Hey /r9k/, here's the story of how my parents were so disappointed

>>34148606
Just talk to her normally. Go out of the bathroom and just see it as a social outing with a friend, not as a date.

Take it easy, try to enjoy the game and see what happens. If it doesn't work out that's ok, if it does that's great as well

>>34148606
girls are no harder to talk to than guys. talk to her like you'd talk to anyone else. be polite and shit if you really want her to like you

>>34148606

Pretend she's a dude and then turn a filter on that prevents you from talking about robot things.

>>34148809
>prevent a robot from talking about robot things
LOL! The dude almost backed out of a date just to play wow. How do you expect him not to fuck this up?

>inb4 OP gets on kisscam with his date

Just b urself OP it'll be fine xD

>>34148606
Just talk to her like she's a dude. She might be cool if she likes hockey. Music is a good topic to talk about. Don't mention video games

>>34148846


lmao this

OP your dad doesn't expect you to get anywhere with this girl, he knows you're going to fuck it up too. He just wants you to TRY. You going to the game is already enough for him

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>>34148912
I went back.

"Hey anon, you said you were going to get some beers!?"

"Oh, yeah, sorry. I'll go get those."

"Alright cutie, don't be too long this time."

What the fuck? I'm not even doing anything and she's definitely out of my league. Typing this in line at the "bar".

Is she just using me for free beer? I can't tell.

>>34148606
Anon, just go to her, hang out and then go home or try to be with her.

if you don't want to be with her still hang out and be nice whatever you choose you probably don't even have to say much, just give her attention every now and then, women are just fucking lizards dude, all of them are sociopaths, machines, however they can be enjoyable, they just require attention.

The furthest i've gone with a girl is getting nudes and i'm a neet, you can do this anon, i believe in you.

>>34148985

Yes, but if she has fun and doesn't think you're a creep you could get laid too.

>>34148985
She seems to be enjoying her time with you, just talk to her and that's it.

Stop checking this fucking thread. Literally just talk to her a bit, you don't need some great flirting game or whatever

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>>34148985
Are you fucking stupid it means she wants the McDick you Ronald McDonald looking ass faggot.

>>34148985
Okay I have serious trust issues and would think the same in your situation.
Just dont think about stuff like this. Or you will end up like me...

And stop browsing 4chan.

>>34148912
>anon tries to behimself
>"I... I was r.. raiding with my guild whe-"
>"haha anon are you seriously talking about video games?"
>"mmmmhh.... Mmm n... no"
>"anon why are you sweating so much....?"
>"y... You t.. to...."
>"anon your such a creep, your dad promised me you wouldnt be weird"
>goes home
>"son how'd it go?"
>dad starts crying when you tell him
>goes back to raiding, promises never to date normie scum again

>>34149078
I only have a 5.5 incher, 4.5 around...

She seems like a Stacy but also has a "traditional catholic goodygoody" vibe.

Wat do?

Tell her she's cute.

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>>34149132
Just be yourself anon, it's not that hard.

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>>34149132
Hope your tongue game is strong or that your dick game is more advanced than I think it could've gotten while fucking that onahole of yours.

I'll be back in 1-2 hours. I'll update you guys then. I can't keep autistically checking my phone and typing for 1-2 minute stretches.

Pray for me, robots, may KEK be with me.

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>>34149240
Remember that you're not gonna get laid on the first date.

Don't get caught looking at titty.

>>34149240
I'll be waiting for you anon

>>34149383
seconding this.

I wish you the best of luck for you anon!

>>34148985
>>34149240


Anon please don't fuck this up. You don't have to prove yourself, just enjoy the thing and don't go back to this place for today. I'm using your story to fuel my depression and imagine what I would do in your situation. I wouldn't do any better but sti ll......,

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>>34148606
>going to a Cucks game
>not spending the entire game pelting Cucks fans with popcorn and soda

>>34148606
dont fuck this up now OP

DonT die. Bump

Bump too. Must hear back from OP

>>34148985
Drinking will make you better at conversation.

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>Cucks vs Sparkledogs
lmao that's like the most boring imagineable game

>>34148985
Your dad probably paid her, now I'm a bitter hateful faggot so this might not be the best advice, but I would tell her and your dad to fuck off

>>34150297
I thought the same.
But if he does not think about it he might never end up as a wizard.

