Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 3436. page

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you want to bail on your pops for the possibility of getting laid? yeah. go ahead then. he deserves it for raising a son like you.

>prioritising a girl you barely know over your father
Unless you're estranged from your father, you're a shit son for doing this. Surely he didn't raise you like this.

>>17739321
Six months from now you won't even remember the girl's name. But you will feel bad forever for blanking your father.

>>17739296

My sister recovered from brain cancer just fine, but is around 70% blind, making her life difficult and an extreme chore to deal with. She's also remained incredibly immature, in a sickening child like way. When she entered middle school she began getting bullied quite often. Already having been home schooled while she was in recovery, my Mom opted to pull both of us out of school for fear of people being mean to us. I was 6 when this happened, and had only been in public school for about a year and a half. My education plummeted. My mother was buying me school work books from Walmart, which were better for use as supplementary material on top of real text books. My mother quit working to home school us, and they could only afford real text books for my sister.

My mother decided to spend her days not schooling us, but watching soap operas, cleaning the house and smoking a ton of pot. I was delegated to my room, being told to study when I hadn’t even been to school long enough to have a foundation of good habits. Each year usually ended with a push from my mother to finish up the books she had bought me for the year. It didn’t matter that I learned anything, just that the work was done. My dad worked 8 to 12 hour days for the post office to support all of us.

Due to our bankruptcy we were moving from rent house to rent house. This usually meant I shared a room and bed with my sister. When I was 6, we stayed up late one night and she spent hours explaining what sexual intercourse was to me. This eventually lead into a “Game” where we would strip and then she would make me dry hump her. No penetration ever happened. She convinced me to give her oral sex once. This continued for a year, only stopping after my sister made an offer for full penetration. I got uneasy and at that point the advances stopped.

>>17739301

I am pretty disgusted with her, as she continues to act like it all never happened. I'm unable to take any sisterly love from her as innocent. I didn't tell anyone that it had happened until I was an adult.

Life was uneventful for awhile. Moving on to high school, I was given the same kind of test-by-mail schooling my sister had used, which was incredibly difficult for me to grasp due to the poor foundation I had. My Mom continued to sit on the other end of the house, watching TV and smoking pot. I developed a liberal political view due to my musical tastes, which clashed with my mother’s conservative, Fox News watching Christian fundamentalism. Cliché, I know, but these are the facts.

The problem is, I was never vocal about my disapproval. This was difficult, growing up where she outwardly worshiped God as I became an atheist, bashed gays while I discovered I was bisexual, and this would happen on a daily basis. What little love my mother showed me in my younger days was eroded in my mind as I saw her bigotry. She outwardly hated me without knowing it, and she still doesn’t know.

>>17739303

Now I have to talk real quick about my father. He was an aspiring musician growing up that had his dreams dashed by the responsibility he put himself in when he knocked up my mother. He immediately buckled down and started working as much as he could cuz’ it’s what he had to do. A long lasting depression from this, coupled with nerve damage in his back lead to him abusing Vicodin in my teen years. It made everything worse. My mother lost any sexual interest in him, and he began cheating on her. He mostly kept it out of the house at least, but one fourth of July weekend he mixed his Vicodin and alcohol and felt up one of my Mom’s friends.

A few weeks later, my mother came to me and told me “You’re almost 18, so we’re gonna get a divorce.” This floored me, as I didn’t know there were problems before this point. Having lost what little normalcy I had in my family freaked me out. I tried to keep out of it, as I was following in my father’s footsteps as a musician, practicing every day with the hopes of getting into a band. A friend offered me up as a replacement in a blues band. I was 18 playing in a band of 40+ year old men, so it was really awkward and not quite my thing. But I wanted to make my Dad proud, because he played blues.

It came time that I had a show to play, and him and my mother were in the deepest midst of their fighting. My mother left the state to live with friends for about a month, and the fighting only worsened when she returned. The night before my first gig, my Dad was watching my practice session when my Mom called him to argue. He went home, incredibly upset. I don’t know what the fight was about, but my Dad told me when I got home he wouldn’t go to the show. I was really unsure of how to respond to any of this, so I just said okay. The morning when I left he hugged me and told me he loved me.

Personality bud, you can be the best looking guy on earth but if your personality is all weird and insecure, girls are going to be confused by you and they'll misinterpret your actions.

Get out there and meet people, don't look for a gf so hard. Love should come when you least expect it.

>>17739305
how would these girls even know my personality?

im not going out type, i dont have any hobbies and i hate clubs and bars

also hardly any money for travel, all my money goes to myself and car and house

>>17739322

That's why you can't get women. You're a shut-in, you're eccentric, you don't understand basic human interaction.

