Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 5572. page

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Start your question with Guys, Girls, or Both, so we know who you want to respond.

Avoid asking questions in the FAQ.
Keep your questions short and sweet for more answers.
And please no derailing arguments.

FAQ:
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
>Would you date a virgin?
><Random insecurity>
Some do, some don't. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.

>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Think positive, and get over it by practicing and exposing yourself to it, little by little, step by step. There is no single magical moment that will instantly change you forever. It takes hard work, time, and effort.

>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.

>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out. This is something that cannot be explained. You either have learned to intuit this or you have not. If you have not, the only way to learn is experience--there are no shortcuts. So it comes back to: Just ask them out.

>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online. If you never put yourself out there, you will never get anywhere.

>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. Stop overthinking it.
Alternative answer: we don't fucking know.

>XYZ happened. Did I fuck it up with this guy/girl?
Maybe, maybe not. We're not in their head, we don't know. No amount of walls of text will fix that.

>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing

>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>

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I guess it that find out her political views increased my optimism a bit? Doubtful though. (Labels herself as Left Wing, Could be only Bernie level, or could be further left like me. And stated that she would protest for the Same cause I would)


I guess that is is possible that she is just becoming more comfortable with Left wing views due to our class being quite Vocal (especially with Socialistic and Anarchistic views, at least 3 in the class want a Left Anarchist Society) and I always give somewhat radical speeches. The one I'm writing now wont be any different, probably even more Radical than the last.

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Hi /adv/

30 year old female here. My fiancé called off the engagement and packed his stuff and left after he started raging like a berserk.
Thing is, he asked how many men I have slept with before we met and I gave him the correct answer, which is a lot more than he apparently is comfortable with.

I never lied to him, I never said it was "just a few", but obviously I did not feel the need to rub it in his face unless he specifically asked.

Ironically, he was the one who lied to me, initially. When we first had sex he told me he had fucked a lot of women. He is extremely tall, very handsome, green eyes, athletic and very educated and articulate so I thought it figured, but he lied. I may have had sex with lots of other guys during the past years, but I have never felt that way for any of them. I deeply love this man and now he left me and called off the wedding for something that has nothing to do with our relationship.

He says he can't trust me anymore, even though I never lied or cheated on him and that he couldn't imagine having children with a person with such a sexual past.

Is there any way I can bring him back to reason? I want this man, he and I fit so perfectly together and I just can't understand how this can be such a dealbreaker to him. We've had such intense connection right from the moment we first met which is why he asked me to marry him only after 4 months into the relationship. I just don't want to lose him...

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ONE QUESTION....NO MEMES....NO BS...STRAIGHT UP LEGIT ANSWERS....FROM GIRLS PLEASE

Does height matter? And how much? Does a guy have to make up for it in other ways if hes shorter?

Whats the cut off point?

Please honest answer and no bully

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My boyfriend broke up with me after finding an old video of me having sex with 2 guys.

I've been on 4chan forever, and I've read stories like these before but I never imagined I would be one of them. This is what happened:

>bf and I dating for a month
>blurt out that I only had sex once
>he asks: "really? just one guy?"
>reply "yeah just once"

I never told him that I had sex once, but with 2 guys at the same time. He has never even pretended to care about my past so I thought it wouldn't really matter. I realize I kind of played with words to make it seem like I had sex with only one guy after he asked "just one guy?" but I honestly didn't think much of it.

Then this happens:
>2 year anniversary comes up
>we're playing with each others' phones like we always do
>he's looking through my files and I'm looking through his
>suddenly he gets very serious
>silent for a minute
>looks at me and asks "is this you?"
>shows me my 4 year old sex tape with 2 guys

After that it's all a blur:
>he gets really angry
>throws the phone on the couch and storms out
>doesn't respond to my calls for days
>eventually picks up
>ask him if he's angry because I didn't tell him
>he says "I could've never imagined you doing something this disgusting. I would've rather seen you fuck a 100 different men over a 100 different days, but 2 guys at the same time?"
>tells me we're over
>hangs up
>haven't heard from him in 2 months

I just don't understand his reaction. What does that thing about a 100 guys mean? I barely have any sexual experience and he's freaking out because of 2 guys? Someone please make light of this for me, I'm losing my mind.

