Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 6449. page

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Fuck if I know. Does he have a nice, firm dick? That's a plus

>>16639168
Then it will smells like shit and smth nice which is more disgusting

>>16639057
>need to keep writing her until she responds because otherwise i will self harm
do everyone a favor and a hero

Sounds like a healthy relationship.

>>16639057
Is that her?

Maybe be a cop searching her home? You can use the handcuffs, too.

Establish a safeword, though.

>>16638948
Unfortunately you can't bring handcuffs on the plane and we only flew with carryons. : (

Wise point about the safeword, luckily since most of our sex is already kinky as fuck we've got that set up. : )

>>16638938
Do you really have no awarness of your instincts? Fuck porn, you don't have to roleplay anything. Just make up your mind to cum inside her and let your aninal brain take over. It would be easier if she pretends to struggle, you instinctively would know to grab wrists etc. And it would be easier for her to get wet beforehand.

you haven't found the right girl yet obviously

>>16638935
I used to feel that excitement you're describing but now I feel the same as you do. Women are just people and the vast majority of people are boring and shallow. That's about it, it's a bit depressing once you realize it but you'll just accept it or get lucky and find that one girl who is not that way.

I feel similarly, with thinking they're all the same, the only ones I find at least somewhat interesting are the more tomboyish ones. I don't know how to help though, sorry.

Is it normal?

No , it isn't normal , it is an asset . A high sex drive in a girl is a very good thing

>>16638920
It's not about sex drive

My sex drive is as high as it was but I can't get as wet/turned on by things anymore

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Before she leaves, I try and talk to her about what just happened, and she basically told me that sex (not just with me, she's had partners before me also) doesn't feel good to her, and she only does it because she knows I like it...basically what I've suspected/feared. Then she says that she doesn't see it as a problem at all, and I should be happy just having sex. I try to explain to her that it's not at all satisfying to have sex with someone who doesn't want to have sex, but she just kept refusing to acknowledge it as a problem, or try anything new to try and make sex feel better for her. She's acting like it's completely normal for women to "go through the motions" without desiring sex, or thinking sex feels good.

I really love this girl, and every other part of our relationship is amazing....but I can't live the rest of my life being completely undesired, having boring sex only because she feels obligated. Do I have any options to try and help her? As I see it, if she doesn't want to help herself, my only two options are to have the sexual part of our relationship with other women, or just break it off completely...

>TLDR; basically confirmed that my girlfriend is giving me duty-sex, doesn't see it as a problem, and refuses to try anything to compromise/improve/change

Break up with her. This is not a good woman.

It seems like she knows herself pretty well here. Some people really are just like that, OP, it doesn't mean they're broken or need to change. It may seem like a problem to you, but it's not a problem to her, and you should stop forcing it on her as a problem. She shouldn't be forced to change who she is just to make you happy. She gave you a solution, but it isn't your tastes (understandably).

So no, there isn't anything you can do to "help" her. Anything you do to "help" her is selfishly motivated so you can happily have sex without feeling guilty. Yes, it would improve sex for her too, but again, she doesn't see this as a problem, so you're still forcing your "solution" on her.

You've both said your pieces and explained the feelings behind them. Her solution isn't to your tastes, so it's time to propose new solutions that aren't "fixing" her and making her like sex more. You're correct. The other options are to live with your sexual frustration and not bring it up again, open the relationship sexually, or break up.

No. It's a good way to cause permanent nerve/blood vessel damage. You're better off with a 4.5 inch dick that works, than a bruised, misshapen, worthless piece of meat that MIGHT be six inches if you were still capable of getting hard.

Just make the most of what you've got. And keep in mind that if you're like late teens/early twenties, you might not be done growing yet

>>16638765

This. Jelqing has fucked a lot of men up.

One more thing, believe it or not, but here's the truth. I have an 8inch cock. I've slept with about 20 women.

Most of them really didn't care that I was big.

>>16638780

Anything bigger than 7" is honestly a liability. It might be nice to look at, but it's not gonna fit in your mouth, pussy, or asshole without a whole lot of discomfort

>>16638736

It's stupid to set arbitrary "rules" like that for yourself. If you like her, and she likes you, and you've gotten over whatever you fought about in the past, then why not give it a chance? I've known plenty of very strong couples who've gone through breakups or separations, only to get back together and stay together. It can definitely happen.

No. You will be forever tormented by the amount of independent living you guys did while only friends. I don't just mean romantic/sexual business either, though that is a significant part of it.

>>16638759

What does this even mean? How can you be this much of a control freak?

>she's had life experiences that didn't involve me, I can't even look at her anymore

>>16638729
How's life treating you?

how old are you? if legal, can you post some nudes of yourself? would you like to get on cam and shake it around a little?

>>16638729
>Ask a femanon
What qualifications do you have that makes you so special you can't just post in the ask opposite gender thread?

i dunno. i don't know her. if i tell somebody i'm on the pill, i am on the pill 100%. i don't want to get knocked over unintended. but as you know, there are weird people out there... i would give it a bit more time until you know her better and can calculate the risk

>>16638663

Thanks, we've only been dating a couple weeks.

And not to generalize, but Colombian women can be a little mysterious, she leaves a lot left unsaid.

Absolutely not.

To put this into perspective, one of my exes was incredibly dedicated to her pill usage. She'd take it at the same time every day down to the minute; there was always some water in her purse in case she got caught out when the time came. She read every last word of the little information paper and knew every incompatible and cross-reacting drug by name. The girl took this shit as seriously as needing to breathe.

