games and is maybe a bit neurotic.

>>17737201
>How so?
He took inappropriate pictures of a girl who was living with him. She didn't know. I always thought he was above this, and he was freaked out about losing me when I found out. He also has expressed wanting to fuck other girls to me before and plays on the idea.

I've always kinda thought he might be a sociopath, one who just so happened to use his personality to some advantage. The other one is wonderful in his own regard, but neurotic does kinda fit. It's an early phase, but there's more awkward tension.

>>17737214
>It's an early phase, but there's more awkward tension.

Probably has everything to do with the fact that he said he's been burned before. He'll warm up to you, don't worry.

>He took inappropriate pictures of a girl who was living with him. She didn't know. I always thought he was above this, and he was freaked out about losing me when I found out.

God, what a fucking loser. Cut contact with him 100% if you haven't already.

>>17737181
you don't need a woman that understand you but you need a woman that doesn't need to be saved and independent. That type of woman is not attracted to needy and sure as hell put off if someone thinks she is broken and needs saving. You are insecure and don't believe a healthy woman would be attracted to you so you go for the broke ones. Stay away from the broke ones and start watching how the healthy ones act and modify your behavior.

>>17737188
I am independent and can support a partner. It's more that once I have somebody I never want them to leave. I want them to be with me and I struggle to find the balance of them having their own time to themselves without me having irrational thoughts of them being disloyal.

I really want a girl with issues because I want to be the one good thing in her life. I'll never leave her and I want to be a reason she keeps on trying in life.
If I'm honest.

I want someone to be dependant on me and I want to make them happy.

I'm aware I have issues...

>>17737208
>I want someone to be dependant on me and I want to make them happy.

You want them with no option out. If you really thought you were a good partner, you wouldn't need them to depend on you.

Make yourself someone worth loving first.

>>17737180

Do you drink too much when going out? That might play against you.

And if your dick works all right at other times, and it's only the nervousness what gets you, I'd say don't pop a pill. They mess your body up and you'll need the crutch forever.

>>17737180
>Couldn't get dick hard
>implying you can consciously control it
> theres your issue
> open your mind.

take lsd.

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>>17737192
I feel like my dick in general has something going on. I can get pretty hard erections if I'm jerking it most of the time, but somedays it won't even get that hard. And I definitely overthink about a lot of stuff. All the girls I've been with so far have experience and are probably used to fucking around, so I'm always worried about looking like a sperg. I have no problem talking to girls or dancing with them and shit, but I just cannot seal the deal when it matters.

Some other things. I was pretty overweight last year, and it really hurt my self esteem. I'm down like 60 pounds since last summer and close to my goal weight, but even when I was with this girl I still felt just as nervous about my body even though there was no issue.

The third and last thing is that I was an anti-social autist in highschool and was raised by a single mother. Part of me feels like I've had to teach myself a lot about girls on my own without the guidance of a father figure, and I'm not sure if that's the best position to be in.

I basically see sex as like the last step to becoming "normal" and I've basically made it a barrier in my mind.

Sorry that this turned into more of a vent. I'm just trying to find the reason for why this is happening. Because I would much prefer to beat this on my own without pills, but my patience and tolerance of embarassment are being stretched thin.

Besides physically being a hobgoblin, my mind is a wreck as you may have already guessed. I'm objectively very stupid, inept, uncoordinated, demented. I embody all the worst traits of my parents and they have all been amplified in me. My mother probably smoked and drank when she was pregnant.

I keep hearing that I should accept being this way and make do in the world and "contribute" to society and be part of a society that regards me as a freak, and participate at the lowest rung. Why don't you socialize? You want me to socialize with other freaks? When I speak with and look at people who could conceivably be regarded as my peers I feel terror and sadness because I see what I am. When I see people who are better than I am, I withdraw because I sense my inferiority and their higher station.

They are all simple minded and seemingly unaware of their defectiveness. I can't believe it. Why do these subhumans make the pretense of being human beings with any right to having emotions or existing in the world or, god forbid, bringing more defectives like themselves into the world.

