I'm attracted to men. Everything about them, their hands, their arms, their shoulders, their chests, their faces, their cocks, even their feet.
But sadly they don't like me.
Is there a way to get rid of my sexuality? I don't want to be sexually frustrated for the rest of my life
Girl btw.
are you ugly and/or fat?
become an attention whore and show yourself a little more in public. and by this I mean, show your butt and tits
have a flirtatious personality
smile a lot
that is, you'll have lots of guys behind you
>>17891766
Can't you simply work on yourself and make yourself more attractive?
It's not really so hard for girls. I could get a 4/10 even when I was obese.
>>17891777
Yeah I've tried, I give up now
I just want to get rid of my attraction towards guys.
So don't really know if this is the right thread for this. I have ADHD, I currently don't take or plan to take any medication because I am also a recovering drug addict. I only had an 8th grade education until 2010, i got clean, got my GED, and got an AAS degree in IT. I am out of options for getting a CS degree to learn programming and am trying to learn programming on my own. I was just wondering if anyone else has had similar struggles and how they cope with it and stay motivated to accomplish their goals.
>>17891681
If you're only doing programming for the money, then it'll obviously be a lot harder. Regardless, if you're good enough, some places would still be willing to hire you without a degree. You should build a portfolio of your work.
>>17891681
>I have ADHD
Stop blaming your lack of self-control on some imaginary ailment. Don't go into computer programming if you don't like it enough to do it without getting distracted by other shit.
>>17891794
easily triggered retard spotted. try reading the post fully before spewing off like the invalid you are.
I've been with my boyfriend for over 3 years now and we've been through several up and downs together like any other couple who has been together this long would.
However, the one thing that bothers me the most is his depression. He's always had it, but its progressively gotten worse over this past year since he moved for an internship.
Last night, I invited him to join my family and I for Christmas so he wouldn't be alone. He told me he wanted to be alone, and that he doesn't like Christmas due to past family issues.
I never knew this, however the past two Christmas' we have argued, and I never understood why.
I explained to him that I understood why he didn't like Christmas, but that he couldn't continue to let his family affect his feelings during the holidays. He told me that he will be speaking to a therapist when his internship is over, which probably won't be till the end of next month or more.
How do I deal with his depression until then? He has no motivation to do anything, and quite frankly I was hurt that he did not want to join me for Christmas. He does the same thing everyday after work.
Comes home, plays video games for hours, eats then sleeps. The same routine.
Whenever we have talks about anything he blames his depression. Is this normal? What will happen after he speaks to a therapist? Or after he starts taking antidepressants? What are the changes and how has it helped? What are the signs I should look for if nothing has changed?
Am I wrong for not wanting to deal with a depressed individual?
PLEASE HELP.
Hey OP from what im getting he could really have some family related emotions tied to his depression maybe thats why hes unwilling to do things. On the other hand he could be using his depression as an excuse to avoid doing things with you which might suggest hes not interested in you as much as he might have been when you met. If i were u i would take him somewhere fun and test to see if he really enjoys your company or if he pushes you aside to be lazy. Its a tough call but i would make sure hes still into you and your relationship before you call quits.
>>17891621
>How do I deal with his depression until then?
if you really want to be a nurse get some training and then you can get paid to deal with that kind of b.s.
why sacrifice yourself for some mentally ill person who declines to help themselves and get professional treatment ?
>Am I wrong for not wanting to deal with a depressed individual?
no i think you are finally seeing the light here
please drop that poor guy like the rock he is and find some half-normal guy who can help you deal with your problems in a more balanced relationship
poke around here - nami.org
untreated mental illness is not repeat not curable by talking or anything except meds which help the chemical imbalance in the brain
good luck
Femanon here, married to someone with depression.
Depression does this nasty thing where it sucks away all of your motivation and energy, as well as your ability to handle stress. It's really insidious. People with depression tend to latch onto something that makes them feel even marginally better for a little while, and so end up seemingly addicted to things like food or video games or sleep.
It does sound like he could be using it as an excuse, but he is also actively seeking treatment for it, which I think means there's hope. A lot of people with depression don't seek treatment unless forced. So he obviously wants to pull himself out of it.
Therapists can help with depression a bit, but if it's a chemical thing as opposed to a stress thing, they won't be able to do a lot of good except helping reframe problems so the patient can work through it, and monitoring mental state. However, they can recommend a psychiatrist.
Things can can cause situational depression and worsen clinical depression are a lack of sleep, lack of exercise, lack of sunlight, lack of a social life, lack of good food, financial hardship, and lack of personal fulfillment. Making sure he gets enough of these can really help.