Put me in the screencap if Anon gets lucky

Don't try and make a move on her, just act like she is a normal dude you hang with.

Make sure you invite her for some hot chocolate at your house after, so your dad can see with his own eyes that you pulled off the date and that she didn't leave you before the end of the first period

>>34149240
Well OP, can you atleast post a picture for proofs? i feel like everyone in this thread might be being baited

>>34148606
just be yourself. tell her you are a sperg that likes my little pony

if dubs all goes well for OP and for the rest of us

Get 'er boned.

>>34151599

>so your dad can see with his own eyes that you pulled off the date

You do realize that both their parents organized the date right?

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Get the girl and free yourself from this robot hell! No longer will you screech in disgust at normies, but rather you will be the one who is screeched at!

>>34152254
God damn. You can fucking tell this is a first post.

>>34152254
God damn. You can fucking tell this is a first post. Sorry, robots for being technically inept.

Last bump for today. I hope OP becomes a fucking normie.

Bumperino

May the almighty Kek look down on you with favourable eyes, anon

Bump, faggot OP where are you?

Where are you OP? Did you get some ass?

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fucking rused again

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It seems like your Coyotes got shut out so that's really shitty, you couldn't celebrate a goal with the QT.

How'd it go? One of the nice parts of going on a date with someone to a sports event is that you don't have to talk.

>>34149170
>be yourself
i know its a meme but being his self should be the last thing he does.

OP here. Will write up when I get home in a few minutes.

>>34154375
faggot
i am just about to go to bed after all this waiting

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who /bruins/ here

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>>34154403
fuck you, you ruined my life in 2011.

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Last chance OP
bloxblox

>>34154390
OP here, I have no doubt that some fucking normie is going to post this on reddit. You can read it there 100% sure.

>>34149015
>women are just fucking lizards dude, all of them are sociopaths, machines, however they can be enjoyable

fucking kekles, well said

>write up in a couple minutes
>almost an hour later

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>>34154375
Well OP, when are you gonna deliver?

Bump because I wanna read the end

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OP pls deliever

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so while op is a faggot, anyone have any other troubles or stories to share while we wait?

>>34148606
unless you absolutely hate sports a free hockey game is cool. ask your dad for some cash for the date and eat/drink for free. just talk to her about the game and nothing else and she won't have anything bad about you to say, she'll assume you're just a sports buff

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why are you being a faggot op?

It must have gone well. OP is no longer a robot and has left the board.

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>>34155659
:( me sad

lmao OP took you faggots for a ruse cruise

>>34155460
I dont know if I could call this trouble but I am so fucking hungry all the time im going crazy. I live alone and dont have a kitchen in the house = no food all the time.
Every 2-3 days I go out to a bakery or burkerking to get some food, usually I just drink alcohol to forget the hunger but it makes things just worse.
The problem is that money is absolutly no issue, I am just a lazy fuck.
Since I moved out from my parents house I live like a homeless man, for example I dont have towels, I use some tshirts to dry myself after a shower, I dont have chairs, tables, generally almost no furniture, I keep all my trash in the house, I dont have any glasses so I mix my alcohol in old redbullcans etc...

Not sure why im posting this I guess I just wanna bump the thread.

Sometimes I almost wish my parents would set me up on a date. I could never work up the courage to ask a girl out.

>>34155682
Jokes on you; I just want the (You). Did you see how I orchestrated that? It was so perfect. I just memed the same meme everyone here memes, but I put it out there so gently you couldn't resist.
It's like asking a slut what her sign is. It's a horrible line, of course, but she can't help but to roll her eyes and answer anyway. And that's all you need. Once she responds you both know she will be yours. The door is open.
And in that same way, you are now mine. I have you and your (You) and there is no way for you to change that. You have been dominated, used, and soon will be discarded.
But you knew this would be the case when you responded. It's the silly game we play here. We pretend we're actually conversing but it's all really just a ridiculous dance. One partner leads, the other follows, and neither has truly gained nor lost anything.
We carry on, and we know we'll do it again and again. Probably not with the same partner, but that's ok. It's the thrill of the hunt that keeps us coming back. The thrill of hunting and, if we're being honest, the thrill of the vulnerability of being hunted.
Thanks for dancing with me, anon.

