Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 1307. page

>Does the choice between earbuds and headphones matter?
Not even a little. Your parents are morons

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>>18466928
>are telling me that if I constantly do this, it will be really bad for my ears in the long run

Do your parents also tell you not to swallow gum or it'll stick to your heart? Or not to make yourself cross eyed or you'll go blind? It's only bad if you listen at high volumes

>Does the choice between earbuds and headphones matter?
Headphones are better for home use. Earbuds/IEMs for portable

>less squeezing on the head
1. Get better headphones or 2. Put your headphones on an object as you would on your head e.g Put your headphones on a box or something. It goes away over time anyways

I wish I could sucker punch your other two replies.

Using IEMs WILL damage your hearing. I know because Ive done it to myself. I hear ringing in my ears right now as I type this. Im a little older and got into earbuds a long time ago when they were new. I used to wear earplugs to concerts to protect my earing. I had no idea that iems would do it.

Google it. Theres a bunch of primary research out there proving iems at volume WILL hurt you. Please go read it. Its no wives tale, your parents are trying to help you. I recently toldmy father who was using a pair. A pair of cans is way safer.

Unfortunately I hear nothing but crickets in this thread.

I have no experience with depression, and I don't know the extent of your depression either, but I think if I were you I'd try to make lifestyle changes first, if only because of the cost of healthcare in your country. I was, and unfortunately still am, quite a bit of a social recluse, but going out to meetups (from meetup.com) has been an alright experience. I even made some friends. If you are Christian I don't see any reason not to try church, too.

>>18466665

Go to a professional because they can help you decide what to do next. Your insurance probably covers it. You can probably also make sure there's no trail if you have access to the insurance information.

In the meantime, because it takes time to set up appointments and such, do what you can with lifestyle changes. Even the tiniest changes can help a lot. I like to go on late night walks. I try to spend a little bit more of my time cleaning and doing simple chores. Sounds boring and irrelevant but stuff like that makes a difference and affect your mood.

>>18466803

Thanks. I have been trying to change things and I think it has helped. In a way though it's also caused me more problems. For example, a couple weeks ago I managed to go out and socialize for the evening. I felt better for a while, but then I got more depressed knowing that I was going to go back to being a hermit. It's a struggle.

>>18467496
This sounds like a good plan. Do you have any advice on choosing a professional to go to?

>>18466462
>she isn't fat either, just curvy
so she's fat lol.

Also
> I did say some cruel things
>Is it justified for me to feel jealous and angry?
No. You said a shitty thing you probably didn't mean just to hurt him in the heat of an argument, and he did it back, because he knows your insecurity.

At the end of the day though, your insecurities aren't his problem. There is absolutely nothing he can say or do that will make you feel better about your tits. Only you can do that.

Save up and get some balloons if it bothers you that badly. Chances are you'll just pick a new thing to be insecure about because deep down this is a much bigger psychological issue and not actually about your tits.

>>18466462
>Is it justified for me to feel jealous and angry?
Eh, kind of. On one hand, it was something he said out of anger and I'm sure you said stuff that's equally bad. And just because he likes bigger tits doesn't mean he doesn't like you. But on the other hand, that's a pretty shit thing to say in anger, and whatever you said can't have been better.

Seems to me like you're both in the wrong here, and equally so. I'm certain you don't think he's absolutely perfect and wish he were different in some ways too, and you weren't supposed to hear what he said to his friends.

>>18466471
I never said anything about his looks though.

Plus I didn't care about my tits size until I met him.

>>18464144
I dislike the fact that this thread keeps taking up a spot in /adv/

I'm shitting piss.

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>>18464148
This and "Ask The Other Sex Anything"

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>>18469962

>I hate the thought of having a wedding

You don't have to have a wedding. Getting married doesn't require one.

>Anyone on here so that thing where you start calling your SO your husband/wife but never actually have a wedding or file the paperwork?