If/when he gets medicinal treatment, the best medications will raise his baseline emotional state. Chances are he'll have to try a few to several different medications until he finds a good one. A good one will give him more motivation, more energy, a better mood, and a better ability to handle things going wrong or not being ideal. A good medication makes a ton of difference.
cont.
I'm just done with life. I really can't do this anymore. The ratio of good to bad things is too low. I am mentally fucked beyond repair. I want to kill myself ok, don't give me advice on how to get better, don't tell me it gets better. I don't care, I can't do it anymore. But I can't push through and just fucking do it. How do I just go ahead and do it, and forget about that stupid fucking glimmer of hope. It just torments me forever... How do I just do it... I'm really tired guys.
Anyone who can help with this is already in a better place OP
try benzos. bars and alcohol will work wonders.
>>17891591
All I have is a bottle of prozac, and not a lot.
hey guys i just got out of a room mate situation which made me very unhappy and i'd like some second opinions to help me pinpoint just what was at stake here.
i've frequently shared my house with others via couchsurfing and airbnb and these people have been generally courteous and not difficult to get on with. this person's presence made me constantly stressed.
some of the problems i experienced
- was initially helpful with the chores but contributed less as time went on
- constantly badgered me for time and attention, talking incessantly to me as i attended to other tasks
- needy "please take care of me" behavior
- couldn't figure out how to not be home when i was; i was starving for alone time; couldn't think thru my own, pressing problems with the constant interruptions.
- interpreted my frustration with the above as "being angry" and did not amend his behavior
i ended up getting in a car wreck during his stay which i chalk up to being unable to attend to the warning signs (i suspect previous alignment issues) as well as driving stressed. this has cost me a lot of money.
i feel very stupid about all of this and wonder how i managed to get myself in this situation. the thing is, i normally have decent boundaries and am appropriately assertive in my relationships. where did i go wrong? is my boarder a massive asshole is there something about myself that needs work too?
look up confabulation. are you sure your recent stressful events were caused by this person, and not just the cause for getting rid of him?
>>17891869
not sure at all. i don't think losing my privacy was helping.
>>17891869
have felt nothing but relief since he moved out so it must be at least partially his fault.
>Really introverted/solitary person
>Went on date with girl
>We made out
>Now she talks to me every fucking day
>Is setting up plans without even confirming them with me, and then saying stuff like "you excited for x date?" when I wasn't even aware
>Is trying to rush things, and is smothering me with attention
Like I said, I'm really fucking introverted, and this is beginning to scare the shit out of me. She is moving so damn fast.
I've never turned anyone down or anything, and I'm not sure I want to continue dating her, but I'd at least like some time to figure out if I do or not, and on top of all this I'm busy as shit with the holidays.
How do I tell her to chill the fuck out?
If she as into you as she seems to be, just explain to her that you aren't used to the attention and asked her to tone it down a little bit, or just straight up tell her that she's doing too much at once. Maybe try setting up a date in a few days to do something YOU like?
Don't be a dick but don't be a pussybitch either
>>17891514
Tell her to calm the fuck down or kys for being a pussy whipped faggot
You both are going to die. What's the problem with not wasting time?
What are you using your time for? Playing mindnumbing videogames? You have a gf, no need to run away from life anymore. Let her heal you.
My ex and I had been talking about getting back together when we both got our shit together, last night however we had a fight and decided to remove that option completely off the table. I think breaking up was a good idea but I miss talking to her as a friend, especially since she was my only actual friend, should I try to salvage that friendship or just go no contact?
Idk man sounds like you two have difficulty figuring out the boundaries of your relationship. Maybe it's better you separate for a while then decide if you still want to have a relationship
>>17891519
Boundaries definitely were an issue in that I wasn't willing to budge on any of mine and she tried to force herself to conform but it always kept coming back up and causing arguments, which is one of the few issues we had, were not in a relationship right now and I don't see us being in one any time soon but we really are best friends and I don't want to throw that away
I'm in a similar situation as you. Left my girl a few months ago because she had a lot of mental health issues and was *abusive* to me mentally. I still think it's imasculating but therapists, friends, and family all agree she was fucking me up.
Anyways I digress... She was my only friend for years as well. I am still finding it hard, all I have is my brother, and when I try to make friends with other guys, it never leads anywhere and I never try to hang out. Trying to make friends with women leads towards relationships that I don't want and I end up rejecting them and pissing them off.
So honestly man, I would say try to improve your life and self and meet others on your journey that share your values and make those your friends, that's my plan. Godspeed anon, I'm on the same boat
Sorry for a boring question on your Christmas night but I need help.
