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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 459. page

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yo /adv/,

How can I just stop being hung up on someone. I try to meet other guys, but I just end up really hung up on /him/. It's been like this for over a year, and he has already told me that he doesn't want a relationship, but I keep wanting him.

Any advice?
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Cut contact and do therapy interventions to let go of that person. There's no other way.

If you have victimhood syndrome, you hang out around him or constatnly think about what you two could have been together in a relationship. Remember to tell your friends all about for years and years; Im sure they will appreciate it.
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>>18635324
Stop pining Ashleigh, and maybe move on to one of the dozen or so guys that actually want to date you.
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>>18635324
>he doesn't want a relationship,

Speaking as someone who doesn't want a relationship, it comes and goes.
Unless he's literally slaying pussy and that makes affection pretty much disposable and replaceable, there will be times where he wants more..

Bust a move.

i recently tried smoking because im an adult and i never tried it and i wanted to know what makes smoking so good that people get addicted to it
I did it a coupl times and i was hit with this intense sense of relaxtion and then i realize im never relax and its not like i havent tried healthy ways of dealing with anxiety like taking a big long walk or reducing sugar and caffeine or keeping a healthy sleeping schelude, i mean all that helped but it never brought my anxety to a manageable level.
Smoking isnt really a long term solution to this so what can i do beyond what im alredy doing to reduce anxietty and please don say meditation because i tried meditation and its not for me
29 posts and 1 images submitted.
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how about medication?
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>>18635313
There is nothing good in smoking its just stupid people who started smoking to look cool and ended up as adicts. I dont think you should use it to reduce anixety since when adiction kicks in you will feel even worse until you get your fix making you even more anxious.
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>>18635322
no, i was on lots of different medication as a kid and im never taking that shit again
>>18635338
have you tried smoking?

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Serious question:

I've been with my current wife for a total of 6 years. I treat her right, and she is happy.

However, she is very good looking and a 10/10 on the social butterfly scale. She is always the center of attention at every social event, and she loves to get drunk.

As long as I treat her right, I shouldn't have to worry about her cheating right? This is in spite of the fact that I know lots of funny, intelligent, and attractive men will try their hardest to fuck her at many social events when I am not present with her.

I try hard to be self-confident, but I have a lurking paranoia. Everyone tells me to not worry about it, but I wanted the opinion of some autists that never leave their basement.

My main worry is that she finds another guy funny or interesting to talk to, has a bunch of drinks throughout the night, and then the guy is able to somehow make out with her or something of the sort sexually.

Please tell me why I shouldn't worry about this ever.

Thank you for serious responses
14 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Find out what her love language is and find out yours. As long as you provide each other with the love you both need there will be no reason for her to stray. Look up the five love languages.
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>>18635312
Given you guys have already been together 6 years and nothing happened, very unlikely to happen in the future: she is already used to and comfortable with you, for many* women that is a key part of the relationship and they would feel extremely reluctant to let go of it.

*just make sure she is in this "many", though by now, you should know the answer

Don't worry about it
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>>18635312
>she loves to get drunk
specify how drunk and what shes like under the influence..

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I'm getting really worried about my mental state. I'd probably say for the past week or so I've been seeing shadows dash by, my vision turning and distorting, and hearing random noises on occasion. I probably shouldn't be panicking because, as my parents told me, it's likely a temporary illness or something but I can't help but think of the worst. I have a fear it could be a sign of something like schizo and I'm 18, the age around when schizo starts to set in. I've never had really great mental health and it just worries me. Should I really be this concerned and if not, how should I try to calm down? The hallucinations over the past week always get much worse whenever I get stressed
4 posts and 1 images submitted.
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You getting enough sleepp!?
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>>18635300
Sleep is important like that other anon says, but outside of that, if this is a serious mental health issue, it's something you need to get a jump on before it gets worse.

Seeing little nothings is likely just your mind playing tricks. However, if you're hearing full fledged outside voices inside your head (not yours, not a voice you are making) or if you're having thoughts that seem foreign or intrusive, if you're seeing full bore hallucinations like faces or creatures or figments that look totally real, these are the things you should be watching for between a little too tired and actual schizophrenia.

