Please help me with a difficult breakup. I know that it is up to me to decide, but I just need to get advice, as this is the first time I am experiencing this.
I broke up with her after 4 years. She was my first. I was her first. I am in my early 30s, she is in her late 20s.
The good side: she says to be deeply in love with me. I have grown to love her too. We had many wonderful moments together.
The bad side...
She started to talk about marriage almost right away. She wants me to be treated already as a member of her family.
She has OCDs and BPD. She is seeing a therapist.
She is extremely prone to negative thoughts and criticizing people, starting from herself.
She takes small incidents and builds them into her own picture of a person. For example, she keeps bringing up isolated events from the past to demonstrate that I am insecure and uncaring.
She broke up with me maybe 30 or 40 times. But she always came back. She says that breaking up is the only way to make me understand that I have crossed a line.
We have a fight once a week or more. It usually starts with her attacking me because of something she sees implied in my actions or words. I am not the best guy in the world, but usually those fights start when I am trying to be supportive and caring...
She has problems with sex because of her religion. Actually, she is open to try everything in bed and enjoys it a lot, but full intercourse is forbidden before marriage. She thinks that having sexual experiences with me is her greatest proof of love.
I decided to break up with her. I do not trust our relationship anymore... However, she is suffering. She said she would do everything to change. I feel bad for her. However, should I ask someone for such a deep change? I feel like a relationship should be about "adjusting" to each other, and not about urging someone to become someone else. It is about being together, and not to suffocate each other's personality.
Can you share your opinion on this?
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>>18260264
She won't change, trust me. It is unfortunate that breaking up would cause emotional pain but all breakups do. One of my friends was in a relationship with a girl he didn't want to date anymore. She had panic attacks whenever he tried so it took him around a year to finally cut it off. You have to prioritize yourself sometimes. It's not your responsibility to control how someone feels, although being so close makes it seem like you have an obligation. Break up and cut if off quick to avoid the guilt of taking her back.
On a side note: I've wanted to date a girl with a mental disorder (something like bulimia or anorexia) because I feel dating a damaged girl would have some benefits. Are there any benefits to dating a girl with a mental disorder or does the bad completely outweigh any bonuses that the disorder grant you?
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>>18260565
>I feel dating a damaged girl would have some benefits. Are there any benefits to dating a girl with a mental disorder or does the bad completely outweigh any bonuses that the disorder grant you?
I don't know if I would ever think I could use someone else's illness to my advantage... However, when I met her I did not know about her condition, and she did not know either. It is something she became aware of during the first year of our relationship.
Sometimes, when she's suffering, you feel like you want to protect her. And it is great to see that she feels relieved with just one of your hugs. But I'd rather see her standing on her two legs, strong and secure, than knowing she'll be in perpetual need of "healing" hugs. Moreover, unfortunately, hugs are very far from having any power to help her for real...
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>>18260593
It wouldn't be a long term endeavor, more like a side project. Yea seems annoying af actually. I have a feeling I would be over it within the second week. Thanks for helping me avoid that pitfall.
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Can someone tell me what it is? Its bumpy and I popped it yesterday and some puss came out with some blood as well.also seems too have gotten white on the side.it doesn't seem to itch or hurt unless touched. I don't think it's an std since I'm a virgin and haven't had Any sexual contact with anyone. Help would be appreciated . 1/2
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>>18260074
2/2 also its located about my dick.
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>>18260074
a pimple
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>>18260074
The pic is all hair and therefore useless, but I'll second the anon above. It's probably just a pimple or an ingrown hair that has been infected.
