Anyone on here so that thing where you start calling your SO

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>>18469962

>I hate the thought of having a wedding

You don't have to have a wedding. Getting married doesn't require one.

>Anyone on here so that thing where you start calling your SO your husband/wife but never actually have a wedding or file the paperwork?

Look up common law marriage. After being with someone long enough, legally, you're married and share the exact same benefit and "entaglement" that married couples do. Getting a marriage license is just a formality at a certain point.

>don't like the idea of unnecessarily entangling myself with a guy

3. I think you have bigger issues in your relationship than getting married if you really view dedicating to spend the rest of your life with the person you love as an "unnecessary entanglement".

>>18469986

>You don't have to have a wedding. Getting married doesn't require one.

I realize that, but I don't want either.

>Look up common law marriage. After being with someone long enough, legally, you're married and share the exact same benefit and "entaglement" that married couples do. Getting a marriage license is just a formality at a certain point.

Live in a state that doesn't do common law marriage.

>I think you have bigger issues in your relationship than getting married if you really view dedicating to spend the rest of your life with the person you love as an "unnecessary entanglement".

I don't see any benefit to it and realize that no matter how warm and fuzzy my feelings are now, I cannot know the future. Why make things harder for ourselves if things change ten years down the road if we get no benefit from it?

>>18469962
>But I feel like calling him my boyfriend is going to start sounding juvenile and get embarrassing the more we age.
People tend to call their SO their partner as they get older. I personally don't really like it though, since it kind of implies that you're in a homosexual relationship.

>>18469999

>I don't see any benefit to it and realize that no matter how warm and fuzzy my feelings are now, I cannot know the future.

Then don't get married, thats fine, but also understand that I think your logic is flawed.

"I can't commit to something because it might go wrong eventually" could be used to justify not taking any risk in life. If we all lived based on that thought process humans would never accomplish anything.

>Why make things harder for ourselves if things change ten years down the road if we get no benefit from it?

What if what if what if. Those are the big questions aren't they? Like I said, you're well within your rights not to want to get married and plenty of people don't but I'm not a fan of your logic.

Living your life based on a handful of "what ifs" seems like a really strange way to live to me.

I also don't understand what the difference would be if you're in a relationship with someone for 15 years without a marriage license and being with someone for 15 years with a marriage license. I don't understand how having that marriage license inherently makes things harder for you.

I'm not arguing for marriage, I'm just trying to understand your logic. Things will change 10 years down the road, married or not. Thats what life and relationships are. It sounds as though you're more worried about your relationship lasting than you are about being married because all of the difficulties of being in a long term relationship you're bringing up have little or nothing to do with whether or not you have a marriage certificate filed at the county clerk's office.

That piece of paper doesn't make being with someone for the rest of your life any more or less complicated. Maybe legally, sure, but even then with all the financial pre-nup options available that isn't even really an issue anymore.

>>18470013

Hm, partner. I can see how people might think that I'm gay. Most married folk refer to their spouse as wife/husband so I would be the odd one out. I'd be fine with it otherwise though.

>>18470025
There is benefit for it, though. Marriage allows you to share things like loans, insurance policies, legal rights, custody, visitation, wills, etc. There are advantages to getting married.

I actually knew somebody who wasn't married to their "spouse". When their "spouse" died suddenly, they got totally screwed over. They didn't get any life insurance, didn't get ownership of the house, anything that was in the guy's name and would have gone to her as next of kin didn't go to her because there were no documents proving she was next of kin via marriage etc.

>>18470025

>"I can't commit to something because it might go wrong eventually" could be used to justify not taking any risk in life. If we all lived based on that thought process humans would never accomplish anything.

I don't think that we should take any risks that don't have a benefit. But if there is a benefit to the risk, it changes everything. I went to college even though I could have failed and wasted a lot of time and money. But the benefit of better employability and pay was worth the risk. But what benefit is there to marriage?

>Living your life based on a handful of "what ifs" seems like a really strange way to live to me.

It seems strange to me to not consider the what ifs. I like to plan for the unexpected. I have a vision of how my life will play out and I also realize things might not happen as I expect and I should consider those possibilities. I love my boyfriend and want to be with him, but at the same time things might change. I sacrifice flexibility by getting marriage, but I don't see what I gain.

