Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 3446. page

Keep in mind, I don't have a single ounce of hope in my mind of finding a 'replacement' or another lover. I've accepted this part of it. However, I was thinking for awhile that maybe I could help fill the void with family-like friends, but with my strange personality, developing said relationships doesn't seem likely.
I'm very slowly accepting the fact I'm doomed to feel lonely no matter what I do at this point, considering everything I've lost.

Here's where I want advice: What should I do from here?
I've started doing a lot of things that I normally wouldn't. I raced one of my managers in my car, tried going on a rollercoaster and other rides, picked up hobbies I've never had any interest in, going to the gym more, finding different ways of handling my social life, going hiking, going fishing, doing work on my own car, having sex with someone casually, the list goes on.
Although I've found a few new hobbies I enjoy (Poetry, drawing, ...), it's not helping my depression at all.

I'm at a loss of what to do at this point. I'm trying so many new things, and that's okay, but nothing is helping at all.
I've found I gain at least some happiness by sharing what wisdom I do have with others, but it's also extremely draining to invest into someone like that, so it's not realistic to think of me doing that as a primary way to fend off my loneliness.


tl;dr: I have no family, or close friends. I'm trying to fill the void. What can I do, aside from the typical "Do things" advice, which I've been desperately trying.

>>17736280

You're fortunate to even be able to talk to your ex.

Find new friends and stop being an ass - whatever you did to frighten people obviously didn't work out too well.

>>17736287
I wouldn't call it fortunate, entirely. It's extremely bittersweet, and while there are upsides to it, there's also plenty of downsides of keeping in contact. For both of us, in fact.

>Find new friends and stop being an ass
I've been finding new people to talk with though. I have maybe 5 new people on the side that I'm investing myself into to see where it goes, and maybe help them with life a little. It just doesn't stop me from having extremely long panic attacks from feeling alone.

And yes, what I did to scare everyone was pretty bad, but that's not 'normal me' at all. I don't consider myself an asshole, and I don't feel others do as well (Although, obviously, people won't be calling me a asshole if they care to keep me around, even if they were to be honest).
I just don't know. The psychosis I went through at the time is a extremely poor example of who I am. Even back then, I was more of a unhealthy person, but what I did was quite a jump from my normal sick mentality.

Thank you for the post, but I'm not really sure it applies to my specific situation. I'm sorry.

can you reduce your hours first? ask if you can work one or two shifts a week

>>17736266

The job is unionized and the scheduler refuses to give me less shifts because it's against union rules. I'm higher seniority, and people with higher seniority are supposed to get more shifts because it's what we all want apparently.

>>17736259

In order:

1. Improve time management. For example, study on your break periods.

2. Seek help with your school work. Tutoring, essay extensions, etc.

3. Get a different, more convenient job with better hours.

>>17736226

>i kind of have a crush on a co-worker,
>also very qt guy.
>just don't know how to keep my feelings in check

So... you are sending him mixed signals.

Poor fuck. This is why decent guys get tired of us femanons.

Stop that shit and leave him alone. Or perhaps consider why you are doing that (current relationship no good?) and do the right thing, break up with current bf, wait a bit, and talk to co-worker?

>>17736238
but i'm already doing the bare minimum of contacting him. all he really knows about me is that i'm especially awkward around him.
he's the one who constantly approaches me.

my current relationship is fine i guess; it can be stressful sometimes because of the distance and money. he also has some form of depression. none of these are really anyone's fault, life just happened and we're trying to make this work. he loves me like crazy.

it wouldn't feel right to me to stop my relationship with my boyfriend. it's almost like, if i can't commit to this, then can i really commit to anything?

i just need to get this guy to be ok with being friends or get myself to fade these feelings off.

>>17736226
OP, is this going to be a long term coworker, or short term? How cute /10 is he? How big /10 is your crush?

>>17736180

Never seen a place take rent by the week.

Since you have the internet, maybe... google it for the area you're looking at?

yes you can be a waiter

yes use google and research a little bit

save up a couple months worth of rent first if you can

>>17736180

Look up postings for people with rooms to let.

They're probably going to do it monthly, though.

>>17736145
It's pretty standard for men of all ages to find women in their early 20's, as this is demonstrably the age in which their attractiveness (read: fertility) peaks.

Whether or not you should pursue said attraction is another story. Most of them are not very secure or mature individuals. Hot yes, but at your age, good luck finding someone who can relate to you at 22 vs 32.

>>17736155

I'm 26 and regularly hook up with 18 and 19 year olds.

But I also dress pop punk like a teenager (skinny jeans, skate shoes, flannels, snapbacks, stretched lobes.) I also longboard and play guitar.

i fucked this girl who only dates older guys. she was 22 or 23 when we hooked up and dating a dude in his mid - late 50's. i dont even get what they would talk about. she's dating a younger guy now but hes still at least 45 and shes a few years older.
i get it from the guys perspective i guess but not hers. even from the guys idk, having sex is one thing but an actual relationship seems really odd

>>17736086

That one friend is not your friend.

