Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 5774. page

>Used to be a superstitious christian. Would follow unclean laws by not touching myself, cleaning my bedsheets if I ejaculated, and taking a shower everyday or when I ejaculated.

>Used to go to a coffee shop everyday and buy the same stupid drink even if I couldn't afford it. Would go to a bar every weekend by myself and drink until the bar closed.

>Had a routine to follow on weekends that involves me taking a train to walk a exact route through the park and the city streets. Would easily waste 4 or more hours walking in circles.

>Used to ruminate about a story I wanted to write, never wrote it but would not stop pondering it for years.

>Didn't have a relationship with a girl until my late twenties. After she dumped me I obsessively checked her social media and would drive past her workplace for no reason. Even while dating other women I'd still obsess about her. I'm happy to say I moved on but ironically she wants to get back together

>Constantly check to see if my car doors are locked and the headlights are off after parking.

>I procrastinate big time. I have two degrees but refuse to look for a different job. I bought a motorcycle three years ago and still don't know how to ride it. I still haven't done my taxes.

>I'm particular about food: always eat the same things and avoid junk food like the plague.

>I get extremely aggitated around people when I'm busy and try to scare them away

Most of these problems went away once I started hanging out with my friends again, but I still can't completely fix myself.

I've had OCD for about 5 years now and I'd say you sound like it but you should check with a psychiatrist to be sure.

The key point in determining if it's OCD or something else is if it causes you anxiety having to think about how irrational your behavior is.

If you think it's normal then it's another story (something like OCPD). But if you don't know why you feel the need to do something over again, and it still seems crazy to do it while you do it again and again, then you probably have some form of OCD.

>>16947114
Also Howard Hughes was a cool guy. I really liked Aviator and I read his whole wikipedia article.

Kinda like Bill Gates though. The only thing keeping the story from being more than awesome is that they had a pretty good head start financially.

Competence and sincerity.

>>16947090
How do I become sincere?

>>16947086
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Win_Friends_and_Influence_People
This will do

>>16947067
Does she make it easy and accessible to you? If so, why would you?

shes the best you're going to get faggot

Doesn't matter just make sure you get tested.

>>16947052
Bump

Sure. Don't do it.

>>16947150
Fuck off normie

I would have liked to have a familiar. You'll get to meet tons of people in college. My roommate experience freshman year was horrible though.

Some people said that once they moved in with a close friend, it became kind of impractical to live together. Because now you're kind of just getting a lot of negatives that come with living with someone overshadowing the fun you would have from being friends.

It goes both ways though.

A little background, pros and cons:
>Didn't get out much in highschool, most friends (including mentioned friend) were kind of shut-ins, and I don't want that lifestyle to follow me into college. This friend definitely wouldn't be exposing me to many new experiences.

>On the other hand the college I'll be attending has a reputation for being a bit of a party school. I've never been a hedonist, but having this friend around might keep me from swinging too far to the other side

>I'm not an extremely sociable person (not anti-social either), having someone I'm relaxed around might be a nice change of pace from what I'm assuming will be a pell-mell experience

>>16947057
How was it horrible? I'm curious about how bad it could get.

The friend isn't exactly a close friend, and he actually drives me nuts sometimes. But he's a mellow person who I'm comfortable with and I can foresee being easy to get along with.

You can consult with the place you got the piercings done, but I think in general you should probably just listen to what your body is telling you.

Try a different piece of jewelry for a month and then call it quits. Surgical stainless or silver, whichever you don't have now.

>>16947039
I live in a different place now, sadly
>you should probably just listen to what your body is telling you.
It's probably telling me to take them out,but then all my hard work and pain will have been for nothing. I really did try to take good care of them every day.

>>16947060
I have both. The sterling silver...was not very good. I've been wearing surgical stainless steel for about a whole year now

Ask them to reduce it to a non-reporting violation.

Sometimes you can go if it is a small courthouse even before your court date and ask.
You will pay the fine in full but you wont get points on your license and your insurance company wont know.

Or try to contest and hope the cop doesnt show up.

>>16947014
It is a pretty small town, so perhaps I could try the non-reporting violation idea. Who would I ask to speak to once I'm there? Thanks for the advice by the way.

>>16946997
They may allow you to make low, low, monthly payments. You should call up the borough (local courthouse, number in the back) and ask.

I do something about it instead of whining about it on 4chan.

>>16946969
Elaborate a bit more, Anon.

Yeah, that's the cause with everybody. What you do is get involved with concepts like self discipline and "brain over matter".

>>16946964
>self-depreciating jokes

Well at least you get a nice tax write-off.

>Do I just ask her what's going on in her life? Is it that straightforward?
Yeah, that's like normal conversation.

>>16946984
>Yeah, that's like normal conversation.
Aye, there's the rub.

>>16946964

>Do I just ask her what's going on in her life? Is it that straightforward?

Yeah, pretty much. If she can't keep a conversation going though, she might just be boring, dude. She might just genuinely not have much going on in her life, or in her mind, worth talking about. It's not always your fault, or your responsibility to keep a conversation going. I know you're still in the stage where you're trying to impress her, but you should really be learning about her as well, seeing if you're actually going to be compatible

>>16946958
I think it is best for you to change to a different psychologist. It doesn't seem like the one who you currently have is listening to you and your needs. You are currently facing a very stressful life event, and I think your concerns should not be taken lightly.