>That piece of paper doesn't make being with someone for the rest of your life any more or less complicated. Maybe legally, sure, but even then with all the financial pre-nup options available that isn't even really an issue anymore.

Marriage isn't the sole source of complications when breaking up. But I also tend to avoid other causes as well. Hell, he bought a house recently and was willing to put my name on it despite not having much to contribute to the down payment. But I opted to not have partial ownership because I knew it would make it harder to separate. Instead I pay half the mortgage as rent without getting any equity. So while I'm talking about marriage right now, I don't just limit this reasoning to marriage.

Pre-nups can't cover anything and I'd rather just not have to deal with them if avoidable.

>>18470043

If I decide that I want kids, marriage would be a wise choice. But right now, I'm pretty meh on them. Financially, I like to keep things separate. The things that have come up so far have been easy enough to set up without marriage. It would be nice to have power of attorney if something happens but that is pretty easy to set up without getting married.

>They didn't get any life insurance, didn't get ownership of the house, anything that was in the guy's name and would have gone to her as next of kin didn't go to her because there were no documents proving she was next of kin via marriage etc.

You can name anyone you want as a beneficiary with life insurance, they don't need to be a part of your family. I don't expect any of his properties that isn't also in my name, but if that was an issue having a will in place would fix all of those concerns. Which you should have regardless of your marital status.

>>18469962
I don't think I understand what is embarrassing about calling someone your boyfriend because of your age. Why would you give a fuck what other people think of this?

Why would you call him your "husband" when you don't want him to be your husband, and you specifically don't want the commitment that being married would entail?

Your attitude is that you're keeping your options open and you want to make it easy to leave. That's fine, but I would find it insulting if someone like that wanted me to call her my wife and I wouldn't play along.

>>18470064

>I don't think that we should take any risks that don't have a benefit. But if there is a benefit to the risk, it changes everything.

What risk do you keep talking about? I don't understand.

>It seems strange to me to not consider the what ifs. I like to plan for the unexpected

Considering what ifs and strictly adhering to them are completely different things.

>I sacrifice flexibility by getting marriage, but I don't see what I gain.

There is a lot of gain, legally. Again, I don't understand what the sacrifice is, unless of course by "flexibility" you mean just being able to up and jump out of the relationship whenever you feel its gotten too much which, like I said, is more of an issue with your relationship and not with the institute of marriage.

>Pre-nups can't cover anything and I'd rather just not have to deal with them if avoidable.

Well that just isn't true. I really feel like you're doing a lot of mental gymnastics here to kind of skirt around the holes in your logic. I get the distinct feeling that this entire thing is more about your panic with a long term relationship and its implications on the rest of your life than it is about getting married.

If you really had your mind so made up about marriage not only would you not give a shit about the arbitrary husband/wife monicker but you wouldn't be here asking these questions.

Your reasoning and your application of said reasoning seem very contradictory to me. You're in here saying "I don't like marriage, I don't want marriage" yet in the same breath you're in here arguing with random anons point by point over a topic you claim to have completely made up your mind about. It just doesn't track, OP.

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>>18470064
>>18470079

Its almost as if, in your constant attempt to convince us that marriage is a risky, obsolete institution that yields no reward you've just revealed to us that your real intention is to actually convince yourself. It really is the only logical explanation for your confusing and contradictory position on marriage.

Think about it, I mean, you come on here with an apparent anxiety and need for validation in calling your boyfriend your husband, meaning you obviously have some kind of unresolved feeling about marriage and having a husband or this would be a complete non-issue. Then, almost unnecessarily, you repeatedly state that you see no point in getting married. Over the course of a few posts, in a seemingly contradictory side-step, you completely ignore the fact that your original question was only about calling your boyfriend your husband and go out of your way to pain-stakingly process every sentence we say through your preconceived logical conclusion that marriage is too risky and there are no benefits.

You're SO fixated on the fact that you can accomplish everything you want in life without marriage that it has become strikingly apparent that it isn't us you're trying to convince, its you. Its like you came here to bait us into an argument about the viability of marriage just so you would have an excuse to test out your justifications for not doing so.

If you really don't care and you really don't want it then why are you here? Why are you spending so much time and energy taking up a torch for the anti-marriage brigade? Why couldn't you just call him your husband for appearances and just leave it at that? So much of you is not making sense right now.