Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 5771. page

>>16947836
pls respond

>>16948982
pls respond

>>16949143
pls respond

Go back. Get it fixed. You might've fucked up in the past, but if you go back and do better they'll change their minds.

>>16947805
No, I've not fucked up.

"Go back to the place that possibly got things wrong that might not even like me, to get it fixed"

see? The place I went to might not have done the right thing...

so...do I go back???

or die.

I dunno.

>>16947807

What did they do? Do you think they can help you now? I say go back rather than die, even if it isn't perfect there

Were you convicted of a crime? What was it?

>>16947796
Did you DDoS something and got caught?

>>16947801
Was not convicted for a crime. I have never done jail time. Never. I got fired from a job when I was 15 because, well, I was involved with a group of "friends" who liked furries. I had logged into my MySpace page at work, and was fired because I had also talked to some girls about what furries were. Now I was a kid. 15. This happened 7 years ago. But my mom thinks I'm screwed out of ever getting a job because of this.

>>16947781
>My best friend
>She doesn't live in my city, so I don't see her in person often, but she will always tell me I'm her only friend
>Everybody else in her life gets really angry with her when she uses
>so I don't have a ton of experience with dealing with people like this. I just knows she lies to me
>Does anybody have any advice for me and for dealing with addicts in general?

Addicts are destructive users of people. They don't want to be but in the end they don't care so long as they get their next fix.

She's not your best friend. You're not her only friend... her only true friend, the one she'll do anything for.... is the drug she's addicted to.

The best thing to do with any addict is stay well away. No matter how much you think you are helping them, no matter how essential you feel it is to be a part of their life, it will always only end in pain.

The only addicts worth helping are those who have reached the point in their lives that they'll do anything to stop..... and have. Then they need everything you can give them to get them through the toughest phase of rebuilding their life.

Distance yourself from her. Let her know it's the addiction that's driven you away. Avoid all approaches that include promises of stopping and only respond when she says she's actually stopped.

Im 35 been an addict since I was 13. I have gone in and out of every drug addiction you can think of. I will probabley always use some type of drug the rest of my life on and off. Be there for someone only as long as you want to bc drug addicts are selfish .

She's said to me before that she really does appreciate me and that she's sorry that she's fucked me over before. She knows she'll do anything to get what she wants, and she doesn't want to but she can't help it. I don't want to hurt her because I know she really can't help it. I think I have enough distance from her since I hardly see her now, but I still feel like I'm the only one on her side. When we were closer in location she was with me all the time and stayed sober because I was sober. I feel like I was able to provide her a safe space back then. I know I can't control her actions, but I can't help but feel sad about it. I don't have many friends myself, so it's hard to see one of the few people consistently in my life go through this.

I doubt they're going let you do it a second time. I would be more concerned about the possible insurance increase.

>>16947779
I read online that if you have four points or less you can take a course

I got 2 points last time, took the course
and now Ive got 2 points

You might be right though, I was just hoping I could. Ah fuck me.

Lol this is not the end of the world. This happens to ppl all the time. Just bad luck. Pay the fine, do the course and pay attention next time. Nothing to be ashamed of m8

I was also told i won't leave because I'm scared to be alone. I honestly can't see a future with her and I'm scared to go further since i will be graduating and having the option to move in, which she will thrust on me. She's just the type of person to get encouraged by her friends to divorce me and talk half of my possessions. I'm scared to leave because she makes me feel bad and i get drawn in but i don't want to break it off with a few simple words then leave because i feel like something as serious as this deserves care and meaning.

Break up with her, do it in text if you can't deal with the crying and immediately block her on everything so she won't guilt you back into it. Avoid her at all costs and get out of it. You can't see a future with her i get that but there aren't futures for people like that. Their futures are built on the manipulation of others, such as yourself. She needed a crutch and you came in at the right time and now you're a wheelchair.

>>16947770
>She likes to make me change who i am if she doesn't like it. I was told to never let anyone change me because that's unhealthy.
That's kind of a shitty statement, because while you shouldn't try to change yourself to fit in with a group of people, you may be someone in need of change. A relationship is about give and take, so if you want it to succeed, you NEED to change certain things about yourself. If she's trying to change certain hobbies and interests, then that's something you should take issue with because that's a part of who you are. If she's trying to make you take better care of yourself (eat healthier, exercise, basic hygiene, etc) then she's looking out for your best interests.

>She smokes, which really gets on my nerves and causes burning in my eyes and throat. I deal with it because i love her but if i try to get her to stop she simply gets mad at me and it causes a fight.
Well, this is clearly something you're going to have to deal with if you want to stay with her, as stubborn as she is.

>When it comes to fighting, it's always my fault and i always appologize. It isn't just a simply "sorry" or even a box of chocolates. Once she's in a bad mood it takes the right words at the right time to make her like me again and trust me that's hard. Fights have lasted a few days Max before and when she's mad at me, it feels like the universe is unbalanced and nothing feels right.
She sounds manipulative as fuck, I know the type. It's not that she's angry at you, necessarily, but she will try to "punish" you for "wrongdoing."