>>34155460
I'll pick it up. This is a continuation of a thread that died a little bit ago about bad high school experiences. This is mine


In high school, I was technically a popular kid but my school was super small, at about 150 per class, so e erroneous was friends with everyone

> Junior in high school
> about 6'3", 275-300 pounds
> fupa.gif
> wore basketball shorts everyday, because when I was young, my frienxs all had nice basketball shorts, while I wore Walmart brand, so I had really nice shorts to compensate for lost time
> go to school, whatever
>lunchtime, go home because no friends invited me. The usual
> come back with about 7 minutes left, standing in the main lobby
> apparently a group of acquaintances of mine were talking about me wearing shorts everyday, could probably see my weiner
> had a small weiner because fupa and a naturally tight ballsack that was only tighter because it was cold out (April in Massachusetts)
> weenie was sticking up and out, like how a boner would
> one of the acquaintances that I pretended to be friends with pantsed me
> I hated him from the moment I first saw him
> was wearing loose boxers, so everything came down, exposing everything
> don't know what to do, fucking lost
> end up picking the guy up (I'm pretty strong), and lift him onto a table
> he gets down and confronts me because he's alpha and I was a secret beta
> stand there for twenty seconds, feels like an eternity
> look around, the whole area of around 200+ kids are staring at me, waiting for a reaction
> I just walked away

Thank God spring break was two days away. I skipped them, but I was actually sick with a stomach bug, but I wouldn't have went anyway

I look back fondly because I grew a lot as a person. I especially don't care anymore because I'm a 6'4", slightly handsome rising alpha that lost 130 lbs with a 4.0 GPA, and they're all stuck in that shit hole, working wagecuck jobs, never to achieve better
> inb4 normie reeee
I'm just a rising Chad

whoa this thread just became incredibly hayai

Where is op

I need closure on that anecdote

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OP HERE WITH AN UPDATE

We went back to her place after the game, disappointed because of the loss. We ordered a pizza and watched a couple reruns of Friends while I tried not to sperg out. She mentions that she plays the guitar and I tell her that I play too. (I do.)
She brings out a really nice guitar, a really old Martin. Eventually the guitar is in my hands and I'm grooving pretty nicely.

> "I really like a guy who's into sports but also has an artistic side."

In my head I'm thinking, what the fuck is she talking about, I'm playing basic G runs and bluegrass licks. She's obviously a fucking normie.

One thing leads to another and I've lost my kiss virginity. Shifting to greentext.

> Basically making out on her couch now
> Hear a door open and some shuffling
> We stop kissing
> Hear a voice "Jenny, is that you?"
> She replies "Yeah, I brought someone over, is that OK?"
> This guy is a cuck. For sure.
> Hear him make a faint "O-ok yeah that's fine."

It hits me

If I fuck her then I'm literally cucking a guy, making me a normie.

She's on top of me now and grinding, my dick is full on diamonds.

I

fucking

came.

She blushed and said "Already? I must be doing a good job."

"Y-yeah you're really hot."

"You're not too bad yourself guitar boy"

"I'd sure love to pluck your G string"

watdidijustsay.tar.gz

No joke I actually said that thinking it was clever. The episode of Friends had that in it and I thought I was being clever.

"Ok"

I fucked up like, twice now. I'd been autistic the whole night and she still wanted to fuck me. What? I don't understand.

Long story short despite me fucking prem ejacing and being an autist I still managed to cuck a guy.

Came home with a shit-eating grin and gave my dad the look and he gave me a hug.

My dad is proud of me.

I'm glad that I went to a hockey game today instead of playing WoW.

I'm very happy for the first time in a long time.

>>34155889

Solid. Should have penetrated tho.

>>34148606
How long was her tongue?

>>34155889
I keep reminding myself she's probably a slut so I shouldn't feel jealous

>>34155889
that was probably her dad, dipshit. how the fuck did you cuck anyone?