Look up common law marriage. After being with someone long enough, legally, you're married and share the exact same benefit and "entaglement" that married couples do. Getting a marriage license is just a formality at a certain point.

>don't like the idea of unnecessarily entangling myself with a guy

3. I think you have bigger issues in your relationship than getting married if you really view dedicating to spend the rest of your life with the person you love as an "unnecessary entanglement".

>>18469986

>You don't have to have a wedding. Getting married doesn't require one.

I realize that, but I don't want either.

>Look up common law marriage. After being with someone long enough, legally, you're married and share the exact same benefit and "entaglement" that married couples do. Getting a marriage license is just a formality at a certain point.

Live in a state that doesn't do common law marriage.

>I think you have bigger issues in your relationship than getting married if you really view dedicating to spend the rest of your life with the person you love as an "unnecessary entanglement".

I don't see any benefit to it and realize that no matter how warm and fuzzy my feelings are now, I cannot know the future. Why make things harder for ourselves if things change ten years down the road if we get no benefit from it?

>>18469962
>But I feel like calling him my boyfriend is going to start sounding juvenile and get embarrassing the more we age.
People tend to call their SO their partner as they get older. I personally don't really like it though, since it kind of implies that you're in a homosexual relationship.

You can do whatever tou want whenever you want to do it.

>>18469718
more money
less drama
can have sex with anyone that's willing

Freedom.

>>18469686
Your dad's right about this being foolish, but this is probably something you're going to need to learn the hard way.

Assuming you're going to be getting laid, it's probably not going to be as disappointing as your dad thinks it is. Please be smart about this though.

One of the things that you have to realize about long distance relationships like this is that you don't really know the other person. Even if the other person isn't deliberately trying to deceive you, pretty much everything you know about them comes through their communicating it to you, rather than you observation. You're getting a filtered version of them that can be at great odds with reality.

Your exposure to the other person has also been completely under their control -- they only communicate with you when they want to.

The actual person might be quite different from your impression of them.

Plus you're very young.

If you knew this girl from "real life" and then she moved and you've been maintaining the relationship, I would expect it to have a higher chance of success.

Anyway, if it were me, I'd probably go see her.

Be optimistic, but also be realistic.

>>18469686
used to be in your situation, only that i was 16.
>parents refuse 'cuz it's easter n shit
>cry all day
>2 days later on a tuesday
>dad goes to work
>mom is still home
>i pack my shit up
>"mom i'm going out with some friends"
>"okay"
>takes bus to <insert_city_here>
><insert_day_here>
>miss the last bus back to my city
>plan fails but i least i saw my (then) gf

i kept doing this though, and i've had more freedom ever since. you could try it out too.

>>18469686
why the fuck are you spending your money to go? you guys should meet half way or they should come to you. you're only 18 and it's going to cost you what, $2,000?

>>18469610


If you've got irl friends get them to play through scenarios with DND rules.
They can choise what they see fit and you can get a glimpse of what it is like from an outside perspective.

Or if you know actors /writers ask them.


Or you could leave it, let the work be for a small period of time and then go back to it and see if it still rings the same.

Chances are a break will solve issues and if something doesn't feel right then change it.

>>18469633
Also not a book but a very good resource

https://curiosityquills.com/limyaael/

A collection of someone's well thought out thoughts on fantasy amd sci fi.

There's certainly a few articles around this area.

>>18469610
In terms of language, you may want to just go to a mall and hang out and listen to how people talk to each other.

As far as behavior goes, you don't need to have dialogue explaining why a character is doing what they're doing. All you have to do is show their behavior.

As far as writing a "smart" character, it's difficult to write clever dialogue or have someone demonstrating their intelligence if YOU are not particularly witty or intelligent yourself. If you have good ideas for stories, you may wish to collaborate with someone else.