>I'm scared to leave because she makes me feel bad and i get drawn in but i don't want to break it off with a few simple words then leave because i feel like something as serious as this deserves care and meaning.
She genuinely sounds like a terrible person. Do you think she would give you the courtesy of a few last words? Because I don't.

And no, this isn't someone you want to live with. Things will only get much worse.

>>16947765
I don't know why anyone would lie to another person. It's simply unfathomable. What kind of person says something they don't mean to get something that they want?

What do you mean by "push themselves away?" Because some people are just naturally introverted and just need a little time alone to recharge sometimes. Like sometimes I just need a day where I don't talk to anyone. It doesn't mean I'm mad or I suddenly stopped liking everyone for a day, I just start to feel burnt out and frazzled being constantly around people too long

>>16947765

By saying 'they love you and care' they think they are doing you a favour by protecting your feelings from being ravaged by the truth. Which is.... they care enough to hide they don't love you.

That's called bulimia, sweetie.

Eat less. Eat real food. You are literally poisoning yourself, every single day. You know this. WHY?

>>16947764
The stomach pain gives me no appetite and when I do get it it's bad as fuck and all I can stomach is pizza and shit

It's 100% worth the gamble you fuckwit.

>>16948698
That's easy to say if you haven't spent the last decade falling apart and putting yourself back together.

I'm looking to inform decent risk assessment, "fuckwit".

>>16949054
On 4chan??

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Start calling her Yoko

>>16947710
How will that hope? we're not a band.

Hey man, most of us don't like X and don't want her to hang out with us, is it okay if you stop bringing her over?

Also, don't be a little bitch.

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I went to a doctor to get drugs after all this, and I have a number of drugs that I now take to give me physical and mental energy, and they make a difference, but I'm not sure if its enough.

I have lows which I cant describe. I talk to myself frequently when I'm at home. I spend a lot of my day blanked out and in my head even with the drugs. I experience these kinds of lows which happen for days at a time, I can't describe them.

They're far worse than just feeling bad or depressed. I can't describe it, but I'm bedridden a lot of the time. I'm totally gone, and it's getting worse.

I have no real desires anymore. I'd like to be left alone. I don't have any aspirations or hopes. I have nothing I'd really like to achieve. I don't want friends or a relationship. If I was in a prison, I'd be okay in solitary with a book and a cot. I'd alternate between reading to break the monotony and reading. I tried going to therapy years ago, nothing came of it, and I realized my situation is essentially unfixable. I tried medication after refusing, and it makes me barely functional enough to get out of bed, but the situation is more or less unchanged.

I think eventually I'll have to go. I've seen people like me who've gone into their fourties, and it's not pretty.

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Diagnosis : Depression

Apologies for the odd structure of my posts, but I wanted to explain everything in as few words as possible so as to allow for the greatest number of people to give me feedback while understanding the situation.

>>16947678

If you want to eat less food so badly, just eat less food.

Yeah, you might have to withstand hunger pains. Get over it.

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>>16947685
any tips?

>>16947693

I don't know of a way to tell you to control yourself. That's up to you. When I was 200 lbs, and wanted to lose weight, I ate healthier food. I ate smaller proportions, and took time eating - instead of racing to see how fast I could stuff my face, I'd eat a few bites and then forget about it for ten or fifteen minutes, usually busy doing something else.

I also took up running, which is difficult to start but if you keep at it, the dividends pay themselves, especially if you have the want to actually do it.

Couldn't even run a quarter mile without dying of exhaustion. The next time I ran, two days later, same result. I started getting discouraged, but my friend told me to keep at it. Next time, I ran a little bit more. The time after that, I ran half a mile. Time after that, I ran the full mile. Then two.

It's putting forth effort, sticking with a game plan, and actually doing it. That's all there is to it.

Maybe you're bisexual and you enjoy getting other guys aroused? Maybe you're a literal cuckold and you enjoy the idea of your girlfriend getting other guys aroused? Maybe both? I don't know. But it's a really shitty thing to do to your girlfriend, that's the most important thing here. Huge, huge betrayal of trust. It's not really about you and your dumb fetish guilt at that point. Nobody cares about your fucking fetishes, but she'd probably be pissed if her nudes get posted on a porn site or something. I've even heard of stuff like that ruining careers for some girls, if people find out

>>16947675

...and?

>>16947687
One of my friends said he saw my gf on accident and she was one of those girls with a body you obsess about and I think it gave me the problem. I only showed pics of girls that sent them online that I don't know

Better food and a better camera.

>>16947672
fuck you bitch i made that shit myself

200$ sounds like 1hour coke and hooker.

if you already know him online then you should be fine just act like you do online

>sorry im new as fuck and am just testing if you can green text on /adv/

>>16947664
Same gender or opposite gender? If same gender are you both gay? Potential romance can change things a bit for obvious reasons. I kind of doubt there are women on /r9k/, but you never know. Just act the same way you do online basically.