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anyone has advise for someone wanting to move out of their parents house and renting a room? I'm a 22 year old with an alright tech position at 35k expecting to make more in the future, planning on spending 500-800 a month. I'm basically a social hermit but can talk to anyone normally if needed without it feeling forced. I don't drink/smoke/drugs or make much noise. I'm also a full time job/college student, so I won't actually be there for 5 days out of the week, only for sleeping. I'm a fatass, but I am very clean with everything I dp so I hope that doesn't actually ruin some good opportunities.
I want to know some red flags when it comes to finding a room for rent. The last thing I want to worry about is getting scammed or getting kicked out by a building landlord despite paying my rent and shit. I have some experience with Craigslist with buying/selling cars on there, but the housing market there seems like a different monster.
any and all advise is welcomed
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Depending on where you live, 500 seems too low and you'll likely have shitty neighbors, aka niggers. The higher the rent the less niggers. Try to stake out some apartments you have interest in and see what the noise level is like. Also apartments closers to schools will obviously have more kids around. Reviews online can get you a good idea of how fast maintenence is, but it's not always accurate in most people's negative comments. Almost all online reviews about apartments will be negative so don't make your judgement based solely on them. Things add up quickly at first, so have a bit saved for your first month's rent, deposit into an electric account, application fees and maybe a parking sticker if you have that option. Renters Insurance is great as it might cover your car if broken into if you don't have full coverage.
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>>17885875
>planning on spending 500-800 a month
Where do you live that you think you can spend that little on rent?
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>>17886002
north east jersey
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At what age do you settle down.
I feel kinda lost. At 22 I am about to get my accounting license, just got myself a decent position (big 4 senior), I moved out and pay all my stuff, I might get a car soon.
What worries me is I don't have any long time plan, I don't have a GF and I am still too autistic to search one.
I compare myself a lot to people from my promo, I feel like I am doing the most average. Guys of my age already marrying or with kids, girl of my ages already married to 30-somethings with money.
I feel like I am just a fool screwing around. Home prices worry me a lot too, buying a house seems unrealistic unless I get a solid partner (ie WIFE). Maybe I'd like to work abroad in my current firm by applying to US or something like that.
People have told me that I put too much pressure on myself, but if you don't then who else will?
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>>17885870
>married with kids at 22
Why would you ever want this?
Go OP, you're still young, enjoy your life. Get money, work around the world, have a ball. You can worry about marriage and all that later
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>>17885870
Its good you're comparing yourself to others because now you see where you need to improve. It bad if its holding you back though. Live your life, do what makes you happy.
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>>17885877
DO NOT do this OP either get a good wife now, or work on a career and get a good early 20s wife when you are in your early thirties
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I just remembered that this 16 or 17 year old guy made out with me and touched me intimately a lot when I was 11 in the paediatric hospital. Does this mean anything? I've been repressing it for a long time.
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>>17885843
Congrats. You are gay
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>>17885845
No, I'm a girl. I was in there because I tried to kill myself and he was in there because he had fell on his scooter
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>>17885849
Did you enjoy it?
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Can you remain in contact or be jist friends with your ex gf?
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Why would you want to do that?
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>>17885828
Cuz love
Cuz loneliness
Cuz no friends
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My ex and i mutually broke up as we both realised it wasnt going to work out. We're now fuck buddies for the last two months.
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What do I do?? I really need your guys' help. My mom is in her mid 50's and everything I get her she bitches about it. What should I get a mid 50's woman? Please help me out.
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my mom is 55 i got her a tiny santa doll for christmas she liked it so much she vomited
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>>17885807
fuck her with jingle bells on ya cock
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>>17885807
Chocolate, flowers. A handmade coupon to take her out to dinner. Tickets to an art show to go with you.
Question about my job:
I'm a retail worker; I've been wanting to get promoted my entire career, or at least work in a different department. One week ago, I finally got to get out of a department I felt very trapped in. I got to be part of my retailer's asset protection.
I thought, no more worrying about returns, no more zoning, no more overstock, worrying about inventory time, or going up to run the register. I thought my new position was a total upgrade! I even get paid more!
