Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 2991. page

>>17889486
job house car long term relationship kids retirement death

Growing up and getting old.

going to heaven hell or limbo

>>17889481
Just get to know her and do your best. If you get anxiety before/during sex, try to forget about it in the heat of the moment or drink a beer/take a xanax if you need a crutch of some sort. God speed

>>17889481
Also don't immediately think about sex when you're talking to her because you might get nervous

Do you guys have some tips to be smooth in bed?

you're fast-tracking yourself to cirrhosis and a fuckton of other problems if you continue to drink 40+ drinks in a week
like i'm not saying it's bad, but i'd place bets that you wouldn't make it to 50

>>17889476
>1 bottle per month is bad

>>17889516

More like 4

>>17889409

I'm not a fucking retard, so I told her right away, 'Fuck that, I'm coming to get you,' but she never responded by telling me where she was. There was nothing I could do about it, but I wasn't going to let this shit stand, so when she got home the next day, I made it clear that I was going to fucking ruin her, that I didn't believe for a second that she didn't cheat on me, and that I was going to get to the bottom of this shit while she was locked in the damn room, and word one of complaint was going to result in the end of the relationship.
And she complied with everything, was apologetic in the extreme, and vowed never to make the mistake of drinking too much again.
And true to my word, I sniffed this shit out as much as I fucking possibly could. I asked at least a dozen people, called friends of hers I had never spoken to before, rifled through her phone records and chat logs, and seriously did everything I could, and turns out, she was being honest.
She didn't cheat, she didn't even really talk to him after he walked her to her ride.
She did confess to me that she thought about whether or not she could get away with it, and she said that if we had been in an open relationship, she'd have gone for it, but she knew we weren't, and she would never do anything to hurt me and all that.
So, honestly, I just didn't have any proof. I still don't know what to believe, to be honest. It's just that if I act on it, I don't have proof, and I'll be considered illogical and paranoid, right?
So, our relationship continued, with me biding my time for when her house of cards finally falls and I can tell everyone I fucking told them so, and it just...hasn't.
Like, we're back to being happy, and she's been really sweet, we've gone on vacations together, and we're talking about the future.
Cont again.

>>17889420
Except she still talks to him. Sparingly, still, yeah, but she does. And they talk about shows or shitty little etsy products or whatever standard crap that regular 'friends' would talk about.
I know that he's still at least physically interested in her, because he's made mention of it to her before, which she showed me in an effort to be trustworthy, but as far as I can prove, she hasn't fanned the flames at all, and is honestly just an innocent friend to him.
That being said, I still find the situation untrustworthy. I've told her since then that her still talking with him makes me feel like shit, and she should watch what she says to him or does with him, but that I don't want to lock her in a tower and tell her she can't have a friend.
Since then, she's sometimes less trustworthy than normal. Like, she'll get texts and then hide her phone from view. I've brought it up before, but she asserts that everything's on the level, and she's just hiding it from me because she worries that I'll be angry at them 'just being friendly', and she doesn't want to hurt my feelings over nothing. I'm not sure if I believe that.
I've told her that if I ever get proof that she lied, I'm going to ruin her, and I've also said that if this 'friendship' ever gets too bothersome to me, I'm going to give her the ultimatum to choose between this 'old friend' or me. But I haven't actually issued that ultimatum yet.

So, am I full of shit? Am I paranoid, or are my suspicions correct and I'm just not looking hard enough? Should I make the ultimatum now, and get her to stop talking to him forevermore, even though I may not have any logical reason or proof for it?
Or could she actually be being honest, and I'm just not appreciating the actually really nice relationship we have?

Recent occurrence that gave me cause to bring this up:
The guy broke his leg and so hasn't been able to work for a while, so is losing money. (It's frustrating that I know this much about his life through her.) So he started selling off some stuff through ebay, which my girlfriend found out about probably directly from him, so she bought a pair of earrings he had made himself.
I caught her writing out a check and letter to him, and asked what she was writing, to which she replied, "A check," and then for what, to which she replied, "Earrings."
I'm not retarded, so I figured out what was happening, and later that day brought up that they wouldn't come in time for Christmas, and that spending a lot of money on your ex-boyfriend is kind of fucked up. Turns out they were $20, but she gave him $25, because what's 5 dollars between friends, right?
Anyway, me telling her that I wanted to make sure she wasn't being extorted caused her to become so pissed off at me, she didn't want to speak to me for the rest of the night, which let me know that I had definitely hit a nerve.
Then, today, on Christmas, I scooped her chat history, and found that she has only said Merry Christmas to one single person, him, of course.

I'm not crazy, right? This is some shit I need to stomp out or leave behind, isn't it?

Bumping for interest

>>17889357
The girl Im seeing is alot like this minus the whole anexiety and rage problems. I believe her to be a keeper. In your case though, unless you can fix some of those redflags I believe you should really reconsider your relationship.

>>17889357
Ahhh, I'll play too.