Your other friends might still be your friends.

>>17736098
No I contacted them to ask and they all said yes.

>>17736098
Also forgot to mention they are all very close friends and I will say I've done some and said some pretty stupid stuff in the past.

Only once you've lost everything you're free to do anything. Just depends on how you define everything

>>17736079

Hypothetically, your family could be abusive assholes, and you have no choice but to take yourself out...

But probably not. Do you have a terminal painful illness? Go for it.

Do you want to be happy again? Suicide just means you die. You don't get happy again. I wouldn't suggest it if that's the case.

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If you have a loving family, yes. I've never been suicidal but imagining the pain my mother and father would feel if I died scares me more than dying.

>>17736041

>I try doing the exact same and girls just get creeped out by me

You're going to have to be more specific than that. If you want answers to your problem you have to give us some information to go off of.

>>17736041
>How do I change?

What do you do that turns people off you?

>>17736048
I have no idea. I'm trying to gain some insight by getting high and meditating but nothing much is coming to mind. I don't consider myself unconfident or anything

>>17736022

Not being gay, I might not be qualified to help. But knowing about girls rejecting me, I might :P

Don't make someone the center of your life. No one can live to that expectation, or even handle it.

Let's ignore for a second whether or not she'll reciprocate (she won't):

Live your life for you. If you don't love yourself, others can't do it.

most women are heteroflexible so may as well take a shot

>>17736033
Is there any way to say this to her, but keep things cool between us? She won't accept such a thing and I know it. But I'm not sure she would believe me if I said I won't pursue any reciprocation.

Doctor.

I had the same problem once when I was like 10 years old, doc told me to drink cranberry juice, but that shit nasty as fuck so didn't drink it. I don't have any actual advice I just felt like taking time to write this

>>17735997

You have a disease called: go see a doctor.

>>17735990
You try different shit till you find something you like. To make the start a bit easier, what did you enjoy doing as a kid? What do you still enjoy doing?

>>17735990

you cant really..to really find something you have to go with the flow without fighting it and letting life give stuff to you

>>17735990

Find some cool shit. Keep doing that cool shit until you die.

You are correct that general is the highest. 10 ranks.

Why try to make something you know nothing about?

>>17735952

wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_Army_enlisted_rank_insignia

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_Army_officer_rank_insignia

> 30 k with no benefits

How the fuck did you pull this sad sack of crap of a salary? I took a year off after high school and was pulling 32 k with full benefits at a factory insulation plant.

Get your shit together man that is pathetic.

You could always move to a country where the workers aren't totally cucked.

40h? 45h? 50h? What the fuck, man. Why are Amerifats okay with this?

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>>17735940

>You could always move to a country where the workers aren't totally cucked.

Did you just use the word "cuck" to describe the work industry?

>>17735926

Depends on the person.

I've had people die and I haven't been there, and until this thread, hadn't thought about it.

People are hung up on "oh if only I'd told them" - if the dead didn't know you cared, why the fuck did they interact with you?

or "oh the last thing I did was be mean" as if being nice could excuse a lifetime of shitty behavior - and they don't care anymore anyway, as they're dead

If you're going to torture yourself for "not being there" whatever that means, go visit. Did your uncle ask to see you? Were you close?

People are dying all the time. Would your uncle want you to be sad and not party? There's a time for a moment of silence... and then there's a time for dinner. And later, a time for dancing.

Does that help?

>>17735939
Thank you. He's the last surviving member of my dad's side of the family, so I see what's left of my dad in him which makes this even more painful. I suppose I should wait to see if he improves at all and make my choice to visit then.

>>17736037

You could call and ask, too.

We are all selfish and you are worried about your guilt... but have you considered maybe he wants to die in peace, doesn't want people (or maybe only intimate friends/wife or something) to see him, or maybe is hopped up on medically pure painkillers and just doesn't give a shit?

also my gpa is currently a 3.9 and I've taken all the lower div math classes

I'm teaching myself analysis and algebra on my own in preparation for next year, obviously I need to do well, but assuming I do, how probable is transferring to an elite school?

Understand that these top tier schools get thousands of transfer applications and only admitting below 10%. This means not only must your grades be stellar but your extracurricular but having a respected professors back you up is essential. A 3.9 gpa isn't enough to get in...I hope you know that anon.

How is your essay coming along anyway?

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>>17735925
>a 3.9 isn't enough

but that's 1 b for every 9 a's...

what the fuck man, time2killself

No essay, it's a year and several months away. I need to focus on testing out of the dumb pre req's that are required, and really doing extremely well in my rigorous classes at the BigStateU next year.

What kind of extracurriculars do they want to see?