Anon
Relationship advice for the retard 2017-04-26 07:27:05 Post No.18260042
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Relationship advice for the retard 2017-04-26 07:27:05 Post No.18260042
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Relationship advice for the retard
Anon
2017-04-26 07:27:05
Post No. 18260042
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It's 2 am in the morning and am new to 4chan, sorry if my formatting is legit autism, hopefully I get hang of it soon enough.. I have incredibly high standards in regards to my looks, I've been told by friends I'm a 3/10. Can't wait to hear how I'm viewed by others. Tried talking to girls only to be rejected one after the other. Skinny 5,5 Jew nosed boy. Started talking to this hoe... we'll call her Sara. Sara is pretty but our conversations are borderline depressing. They're one sided to shit and she doesn't give a flying fuck what happens to me, she sends me a Snapchat every morning to keep our snap streak alive and I'm completely clueless on why she'd want one with me. Came to the point where I blocked her but the streak was still alive. Holy fuck I sound autistic but I'll keep going. Eventually unblocked her, we keep snapping. These snapchats consist of me asking how her day is going and if I can do anything to help her, she replies with how depressed she is and I ask how I can help. She usually leaves me on read but can't help to constantly respond and fall to her feet everytime she snaps me. Can somebody please tell me i don't have a chance with her so I can I just move on. I've been told by my "amazing" friends I have a chance with her but, if they saw our narrow and shallow snaps, they'd understand how much of a fucking loser I am. Side note, I've told this bitch I'm going to kill myself and she shrugs it off
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>>18260042
Hmm you should probably just start ignoring her. If she shrugs off you saying you want to kill yourself. Probably just looking for attention
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>>18260042
If you can score, sure.
If not, why the fuck do you even keep it going?
She's a fucking wankstain, she's not relationship material, so why would you stay around her, you dense fuck?
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Was legitimately going to off myself and still on the bridge about it, only people that would care is family, have nobody else. I'm a loser, loner, awkward, academically retarded and have no clue how to process my own emotions. I have a plan in place the time for my death comes and I'm possibly being shallow and crying for attention.
Honestly clueless on this chick let alone my own life, everything was given to me and my life is repetitive and boring. My only choices are drugs, military, or dying.
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what career could i realistically get into that feeds 4 people. i don't have money to study and i need to be able to get it started on the side. any ideas?
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>>18259971
Drug dealing? Shit, if I knew a job that could feed 4 people with no education or experience required I'd be on it.
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Prostitution.
Begging.
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>>18259971
plumbers make good money
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I fucked up bad tonight and need some info on debit card shit.
I had a 135 dollar sale and forgot to store the card reciept. My manager told me that the bank wont give the company I work for its money. But we have the receipt that shows the time it went through and the price plus a "batch number". How fucked am I or will things get resolved?
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Can you go into more detail?
I worked in a restaurant and dealt with shit like this, maybe I can help
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>>18259961
>How fucked am I or will things get resolved?
I want to help you, and give you a concrete answer buuuut i'd probably need to know:
What country are you in?
What mercantile processor do you use?
Are you guys still doing signatures, chip and pin, something else?
What credit card machine processor do you have?
I know the nice thing about our machines, the machine itself records signatures and whatnot so if we lose a copy we can always either download its history or access an online portal for the terminal and print out another copy.
But i specifically looked for a mercantile processor that was highly reviewed and I picked out higher end machines specifically for it's ability to record signatures.
So I don't know what your situation will be like.
As for what the boss is going to do, probably depends on them, your work history, and how they feel about you as an employee.