Oh boy I was in for a shock. It was too good to be true. The job looked simple ( greet everyone, say goodbye, receipt check, and do express refunds). But it's not simple. There's a whole fuckton of little rules and shit I have to obey. In reality I'm hassling the fuck out of honest customers, and I really don't like it.
For example, I'll stand up front where everyone can see me, and I can see them, and I'll see the customers paying for everything, but still have to receipt check them.
Next example: when a customer is returning an item, we are to painstakingly scan it and affix a small sticker onto it. It's absolutely pointless. But management is saying that by January 1, everyone has to have the sticker on their merch as they're returning it, or they'll no longer accept the merchandise back. It's bullshit because associates will not always be there. And we do get swamped by the staggering amount of returns. This process just hassles honest customers and I don't like it.
Not to mention the job is physically tiring because I'm forcing myself to be extroverted. I'm introverted.
Question is, do I tough out this easy but shitty job, or transfer to a harder, lower paying, but more rewarding job that I KNOW I excel at?
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Tl:dr
>Do I stay in an easy, well-paying job that has shitty & overbearing rules I have to follow, that is physically draining
Or
> do I transfer to a shitter department where I'll get paid less but I excel at the work being done
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>>17885722
It's not that serious senpai. As a customer I just come up to you with my receipt in hand, who ever is at the door does a quick scan of my items, marks my receipt and I'm off.
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>>17885722
Go back to school, learn to do something that matters.
Business admin, if you're in love with retail. Or accounting. Or whatever.
The thought of people wanting to have sex with me weirds me out. Last time I heard something flirty I literally said "what the fuck". I end up distancing myself from everything a lot because that's like all people want to do and talk about most of the time
I know this is because I'm extremely sheltered but really everything just makes me so uncomfortable. How do I fix it.
Oh and to make it maximum levels of weird, I'm 23 years old
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>How do I fix it.
Do you need to?
Is your entire identity defined by your views on sex?
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>>17885707
>Do you need to?
Well kind of
Like I said it makes me uncomfortable and is causing me to distance myself from people
I'm not sure what part of my identity is that
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>>17885715
Do you wonder why you might do it?
I only really ever want to have sex with girls I feel deeply connected to. I don't want to be bare fucking naked in front of someone who doesn't give a shit about me, so I take it all pretty seriously.
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I want to start dating but I have a problem.
I believe that all women are unfathomably stupid.
The problem is eventually I get to know them enough and I realize they're so stupid that they make me want to howl and laugh like a maniac over how illogical and ridiculous their thinking is. I just can't take them seriously or see them as responsible reasonable adults. And they want to have equal weight in the relationship and feel like their opinions matter. But the problem is their opinions are so fucking stupid because they're women that if I listen to them and take their opinions seriously my life will become worse from taking their shitty advice. And it will make me more dumb if I try to be open minded and give their extremely stupid thinking any merit or value at all.
And don't get me started on when women think they're right. That is the most frustrating shit ever. 99.9% of the time they are wrong about everything. Every relationship of mine is going to go like this. We'll be fine and i'll put up with their stupidity and then one day they'll think they're right and they'll stand their ground. And then they'll realize how stupid I think they are and they'll want to leave me.
Honestly I should just get a high grade sex doll at this point or hire a hooker. Women just aren't worth it. They are vastly inferior to men and retarded people and they always will be.
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>>17885692
> Every relationship of mine is going to go like this.
Don't need to worry about that. People like you are unlikely to ever be near a relationshit.
Back to >>>/r9k/
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>>17885702
> le r9k virgin insult xD
Just get a dog and a fleshligh OP, you'll have all the benefits of having a woman in your life with none of the drawbacks.
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>>17885692
Does this all come from Mother issues or something
Anonymous
Girl can't be submissive 2016-12-24 12:35:18 Post No.17885686
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Girl can't be submissive 2016-12-24 12:35:18 Post No.17885686
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I've been dating this sweet girl for 3 months. She knits, cooks, has all the right morals, but the funny thing is, prior to dating me she was a butch lesbian in a year-long relationship. I'm perfectly fine with that, but she says she is "dominant" and "independent", which means she can't be weak or submissive in bed, she always has to be "on top", being submissive makes her uncomfortable.
