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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 5060. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

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Are balding and masturbation correalated? I never had a problem balding and I devoloped a fetish and it was the only time I could pre cum and cum multiple times in a row and after doing it awhile I noticed half my was gone.

Coincidence?
13 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Not in the way you describe it but honestly yes I think so
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>>37260160
You think it's a coincidence or you think it caused me to bald?
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>>37260137
I used to fap everyday and I still have a full head of hair

>tfw addicted to coffee / caffiene

fuck. who else got tricked by the brew jew?
17 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>37260069
Before I post, you HAVE had your morning cup(s), right?
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>>37260069
Nothing really wrong with it, I'm just a pussy who can't go black. Just so damn bitter and gross tasting I like good tasting coffee. But then that's 9grams of sugar and 100 calories of creme
>>
Anon. Please. Wait until I'm finished

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"Anon get out now! I need to take a big stinky fat shit! Goddamnit too late - BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!"
16 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>37260039
that woman isn't even sitting the right direction on the toilet
women truly are braindead
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>>37260039
Let me rate your dump femanon.
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>>37260058
american female is so fat shes shit out of pussy too

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Things that normies say that piss you the fuck off:

>heeyy broo it's better being single trust me hahehahueha girls are too complicated maan
11 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>37260001
That's true though

t. normie
>>
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>>37260001
I can believe that desu
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>>37260390
What ? There was no "desu" im my reply

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I love you, robot. No matter who you are, no matter what you've been through, no matter what your demons, I love you. I mean that. I truly mean that.

I'll always be here for you.
16 posts and 3 images submitted.
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I never watched the simpsons, I don't trust you
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>>37259934
That's okay, I love you anyway
>>
>>37259944
are you a horny trap

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>There are girls on here who rate themselves 6+, yet claim they're "fembots"
Being an attractive woman in 2017 is LITERALLY EASY MODE. FUCK OFF AND DON'T PRETEND LIKE YOU HAVE ANY REAL PROBLEMS.
19 posts and 7 images submitted.
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""fembots" are just 5s who haven't been fucked yet.
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There are plenty of attractive fembots who have serious mental issues.
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>>37259545
Kek, "crazy" hot girls are literally a fetish. Fuck off you dumb beta retard.

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When you were autistic during an exam, I start

>Be me
>Study Computer Science at Uni
>Economy exam
>"write down't what you know about deflation"
>"Opposite of inflation, the money gets more value over time..."
>autism kicks in
>"it's a bad thing because people will stop buying stuff like food and they starve to death."
>after exam prof wants to see me
>fuckWhatHeWants.webm
>it's about that line and what I meant
>spends a minute explaining
>I finally realize
>I start laughing
>still passed the exam
13 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>7th grade
>first exam in algebra
>first hot teacher I've ever had
>tight body with a tighter shirt barely containing her fat jewess tits
>spent the whole year thus far just staring at her tits
>day of the exam
>she didn't wear a bra
>live in the desert so the A/C is always set to max
>I'm sitting next to her son but her breasts are incredibly perky
>end up staring at her rock hard nipples the entire exam as she paces the room looking for cheaters
>erase my name and hand the exam in
>>
>4th grade
>Math test
>Teacher says if we don't understand a problem just do a smiley face and she'll help later
>Can't do the second page at all
>Look up and smile as broadly as possible
>Sit there smiling for at least two minutes and nothing happens
>Moved to special education three days later
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>>37259453
fake and gay
seen this on every damn board

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>tfw your grandpa is dying of cancer
I feel so fucking horrible.
11 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>37259232
The cure for cancer exists (viral therapy). It's just expensive. Demand he get access to it or make a stink to the media.
>>
Feel for you. Lost my grandmother to leukaemia and nearly lost my dad to prostate cancer.
>>
>>37259645
do this, please.
losing a grandpa is bad.
tell your parent whom your grandpa is his dad, then tell the other parent, then tell grandma.
dont go like asking, go confident and doing.

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Anyone else here are *so* fed up with the increasing SJW shit about "muh privilege," "my cultural appropriation," "muh whiteness," "muh whites don't know the struggle," "muh male gaze," etc. that they're also considering carrying guns on them from now on?