Pls respond

>>18469584
>blood test
yeah, you're probably autistic.

seriously though, go to your doctor. tell them your fears. they'll help you through

>>18469609
So i imagine I'll be asked questions which will determine? Have not seen a doctor in years

>No birth-control
gg anon, better start praying now

>>18469379
Why do people do this? Why not just get birth control?

>>18469387
Im shitting myself bro

It doesn't seem real , it will be a week late this Saturday and she says and she says she is going to get one of them tests on Sunday , I hope to fuck she isn't

>>18469370
haha
ha
hahahaha
oh anon you're a cuck.

>>18469370
No one here owns a crystal ball that shows the future.

>Will she change her mind about me?

Isn't that a conversation you should have with HER? I mean shit, no one here knows what your "issues" are or if you've actually changed. No one here (except you) knows her, and if you don't know what she's going to do, why would a bunch of strangers know better?

>Is 6 years too long to wait when she doesn't even seem sure about me?

Considering where you are in life and what you've written about her, I wouldn't wait. You get to live your own life and make your own choices though.

Why would you make a huge financial decision like buying a house without consulting her first? Why would you want her to stop her education in the middle of it all?

>>18469209
1. Personally i do Awareness meditation and rarely get depressed these days ,if i do feel it come up i meditate and it's gone again

2.You are going in this with a I MUST HAVE THIS SPECIFIC RESULT ASAP attitude, start off slow 10 minutes a day and build it up and let go of expectations

>>18469235
From what the first few links on Google show, Awareness meditation mainly involves focusing on the breath and generally being aware of bodily sensations. Do I have that right? If so, I'll give it a shot.

>let go of expectations
I did just that; I wouldn't have stuck with that method for two weeks otherwise. While I understand that trying to will the mind to still itself is like expecting muddy water to clear up by sloshing it with one's hand, there is an inherent paradox. The only reason I'm meditating is to fix a problem. If a particular technique can't do that, then I'm better off spending those two hours exploring other ways to fix my depression.

>>18469209
do a guided mindfulness meditation. Don't expect to be a zen master in a week. Also think about chanting.

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>>18469195
???
>we rarely talk
so engage her in conversation more often
> we have no hobbies in common
so explore more options together and find one that you both like
come the fuck on dude this is common sense shit.

>>18469200
I don't know what to talk about with her. As for hobbies, she would go along with whatever I suggest but I doubt she would truly enjoy herself. It's not the same when someone is forcing themselves to do stuff for your sake, you know what I mean? She's scared of water, scared of heights, hates socializing and she's sick all the time. She has no passion for anything but me.

>>18469200
Whenever we try doing stuff together it's always tedious. We went to a greek festival a while back and her mere presence made it awkward and boring. She's so damn autistic that the autism leaks out of her pores and infects anything she touches.

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>>18469189

So I get to her place once I walk in to her room I put down the cupcakes and I mentioned that it was hot and humid for the drive, said I forgot a lunch I preped at home and wanted to go back and eat it, and I made a joke at my own expense about being a delivery boy. She viewed these conversation starters I made as complaining one after another and got upset with me and spoke as if I was trying to pull sympathy out of her, or make her feel bad asking for something. I argued that I wasnt.
This developed into her telling me to leave before I intended to, me leaving and being told over the phone, "you know I didn't mean it you're supposed to stay I told you this" (she wants some sort of chase. if she storms out she wants me to follow and drag her back.) And arguing half the way home being asked to come back.
I didn't and I'm home now, I'm upset too. She was being a total jerk to me over the phone on the way home in between asking me to turn around.
How bad did I mess up guys?

>She was a bitch
>You didn't handle her shit and went home

You didn't fuck up, she did. She has to realize you're not her emotional cumdumpster and that she can use you like a tool.

>>18469199
So sayeth the dubs. Thanks for a response and the support homie.
Now, hopefully another person will check out the post and maybe explain some things I could do better carrying on.

You deserve everything you've got.

No and you don't deserve her

learn from your mistakes. move on. time will heal.