Talk to a doctor, be careful.
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>>18635359
I've been having trouble with that due to having a lot of nightmares but still manage 6 hours of sleep a night
>>18635371
You're probably right, I'm just scared these hallucinations could get worse

I've been with this cute and sexy South American girl for half a year, she's an 8/10 without makeup and a 9/10 with it on, and she's absolutely obsessed with me. She wants to marry me even though she's 17. When we're out, she does get attention from other guys but nobody attempts any shit. I like to make beta cucks jealous of what I have, and I'm wondering if I should upgrade, and I know I have the looks and confidence to do so.

I consider myself a 10/10 (just accept this as if I am a 10, for argument's sake. Yes I have NPD but that's besides the point). Should I look to upgrade for a girl who is a 9 or a 10/10? Yes, I am shallow as fuck, but I'm young so I have plenty of years ahead of me to browse and trial before I make the purchase.

Other info:
Current gf's personality is maybe a 6/10. Really annoying and selfish at times, but loving and funny when she's in a good mood.
There's also some issues around trusting her, she's done some minor shit in the past that causes me not to trust her.
Her family is rich as fuck.
I love foreign girls, especially dark and cute ones like her (she is my type to a tee).
She's 17, I'm 20.
I'm a fucking stud.
28 posts and 2 images submitted.
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Bumpety bump
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There's no such thing as a universal 10/10, a 10/10 to someone is a 9/10 that happens to fit that person's physical preferences. So basically you're a 9/10 and you're dating your equivalent.
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>>18635272
>Yes I have NPD but that's besides the point

Congrats, you almost made me choke laughing.

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this is a bit of a long one so bear with me.

I've been with my girlfriend for over a year now, and at the start of the relationship she was struggling with an MDMA habit that was tied in with her eating disorder. She hid much of her drug use from me until after she kicked it, which hurt me a lot because I really hate being lied to. Things were good for a while, then she began to relapse with her ED and got extremely depressed, began avoiding me and using adderall for school/weight loss over the course of months which she hid from me. All of this eventually came out in February when she was dangerously underweight and admitted herself to counseling at a treatment clinic, she told me everything and I was, again, heartbroken that she lied to me but I know that none of it was malicious. She just couldn't let anyone see she was starving and falling off the rails again. I promised myself that day that if she ever lied to me about drugs again then I would leave her. Fast forward to this week, our friend who lives in Edmonton came to visit and the two of them were hanging out while I worked the night and she told me they were just drinking and hanging out. Something about it just felt off though, and as I suspected when I asked her about it in private when we were all hanging out last night she told me that they did M that night, and her justification for lying to me was that she couldn't tell me anything because I've been so controlling lately and I would have just gotten mad at her (which is not true, i've expressed to her before that I don't mind if she does shit once in a while but I don't want to be lied to or kept in the dark about anything, considering her history of lying to me and the fact that I tell her any time I do any hard or dangerous drugs). I was really disappointed and angry, but we continued on with our friends and by the end of the night we were all drunk and having a good time.

(cont.)
2 posts and 1 images submitted.
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When our friends left and we went to bed though, I kind of snapped out of it and acted really cold to her, refusing to cuddle etc. and she apologized for everything and asked me if "we were okay" and I just mumbled that I didn't know and needed time to think. I could barely sleep and couldn't stop thinking about the promise I made to myself and my broken trust etc. We ended up having sex in the morning before I drove her to work, and as I dropped her off we both agreed we would talk more about it later.

I feel so torn and conflicted right now because I love her so much but I know that I can no longer trust her the way I used to, and I feel that I would be an idiot to not follow through on my personal promise. It has also been quite a difficult relationship what with her eating disorder and mental illness struggles but I just can't bring myself to viciously end it, I believe that I am a very forgiving person and if there is a chance to salvage and make things work I'd rather take that path than let go.

Sorry for the ranty, long ass post. I just needed to get everything out and onto paper.