>>34155686
man what make you that lazy if you arent poor as fuck? the alcohol or something? sounds concerning desu

>>34155889
>Jenny

Fuck mate that's my GFs name too bad I'm not a cuck fortunately

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>>34155930
i did

also proof of OP

>>34155889
Congrats man, you have now passed the rite of passage. Therefore you are now officially a man.

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>>34148606
>>34148985
>>34155889
>>34156012

>he has reaction images on his phone

>>34156012
Seriously though, how long was her tongue?

What part of Phoenix do you live in my friend?

>>34155889
Congratulations! You are now a normie! Now shoo!

>>34155460
I have no idea what goes in my parents mind nowadays. I'm 23kvhh living at home, I have a job with rotating shifts so that's my excuse, I want to get my personal life on tracks before anything else.
They have never asked me about gfs, they have never forced me to get one like in some stories here, there has been no subtle "I want grandkids" episode. They have not set up a date like in OPs case.
Thinking about it my father and I have never had "dad advice" time about women or something, we do like to talk about politics.
I just do not know if they are disappointed or not and it bugs me.

>>34156056
relative to my dick size it was about 2 & 1/2 inches from where it crossed her teeth to the tip of her tongue

only an estimate

>>34155889
>>34148606
> He tells me: no, no, there''s a lady at my work who has a really nice daughter, your age.

Looks like your dad ordered a hooker/escort for you.

>>34155889
Wew!
Organic post.

Good job OP! Welcome to normieville reeee

>>34155971
I really dont know. The alcohol isnt the problem, its just to forget the hunger and to pass time. I lost interest in all my hobbies and just sit here and listen to music while I stare at the screen. I also stare at the wall for hours, it doesnt make any difference.

I thought about going to a doctor (Im insured) but I am too anxious / lazy to do that.

>>34156119
I feel you man. My dad talks about women sometimes, but he literally never directs it at me, presumably because he knows it would just be awkward. My mum sometimes mentions grandkids, but I assume she's thinking of my brother who actually has a long-term gf. 26khv and I don't have any hope, I almost wish that they'd ask me just so I could throw it back in their face, to remind them of what a failure they raised. I want to see some sort of reaction from them, some idea of what they really think of me.

>robots falling for this

Wew.

>>34156161
>156161>>34155889(You)
op here

how should I find out if this is the case

it seems like it because nobody would fuck someone as autistic as me but we'll see

how do I go about finding what he did or of she was paid without being a creep?

i did get her number after all, and i stealth checked it while she was gone to make sure it worked and was real

>>34156050
are you fucking retarded? how could he name the files? fucking mongoloid retard fuck

>>34156220
i name the files and sync them manually every now and then

its autistic i know

>>34156156
>Changing your story

You said she just grinded on you

>>34156256

"Long story short despite me fucking prem ejacing and being an autist I still managed to cuck a guy. "

i still managed to cuck a guy

we fucked

its implied in the text normie

>>34156256
Probably some rando jumping in pretending to be OP.

>>34156156
Thats pretty disappointing I like girls with long tongues

>>34156205
Ask her if that guy was her bf or dad.

If she says dad then try to remember if there was any evidence of there being a mother since your dad said

> He tells me: no, no, there''s a lady at my work who has a really nice daughter, your age.

If it was her bf than you're still a robot whose only sexual relationships have been with whores.

If it really was her dad and you can prove the mother also lives there then I guess that makes you a normie.

>>34155889
>>34156012
I dont fucking buy this whatsoever. I cant be the only one. I go ahead and do what >>34155777
(checked btw) did while we wait for the TRUE and HONEST OP.
>9th grade
>music class
>basically everyone had to play mary had a little lamb on shitty plastic recorders like elementary school tier kids
>palms sweaty, moms spaghetti as fuck, so every week when we individually had to perform infront of the class i would always be so afraid to fuck up
>one week when it was my turn to go up in the middle of the song my fucking phone goes off
>mfw my ringtone was Melvins - Honeybucket because total edgelord
>start to panic so immediately no coherent train of thought
>people instantly start giggling without thinking i decided to try to overpower it with sound at first with the recorder
>fuck up and violent territorial pterodactly squeeks come out instead
>have to pull phone out from inside pocket of adidas jacket
>turn the ringing off but the sperging is still to stronk
>the whole time was holding the recorder in the other hand
>hands sweaty as fuck
>feel my grip loosen and the recorder starts to fall and lunge to reach it
>i over exert my self and have to stop my fall with my hands
>in a dog like position i use all my potential energy to launch myself to the door out the class
>hide in bathroom, faggot teacher put out flag or whatever for missing child and i get escorted by security back to class inbetween the class changing time
>mfw there are 2 evenly spaced 6 foot long sweat smears on the floor from my rocket boost out the class

>>34156286
only mentioned losing kiss virginity.