Still almost never let me blow my load inside of her. She loved it, I loved it, but we never ever made a habit of it. We only did it maybe a handful of times during our entire relationship. And she was right. It just wasn't worth it. Only after a lot of thought and prep do married couples think about the gravity of having kids. We're supposed to risk that (or have to live with abortion) as bf/gf? And you want to do it with someone you're just "seeing?" Who you don't know to be as mindful and trustworthy as that ex of mine?

You'll do whatever you do, bro, but I don't think it's a good idea at all.

>>16638647
The issue with that is anonymity is a part of this website. Your partially removing that element

I'm missing the part where you gave any explanation or even elaboration on "help as many other anon as possible." That sounds like hand-waving. How does this help any more people than me responding anonymously in a thread?

you could just tell people to use names.

but you're also opening up the possibility of impersonation.

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Sometime after this, my partner (er, fiance) asked if this was because of my abusive past. Of course I didn't know, but I wouldn't be surprised. At one point during sex, he asked if I ever enjoyed it as a kid. That was a difficult moment...that particular sex ended there, but it did open up doors for both of us...as we somehow got to talking about age difference/him fucking younger gals (at some point we were looking at loli together and trying to find young models that look like they're fit for a hebophile). He would talk about what he would do to someone so young, how he would barely fit, etc...and I could offer my own insight about what she might be thinking, given my experience as a girl. It was like exposure therapy.

There were many-o-argument around there, but the contrast was a deep connection (which a lot of people would view as prettydamnfucked...I'm sure).

We don't talk about that much at all anymore, because of my incapacity to maintain consistency when it comes to my reaction to the matter, but I do think about it. I know he still looks at loli quite a bit...and because of this, most times he touches me I think he's thinking of a young gal. I do small things to help him with this perceived fantasy (such as shave, or avoid moaning like a woman...I'm even trying to lose enough weight to pass for younger). I love and hate it, as I feel this has turned into a kink,,,but it hurts.

Anyone dealt with anything like this before? ....fuck.

I feel trapped. I feel like the older I get, the worse I'll feel about all of this...I'm fucking lost. I feel like running, honestly...but he's the best man I've ever known.

I don't know what to do, because I've been told by most everyone that such fantasies are wrong (almost to the point of being illegal), but

>>16638633
(I guess there is a Pt 3)

...but...at what point does it become 'wrong' ?

When it's acted-upon, no?

...or can simply normalizing such thoughts (through exposure) fall into the 'wrong' category?

.....maybe this is a question for /sci/...

>>16638630
All I can say is that you are a degenerate destroyed beyond repair and he is a pedo degenerate. I guess you two will make a happy marriage.

Yeah, don't have them.

>>16638524
Yeah, alright, but what if I'm already in one. Any tips on maintaining it? Or is it just a lost cause?

meet in person ASAP
after that, move in together ASAP

being "nevermet" for any length of time will doom you

>>16638505

union longshoreman

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>>16638505
Sorry, there is, but you may not like it.

Military. No matter where you are in the world, they will help your family in exchange for your service. If you're American, the U.S. Army does its best to put family first.

Engineer

Just offer kind words and be there to listen. That's all you can do. Maybe offer an opinion if it's asked for.

I've been through stressful situations and that's what my SO did. There was nothing he could actually do, so he always listened to my rants/complaints/bitching for however long I needed to talk, he left me alone when I needed to cool down, he did little things to ease my stress (washed the dishes, lowered the volume on his video games, etc.), just stuff like that. Having someone to listen and just acknowledge "Yeah, that sucks man" helps. Hugs don't hurt, either.

Honestly, they can only do so much for you though. Your problems are your own to solve, and as kind as my SO is, he never coddles me or lets me feel sorry for myself. I tend to wallow and when I ask him, "What should I do?" he always tells me it's up to me to decide. He's always logical, which pisses me off in the moment, but looking back it helped me gut through whatever I had to do.

So, he's kind and listens when something happens, but when it's time to take action, he doesn't let me throw a pity party and pout the whole time I'm working through something.

>>16638539
But how would I express to my boyfriend that I need that?

He takes my issues so lightly. He even occasionally jokes about it morbidly or teases me about my personal problems to our friends.

We argued about that last night. He listened but didn't really respond or say he would at least stop doing that.

But believe me, the moment anything bad happens to my boyfriend, he wants me to throw him a pity party.

>>16638499
>what do you want from me?
For me, having a second head that is on my side to help think about possible solutions (and possibly to take up some of the burden of following up).

A sympathetic ear if nothing else.

In my experience, most women and younger guys are not interested in solutions, they just want the latter. I don't know if that's the case here too. If I were you I'd be way more interested in getting advice on my real, immediate problems than on my relationship problem. Maybe you've already pursued all the possibilities, I don't know.

Anyway, a lot of guys who don't get that what you're looking for is emotional support can end up feeling very uncomfortable and defensive when you present a problem that they can't fix, as though venting your problems to them means you're presenting a complaint that you expect them to take care of, or that they feel useless to someone they want to protect.

Some guys just don't want to have to deal with negative shit at all and only want the fun times, and some guys are just uncomfortable with a situation where they don't know what is expected of them.

So what did you tell him you wanted from him? Did you tell him you needed a rock? Did you tell him what "a rock" means to you, or is he supposed to figure out what you want in the actual manifestation of your metaphor.

If you were very clear on what you wanted and he just doesn't want to play that role for you, well, consider whether or not this is something you need from your relationship. If it is, this might be the wrong guy. You might also want to consider that maybe he does try to play that role, but you're unreasonable about it. "I want you to listen to me until I've gotten it all out and feel better" is doable. "I want you to listen to me and make me feel better" is not unless you tell him exactly how he's supposed to do that.