I just can't take it anymore and need some added defense. Or at the very least, carrying some kind of weapon.
15 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>37259052
how did things get this bad
>>
>>37259052
Are you going to become the right wing terrorist they desperately need now?
>>
>>37259052
If you want to go with a less than lethal method I recommend using an tranq gun, mainly using elephant tranqs (some of em get really big)
If you want to go lethal, basically anything that can scratch one will kill em.

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Today it's my twentieth birthday and I am still virgin, never had a gf and still haven't got any will to study nor work
I'd like to fucking die already, but on the other hand I don't want to, don't know if it's because I'm scared of that eventuality or it's because of the fact that despite all this, I still have hope.
The fact the makes me the saddest/bitterest is the fact that I'm not even ugly or fat, I am skinny and at least I'm a 7/10 (at least), but the fact that I am a bit timid, that I only fall in love of girls I know for a long time and that I speak my mind is becoming a huge problem to me
Also the fact that I still haven't found a thing that I seriously love to study or do I a huge problem too, everyday I grow more tired and bored, to the point I'm starting to think I might go to see a psychologist or something
What do anons? Anyone in this situation? I literally don't know how to solve these problems since they all seem to be related to some inherent traits of the way I think
20 posts and 6 images submitted.
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>>37258965
just wait till you are 27.
If I could give my 20 year old self advice, it would be to make some drastic life changes.
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>>37258965
Bumperino kekkerino I need some opiniorinos
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>>37258965
You'll be alright lil nigga I was a virgin until 25. I haven't had sex with anyone over 18 since

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I wish I can redo my life knowing everything I know now.

>would have not gotten fat
>would have asked my oneitis out
>would have actively made friends
>would have not dropped out of college
>would have tried to find a skill and work towards it

I feel there's no turning back at this point, I'm past the point of redemption. Fuck me. Why was I born a robot? Why did I have to be so nonfunctional in society?
12 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>37258823
>get in shape
>find the same or another oneitis and ask her out
>make friends
>go back to college
>find an enjoyable skill and work towards it

I bet you're like 20 years old you faggot, you still have plenty of time to turn around
>>
Start now.

Your life isn't over, stop focusing so much on the past. Learn the lessons and proceed forward.

You don't want to look back in another 20 years and go "gee I wish I would have done stuff"
>>
>>37258823
I feel you, OP

All the shit in my life I regret not doing
I may not have ended up any happier, but I at least wouldn't look back at my life with so much regret of what could have been

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Hold your horses mate, I needa finish me fuarkin coffee before yoos is allowed to speak to me. Now get fuarked ya shitcunt and piss off back to pooftahville (AKA, Melbourne) while I finish me yummy fucking coffee
12 posts and 4 images submitted.
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croikey, originally
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>>37259005
OI!. WHAT DID I JUST FUCKING SAY TO YOU? GO BACK TO POOFTAH LAEND AND LET ME FINISH ME COFFE CUNT!
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>>37258764
You're lucky I've had my coffee anon. I was very grumpy this morning but you timed that status right

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I'm sorting myself out, slowly but surely. I might be failing daily, but lesser so each day so that someday i might win, and that's that.
HAVE YOU CLEANED YOUR ROOM TODAY, ANON?
I'll be back tomorrow to check on you, make sure to post here.
13 posts and 8 images submitted.
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I can't launch myself... I want to start but I'm nearly a decade late compared to people my age.
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I know you're there.
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>>37258790
Me too. But we gotta start somewhere. There's always worse.

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>girl asks me to come over amd watch a movie
>decline because I'm ashamed of taking gargantuan dumps that last a half hour and are like passing a few logs of sculpting clay the size of Red Bull cans that always clog the toilet
15 posts and 2 images submitted.
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Don't eat that day?
>>
Why not just take a poop BEFORE you go?
>>
what exactly is your movie-watching-routing looking like when it involves taking a dump?

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I love asian massage parlor. share your stories please
11 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>37258433
speed up tractor !
why OP are you sandnigger
>>
>>37258510
Hurry up cuck
>>
Man seeing a kid's book in Arabic is just too strange. I think I've reached the point where I can't see them as innocent enough to have anything resembling a childhood.

I'm a disgusting human being.

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