Basically a two part question:
I'm hosting a party at my house (or more specifically my parents house, I'm still in college). I obviously want to keep it as nice as possible, for obvious reasons.
I haven't hosted a party before but here's my precautions
>Telling everyone who's drinking they must stay the night
>Locking my parents bedroom
>Taking down all paintings that are hung up so nobody bumps into them
>Buying many cleaning products beforehand for spills/cleanup the morning after
Any other precautions I can take or things I'm overlooking?
Part two is: what should I do to make it a great party (new years eve)
>Jello shots/Champagne
>Beer pong
>Music
>Cards for drinking games
>Possibly Haircuts
Anything else I could do to make it fun?
>pic not related
>>17891468
How are you going to force everybody to stay the night if they drink? That's a really dumb idea. Just let people do their own thing.
>College student
Have at least 10 different types of alcohol, some sort of fruit punch, weed, good music and munchies. If the people coming have any sort of personality the party will makes itself great. You're just providing the backdrop so to speak.
I say yes to removing the paintings, but not all of them. Don't want dead walls
Like the other guy said, let people be chill. If they wan to leave let them leave. It sounds like you want to have a get-together not a party.
>>17891512
Well 95% of the people going are under 21 so I am going to request that they stay the night, can't force them but if they're getting drunk I'd prefer they spend the night instead of driving.
>>17891570
Thanks for the tips. I think we're getting a keg and maybe some sangria, and like I said jello shots and champagne. I know people who smoke will bring their own so that's fine.
And I'll probably take down the expensive ones, leave some up.
What do you do when you grew up expecting a perfect, true love and found out that it doesn't exist because men are disengenuous liars?
What is the point of existing?
>What is the point of existing?
Getting the most stuff. Start hoarding now, crazy cat lady.
In my experience, I've never met a woman who wasn't a huge liar or cheater, and that's including my mother, sisters, and every girl I've ever been with.
Why should I believe you are any different, OP?
>>17891404
It doesn't matter because you are a man and spend all of your time lying and exaggerating on the internet for attention.
How many dates should you wait to fuck a girl?
i normally fuck the girl after one of two dates. my friends are telling me that i should wait a while longer. i would like to know what is best, for future reference. thanks.
Why would you wait? I don't see any benefit to that
>>17891374
Always try to hit it asap. When she caves in will tell you what type of girl she is, and you can judge her from there.
>>17891389
>I don't see any benefit to that
neither do i but the women i date keep saying we move too faster after i fuck them. once a girl has had a few down her, she is normally easy to fuck.
>>17891394
>When she caves in will tell you what type of girl she is
they dont really cave in, i just kind of go for it and they become submissive and you know.
maybe i am not doing anything wrong. i dont know. a second opinion is always nice to hear.
My gf (20) broke up with me (22) last wednesday because she's been pushing for me to go to therapy about my self hate for a few monthes now and I told her I didn't think it would help (I bought some time by telling her we could talk about it after finals). She said we need a long time away from each other (but the way she left made it seem like she was completely done). I know i fucked up by not keeping my word (I told her I could change on my own, but I'm not strong enough). The thing is, I know this girl is the one. I've dated and had sex with 5 other girls and none of them have been as good to/for me as she has. We complement each other's lives perfectly. We talked a lot about spending the rest of our lives together up until this point.
Now that she left, I got out of my comfort zone and finally started therapy. I've also started a diet and started working out again (I was fit before I met her, then I got lazy). I've her all of these things today via text just so that she
>>17891337
Girl from other thread here, how long were you two together? I obviously can't speak for your girl because I don't know exactly how your relationship was and what kind of point you pushed her to here. Have you talked to her and told her that you started therapy and such?