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Didn't see one

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I was debating whether to post this on Reddit or here, and I chose here, because I feel like I'd be getting less sugar-coated bullshit answers. I don't think my boyfriend is gay. He's a hikkikomori and not a porn addict. He hardly masturbated before he met me. You know how people say all guys only care about sex? Or that guys always think about sex? Well he doesn't. It's not with me, it's not with other girls, and it's not with anyone/thing else. He's just not a sexual person. I know he loves me. I know he's attracted to me. But he doesn't have the need or want to have sex with me. And I don't want to spend every fucking day I'm with him wondering if we are going to have sex. I don't think I'm a sex addict by any means but he keeps calling me that and it pisses me off. I think that it's normal to want to have sex with my partner, and he should be pretty fucking happy or feel pretty fucking lucky considering the amount of guys whose girls' DON'T put out.

Ideally, I would love to have sex with him every night. I understand that that is something that would never happen. I can't just masturbate to satisfy myself because sex to me is mostly emotional rather than physical, if that makes sense. I don't want to have sex to feel pleasure, because if I did, then yes I would just masturbate.

So this has led to him being less affectionate, because I let him know that if he starts rubbing me (my legs, crotch, chest) then it will get me turned on and I will EXPECT to have intercourse following that, otherwise he is just teasing/leading me on, and that doesn't feel very nice.

So what do you guys think? Am I in the wrong here or is there something mentally wrong with him for not wanting to have sex with me?

We plan on getting married and a lot of our problems and me crying end up because of lack of intimacy. He can hug/kiss/cuddle with me but just does not want anything sexual because he doesn't "need" it or feel the "want" for it.

Thanks for reading.

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for sleeping with married people?

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Alright so I really fucked up.
My best friend has had a crush on me for a long time now and I used to like her. But shes super sexually active so I find that incredibly disgusting and brush off her advances.
We once had a long talk about dating and I tried to passively reject her but she kept harping on about how good we were as friends and how we might as well change our 'title' without changing anything.
About 2 nights ago and a party/gathering and somehow people started making jokes how we should be together because we are 'perfect' and I spilled spaghetti.
I said we wouldnt even like each other because Im weird and shes dirty.
Now the guy teasing me was a normie and tried to joke off my comment but I immediately realized what I said and Im pretty sure everyone else did. Its especially bad because shes been dealing with being called a slut and whore a lot recently at our uni and its been eating at her.
Yesterday when I saw her I got bitter ex wife vibes from her and Im afraid she might actually stab me in the back. Like shes pretending not to be mad and its only making me more afraid that something is terribly wrong and will go wrong.
How do I fix the status quo? More time?

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To start us off, I read something recently which in my experience is wholly untrue but I'd like to get your (girls) thoughts on it. On women rejecting men and their feelings towards those guys

"She wants you to be that man. She's secretly rooting for you, She doesn't want to reject you. Every time a new man walks up to her, she's secretly saying to herself, "Please, please, please be the man. Be the attractive man that I can't say no to." And then he nervously stutters around buying her a drink and makes uncomfortable jokes about the weather and she's back to that horribly uncomfortable position of having to reject him again."

So how accurate is this? Is that what you girls really feel when a guy approaches you?

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Anyone need advice on girls?

I do really well with ladies, and dedicated much of my 20s with the soul purpose of learning even more about attraction and what buttons to push.

Willing to help some of you out. Ask away.

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>No, but we can be "just friends!"
>we can be "just friends"
>"just friends"
>"ʲᵘˢᵗ ᶠʳᶦᵉᶰᵈˢ"
>ʲᵘˢᵗ ᶠʳᶦᵉᶰᵈˢ

Why is "just friends" a thing?

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I am a female with Borderline Personality Disorder so I am a she-devil incarnate.

Ask me anything!

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>Be 5'4" 165 lbs
>Have a wife and a child, not even 20 years old
>Wife subtly starts suggesting I work out
>Months pass, no progress because I don't feel like it
>She starts getting more upfront, saying I should care about my physique like how she cares about hers
>Reply with "But I don't need to. I'm not morbidly obese."
>She gets frustrated and storms off.
>A few weeks ago, she just stopped talking to me about things.
>I come home from work today and she's on the phone with some guy.
>I'm quiet, standing in the hallway waiting on her usual greeting (ex: Hi sweetie! I'm so glad you're home. How was work today?)
>She grabs her purse and as she's walking out I ask "Where are you going?"
>"Hm? Oh I'm meeting with some friends of mine, we're going out and Matt said he'd work out with me today. Dinner is ready in the oven, love you. Bye!"
>Hours go by, it's already 7 and she left at 3:30. She still hasn't come home. What do I do, /fit/? Did I fuck up by not working out?

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How do I get less picky about sexual partners?

I want to slut it up but I never see any guys I'd be interested in.