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>>18259988
I work at a porn shop in America. The guy used a pin and his chip. Its also my second day and my first day doing sales
Incredibly Depressed Retard
Romance Advice for a Retard 2017-04-26 06:33:59 Post No.18259944
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Romance Advice for a Retard 2017-04-26 06:33:59 Post No.18259944
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Romance Advice for a Retard
Incredibly Depressed Retard
2017-04-26 06:33:59
Post No. 18259944
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Hello /adv/, so this is my first time using 4chan, and I'm using it to ask for advice. Which is probably a bad idea, but I don't give a fuck! See, I am in love with my best friend, but I am just so god damn depressed and confused, and my life is a fucking mess. I used to attend school with her, but I was a whiny bitch and went to another school. Some stupid religious school, even though I'm an atheist. Eventually, I got expelled, or as they put it "Indefinitely suspended until proven not insane". They thought I was gonna kill everyone. Anyway, I still talk to her and are other friend on Kik. These are my only friends. Because I'm an anti-social freak who doesn't want friends. On New Years Day, like right when it turns 2017, I get all weird and sad. I think I like her a lot. I tell her next day after big huge confession, really cheesy and shit. She says okay, we can date in Highschool. Next day, she says her mom found out and got mad because she is angry gook bitch. I think this a total fucking lie. I just forget about it, tell her its fine, and that I was just acting weird. Anyway, recently I have had fights with the two friends, because I think they are gonna hurt me, and that they are using me and abusing me. One friend sends their stupid aunt to talk shit to me over kik, like wtf? Pick yer own fights bitch. Anyway, that leaves me with my friend (Her names Scarlett btw), so I yell at her, and she leaves in the middle of the convo, although it still said she received all of it. Later that night, at like 1 AM. She texts me, I stay up until like 3 or 6 AM. She says how nice I type and write, I write stories and stuff. I am loopy af, and I just apologize, because it was just one of my depressed rages. So we talk until 4, and I start getting all those feeling again, although I still had them since last time, I started looking back through the convo, and I saw all the chem we had, and I just kept thinking about how perfect she is.
Continued Below
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Please learn to format sentences. It's like I'm readying a bullet point list. Or just fucking green text
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Then like a day later, we get into another midnight convo. This time she is talking about anime because she is a Weeb, she loves this Yaoi shit. Like gay anime and hentai. I ask about it to be nice. She gets all excited and asks if I wanna see pics, I say yes (never had a problem with faggots). She shows me a bunch of pics, I make a joke question, asking if she had gay porn on her phone. She then asked if I wanted to see hardcore shit, I said yes, not expecting her actually send hentai. SHE THEN PROCEDED TO SEND A TSUNAMI OF GAY HENTAI! So I got fucking shocked but then had an idea. I like lesbo anime (Not much, because I ain't a fucking weeb). I ask if I can send Yuri hentai. She says yes, so then for the next hour we have a SUPER HENTAI DEATH BATTLE (that is what I wanna call it). I totally won, but I called it a draw to be nice. So this left we wondering, does she like me? or am I in the friend zone? Is this sexual tension? or is she just comfortable in our friendship enough to show this to me? So then days past, then yesterday. We skype, and it is fucking awesome! We joke and laugh, and she speaks in her engrish accent because she is foreign. I am just so desperate to talk to her because just sharing a few words with her makes me happy. She is the only thing in my life that makes me happy. Sadly, she rarely replies, and when she does I have to reply instantly or else she goes away. I think it is because her notifications are off. So anyway here I am, thinking of the future and how awful it will be. Listening to the Sex Pistols and bitching on 4chan. Thinking to myself, I love her, she is perfect, I want her to be mine forever. But I'm not fucking stupid because that is impossible. I hated the whole idea of love before I met her (okay one time before her, but that's for another day).Love is depressing and hard. It is not sprinkles and unicorns that cum rainbows. It is a depressing and desperate game. But I am willing to play it,
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So /adv/ how do I begin?
Also sorry for the shitty formatting. This is my first time using 4chan. I swear I'll learn how to green text next time. Sorry for being a fucking normie.
Anonymous
Do opposites attract? 2017-04-26 06:33:56 Post No.18259943
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Do opposites attract? 2017-04-26 06:33:56 Post No.18259943
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>Me introvert 19 year old in college
>Asks girl out to get food
>Learn shes really into going out
>Finds out im an introvert
>Have no common hobbies
Would a relationship work out??? I met her in class really interested in her but after seeing our first outing it really doesn't seem like we're going to ever be dating. (Going to Sriracha factory with her in a week or two).
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>no hobbies
It won't work. You could be more or less opposites of each other but without something to fuel conversations it'll quickly turn boring/into just cuddling and sex, which is far from a good relationship
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6mjD3K96MVY
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>>18259951
Is it possible to try and get into her hobbies? She offered me to go rock climbing with her before.
