How do I find a cute girl before Chad turns her beautiful innie into a flappy roastie?
>>38114690
church, stand outside schools, kidnapping...
>>38114690
What will you do after YOU turn her beautiful innie into a flappy roastie?
>>38115172
move to the asshole
Thread theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y983TDjoglQ
>>38114676
HPBs still exist? I live in the middle of nowhere and we got highspeed in 2004.
>>38114694
I normally live in the middle of nowhere and have fucking fiber.
On a business trip, and I get this shit on the fucking florida coast.
I'm stuck here for 2 more months
>>38114778
That sucks. Enjoy your reddit in the meantime. Browsing 4chan on dial up is brutal.
Post angry music
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gbb8kZw-xRg
>>38114642
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mna6ueQ4OFE
This song makes me want to smash a bitch with a jackhammer then shoot myself in the head with a double barreled shotgun.
>>38114764
>smash a hitch with a jackhammer
You mean sledgehammer?
>>38114642
>daft punk
Well off to the archive it goes. Basic bitch slime.
What did you make for dinner tonight? Pic related is a Chef John chicken parmesan casserole.
>>38114620
Looks like fucking dog food.
>>38114660
you're not nice
>>38114620
that looks delicious anon, I'd love to eat with you
>>38114680
I bet you eat ass too. OP, what's your address? I'll buy you a pizza and then make sweet love by moonlight.
I've been watching her around the school in the non creepiest way possible, I'm not trying to alarm anyone because I'm not going to do anything to her but she's waiting for a ride or someone and I'm trying to figure out how to talk to her , pic absolutely related
>>38114618
"Hey there. Just noticed you're alone and being the MASSIVE creep that I am, I just had to come over and politely ask you to let me kidnap you. I'm kidding. You waiting for someone?"
Then carry on with convo.
Post results whether or not you use this.
>>38114618
I just realised that if you guys are totally alone in the compound you might actually come off as a huge-ass peeper if you just come out behind a bush and say that.
But fuck it all, you better go and talk to that girl OP, no matter the potential for spaghetti spillage.
>>38114618
>Do you have any change?
Your 10 year old son tells you he wants a princess dress for his birthday. What do you tell him?
He's 10 and wants a mildly expensive item of clothing for his birthday? What did I do to kill his joy in life?
>>38114631
Well he IS your son.
Explain to him that dresses are for pussies, and then procceed to suck my husbands' cock
Should i be happy or sad that i have no more friends anymore? Lost the last one a few days ago and i dont feel anything towards it. This is normal right?
I keep forgeting that if your post doesnt involve bbc,traps,penis or a frog no one will give a fuck and ignore you. Thats fine.
>>38114853
>being a little bitch and bumping your own thread because no one is interested in your blog post
visible sage
>>38114905
I said its fine,cunt. Lmao.
>Bitter /r9k/ virgins will claim they didnt work hard for this
>"It's all genetics, that's why I'm a loser!"
>>38114554
>>Bitter /r9k/ virgins will claim they didnt work hard for this
This
>>38114554
Those 3 guys even if they were skinny or skinny fat have faces that would get them laid
>>38114554
>inb4 someone says they're from a privileged class because of USC
Reminder USC are being generous now and are accepting transfers with full rides if you're not an asshole and have good grades.
>got promoted to assistant manager at local lumber yard two weeks ago
>it has been going fine
>today we have an employee meeting, everyone is there
>I have been dreading this, considering the assistant managers task is to present the talking points of the meeting
>In office with general manager getting ready to face the staff, who are sitting in the stock yard
>when i get nervous I have to pee
>excuse myself before we head back to the stock yard
>take piss and walk out of bathroom
>as I am heading to the back i look down and see some dots of piss have soaked through the khakis i am wearing
>I never wear khakis usually, because of this, but it is the uniform
>half way through the presentation and the gm yells out "hey look at those piss dots!"
>i am in shock and look down at the dots out of instinct
>staff erupts in laughter
>on my next shift every one refers to me as "piss dot with not"
>they all know i am single and i try to play it off as being a mysterious 40 year old bachlear
>i realize they see through my facade now
>>38114532
Jesus christ anon, what a life
>>38114532
>piss dot with not
I don't get it
>>38114578
OP spelled naught wrong.
