Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 5772. page

>>16947647
For your own sake, it's a terrible idea

no iv tried to be friends with my exs its never worked just tell them to fuck off and get on with your life

Yes. It's possible.

>>16947595

Realize that there are more women out there besides her. Realize that if you're overweight, and you know it, you should probably work on a better diet and exercise.

The rest of it is pretty normal.

Tell her to suck the other guys dick and never call you back. Like ever.

>>16947595
>she has feelings for another guy
>I'm overweight and not very good looking
Work on yourself, because you're only friend material right now. You have nothing of romantic interest to offer her.

>I'm very sweet and have a nice personality
So are a lot of other people, OP. You're not going to stand out from the crowd by just being "nice."

>>16947589
Community college social life is relatively poor. Most people get in and get out. However, if you take anything that isn't technical you'll get a decent number of girls that you can chat up and potential friends.

Don't expect anything too raunchy or whatever, again a lot of cc attendees already have lives and usually are older.

>>16947589

bump

>>16947589
>>16947597

Depends on what major you choose.

>>16947562
hey, you seem really concerned about your friends and their well being, even if rapist in Group A is an actual rapist.

Good for you for trying to take a step back and be like, "HMMMMM."

Also good for you for not flipping out and crucifying Mr. Rapey.

I think you're on the right track of being aware of the situation and being against the behavior without violence or judgment. I would just keep that up. You can disagree with Mr. Rapey's behavior but still be like, "Look man I still love you. What you did wasn't right and you have to fix that.. but you're still my friend." Accepting someone's flaws is not the same as taking them on as your own.

Just don't get caught up in the bullshit. Be above it.

>>16947562
>>16947601

Who did he sexually assault? Did he actually rape someone, or did he get drunk and grab a girl's ass without permission? Is the victim pressing charges? Sexual assault can mean a lot of things, I really can't judge it without a little more info

But if he actually raped someone, or anywhere near it, and he and the people in group A are like excusing it or sweeping it under the rug, I would distance myself if I were you. Friend or not. You don't have to condemn him or hate him, but I wouldn't try to help him dodge responsibility or consequences for what he did. Choose your friends carefully. You already seem to acknowledge that he's just using depression as an excuse, but I don't think you really understand yet what that implies about his character and his judgment. Rape is not a symptom of mental illness, it's a choice. And if he's still looking for a way to avoid or lessen his responsibility for what he did, then he didn't learn anything, he didn't change, and something like this could easily happen again

You can't just be around that. It'll fuck up your life. He's making his own choices here, you don't have to go down with the ship just because you used to think he was a good guy. You learned something new about him, and you can't really un-learn it now and go back to how it was

>>16947639
>or lessen his responsibility for what he did
Kind of hard to take responsibility when society will lock you up, throw away the key to your entire life, and cheer when you get abused in prison.

If we as a society want people to take responsibility for their actions and work to change, maybe we should give them the opportunity to do so and ya know, actually make it right.

That's if he raped anyone. OP doesn't know, it's just he said she said at this point.

>>16947561
think about the fact that every time you fuck up, its not the end of the world. its your first job and its fine to fuck up. i would have a "what are they gonna do? fire me from this shitty fast food place?" mentality

>I feel now that about all my other mistakes are made because of me trying to speed shit out and get shit out of the way. How do I stay calm and relaxed?
Well what about slowing down and reading the ticket? Is someone standing over your shoulder with a speed watch or something?

>>16947578
I feel like I'm under pressure.
I feel like if I don't get that shit out as soon as humanly possible, people will get pissed off.

But maybe I should think of this:

What will make them more angrier - not getting the right order,

Or getting it a little bit slower?

Change your diet. Eat less ramen and start eating vegetables and cooking for yourself. If you haven't been exercising, start.

Next time don't sell your soul for riches. Deals with the devil never end well.

>>16947535
Make me a mod for /co/ and /v/, Hiroshima-sama

Go out with friends a lot or have a hobby. And tell them what it is that makes a difference yo.

>>16947553
To some extent that's kinda a problem.

I was attending a 4 year school for a while, but it was a shitty time in my life (I wasn't ready and I was emotionally abused so it was a crash and burn, which explains their concerns).

I just moved back to the area, but I haven't been able to reconnect with my old HS friends too strongly since all they care about is getting drunk. They all either just turned 21 or just got their fake IDs so alcohol is the "COOL EDGY" thing for them. Personally I don't really like it much, I just have some beer or wine once in a while for the taste.

I'm hoping to get hired by REI which is supposed to be one of the best workplaces to meet people, though. I've also looked at community college clubs but none really pertain to my interests.

As for hobbies, I'm a tad stuck in that regard too. I love the outdoors, but I'm stuck in the midwest so there are no mountains or cliffs. I just got my Ham Radio license, but I have no idea what to do with that hobby.

I might pursue writing some short story ideas I've had or developing mods for freeware flight sims.