I wouldn't want her to feel that, but I would at least like to know what could be the cause of that and if I could reverse this effect. I really love her, but the prospect of being pegged does not excite me.
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Why the fuck do always the guys who hate pegging get the few girls who'd actually do it? This is bullshit, just break up or something.
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>>17885695
But I love her :3
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>>17885686
>being submissive makes her uncomfortable
That's the key. She's just not comfortable enough with you yet. To help her with that, you should be open to the shit she wants too, so prepare your ass, faggot.
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Hey, /adv/. I'm sick of living with my family. I want my own space.
I'm 21 and going to school for a computer engineering degree. I currently have a part-time job.
How do I even get started moving out? If I get my own place I would need to have a car. I don't know if I could afford any of that. I just want to be independent, mang.
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Live on campus??
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>>17885684
Nah I live at home with my parents. Don't own a car. My dad drives me to and from campus and I have to wait until he gets off work to return home. Needless to say I feel very restricted.
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>>17885708
No you idiot. Move into campus dorms. Easiest way to move out.
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I may or may not have autism and I'd like some advice on dealing with it outside of seeing a therapist and getting prescribed drugs of some kind.
The thing is that I am not entirely sure if I have it and if I do I could be considered pretty high functioning since I am able to hold down a job and communicate with other people normally for the most part
The problem is not really showing a great deal of emotion outside of of anger when interacting with other people and not really "getting" some aspects of social interaction (like small talk). This has led me not be able to make any friends since high school and never bothering to try the dating scene.
tl;dr help out an autist learn to behave less like an autist
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Nah, sounds more like Aspergers, which is on the Autism spectrum, but not as bad. I have it, and it basically means you don't learn to feel emotions as you experience them, as other people do. You have to manually tell yourself "This is something sad, so I should feel sad". I know it's awkward and seems stupid at first, but keep it up and within a few weeks you'll be experiencing feelings.
I was diagnosed with this at a younger age, but I just imagined myself being sad or happy in certain situations and it works! I've recently had an Aspbergers diagnosis test and the results came back that I was completely normal.
Don't give up. It feels so good being able to feel emotions :)
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>>17885664
you're fine anon. stop trying to say
>i think im different, so i must be mentally ill.
you dont need to deal with anything if you dont need therapy for it.
you're not a high functioning retard.
you're a retardedly functioning normie.
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>>17886342
>Nah, sounds more like Aspergers, which is on the Autism spectrum, but not as bad. I have it, and it basically means you don't learn to feel emotions as you experience them, as other people do. You have to manually tell yourself "This is something sad, so I should feel sad"
That doesn't sound like me at all, at least when I am by myself. If I am around others it becomes a bit harder to fallow along with the mood
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/adv/, did I fuck it up?
>Went on 2 days together with a girl
>Last night, invited her to a club
>After a while, i started getting touchy
>She wasn't pushing away
>Hugging her, arms wrapped around her
>Holding her hand
>Faces touching
>Ended up telling her how i really felt
>How much i liked her with her telling me she knows and also mentioning she liked me
>Told her how i wanted to kiss her on our first date
>Seconds within saying that i notice she looked at me and then at my lips
>Went in for the kiss
>Started kissing
>Kissed her neck, cheek, mouth
>Started telling how it's complicated for her being a backpacker now
>Because she's leaving in 1.5 months
>After a while, upon leaving she started getting uppity and didn't really want me my arms wrapped around her
>Wouldn't even hug me when she was leaving
>Told her I'll let her think about it with her replying saying she wants/needs to
I imagine I'm making this hard for her.
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>>17885653
>Started telling how it's complicated for her being a backpacker now
lolwut
kids these days
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>>17885663
How doesn't that make sense? She's leaving in 1.5 months and knows if she gets too close to me it will only be difficult for her.
I hope I didn't ruin it.
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>>17885653
Sounds like she genuinely likes you, but she's not the type of girl that wants to have a 1.5 month relationship. She probably knows that you'll want to fuck, but isn't the type that becomes comfortable enough to do that in such a short time. And even if she did, it would make your splitting that much harder.