Piss dot with naught.
Meaning Piss dot with nothing. Basically a guy with nothing in his life.
Although people wouldn't know those are piss dots, once I recall I got some splash back on a particularly poorly designed urinal so at the sink I just got some water on my shirt so it looks like I was careless with washing my hands and no one said anything.
Should I wreck my lungs with cigarettes, /r9k/?
Pic related is the view out the window.
>>38114461
Don't fuck your lungs up.
Your window looks comfy as fuck btw.
>>38114461
yeah ok sure why not
Yes you should. Makes you feel good and has the benefit of probably giving you cancer so that when your old and still a failure you can die early.
I specifically started smoking because of this.
Was that a gun shot or fireworks?
>>38114454
It was a gun.
>>38114651
That's it, I'm gonna tell those kids to stop firing their guns
WOOOO CMON ANON NOWS OUR TIME
2007 is widely considered the year where everything went to shit on this site. How true is it?
Social media gets really popular
PRISM Internet-spying program begins
The Big bang theory debuts, popularizing "geek culture"
Tumblr founded
Facebook, which began allowing non-college emails to register in Sept 2006, and Reddit, both report significant increases in traffic
Myspace reports a significant decrease in traffic
Michael Bay's transformers
1st Generation iPhones launches, allowing idiots easy access to the Internet
Twitter gains massive popularity after a marketing campaign at SXSW Festival
The Cake is a Lie, one of the first Reddit-tier memes and possibly one of the first memes that the majority have no idea of its origin, becomes popular
"Keep Calm and Carry on" appears on Google trends
Great Recession begins
Crank That Soulja Boy
Keeping Up with the Kardashians
Obamamania begins and the current wave of SJWs and loony liberals slowly gain power (they voted for a man based solely on his skin color)
History Channel begins to show not-history shows
Brendan gets divorced and loses much of his alimony in the settlement (JUST)
G4 cancels their last remaining game-related shows and at this point is filled with shit reruns like Cheaters and COPS
>>38114446
oldfag here. Summer 2006 is when the gates broke loose. Raids are what really brought the masses here.
>>38114446
At least Fallout 3, Mass Effect, and Bioshock came out that year....
>>38114590
Fallout 3 was 2008. But COD4 came out in 07 tho
I need some advice fellow robots
> Be me 18, just got out of HS
> Sister knows I don't go out much & have never had a GF
> Few weeks ago introduces me to her QT friend
> Manage to not sperg out
> Talk a little bit but nothing else happens other than meeting her
> She comes over a couple more times, talk to her a little
> Be yesterday
> Sister says her friend thinks I'm cute and would date me. Says she's ready
What do I do next bros???? I have no clue what to do
You're 18, just go with it and take it as a learning experience
Don't be yourself.
Don't say stupid shit. You can tell her things you enjoy doing, but don't get too over the top with any one topic (unless she seems really into it), and most importantly, don't rush it.
>>38114388
First rule: Never get comfortable with her.
Second rule: Pretend to be like her.
First rule is needed for Second rule.
Second rule is needed because once she thinks you two are alike, she'll start noticing it more, then she'll think you two are made for one another.
Also some advice, look in to spirituality. Personally I don't believe in it, but having that knowledge of how it works, and if you two are compatible 'on that other level' so to speak will get her to think of the soul mates thing more seriously.
This will get you two a lot closer quickly. Smash n' dash like Chad if you wish.
the willy is waking up!
who woke the willy?
>>38114386
Why do white people always have weird ass shit all over their skin? Does that guy have cancer or something, what the hell are those things on his stomach?
Your dick is really nice and I would love to suck it like a cock hungry whore.
But your stomach is kinda gross.
A thread about shitty neighbors. Share your stories with me.
There's these dumbass Mexicans up the street from me who always block the road with their shitty beat up trucks. I'm gonna start cutting their tires soon
>>38114362
>stuck in shitty trailer park for the next few weeks until I move again
>asshole with loud muffler drives by constantly
>old guy nearby mows his lawn every other day
>live across the street from the pool, always hear obnoxious kids screaming outside of my room
I want off this ride.
>>38114418
>asshole with loud muffler drives by constantly
h-hi