Your friend should go to the police. The altercation that started everything is a matter of he said / she said and will be laughed off by the police, but what they did to him is illegal and since there's evidence, they'll get what's coming to them.

>>17739268
I love this board

>>17739268
can you link this video? We could say if it's illegal enough to go to police with it

What's too young here? How old are you? How old is she?

>>17739231
Not gonna say but extremely inappropriate gray area but nothing too bad

>>17739234
> extremely inappropriate
> nothing too bad

Huh? Need more info to give advice

why tf are you asking this question with a picture of bigfoot?

>>17739201
I'm the opposite, rings and hints at a SO completely turn me off.

those are both difficult questions. are you generally an envious person?

that sucks anon, what a shitty feeling

but maybe you should talk about it with your friends

can't really see this getting solved otherwise

>>17739208
He told me "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, but I'm here for ya."

I know what will happen though if I tell him "The way E says shit bothers me, makes me feel like I'm not wanted there. Feels shitty. So unless if they specifically invite me, don't even mention you're doing anything with them. I'd rather not know. And when you read that text to me saying "Bring anon if you want." really put the nail in the coffin. It very obviously meant to only invite me if you have to."

He'll basically tell them that they need to invite me to shit and that will only make me feel worse, because I'll know that the only reason they're inviting me is so I don't feel like shit.

>Like, I don't even know what resolve I'm seeking
I just want to stop feeling like a burden. I want to be around people I feel genuinely like being around me. I'm not cringey or weird. I'm vulgar, I curse a lot, but I don't feel like that ultimately makes someone unbearable to m

Because they obviously don't give a shit enough to invite me to things. And I don't want to be there if I'm not wanted, but I have no opportunities to make new friends unless if I just happen to hit it off with someone next semester.

>>17739219

Dude in a nutshell youre literally creating the problem. If they didnt want you around they wouldnt invite you, period.

Get over the fact youre not a special fucking snowflake where everyone just cant wait to see you and wants to be around you every second. Youre an alright dude, so are your friends, and thats totally ok.

Look from their view, clearly this is an ongoing issue. They chill with you, you always seem all moody and untrusting and acting like Igor from fucking winnie the pooh. But hey, clearly, they still like you, because they keep hanging out with you! They sent an additional text to invite you out. If they typed "want to see if anon wants to come" it might sound all faggy and weird, so they type "invite him if you want" to sound more uncaring and cool. They like you and your company.

The moral of the story is they want to look cool, we all do. But today being cool means not giving a fuck about anything, or at least presenting that image despite everyone knowing its a gay ass game no one even likes. Just chill out bro. Youre good. They like you. You just have your guard up and they see that and it makes THEM unsure if you like them, which is making them put their guard up (ie: how they word texts, trying to act 'cool'), which cycles around to making you put your guard up more etc etc

Hope this sums it up. TLDR its in your head youre fine bro.

>>17739175
By realizing that it isn't true (at least the last part). Depression and loneliness are things you struggle with, not who you are. No matter what regrets you have about the past, they can never touch your worth as a person. Now your task is to find a way forward.

>>17739175

By sucking it up and doing something about it? Work out and get fit. Find some hobbies besides vidya/tv/electronics. Save some money and go travel on your own. Change your lifestyle bro, no one is going to do it for you. If you wanna make big changes itll take big efforts so get to it. Make a list of what you want in life. And for each item, a checklist of how you will achieve it. Then every day, to help combat procrasination and bullshitting yourself, you will have a checklist of things you must do, THAT DAY, NO EXCEPTIONS - or else no internet for you. Hang your lists on the wall if you must - you made a fucking deal with yourself that youre going to improve your life and you will stick to it.

Or, if you dont think thats possible, just kill yourself. Rotting away in misery like you have been for the last decade is the worst option. Either decide to kill yourself, TODAY, or decide that you believe in yourself despite how shit lifes been, and that youre going to change your stars, TODAY. Not later, not tomorrow, TODAY. Make up your mind.

Once you choose the path, theres no turning back. You will have hard times, points where you catch the "fuckits", but remind yourseld, you made that fucking deal and youre going to overcome because you made up your mind that you still have the will to live. And if you have that, then you need to make your life one thats worth living.

Hope this helps anon. Ive been at rock bottom, i i know how tough it is. But you gotta choose a path TODAY. No more putting it off. If lifes too horrible, then stop the suffering and end it. If you still have that tiny sliver of hope, then start making those baby steps to becoming the man you want to be.