Don't feel rejected. Feel good about it. Don't try to bang her, be her friend, have a good time. Maybe she'll decide to bang you, maybe not, don't worry about it. Having friends is cool.
Anonymous
How do I achieve peace in my mind? 2016-12-24 12:07:21 Post No.17885638
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How do I achieve peace in my mind? 2016-12-24 12:07:21 Post No.17885638
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How do I achieve peace in my mind?
Anonymous
2016-12-24 12:07:21
Post No. 17885638
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Lately I have been sad out of nothing. I consider myself a very happy person with a good life, but recently I started having bad thoughts. This is not the first time this has happened and I think it gets worse when either christmas or the end of the year (or both) are near. I want to understand this feeling and deal with it either by making it go away or accepting it.
This time it feels a bit different though. Generally I begin to think of how bad the world is. Why do relationships go so wrong? Why did my parents had to divorce? Why do people suffer so much? Why do we need to get shitty jobs and live miserable lives? I never understood that. We supposedly live in society because it's beneficial for everyone, but that's bullshit. And you also do not have a choice, you can't leave society. I'm also very nostalgic to the point I feel very sad when I remember things happened last year and small things trigger this feelings.
This time it also started like that, but I've been feeling this way for days now and the more time it stays within me, the more it seems it has no reason at all. Why I'm I sad like this? The impression I have is that I'm with depression and that explains why this has no apparent reason. But in reality I'm pretty much sure this is not the case.
How can I find peace in my mind? Do I meditate and try to figure this out? What can I do? I can't understand any of this.
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do you live in the northern hemisphere?
do you get enough vitamin d?
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Matthew 11:28
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
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>>17885658
No. Do you really believe in the fact that I live in the south makes me poor and miserable? That's not the case. That said, I could suffer from lack of vitamin D since I don't like eggs, meat and pretty much anything a vegan would avoid (even though I'm not one). I do drink milk everyday though. Is lack of vitamin D a cause of depression?
>>17885681
The bible means nothing to me.
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Any other forever alone hikikomori girls here? I need support
>tfw hate almost everybody
>still lonely
>no friends other than a few internet pals
>everybody irl dislikes you or doesn't care about you because too quiet and distant
>rarely go outside
>had only one real crush in entire life so far
>probs fucked it up already by acting like dumb boring bitch and feeling inadequate
>spend most of the time watching tv series, playing vidya and browsing internet
>try to change but eventually get discouraged and go cry in the corner as usual
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>or doesn't care about you because too quiet and distant
I mean I can empathize with that feeling, but what do you expect? I remember trying to reach out to some gal a while ago, and from my perspective she just gave me a cold shoulder. So I moved on, and this apparently upset her since she didn't know how to communicate her feelings. It's good you're acknowledging the problem, but you have to actually act on it.
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>>17885620
>try to change
What did you actually try and for how long?
>spend most of the time watching tv series, playing vidya
Why do you even think anything will ever change to the better if you waste your life away like that?
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>>17885635
>but what do you expect
nothing obviously
I've struggled all my life and made some progress but I'm still cold and awkward and don't know how to make emotional connections and I hate it
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Does it get any better anons? Super abusive shitty bf, kinda emotionally trapped, can move on but no balls. Anyone else in a shit situation? Let's revolt
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>>17885605
>does it get any better
only if you make it better. people who say
>i know what my problem is but LOL NO BALLS TO FIX IT :D
stay in their stupid rut forever.
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>>17885605
Do you want to end up like my friends sister?
She was in an abusive relationship with this guy who was and still is a complete piece of shit, hits her, raped her a few times, stole her car, pawned off her electronics.. even hits and yells at his kids.. She always wanted to break up with him but had no self worth and still to do this day regrets staying with him but wont let it go.. its been 18 years and they're still together doing the same shit they were in their teens/20's..
Work on yourself, cut ties with the fucking guy. You have balls, you wont be alone forever, a little alone time helps.. take up a hobby, learn to paint, make art.. do anything.
How old are you? & where ya from
Dont let yourself go..you only have yourself you need to take care of yourself and worry about others only if they truly care about you.
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>>17885605
move the fuck on
now
do it