Pros
>I never get bored with him - very smart, funny, nice to talk to
>Best friend I've ever had
>Loyal
>Always have been a perfect boyfriend
>Puts effort into growing as a person
>Very affectionate physically
>Cute face
>Takes care of his appearance
>Loves pleasing me in bed
>Very ambitious and hardworking
>Tidy
>Kind
>Decent cook
>Romantic
>Supports me and loves me
>Shares/supports my interests
>My family loves him
>Great circle of friends, my friends like him too

Cons
>Doesn't make much money at the moment
>Easily angered
>Arrogant
>Judging
>Complains a lot
>Is mildly uninterested in sex
>Short
>Can be socially awkward
>His family hates me

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>>17889307
Yes, you stupid faggot. RIGHT NOW>

Its not supposed to hurt if you do it right.

>>17889401
Not all girls are the same.
>>17889307
It took mine like a month before we could try again but it was easy after that. Give her time OP.

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>>17889291

>LDR

Do people still believe in this meme? Shit ain't gonna work, she is most likely getting dicked by someone else while cucking you into submission by buying a goddamn ring.

>>17889297
No my dude this is /adv/ not /pol/.

>>17889297
fucking /thread
>LDR
>I bought her a ring to show my commitment
>So she started an argument
How much more writing on the wall do you need?

I have overactive bladder syndrome. I'm in physical therapy and I take oxybutinin every day.

My urologist says IC doesn't exist. What exactly did yours say?

I'm concerned that I'm developing this from lupus. Also a guy. Suckssss

>>17889322
It does exist lol. When the doctor said there was no cure i was like fuuuck youre joking. I just piss a lot and have constant urges to go. They confirmed the diagnosis by seeing that symptoms improved after avoiding certain foods

hang around with "toxic" people online or irl, after months of fucking with each other its p easy to find comebacks for normal people

>>17889247
Watch comedians deal with hecklers, Don Rickles is particularly brutal while I like Kyle Cease's history of snappy comebacks.

They're experts at dealing with assholes.

>>17889247
Prepare them in advance.

Oscar Wilde would steal friends' clever lines and pass them off as his own. Winston Churchill practiced his quotable lines in the bath. Groucho Marx had a gag-writer and Bob Hope had a whole staff. Every stand-up comic has a collection of put-downs for hecklers so they don't have to think up one on the spot.

>>17889228
if it's not obvious she probably doesn't even think about you, let alone like you

>>17889246
yeah so how do i change that

Bumparooney

Talk to a psychologist. Most universities offer psychological counseling services for free. Even if you don't think there's anything intrinsically wrong it never hurts to talk to someone who wants to help people's mental problems.

>>17889188
I go to a therapist. She helps me and tells me that I have a lot of really good qualities that make me a valuable person to society and other people's lives. I think she's a really good person, but I want to gauge the opinions of more average and shallower people to confirm my suspicions. Not only is she a good person, but she knows who I am which is why she has a good opinion of me. Other people don't because of how I look and that's frustrating.

>>17889198
If you're so concerned with how people see you upon their initial approach, start lifting. Impressing people with your skills/talents still requires them to have an inceptive interest in you in the first place, which it appears you lack. Working on your physique will not only make you look better to yourself, but also to others.

How is it dating if you aren't having sex?

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>>17889140
> Is it alright?
It is IF both parties are going into the sex knowing that it is a casual thing, and that you are dating multiple women.

If you start lying, promising them commitment in order to get into their pants, then no, it is not right.

Do you see the difference?

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>>17889203
>fuck society.jpg

If you're old enough to post here you're too old to care about Christmas presents

>>17889136
They're probably tight for money you ungrateful cunt. Also first port best post, come back when you're 18 op.

No one in my family bought any Christmas presents for anyone this year. It's just pointless when we already have everything we really want/need. I prefer buying things for myself anyways because that way I can make sure to get exactly what I want.

This past election cycle brought a lot of these topics up in the news so all the normalfags have become staunch racists against white people. Basically you're gf has become a self hating white person. It's fucked but there really isn't a cure for that being that easily manipulated. If you try to tell her any of this shell call you a racist.

Break up, you'll be saving yourself in the long run.

But if you really wanna make things work, then argue. Healthy couples can argue politics without it ruining their relationships. If she's starting a debate, then debate back. If she gets to talk about her beliefs, so do you. If she can't handle it, then well, she's not very mature and you don't have a healthy relationship.
Problem is, SJWs often cannot handle anyone disagreeing with them in the slightest. Hell, just had an argument with my SJW sister a few hours ago and she ran away in tears the second I told her that the "wage gap" is just an earnings gap created by the majority of women's decisions to quit their jobs to start families. She always runs from arguments if you ever dare to confront her with her bs. I digress.

Either way, your options are to sit quietly and suck it up while she spews her shit to keep the peace, break up now and get it over with because you're incompatible, or fight back and see if on the off chance she'll be a rational SJW who can actually have an adult argument and not let it ruin her relationships.

>>17889128
she wants attention

>>17889125
>Why does it take a long time to improve your personality and "grow" as a person?
it usually doesn't unless you're a really shitty person

>>17889125
Because being a better person isn't easy and takes work. Nearly everything that's worth having takes work and effort. Keep it up anon and one day you'll get the benefit of looking back and being glad you took the time.

>>17889168
I know I'm not a good person. But even my mom said changes don't happen overnight. Plus I like the way I do things so I guess it makes it harder for me to change