I've spoken with the worst trash imaginable. Stupid, slack jawed people who can barely read, and they've treated me like a child. They've intimidated that I dont have basic reasoning or understanding, that I'm feeble and child like so they speak in that tone reserved for children and dogs. I feel like a person who is apparently in a vegetative state while the doctors and the family think about pulling the plug meanwhile I'm completely awake and aware, but somehow cant reach these people to tell them that I'm in fact conscious.

I understand that there is no real solution anymore. A long time ago I used to go through mental gymnastics to convince myself that it wouldn't always be this way or that I had some latent potential that I hadn't yet tapped. I'm just a late bloomer. That's what I kept telling myself, but eventually I realized that nothing of the sort was going to happen. Who I am is fixed. I cant get a new body or mind.

I feel immense pity for my fellow defectives who go through life lying to themselves and pretending that they are something other than what they are. I've seen the worst trash imaginable at middle age and above who are unaware of this or at least make the pretense of being unaware in their actions and words.

How they can believe otherwise is a mystery to me, but I assume it is a self-preservation mechanism. If they realized what they were fully and accepted it, then they might come to the conclusion that their lives had no value and that they should not reproduce, and maybe even kill themselves.

I'm glad I got through that stage relatively quickly before many decades of cognitive dissonance passed.

The title of this thread wasn't serious. I've already come to terms with it, but I needed a pretense to vent and post a wall of text. There is no accepting the unacceptable.

As edgy as it is, I really wish I was never born, and I am sad that people like me will continue to be born, but there is nothing I can do for them. I'm sad that because society and my parents weren't responsible enough to prevent me from coming into being I have to somehow find the courage - maybe one day - to make this hell stop, and if not I know what will be waiting for me, and it's not pretty. It will get worse.

>>17737160
>>17737175
You've very clearly convinced yourself of all this and just repeat these bad thoughts to yourself and see everything with these lenses you've made for yourself. But it's not true- you are clearly not stupid, stupid people cannot write as well as you do, you aren't your father, you are like your siblings- you can't see it, but you are. I really wish I knew how to help you but I don't, please try get some help and try to stop thinking like this, you're wrong about yourself.

>>17737135
Don't overthink it and if you feel too much pressure then let her know you're a virgin. There's nothing wrong with being inexperienced. It will be a much more pleasureful experience for both of you if you let her know and she's not an asshole.

>>17737135

Let me tell you a secret. When two people fuck together for the first time, there's no difference between a virgin, a guy who had sex once, a guy who had sex a couple of times with only one girl, etc.

So don't worry.


Now, about specific advice: Buy a box of condoms today and practice a bit. Maybe you already did, but it never hurts to give obvious advice.

Just lost mine two days ago at 21. If she's a good girl, she'll be very helpful. The girl I did helped me guide my dick into her and she was happy to show me some positions. Very fun experience.

Also one thing to note, she's been the initiator for pretty much everything. I had no expectations in doing her that day, but it just happened. That might have eased my nerves since I wasn't hyped for it. She also knows I was a KV before we had sex, so there's that.

You should respect the girl sucking your dick more. Measuring it while she is sucking it, is not ok and showing disrespect.

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>>17737079
I don't understand.

Why do you feel like you would need to tell her you're dick gets bigger if you're more aroused?

If a girl is sucking your dick and you're sitting there worried about your dick size, you've got an issue. She's already there getting busy, she's clearly attracted to you (which is far more important than your size). Stop getting hung up on your dong faggot.

>>17737057
Carry a mini-recorder or use your phone to dictate your brilliant ideas on the spot.

Stop smoking weed. You will discover that your idea was not that brilliant.

quit being ideas guy and start being execution guy

>>17737030
Example?