Anonymous
Is going to college for IT a bad choice ? 2017-04-26 06:20:03 Post No.18259916
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Is going to college for IT a bad choice ? 2017-04-26 06:20:03 Post No.18259916
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Is going to college for IT a bad choice ?
Anonymous
2017-04-26 06:20:03
Post No. 18259916
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I have basic math skills but enjoy being on the computer I've considered
>Computer science
>Software engineering
>Information systems
>Information technology
But I heard IT is being tooken by pajeets and computer science is "hard".
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>>18259916
Be careful. Just being into computers doesnt give you the ability to learn computer science.
The IT man is right. I have also heard from an aquaintence claiming it was "note heavy". Already know what this means. It requires calculous level math skills and such. Only go for this if youre a big math person.
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>>18259916
>big math person
aka parjeet
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I am studying IT in a college and so far so good,
don't listen to other dips saying shit about IT, everything's fine.
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How many days of starving to kill a sub-two-week-old fetus?
>a-asking for a friend
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>>18259907
Abortion not an option?
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>>18259907
You can just order the drugs on the Internet.
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>>18259907
>Babby born anyway
>Born with developmental disorders and screams 24/7 so taking care of it fucks up your life even more
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Advices on immigration (legal) or working in the US?
I always coveted California for unknown reasons and wanted to try it, but anywhere I can make a dyme and be useful would work as well. I have zero documents besides passport and refuse to do anything sketchy (I'd take a job tho, bachelor's degree 26 y/o male).
Any thoughts? Is it plausible or couldn't I have chosen a worst time for this? Please give insight, really needed. It's been on my mind for some time already.
(Please no marriage bullshit. only legit advice to acquire citizenship)
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>>18259867
If you're not marrying or sneaking in, theres a multi-year waiting list friendo
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Do you have a job offer from a US company, or are you the spouse of a us citizen? Are you rich enough that you can live here and not need to work?
If the answer is no then there's no way for you to legally immigrate, sorry.
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Bump, not OP but want to live in warm climate and English speaking country aswell.
Also my question, if I win green card can I stay in my country for few years to finish studies or green card would expire in that time? Heard that you need to spend atleast 6 months+1 day in USA to keep it
Anonymous
How much does my degree dictate my career path? 2017-04-26 05:43:36 Post No.18259866
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How much does my degree dictate my career path? 2017-04-26 05:43:36 Post No.18259866
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How much does my degree dictate my career path?
Anonymous
2017-04-26 05:43:36
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Question: How much do you think my degree will dictate my career? I am an industrial engineering major (facilities planning and the optimization side of production like produce how many of x etc...) Do you think it is logical/possible to work my way into a different engineering field? I graduate in the fall and am not switching majors period. Financially it is not an option. I honestly really like the mechanical side of it. Designing new parts, making sure they're up to code, that kind of stuff. We did have to take a couple of classes on that but not as intense as an engineering tech major or something like that.
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>>18259866
>engineering
Not at all. Having degree in this field means you have patience, math and logical skills and some knowledge about machines.
It is mostly just a ticket to open doors to companies you wouldnt be able to get in otherwise. The rest is up to you.
Apply to as many jobs as you can. Try to get intership in some company even when in school.
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Engineering don't mean shit. I'm an electrical engineer and I do mechanical, structural engineering along with program management at my job.
It's literally nothing but a ticket to get a good paying job and says that you're not a retard that's patient and has logical skills.
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>>18260326
>>18260256
Thank christ...I already caught on how much bull shit college was. Y'all just reinforced my feelings toward this shit. Sucks to know that I could have been taking classes that I would have enjoyed way more but fuck it I am almost done with this garbage and honestly I just wanna get to work.
Frame of reference: Engineering tech at my college teaches you classes about foundry, welding and CAD.
Industrial engineering fucking teaches me bull shit about stat, facility layouts, quality control and linear programming. Its good to be able to talk business with people but I have hated the classes I had taken for the last 2 years.