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>takes Computer Engineering classes on uni
>first day
>curious about how the class will be
>it's all a bunch of full blown neckbeards, autists and a tranny
>I am basically the only person who actually socialize

How am I supposed to survive 3 years with this
4 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Either suck it up;
Or make it your goal to turn (some of) them into good people.
Nobody's forcing you to befriend everyone.

Also most autistic people (going with the common definition of autism, not literal autism) are great people to work with, just a little harder to reach.


Your first glance judgement ain't worth squat.
Get to know them better, you'll see they aren't all that hopeless.
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>>18635265
I've already interacted with all of them. Some of them are just too hard to get along with. I was simply having a slight conversation about what the syllabi would be and one of them suddenly stutters out a joke I didn't catch and starts laughing uncontrollably awkward
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>>18635301
Maybe I didn't get the memo, but wasn't social interaction about getting along with all sorts of other people?

I thought you were looking for quick advice and gave you just that:
Just roll with it. Think of it as a challenge if that helps.


If you want more specific advice then you'll have to elaborate on why is it so daunting for you to realize your CE classmates are socially sub-par?

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God dammit. There is this girl who I confessed to a while ago. She was one of my best friends but since that day she has never spoken a word to me, not even look at me in the eye. I thought maybe she needs some time away from me but its been 5 fucking months. I thought I've let go but every time i see her and want to start a conversation or something, she ignores me and walks away. But besides that she seems to be living a happy life without me while I'm still here alone because she was the only person I could trust with telling personal things to. Its obvious that she doesn't want anything to do with me anymore but I just feel like complete shit. I'm not sad because of the rejection I'm sad because I lost the person who meant most to me in my life. Its hard to move on from this I don't know what to do
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>18635232
If she could drop you so easily and ignore you, you probably didn't mean much to her. It sucks to have someone you like not return your feelings and it sucks even more to have them ignore you or treat you with disdain after you make yourself vulnerable to them, but it happens. Be thankful she made a clean cut with you instead of trying to force a relationship or maintain your farce of a friendship. You might not feel it right now but you don't need people like that in your life. You don't need anyone in your life who doesn't want you in theirs. Wish her the best (in your mind) and move on with your life. There are so many other girls.
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>>18635267
Thanks for that. And its true I was vulnerable to her. She treated me like an amazing friend, she helped me with my depression, anxiety, stress, etc. I've never been so open to anyone but I guess you are right. Maybe our friendship was fake, maybe if I never told her we'd still be friends right now but that would probably mean I'd be living a lie
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>>18635267
But its still hard to let go of someone important to you. It fucking hurts

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Ill make a quick summary first.

Been insecure in myself since i was bullied as a child until i was 14-15. I could never accept what a pathetic and weak pussy i was as a kid so i always made the effort to do things considered badass such ass starting fights when i was actually scared shitless, acting like a tough guy even though i was actually insecure as fuck, acting confident with girls. All of these things i did while i felt petrified with fear.

Eventually everyone else saw me as a 'tough' guy or a badass or whateverthefuck so i always had to keep acting as one even tho i was insecure and scared as fuck because i didn't want people to see what a weak pathetic pussy i actually was. This eventually resulted in me starting to hang around with criminals and other disliked members of society, which would lead me into a life of crime, which in turn would lead me into a life of drugs to mask my insecurities and fears and the fact that i really disliked the people i hung out with on a daily basis.

This all happened from when i was 14 to i was 19. I ended up in jail, got a prison sentance.

I am now 23 years old and i have no fucking idea of who i actually am. All the years of pretending i was someone else has erased my personality and identity. Everyone i surround myself with look at me as someone who i dont feel like, I feel like someone i dont want to be and i have no idea who i am supposed to be, no one in my life, even my family, even me, knows who i actually am.


Ill stop rambling.

What are your thoughts /adv/? Is there anything i can do so that i dont feel imprisoned in my own life?
3 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Bumb
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First time on here.

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What's the ideal end result of "moving on"? What does it look like when you've fully moved on from someone (that you still love)?
2 posts and 1 images submitted.
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When you no longer need another person to be happy. When you can see that other person without that feeling of longing or attraction.