>>17737040
>be me
>be at work
>get called for a job over the other side of town
>never been to this site before
>Operator said she'd give me the details ASAP
>It's been an hour
>We have to be there within 45minutes
>Pick up the phone and call the operator
>"Listen, it's been almost an hour. You promised you'd send over those details but I haven't received anything yet. Can you pause your movie (can hear it in the background) and let me know what my job is for tonight"
>Get back to the office
>"Wow anon, you didn;t have to be so mean to her. You're an asshole you know"

>>17737053
Nah, that bitch deserved it. Take your new roll of being hated and run with it

scan groceries as bananas at the self checkout
swap price tags at charity shops
don't buy ready made food
don't get coffee
cycle everywhere
don't buy anything new
don't pay society memberships
don't go to bars drink at home with alcohol scanned as bananas but let others contribute thinking you paid full price

want more?

>>17737083
>don't buy ready made food
>don't get coffee
>cycle everywhere
>don't buy anything new
this tbqh

Especially the second one; I don't know how many idiots at my school got coffee 2-3x each day and probably wasted 6-10€ which could have been used for something more effective. The real moneykillers are the many, small purchases you do over time.

>>17737014
>always buy used textbooks
>never buy textbooks from college
^at least 2k
>live with your parents so you won't have to pay for room and board
^50k+
You could have saved some money by knocking out your prerequisites at a community college. Oh, and if you're planning on applying to a prestigious college, I recommend that you spend 3-4 years at a in-state college near your parent's house(MAKE SURE THE CREDITS ARE TRANSFERABLE)

>>17737001
Do it through Text?

>>17737019

I don't text my mom

Just tell her in person, if she will be happy for you who cares how she immediately fawns over you in private? Give the woman a break she had to wipe your arse and teach you how to use a spoon. Get over yourself.

You could go to an art convention by yourself. You could try to look like an art critic or artist stereotype for extra points.

For the love of bump

Join a small charity group. If you pick the right one you'll meet a bunch of nice people who will think you are also nice.

>>17736974
Chances are he doesn't want to marry you anymore when you are too old. It's getting critical for you, since you are already 27. Your parents just don't want you to get disappointed.

You wanted to move in together. The last step before marriage. You didn't want it because you have a decent job?? You are 27 years old 27... And how do you think you will get married? By installing yourselves in a position you will not get out of and will stop you from ever living together? Don't be stupid. Find a job close to him. Your fear of getting out of your comfort zone will eventually guarantee you will never get married. congratulations.

>>17736989
We are the same age and we love each other very much. He's mentioned he'd like to get married, and has talked about things like "if we have kids" etc. But not yet as he doesn't have much money now. Plus he's focused on getting his masters degree so he can get a good job.

I am in no rush to get married. I say as long as you enjoy your time with the person, whether married or not, it's no wasted.

>>17736970
Join the navy, i did for different reasons and there's alot of you guys here. Have to get that GED though

>>17737004
I thought about it but am grill and im very weak both physically and mentally. would there be a place for me there? what's it like?

Become a prostitute, i did for different reasons and there's alot of you girls here. Don't have to get that GED even.

Just be honest and text him that you had a good time but it's better if you guys stay as friends. If he ask why just tell him that you didn't felt a connection and don't fall for his crying if he begs for a chance. He sounds very clingy by trying to hold hands so early.

Na screw the above.

Be honest and say that you had fun if you did but you are not interested in a second date

Dont tell him you want to be friends because he wants to fuck you not watch girl films with you and cuddle

Guys might get hurt but they will take the honestly better than the fake friendship line in the long run.

Good luck

Tell him you're not interested in him. It'll be awkward but yeah, he clearly didn't get the vibe you got during the date. It's always better to be honest, I also recommend not staying friends with him because guys have a tendency to say they're cool with being friends but keep trying to flirt with you in the future

>>17736922
Stand up for yourself and tell her no.

>>17736922
>>she doesnt work

Tell her to go get a job. Oh and if you don't mind me asking, what are you majoring in?

I feel the same way too. I'm broke, jobless and living with my dad right now so my girlfriend has been paying for food when we go out. The guilt's been eating away at me. As a result I've been avoiding going out until I can get a job.

Um when she wants to go on a holiday does she expect you to pay for all of it? If she doesn't work how's she going to afford this?