Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 5912. page

>>36728806
Jesus man, did you go as far as taking a dick to convince them you were a homobot?

>>36728806
Not sure what to say but good B8 faggot younmade me reply

>>36728806
Why did you think this would work? You could have at least pretended to be bi.

Get naked as soon as the acid hits. Make her get naked too. Then run around naked in the nature reserve and fuck like deers.

Everyone knows you can't get pregnant on acid so you don't need a condom. (total lie)

>>36728824
A mutual friend will be there too, do i need him naked too? not worried about pregnancy, she has this metal birth control rod in her arm.

Your plan already pretty much covers the bases. Acid is a life changing experience, and at the end of it you and her will have exposed your true egos to eachother, you'll be attached in the most gayest spiritual sense possible

>>36728710
You have 8 seconds to explain how to get one.

I don't have any gf.

You have 9 seconds to tell me how I get one?

I literally can't even get it up to young girls, my dream is to date and have an older woman as girlfriend.

>>36728627
derealization maybe?

>>36728627
Perhaps you are merely realizing what you thought was the "truth" was just as wrong as fiction?

>>36728832
This. Or psychedelics. Is OP on acid?

Nope.

Uwu

>>36728615
Yeah this happens to me. I always feel like it's irrational as she is very introverted and clearly only interested in me, but I can't help it... Even members of the same sex get me worried sometimes for no real reason

>>36728850
is there a word for this shit we have

>what is it like kissing a girl?
gross
>what are her lips like?
gross
>what is her mouth like?
gross
>what does she feel like?
gross
>how do you become a good kisser?
i only ever kiss my gf because it's expected, im not good nor do i really care to practice enough to be good

there are other things that are better, kissing is only a thing because it's a long-standing social norm

>>36728557
>cyborg
That's a good fucking description actually.
I don't consider myself to be a robot because I can talk to females for more than 30 seconds. But that doesn't change the fact that I was a fucking autist until I was 13 and the fact I'm still a kissless virgin.

>>36728557
>what is it like kissing a girl?
it depends on the girl, you, and the situation. sometimes a kiss can feel like an electric current on your lips that radiates down your body. that's only happened to me twice. sometimes it's just nothing.
>what are her lips like?
most girls have soft lips, slightly wet and malleable.
>what is her mouth like?
wet, warm, most space is taken up by her tongue. sometimes her breath stinks. sometimes it doesn't.
>what does she feel like?
girls are soft and smooth mostly. even if they have acne or something, there are still nice parts to touch.
>how do you become a good kisser?
8 parts practice, 2 parts natural talent.

Your fault for choosing to be black.

if you make that black face for long enough, your face will get stuck that way op

How many black anons are there on this board for you to bait with this post?

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>>36728428
nigga how would we know

>>36728428
>>no real hobbies (unless you count reading)
reading is a real hobby, mate

>>36728454
I just wanna know how someone gets laid

I'm not bad looking or stupid.

How the hell is it so hard?

I don't wanna be a 20 yo virgin

because men would do anything for pussy

My oneitis used to call me a cuck, thought she was just joking around and memeing. Then it all made sense in the end, fucking bitch.

> I need cucks
What did she meant by this?
Never heard a female using this word

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gano gano oregano

>>36728375
Mommy gf

Like this would make it original

Lies. Blasphemy. Death.

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i bet this isn't a real functional fireplace
still hot though

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>>36728398
I'm not exactly looking at the fireplace

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Wham bam spank you ma'am

>>36728290
No one controls Donald Trump. Not even Donald Trump. Seriously the whole thing about Jared and Ivanka being a "moderating influence" on him is complete bullshit, peddled to assuage the fears of rational Americans.

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>>36728436
GTFO poltard. This is reddit country

crytoshitskin, ivanka's kids came out brown

Man or woman teacher?
Did they swallow?

Who had a bigger dick?

I told you not to talk about it, Billy!

What could go wrong?
original

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What would reviewbrah do?

>>36728195
Just di it, but keep it simple, don't sperg out or send her a poem.

>"happy birthday ***!"

Why do you care about what others do or how others behave?

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evola bump

>>36728291
Because I care about Tradition.