You're the normie.

>>34156297
i am the true and honest OP and those two posts were mine

how do i prove it to you

>>34156174
are you depressed anon? are you content with the situation?

>>34148809
>>34148760
I do this but how/when do you start flirting or whatever

>>34156320
Timestamp the ticket stubs with your post numbers

Kevin this is dad here i knew you would sperg out and.make a thread about it here in fag central these tickets costed me an arm i will ass pound you when you come back home until you repay them back to the last penny you faggot loser

>>34156348
cant wait to here the excuse
>>34156382
would the tickets have been expensive?

>>34156382
my name is actually kevin

fuck off you scared me stupid kike

>>34155889
Proud of you OP, not too shabby. I remember my first date, we saw that Finding Nemo 3D shit and just held hands.

She was a terrible GF so its not like it matters but it was very tame and mild for a first date for my age at the time. Sounds like you hit the jackpot

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>>34156050
>He doesn't have reaction images on his phone

>>34156297
>Melvins
Mein neger.

My friends set me up with another person they thought was a complete loser who they thought needed to get laid. I wasn't even going to talk to her, but they mentioned that she had been playing WoW since Vanilla, and I like to talk about the good old days. Now that we've been together for like six years, they constantly grouch at us to grow up, quit WoW, and bathe every day. Fucking normalfags, I swear to god. They regularly ask if we're trying to have kids yet, they can't understand why I'm not a manager at my shitty retail job, and they don't understand that neither of us play WoW anymore because Cata ruined the game! Some of them even used to be fun.

On the bright side, my life turned out to actually be slightly less shitty than I thought it would.

>>34156326
I dont know if I am depressed. I think about suicide everyday and I will probably kill myself this or next year but Im not surprised if I pussy out of that.

I actually visited a doctor a month ago but for another reason, I coudnt feel my hands and for a short time my whole body so I went to a neurologist, and when he asked me why it took me 2 months to visit a doctor I told him some stuff about me.
I obviously didn't tell him about the extreme stuff but he said he doesn't think Im depressed but still want me to go to psychotherapy. Well but first comes a MRI.

>>34154416
this thread is pretty funny for anyone whos bored waiting for the TRUE and HONEST OP.
>some shitfaced drunk dude being cucked by numale

>>34156588
anon is based as fuck, cata did ruin everything. I played the month burning crusade came out to a couple months after cata then quit, but my favorite parts were the vanilla parts of the game.
I always tried to organize retro raids during burning crusade with my guild but it was such a pain in the ass to get people to commit.
The worst was those fucking twins in AQ40 where melee and casters had to be seperated holy fuck the mouth breathers dude
It got way easier in wrath though..
how far did you progress raid wise in vanilla and tbc?

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>>34155889
OP IM SO PROUD OF YOU

>>34148760
>girls are no harder to talk to than guys
That's still pretty hard, honestly

>>34155889
>"I'd sure love to pluck your G string"
kek

>>34148666
thanks satan

666

>your dad came up with an elaborate scheme for you to fuck a hooker
At least he cares.

YOUR DAD HAS PAID A HOOKER FOR YOU.

BEST DAD EVER.

>>34149132
hint: every "good girl" you've met is actually a giant whore.

t. tons of slutty friends who go to church

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>>34155686
Major Depression. Look it up.

I was like you when I had my first major depressive episode after I moved out. I had $200 in my pocket but didn't have the energy to drive 5 minutes to get food (even drive through take out).

After 4 days of just soda, I finally ordered pizza and pasta (for 6 people) from a place that delivers.

I also make an appointment with a psychiatrist.

>>34157483
Did the psychiatrist give you drug? are you OK now?

>>34152281
>>34152307
wdym?