>cashier tells me to have a nice day >intentionally have

>>38736123
>doctor asks me if i am well
>tell him im great
>arent actually great

>>38736123
>go to house party
>unplug the fridge and freezer while everyone is drunk

SOMEBODY STOP ME

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>>38736123
>go on tf2
>every time you et a kill type "baddie down"

>>38736123
>go to /pol/
>say hillary won the popular vote and that Trump is an illegitimate president

collect your free replies

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>>38736893
>voted by a majority of Americans to be president
>doesn't become president

>>38736123
>defend black people on 4chan
>actually hate niggers and wish for their genocide

I POUR THE MILK BEFORE THE CEREAL

You guys are ao dirty.

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>>38736123
>go to shoe shop
>ask for several pairs of shoes of varying sizes from the back
>when i see them return with a pile of shoes
>leave

>"see you later!"
>don't

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>>38736123
>be in army
>have friend who is sniper
>mess with his settings of the scopes everytime i walk past

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>>38736123
>cashier tell me to have nice day
>murder her family for telling me what to do

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>go on /soc/
>meet up with gay guy through thread
>have sex with him
>am not actually gay

get fucked faggot

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>>38736123
>go to random thread
>reply "nice bait" to random anon
>leave thread

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>go to supermarket
>get cart full of items
>cashier scans them
>say i forgot my wallet and leave

>>38736123
>someone tells me I'm working too slow
>work even slower

>>38736123
>cashier spouts an apathetic and monotonous 'good day'
>reply with a genuine and sincere 'You too'

>>38736971
That depends on what the definition of "American" is to be honest.

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>>38736971
Bbbbbut
>Muh majority vote

>>38738734
Because the only people who matter live in those areas

>>38736971
>niggers
>americans

Founding fathers clearly knew what they were doing when they set up the electoral college. You can't just import 100 million foreigners into a single state and then rule the entire country.

>>38738756
obviously they matter too much to pay taxes or obey the law

>>38738756
>Chicago
>All time high July 4th homicide this year probably over the color shirt they're wearing
>Only people who matter

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>>38736123
>"Gimme a second"
>Know full well I will take longer than one second

>Click the WAIT button to cross the road
>Cars stop
>Don't cross

>Order several hard to make drinks at bar
>Leave before they ask for money

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>>38737104
>order happy meal
>not actually happy

>>38736123
> anyone asks anything about life; meeting after long time
> say I'm doing all right

I'm in deep shit. I'm practically living on borrowed time.

>>38736316
I see this every fucking devilish thread, but isn't this unironically bad? You basically guarantee the food will spoil and all the ice would melt.

If you did this at a high school house party, the host would probably have a lot of explaining to do.

I'm that one guy who never drinks at parties, and am sober enough to see people doing dumb shit that will bite them in the ass, and letting someone do this will bite you in the ass.

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>ask mom how long she'll be gone acting like I'm scared
>just want to know how long I'll have the house to myself

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>customer owes $9.03
>pays with a $20.00
>give her $11.00
DON'T FUCK WITH THIS DUCK