Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 466. page

>>18633173
you: "do you wanna go out sometime?"
Femanon: "yeah sure"
You: *pick a time and place and say you'll meet her there* if she can't make it just work around it until she's free.
If she says "are you asking me out on a date?" or "is this a date?" say yes

>>18633173
Hey wana grab a coffee tomorrow pre school/work bla bla
Hey wana go out to this event bla bla, after we can go for a drink..
Anything small is good. Dont go expensive like you own the planet.

>>18633167
>Butting into a relationship
It doesn't matter what combination of sexualities are involved here, still a douche move that would make everyone upset. Honestly she might be a good friend, but if you don't feel comfortable in the friendzone then I'd recommend moving on entirely.

>>18633167

>confess my feelings

what is this a chinese cartoon?

>>18633167
She is a freak like her "girl"friend. Find a better women.

>>18633150
Hi /co/

This may seem self-evident, but take a minute and try to give a functional answer: Why is she pissed?

>>18633156
Basically she told me she liked me after months of strongly hinting and me trying to deflect it. I'm not really somewhere in my life where I want a relationship, which I told her a while back but I think she took that to mean that I'd be ready to date her if she waited long enough. Tonight she asked me if I'd try dating her for a month to see how I liked it. It was pretty desperate and it gave me a "I should never have let this go this far" feeling so I came out and told her I didn't like her that way, which is also true. It may have been the first time I ever told her that or let her know that it wasn't just that I didn't want to date, but even if I did I specifically wouldn't want to date her. Those weren't my words of course but I'm sure it was hurtful. I feel really bad about it but at the same time I wonder if reaching out to her or trying to mend fences is an emotionally selfish thing to do. I like having her as a friend but I know she doesn't see me that way so I would just be trying to force our relationship to be what I want.

>>18633191
First of, I don't think you handled the situtation up to this point perfectly, but I do think you did so admirably. Honestly, its kind of a pleasure to try to help someone who actually seems emotionally mature, for once. I'd love to be able to help you with this, but you have got to realize going into this that its really not in your hands. It takes two to tango and if all she really wants to do is take her ball and go home, there isn't really much you can do.

What were your last words to each other? Was it like she stormed out of the room and said she never wants to see you again? Did you say like I gotta go but I'll call you later? How did things end up to this point?

How often did you guys talk and/or get together up to now?

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>>18633113
Am I supposed believe this shit

Are you sure its aspergers and you're not just full blown retarded?

I am aspergers too so that's why I'm wondering.

You basically told her "You're 'nice'(dating speak for uninteresting) and ugly"

Don't stress about it. Everyone gets rejected at some point, and we all have to learn to deal with it. Rejection helps people to build a sense of self worth based on something other than what people think of them.

She might handle it well right away, or she might be upset for a while. Either way, it's her (very minor) problem and you shouldn't worry about it. Date someone when you're ready to.

>>18633079
Practice bhakti-yoga, one of the core goals of yoga itself is to bring the mind under control of the self. The mind is constantly restless and rebellious, and sometimes it spews out nothing but negativity, but this negativity is ultimately not what you are. You may falsely identify with the negative thoughts, but that is only due to false ego and ignorance of your actual position as the atman, or soul. The mind is best the friend and enemy of the living being. For him who has conquered the mind, the mind is the best of friends; but for one who has failed to do so, his very mind will be the greatest enemy.

Dealing with negative thoughts specifically, they are fueled by fear that arise from tamas, or the mode of darkness. Just as darkness is destroyed by light, tamas can be counteracted by cultivating the mode of goodness, sattva, which is accomplished by regular yogic practice and a sattvic diet.

>>18633074
If you frequent /pol/ so much you find yourself wasting all your free time in it, you should rightfully be deported to Straya and quarantined in there.

Seriously, though, there are several obvious ways you can weasel out of your predicament. If you had problems with attendance, you could always cite a family tragedy and how it was so emotionally debilitating, you had difficult re-adjusting yourself to society again. It might sound like bullshit, but for all they know, there might be a small chance where you indeed had a close relative die on you. If your attendance isn't the problem, but your grades are suffering because of your insufferable hobby, cite extremely stressful ongoing event in the family such as illness, and how your time is taken up because you had to be there to take care of your cousin Bob who's dying from leukemia.

Everybody fucks up, and nobody's proud of their fuck-ups. Bullshitting your way out of this like a rat bastard isn't a particularly honorable solution, but if it's the only way you can dig yourself out of that situation, there's no choice but to go through with it.

Good luck, and stop poisoning yourself with /pol/.

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>>18633261
>lie
I wonder (((who))) could be behind this post
Anyway, I told them I was too busy with my side projects and let school take a back place and that it'll never happen again. Thanks Moishe :^)

>>18633074
Fuck. I did the same thing as you and spent an entire month stewing in the volcano of my mind till I finally found out that all I needed was submit an appeal - which has a 100% of success first time submitted.

I spent/wasted 1200$ taking classes over the summer to make up for the mistake too. Yup. I know this is retarded and isn't helpful but the point is: the school WANTS you to stay enrolled. Probably.