I believe in you anon. Go tear this shitty world a new asshole.

>>17739185

I've gone through this so many times. It may work for a month or two, but pulling myself up by my bootstraps eventually wears me out and I end up back here. It's happened to me over and over again dozens of times and there's been so many false starts it's hard for me to not just believe I'm weak and stupid and hopeless.

>>17739168
everybody here is better off dead anyway so no you're the only one

>being on 4chan
>doesnt want to die
kys

Welcome to being a human. This will literally stay with you you're whole life. If you start panicking just focus on your breath while breathing in for three seconds, holding it for the second then exhaling for three seconds, repeat until you calm down

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By brother in law died earlier this year (he was 26), and my dad died a week ago today. My sister in law lost a baby, and another girl I know lost her full term baby when the cord wrapped around his neck. Death is around every corner, and I move through life acutely aware of that. This has been the worst fucking year.

>>17739161
I haven't since the 15th of October. Got out of a confusing as fuck relationship and haven't really thought about anything sexual since. Coincidently, I was just talking about this an hour or so ago with a friend. Maybe I'll bust one tonight.

>>17739161
It sounds like a case of samata.

Nothing wrong with it if you don't feel like doing it.

no
but you're limited to a blue collar trade, preferably with a vocational school
or start your own business
college opens up a lot of doors, it's up to you to decide if the tuition is worth it wherever you go.

if you get a degree, you will always be better than those who dont have one. also the fun experience. you go and learn and interact with colleagues. hit the local bar.

for example a pharmacist makes 80k but a pharmacist technician makes 25k.

do you want to be manager some where some day? thats the best you can do. or you can learn to drive a forklift. easy money.

late 20s adults end up going to school for work program certificates at your local community college. they basically teach every job in your state.

>>17739154
You absolutely do not need college and it would probably give you debt that you would feel pressured to pay off. That's a horrible feeling. It also traps you into NEEDING to find a decent paying job, which would add stress that is unneeded.
I believe stress causes cancer, so fuck that.
In my opinion, if you don't want college, good for you.
Spend that time teaching yourself something you want to learn. Or by doing nothing more than exploring and partying and learning about yourself.
Either way, you'll come out debt-free and as a more balanced human.
If that's what you care about attaining, at least.

I have no idea what I'm reading but do it

>>17739102

This is depressing, your entire relationship has been dictated by her, you have no security in it and you're just being strung along until she decides she has had enough. Honestly your first red flag should have been when she initially told you she doesn't feel the same about you, that's a massive deal and I would have ended things right then and there. Don't be so scared of losing someone who doesn't respect and love you enough to be with you, you're only hurting yourself with this behaviour.

Also anything you want to know and ask, you can direct to her, no one here is going to know what she means or what she is thinking except her. Be direct and just say "so you don't want to be together anymore?" and respect her decision and move on.

You're living a tortured existence, I'm sure this weighs on your mind a lot, any time you have a disagreement you would worry she will break up with you, you put in more effort to try to make her happy and start neglecting any of your needs not being met in the relationship.

OP, I'm sorry, is a fucked up situation when you cant discuss things in person. I'm sure you will talk about whatever made her write you that message. Since is better to wait for what she has to say, i wont comment further. But if you want to talk, please answer with your kik or some way to reach you. CHIN UP

>>17739116
That las paragraph was the most accurate I have to admit
But I am very afraid of that happening . This girl took my away of nasty places and so did I took her out. I've been in several relationships before, and this bond is the true and maximum representation of love to me. I just don't want her to leave me, it sounds selfish because maybe she isn't happy with me (she sweared lots of times she would neber leave me and that she was the happiest woman at my side) . I don't really know, I am preety sure that when we wake up she wont want to tell me about the thing. I don't want to ask her if she wants to end me because myself can't even stand the idea of her dumping me, The person I am now, my profession, my life, everything has been dedicated to her and motivated by her for me do it, for me to live.

you've got a mom don't you? jesus christ no wonder you're alone

There is no such s thing.
It will always depend on who you are kissing. We all like different things.
When you kiss the person will see what they like, they 'll either tell you or give you signs. What ive learn so far is that you always mirror the person. Intensity and movemnts

Push and pull op. Should be 40/60 60/40 back and forth with the occasional break into 30/70. Also half of it is what you're doing with your hands.

>>17739077
Ur fine m80

you didn't get a ticket. you won't get a ticket. delete the thread there's a good lad

>>17739083

Ok good. I was worried I totally misread the situation and he was giving me a ticket anyway. If he didnt bring my license to his car, is it impossible for him to process a ticket?