Fuck I forgot the rest:
knows that I'm actually trying to change to better myself. I didn't expect an answer, and I didn't get one. I plan on dropping off her Christmas present after christmas (because amazon fucked up) because we got each other gifts before we split. I also drew a hand made card with a long note telling her how I'll do things differently, work on myself, and never take her for granted. I also wrote about everything I love about her. But from there, I don't know where to proceed. I just want to win the love of my life back
>>17891357
2 years. Yeah I texted her and got no response. When she was breaking up with me, i told her I could go but she said it shouldnt take her leaving me for me to come to that decision. Which she's kinda right, but it really took a shock like that for me to start getting my shit together especially since I'm going in to my last semester
Forgot to mention: the entire time she was breaking up with me, she was telling me how much she loved me, ran her fingers through my hair, hugged me kissed me. Mixed messages to the max. The fact that she's cut all contact but hasn't deleted me from social media also makes no fucking sense
SO is an emotional trainwreck. Gotten worse over the past three years- been waiting on her to get shit together for grad school, which hasn't happened, been working retail hours and driving two hours plus every day to get to work... And once I start making plans to maybe make some changes in my own life, you know, improvements? ...suddenly we're talking about moving away to Cali, don't make any plans. I cook, I clean the apartment, I do laundry, ect. If I'm not working and she needs to go somewhere, I know who is driving. Stays up 'till 4 AM watching netflix or whatever, no matter when I need to work in the morning. If she needs to be up early? We get ready for bed... and she stays up until 4 AM watching netflix on her phone, and then emotionally collapses. If I want to do something, it has to become a big production, we can't just do it and leave it simple. Over the summer, I wanted to drive the Blue Ridge Parkway through the Appalachians. Just drive it, see the sights, whatever. She agrees, sounds fun, whatever. So we leave, and suddenly there are all of these other plans and places we have to stop, and before you know it she's freaking the fuck out because there's no way we can drive the whole Blue Ridge anymore. So I talk her down to just driving the fucking ridge again, like I wanted to, and that discussion lasts for a day until it finally happens. ...And of course, the other plans start building up again.
She's miserable when she's procrastinating, miserable when she gets something done because of all the "what ifs," she's miserable spending time with her family, miserable when they aren't 100% in on being all family-y and together or what the fuck ever. She's miserable when the house is a mess, but accumulates Diet Coke cans of varying degrees of emptiness at an astonishing rate.
I could take this, once. I did, for a while, I wanted to support her, help her get to somewhere she is happy. I don't even know what to say anymore. I just kind of sit there.
>>17891255
Continued...
I don't even know. I can't even be bothered to keep going. I feel like this whole relationship is on my shoulders, that I have nowhere to go if I leave, and that I need to be better to justify leaving to begin with.
Fuck, I could maybe deal with it if the sex was good, but there isn't any. Her libido is just... gone.
Cialis for you?
And maybe a valium for her?
I dunno. Seems like both of you need a little peace of mind.
>>17891284
I would need the valium, too. My fucking eye has been having spasms for the past few fucking months. Why Cialis, though?
I didn't have much of a father and not particularly more anyone who could replace one. Despite of growing up and currently living surrounded by loving and supportive women, it still stings and eats me that I never could or would win a grown man's approval.
My best guess at having a chance to do so would be the military, but I have a hunch they'd tear me to shreds and eat the tatters on the first day, and that I shouldn't be trusted anywhere near something I could use to shoot myself in that state, so I declined.
Is there any other way?
>>17891245
Why do you need approval from a man specifically, how do you think would it change your life?
Barely had a daddy either (first just rarely there, then separated by two countries and then dead) and while I missed having a male role model in my early teens, it's practically irrelevant now. Be you own man, nigga. Also yes, military is a bad idea.
>>17891297
How did you fill the gap?
>>17891310
I think it filled itself with time, and I guess having to roleplay father-brother for my younger sis helped to speed it up.
All the things a dad can teach you, you can learn by yourself and will eventually learn by yourself. It's a lot like school; you can learn all the material by yourself, the way there is just harder (specially when you're still a kid) and needs more self discipline but if you take the harder way, or well are forced to take it, you'll also learn more than people who had an easier one.
Also there are so damn many examples from history one can aim for, although I am past looking for role models and more about the inspiration one can get from them.
As for the approval part, I was just rarely concerned by it at all. The most important was my own, getting it from other people I respect is just a bonus and eventually comes either with career/hobbies achievements and the likes.
Is lack of dating experience unattractive to girls? I'm 19 and never been on a date and never kissed a girl, let alone sex. I'm not ugly, I just was uninterested in HS and rejected anyone who wanted me, plus I'm dense as fuck and miss signs girls give me.
>>17891219
Women don't have a goddamn clue what they want. They act on whimsy because they will always have options. You literally will not know until you ask for a straight answer. If you get anything other than a "yes," stop pursuing that woman romantically. She'll just break your heart.
>>17891268
This is pretty good advice.
>>17891268
Okey doke, thanks for that. Anything else you can tell an amateur?
Anyone have any questions in need of answering by le femanon? I am here to help. Happy holidays <3
>>17891215
Inb4 bad tattoo and wrong date. For some reason I wrote 26 instead of 25. Idfk.
How much do you weigh? This is actually a serious question as it will have an impact on how your answers are perceived.
>>17891230
I'm 5'7" and I weigh 139