>>18633070
Take the expectations out of what it means to "go out." You're probably putting a lot of pressure on yourself to do all these things and find the right spot and get all this stuff out of it. Just take a walk, realize you have the right to be out there just like anyone else. Pick a place, any place, and say to yourself "I'm just gonna pop in, see what's up" and if you don't like it, don't feel weird about leaving. You're just popping in.

I recommend going to a bar or something, because you can level up to striking up a conversation with a stranger/the bartender if you're looking to get practice with that kind of thing and it sounds like you might be.

>>18633084
For the most part I'm just trying to live a little and actually go out and meet people. I've been friendless and lonely since I graduated High School, and I really want to fix that.

internet protocol version six

>>18633051
It's called stop stealing your neighbors' wifi you broke ass nigger.

Shared IP pools. Someone from your ISP was shitposting and the IP you gotnwasnhis

>>18633049
Bury them. And go for a nice girl ffs.

>>18633049
Why not trying it out? Homosexuality is a nice experience to have and can help getting confident in yourself

>>18633049
You should suppress these feelings.

Don't reply and have the dogs ID Updated asap under a different name. If they confront you, say you don't know what they are talking about and that this dog is a stray. Good luck m8, dogs are the best

>giving a shit about politics when your day to day life consists of working a shitty 9-5 job and masturbating to porn on your off days.

Found your problem.

You are insecure and/or uneducated. You should unironically ask /leftypol/ for some book recommendations.

The Manifesto is essentially a pamphlet and it's a good place to start if you didn't read it in school. Emma Goldman's Ansrchism essay and Berkman's ABC of Anarchy are good starting points in anarchy. I don't know much about Marxism-Leninism, but The State and Revolution is the typical beginner's book after The Manifesto.

If you want to understand Marxian economics, Professor Richard D. Wolff is (somewhat unfortunately) the most famous Marxian economist in the U.S., and he has several introductory lectures available on YouTube, plus a weekly program for current events.

I can suggest more, but the collaborative power of /leftypol/ will put to shame any list I come up with. They'll also be able to give you more non-leftist works, as well, as I would assume you'd like to hear all sides.

>>18633035
Also, I'll add "The Conquest of Bread" by Kropotkin. Along with Mutual Aid

>>18633019
>it isn't a women's job to initiate sex
Spooky. Read Stirner.

Your girlfriend is really, really silly and I don't think most women think this, although I have read that women's sex drives are more reactive than active. I don't know if that's actually true, though, but it holds up in my experience.

t. woman

>>18633026
>I have read that women's sex drives are more reactive than active

In my experience there's definitely some truth to this. I was on a drug once that had the side effect of skyrocketing my estrogen, which killed my sex drive but I could still get it up and ejaculate IF someone stimulated me, but not before. The "hunger" for sex was just totally absent. Kind of fucked up my sex life because I realized I was expected to be the aggressive one and my hormonal profile was just incompatible with that, but made me think that maybe that was what a woman's sexuality was like. Definitely jives with my experiences with women.

I've also just been joking around with female friends while drinking and grabbed them or overpowered them physically in some way and their reactions turned to at least some sexual arousal out of nowhere. Plus women who are into being dominant are sooo rare. Interesting to think about.


OP your lady sounds kind of lame and stuck in her ways, especially if you've framed it in a way that it's something you'd like and enjoy. Seems kind of selfish to just be like "nah that's not a woman's job." But if you haven't tried telling her that it's something you'd actively enjoy, especially in a way that makes it sound enticing and sexy. I guess that's all you can do desu.

>>18633019
Why do you want her to initiate if you're already getting PiV in the first place?

I'm not asking to discredit you, I think understanding why you want it is part of the solution.

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you're not alone in this. be strong man. the first thing is you can't just take drugs to escape reality. it will only make you unhappier. trust me, I've been there, I quit and I'm sober. I'm happier and I feel okay usually. we need to be responsible in order to have good feelings about ourselves, we need to act like an adult. and the only way to do that is to confront what's making us take the pills or smoke the pot in the first place and change it for the better; you'll be much happier in the end. I get a lot of negative emotions, and you just need to weather the storm and get in the habit of keeping yourself occupied. play video games, go for a walk, start exercising.

>>18633018
First realize that you are atman, the spiritual soul residing in the body yet unaffected by all material activities. What gets affected is the mind. Depression is simply a state of mind, it does not become you. It is through false ego alone, identifying with the mind and thus with the depressive state, that you yield to these depressive tendencies. Depression results in the mind when you condition it towards the mode of darkness, or tamas. Eating meat, oversleeping, lamentation, and fear. Learn to rise above these tamastic qualities, and do not get attached, because attachment will bring grief and depression. Take up a spiritual practice of yoga, specifically bhakti-yoga by the practice of japa, or mantra meditation. The chanting of the mahamantra: Hare Krsna, Hare Krsna, Krsna Krsna, Hare Hare, Hare Rama, Hare Rama, Rama Rama, Hare Hare gradually elevates the mind and purifies it of all negative qualities. Just as darkness is destroyed by light, the mahamantra cleanses the mirror of the mind.

>>18633009

Things get easier once you're done with puberty.

>>18633011
I am as stupid as a child (didn't finish middle school) but I am an adult.

>>18633009
Not all people are bad. Yes, some are assholes and some are criminals, but that doesn't mean everybody is too. A lot of good people exist out there, and you'll never get the chance to meet them if you keep avoiding them like this.