You need to be a complete "whole" on your own.

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How do I become a better conversationalist?
8 posts and 2 images submitted.
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Keep up with current news and trends
Know what you're talking about
Listen as much if not more than talk
Use the person's name more in conversation, but not to a creepy extent
Dont make the conversation about you if the person is talking about themselves
You can point out how it relates to you, but dont steal the show
Dont force a conversation where there isnt one

Also read pic related in social techniques.
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>suicide
>reincarnation
>pray you are not born in yet another autistic body

or, you can just shitpost on /pol/, /fit/, /ck/ and /g/ like I did for a year. Interact with people there. I went from virigin to chad thanks to that
Or maybe I was destined for becoming like this and I was just not fully developed yet
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>>18635202

BY holding conversations. You'll be bad at first, but the only way to improve is practice.

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How do I chose a health/ dental insurance? Want to have a doctor and a dentist but I'm not sure what things to look at specifically and what questions I should ask.
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Wish I could help, good luck. It's always helpful to ask friends and family for recommendations for good doctors!

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>talk to friend of mine
>tells how he has made some girls cum/squirt a few times
>only sexual partner is gf
>although I can get really rough and make her moan loudly, I never get her to squirt or orgasm from penetration

what am I doing wrong?
9 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>18635136
Squirting is a meme, it is scientifically proven to be piss
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>>18635136
Squirting is not common and lots of women don't cum from intercourse ever
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Most girls don't cum from penetration.

They need external penetration and some clit play, for a long time.

Take your time, play with you gf, get to know her body, ask how she masturbates. Don't get too hung up on a result (cumming) its more about the intimacy and having fun with each other.

Also, I assume you friend is lying or at least exaggerating.

Hey /adv/, I need some opinions and some personal experience with meds.
For starters I will admit that I have schizoaffective disorder. I know I need to take medicine to keep the psychosis at Bay and function. I just feel I take to many. Any one else with mental health issues advise on the different types and how many kinds of medication they take would be greatly appreciated. I take:
Latuda for the schizophrenic symptoms
Nortriptyline for headaches
Trazadone for sleep
Sumatriptan for migraine (not everyday of course)
I am now supposed to start taking Fluvoxamine now.
Is this alot, can anyone compare?
3 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Nigga patients can compare their medicines just for shits and giggles, professionals can assess if it's the right combination of medications.
Have some trust in your doctor.
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>>18635223
I do want to trust her but the Paranoia makes it difficult. that and three of the medications I take are anti depressants

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>invite bf to work event on our city's local island, where everything is free
>we have a good time at first
>bf runs out of his smokes
>starts getting cranky
>apparently island doesn't sell cigarettes
>mfw he had plenty of time to buy a pack before he got to the island and knew the exact times the island is open and closed for us
>he keeps complaining he wants a cigarette, and no one would give him one
>mfw there's nothing I can do, I just hope he can hold off until we get on a couple rides at the amusement park
>he rips up his wrist band ticket that gave free admittance to the amusement park rides and wants to leave
>I tell him he can leave by himself but he waits for me to leave too and acts like an ass to my friends trying to have fun
>friends and coworkers clearly feel the tension and I feel too awkward now to stay
>we're home now and not talking

He's acting like it's my fault for not responding to his "needs" and why the day had to end the way it did.

I don't even know what to say but I'm so embarrassed and pissed off. What should I say or do?

Even if dumping/kicking him out was an option, I can't just do that. He's new to the city and has no where else to go and he just started this random part time job as a fruit loader or something.
39 posts and 4 images submitted.
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He should have taken care of his own needs
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>>18635094
He was obviously irritated by his lack of smokes. I believe he will feel sorry for his actions an acknowledge his mistakes, unless he was irritated by another factor, i.e. your friends.

This will give you the option to excuse him for it, talk about it and make a decision about what to do next.

For now, wait it out and bring it back up later (when he has had his smokes)
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>>18635094
"If you're so dependant on the tobacco jew to have any fun at all then you should have brought more before we left. Blaming it on me is very shitty of you."

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