>>16946996
Thank you for your response.
Its weird having a psyche who doesn't want to 'go deeper'; its like she thinks I'm only there because court is stressful when really seeing my father again is stressful and I feel like a helpless child... All things I've told her too :(
My next appointment is tomorrow and I guess if I still feel the same leaving I will change.

Calling you 'emotional and dramatic' is dismissive language, and this is a bad therapist. You should absolutely see a different one.

As someone who's been through about 4 therapists myself, it's pretty common that you just won't 'gel' with some of them. Keep trying.

>>16946930

It's not insulting, more we know you have autism.

>>16946930
>Is it insulting when someone doesn't look in your eyes when talking to them?
Being able to maintain eye contact shows dominance and/or comfort. Everyone knows you're not dominant and you're not comfortable. That's about it.

>>16946963
Usually, but not always. Sometimes the other person is really ugly, or just so funny looking you cant look at them with a staight face.

The best advice i can give is to drop the subject if they just block.off your arguments. Getting heated makes them assume youre in the wrong, no matter if its true.
Certain people cant and shouldnt be argued with

>>16946918
While you may need to tone down your reaction, feeling this pissed off about willful ignorance is completely normal. They're passively destroying modern society by staying this stupid.

Cut them off and go find smart friends.

>>16946929
Thanks man. I usually stay alright during this but- fucking brain transplants! And they thought that the guy, with a completely new brain, was the same dude! I couldn't even convince this acquaintance without pulling the old tired "If its not ur brain is it rly u hurr" argument to finally convince him. Fucking hell.
I'm resolving to never talk about anything more complicated than superhero movies with coworkers again. Fuck it all.
>>16946944
Can't cut 'em off right now- The acquaintance is a usually OK co-worker who I generally get along fine with and his gf is probably cheating on him but he won't let himself think of it so he stays with her and buys all her meals and half of her jewelry. That in and of itself makes my blood silently boil, but he won't listen to me so I've given up on that front.

Holy shit, Boss, connection errors everywhere

>>16946901
>How do I change my personality? Frequently I notice that people don't talk to me, I have to talk to them. Like they don't want to talk to me. How do I change this around? Is there any rules of thumb for talking to people? How do I be somebody people want to talk to exactly? I used to like being me, but my normal personality just isn't liked and wanted by people.

Maybe instead of changing who you are, is to find people that are just as weird.

They are all over the place, trust me.

>>16946908
I wish it was that simple, in my field of work our best friends are supposed to be our co-workers. I mean, I guess they see me as a friend, but rather then a good friend, more that naive third wheel that tags along without ever being exclusively invited a lot.

I'm currently in a major west coast fire academy for a major city department. It's my new job and occupation, I get paid and everything. These are guys I've sweat and bled with the past 3 months, and we still have 3 more to go. I want to make some life long friends out of this, and to carry on to the job exactly.

>>16946901
Do you smile much? If you already smile a lot, have you looked in the mirror to see if your smile looks genuine? I think being a pleasant person goes a long way for a start.

Try being the one to say "hi" first. If anyone asks "how are you?" try to say something that begins a conversation rather than saying "fine", such as something about an upcoming holiday or there being less/more work than usual.

People love to talk about themselves, ask them questions (that aren't too personal). Listen to what your coworkers talk about and what questions they ask, then mimic those. Eventually you'll learn what topics are good.

Help your coworkers out sometimes without them asking you to. Ask them questions about how to do something if they've been there longer than you have. If you start with these small things, gradually people should come to feel familiar with you and be more friendly. It can take quite some time to become good friends, so don't sweat it if it's only been 3 months. I'm not sure what else to suggest without more details about why people might be avoiding you, but best of luck and don't lose hope.

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>>16946848
Bisect yourself with a rusty hacksaw

>>16946848
>on the 3. Date
Do people actually try and count the dates as a prerequisite for sex? Why don't you just fuck someone when you feel like you connect?

I haven't "made it" past date 2 since high school. If I took a girl out on two dates without any kind of sexual spark, I would wonder if she had herpes or was playing games.
> a stronger bond not based on sex
I'm rolling my eyes over here. You realize that you can still form a bond based on character while still having sex right? Or do you just fuck and WHOOPS! there goes all reason, you're in love?

Your focus on the timing as opposed to the connection is, in my opinion, a problem.

>>16946860
No. It's not like i planed that. It just happened to be on the 3. Date...

Yes, i DO realize. But that's kind of my problem here. I wouldn't ask otherwise, right? My sexuality seems to be all kinds of fucked up and i tend to oversexualize everything. I try to keep it down, but basically, the moment i start to have sex with a guy, that's it. That's going to be what we will be doing most of the time. I don't actually want it to be this way but i have no idea how to change or prevent this. What i want is a nice balance but it seems like i am a factor that makes this very unlikely. I want to tone it down but i have NO IDEA how. I'm serious about this. I tried. I need a step by step guide or something...

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>>16946745

I have Yellow Fever its a debilitating condition

>>16946781
do you monitor it with medication?

>>16946789
Yes but honestly I'm a JAV junkie and I shoot up whenever I have the chance