>>16947604
If you have don't wanna reconnect with old friends make new ones. More new unexpected things come out of that.
>tell you're mom your side story.
>pursue that then people want people who are motivated specifically in whatever.
>stay motivated and tell your family things ont happen over night and they're overreacting.

Again show your motivated job Hun and keep productive till you get back on you're feet op.

Girls have this odd misconception that they have some obligation to please the man sexually and that they should take an active/leading role during intercourse.

You're lucky getting a virgin mate, usually I'd be harsh on a girl for lying, but that's good news and wasn't malicious at all

How old are you? Jeez! You are probably meant for each other. Enjoy it. Touch, feel, and figure it out! ;)

>>16947528

It was a bit funny beforehand. I made it clear that I didn't care that she wasn't a virgin and wasn't a child who'd obsess over it. Now that I've found out, it just makes me have so much more respect for her and I don't even know why. I never imagined myself landing a virgin and I guess it's because her parents always scaring her into not starting relationships or the "DO ANYTHING SEXUAL AND YOULL GET PREGNANT" thing.

I understand sort of that it wasn't malicious, just sort of odd.

Love doesn't truly kick in until you've been with the person long enough. I'm talking way past your first 10 fights.

What is your situation?

Here's the deal....if you're 12 and he just told you he likes your nail polish you are in love. If you are 15 and you just gave him a BJ you are in love. If you are 18 and he is with the class princess you are in love. If you are 24 and it is too late, you are in love. Give or take that is all there ever was. I love you.

>>16947490
>Together for only a month
>Loving, beautiful, compassionate, funny, fun to be around, passionate about her work
>Though she's got issues
>Chronic infidelity, weird Oedipus complex, afraid of men, one-track mind, really selfish in bed, thinks I'm immature because of our age difference
>Little in common on the surface, but similar views on the world and desires to experience more
>Never felt more secure than when I was with her
>She taught me how to love myself
>I always wanted to do things for her to make her happy even if I didn't know how
>Felt like I could just tell her who I am
>Broke it off because reasons
>She's back
>She missed me so much
>Regularly texts me "thinking of you" things that make me feel so warm and confident
>She and I can't be together
>Have to be friends because of those reasons (age and she's back with her ex)
>Can't get her out of my head

I'm fucking dying here. I've never been this way with someone before.

>>16947404
Bump

>take drugs
>feel nothing/vaguely empty numb
>float through life
>struggle with depersonalization
>if you ever stop you will be worse than when you started if you ever recover

I was on zoloft for 6 months when I was 13. Literally the weirdest/worst time of my life

one last bump I guess

Elaborate on that, a little bit?

I mean, to a certain degree that's true. Life is complicated and there are all sorts of external forces that influence you.

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>>16947396
where on your body do they attack you

Schizophrenic...maybe.

Ask them questions.

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>Tips?

Learn how to type coherent sentences first

Maybe don't talk " whatever", and instead try talking about something engaging. it aint just not always stimulating.

>>16947365
>I don't care if a girls that attractive
>I'd happily go for a 5 or a 6

If you haven't had a girlfriend by 22 there's good chance you're not a 8 or 9 and you sound shallow as fuck. You shouldn't even be trying to go after a 6.

Also, almost nothing you read online will make you better at socializing. You have to go out and practice it yourself.

>>16947415
I'm just saying what other people have told me, which is that I'm attractive. I'm have an average or a slightly skinny build, but I guess I have a decent face. I had multiple girls come on to me in highschool, but they were all roasties, and as a religious man, I had no interest in them, and I was holding out hope that things would work out with my childhood crush. I only liked one girl after her, and that was in college, and while I didn't fuck it up as bad, she pretty much said she's not interested and we haven't talked since.

>>16947431
>I'm just saying what other people have told me

You do know people lie, right?

I've told guys they're a 7 or 8 because I didn't want to hurt their feelings. If you want an accurate judgement, the best place to post your face is here or /soc/.


>but they were all roasties, and as a religious man

There's nothing wrong with having standards, but beggars can't be choosers. Its 2016, there's a slim chance you're going to find a pure virgin girl outside of church.

Boring as fuck, lame as fuck, cheap as fuck. If you went to college for "the experience" go to state school. If you wanna graduate without being shackled to $600k in debt go to CC

What state are you in?

Here is a good medium for you. Go to CC for 1 year and get the basics out of the way...Freshman comp, History 101, Math through statistics, etc

Then transfer to state school.

Bonus pro-tip: If you want in state tuition at a school in a different state, go to cc in that state for a year while working at a job that would help you establish residency.

Saves money
I got through CC in a year and a half

>>16947313
>italian makeup problems
>any ethnicity who is naturally pale but tans easily
>italian

...wat

Yeah... most girls have summer and winter makeup anon

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>>16947313

>VERY PALE but I tan more easily than I would like in the summer and it is hard for me to find makeup such as foundations and concealers that don't either look really dark on me in the winter or really light on me in the summer. It's hard because I will find something I like in the summer, but it will not come in a light enough shade for the winter

>women problems