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Just started working at my first job a few weeks ago, and everyone has been asking me (as the first or second thing we've said to eachother) whether or not I have a girlfriend.
Is this just something normies ask eachother right off the bat, or does it mean something?
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>>18259804
They all want your dingdong dude. The women AND the men.
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>has a job
>calls others normies
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>>18259807
I am trying to start a new religion.
I have done a lot of contemplation and I believe I have discovered insights into the Mind of God.
I need to find a way to spread my message and garner belief. My theories explain the purpose behind the universe so I think they could become popular.
The general idea of my religion is a marriage between mysticism and Christianity, while stripping away the Jewish aspects of the message.
In the end, I believe I am on a spiritual journey to find the Godhead, which I think I have uncovered the pathway to. But I need a lot of help to get there.
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So far I can get about 1 out of 10 people to semi-believe me or at least respect my insights.
If I had a population of believers I think the movement could sky rocket.
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>>18259766
>If I had a population of believers I think the movement could sky rocket.
It really wouldn't. The only people who don't already have a religion to believe in are skeptics. Good luck, though.
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>>18259756
You're not even close.
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My mom is overbearing and emotionally manipulative. I'm 22 years old, about to graduate college and she still hovers over me and tries to influence my decisions. She's always been this way, unwilling to let me learn anything on my own. Whenever I call her out she acts like she doesn't know what I'm talking about and tries to make me feel bad. I even tried joining the military to get away from her but I got disqualified. How do I get away from her/keep her out of my life?
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Move out
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That's what moms are for, anon. While my mother trusts in my decisions, I still rely on her first and foremost for emotional or financial support, as opposed to shrinks or loan-sharks. Having good family relationship is important, because the only thing that matters is the Grove. Best you can do without disowning your family is to sit through, even if it turns out tedious and unproductive, discussion, now and then. At very least, she will feel her advice is somewhat recieved in a right manner, and you might be able to sway her opinion. My grandfather is pushing me towards college education, and while I strongly prefer working and making money over studying and spending it, it might just turn out this boomer is onto something here. And besides, what is it that your mom wants you to do or not to do? Do you still live with her, because what she might want out of you could simply not be a choice if she owns your ass? Also, its important to understand what makes her tick and why she is giving you all that crap. If you can reason with her using simple "why do you think so and what would change your mind" approach in a nuclear outcome, you will most certainly both benefit from this situation, as opposed to uneasy back and forth stalemate.
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>>18259729
how do you get rejected from the military...?
my brother is in the military....
health issues maybe?
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I'm 26, I work at costco part time (almost sort of full time) I make about 14/hr and have great benefits, but it's stagnant and i'm going nowhere.
I was in college for some time at a community college and got my associate in arts and general education curriculum degree in about 2011 and I haven't gone to school since.
I'm feeling trapped because I need my job and benefits to survive but I also need some sort of forward movement. I want to go back to university but i'm petrified of the student loan debt that may come with it.
I also have an opportunity to get into construction that could potentially lead into some skilled trade education through that but i'm uncertain of that too because it's a long back breaking route to get somewhere decent there.
Is there any alternatives or do I need to bite the bullet and take the debt and go back to school or just endure working in 100 degree weather and make a little more money.
I know one thing I can't stay at Costco forever like the sad fucks I see there that are 100% trapped and miserable. Any other anons in a similar position? I don't think i'm very smart but i'm not retarded either, I managed a 3.8 GPA in community college (granted it was gen ed stuff so really fucking easy)
I have no direction in life and im feeling really lost and trapped.
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>>18259710
If you went to school you would have to go for 2more years by the time your out you would be 28 after that you would have some debt. I would honestly if i were you i would go for the construction because your just gonna be tied down to a job you probably dontwant with construction your not tied down with debt also your not gonna have to waste 2 more years of your life.
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>>18259763
Lol construction, he's kinda right tho. Apply to unions man, they start you at 16 an hour, depending what union you join you could be making 30 and up an hour in a year or 5 years, like I said depending what union. Every Union is different.
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pls respond