Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 6317. page

Single,

But hang out with my buddy here and there who lives with his gf.

You still have your interests and do your own things if you want.

Watch movies/shows etc.

>>16758884
I've been living with my boyfriend for 3 years.
First, you don't spend all your time with them. We spend 5-6 hours together at best.

We have sex every day. We clean the house and cook together a lot. which is kinda fun. We watch movies, listen to music, watch tv shows, play videogames. We talk about our day, or comment the news together. We also spend time on our own or with friends.
And even when we're silent, it's not awkward. I like being in silence with him. We often just lay on the couch, he works on his laptop, I read a book, and things are fine.

It's about your connection with her, OP.

You can only live with a woman with whom you're content doing taxes and watching TV. It's a lot like a really strong friendship.

you make 82 a week?

wtf get a real job then move out

>>16758936
Here in my country is like the normal thing. I have wanted to get another job, but it could be hard because I will have my degree until May, maybe

>>16758971
Well you better be applying for a job for when you have your degree then!

Can you work more / do more shifts at your current job?

>>16758869
OP here

anyway his alcoholism and the fact he's a poorfag with a lot of debt also fucks me up. He's trying his best to overcome the debt but I don't see it happening. Also the fact is I don't want to take it on, or worried about getting married then divorced because of financial problems.

also he sits home and drinks and sleeps all day. He's much different than the guy I started dating and he's hella boring now. He gets angry if I make plans for the weekend and I don't spend them with him, but like, i don't want to waste my young years doing nothing at the same time.

but then there's fact I love and care about this dumb motherfucker. we literally are best. fucking. friends. we make eachother laugh, each others health is always first on our list, he worships the ground I walk on.

which leads to another problem. he was diagnosed with abandonment disorder, and I know from he previous relationship, he doesn't take break ups well. I'm seriously concerned if I do break up with him, he WILL commit suicide. not threaten it to keep me with him, but actually 100% drink himself to death.
and I still love this guy ya know I don't want him to hurt himself.

IDDDKKK there's so much more to it for 4chan doesn't want a novel.

TL;DR
I'm conflicted about breaking up a 4 year relationship

are we allowed to bump? wasn't expecting /adv/ to move so fast off the first page.

Rip off the bandage and break up with him.

Yeah, it'll be hard at first. You'll lose so much security. Connections will be broken. Emotions will flare up. You'll regret your every step. But, in the end, it's what you want and need.

You're wasting the best years of your life as an unhappy slave. When you're 80 years old, would you rather look back on having a lot of stress for a few weeks and then relief, or look back on 60 years of commitment and slavery? And it would be 60 years, since your motivation to leave will only dwindle as time goes on.

As for his suicidal tendencies, this is a bit trickier. There are many ways to go about this. I'd reccomend fabricating some trouble in the breakup. If you don't care about superficial things like reputation and insteaf focus on efficiency, then cheat on him blatantly (keep in mind, you'll be universally considered a piece of shit if you do this, especially if the plan fails and he kills himself). You could also refuse to take his crap: do stuff on the weekends, enjoy your life, ignore his alcoholic rants, just generally say "fuck you" to him. Whatever you do, make sure to gradually (not so gradually to sink deeper in commitment, but not so abruptly to break his psyche) have his opinion of you grow more and more negative. Then, orchestrate a big fight and break up with him. For precaution, I'd reccomed throwing out all of his alcohol beforehand (this also serves as a way to start a fight, you could say yoy're tired of his alcoholism and he'd get all defensive). Just be careful to make sure he's not too distraught.

As for the whole "losing a friend" part, make this clear to him after the break up so he can change as a person and, maybe after the dust settles, you can be friends again. Tell him 100% honestly what you didn't like in him and in the relationship, he'll either change or you'll have a reason to forget him as a friend.

>>16758857
Do you have a comfy bed? Invest in an electric blanket. Blackout curtains. Sleep machine. Good smelling linen sprays. Qt SO to snuggle.

Probably the most important thing to do would be to do something relaxing for ~30 minutes before bed that doesn't involve staring at a screen, which tricks your mind into believing it to be daytime.

Sounds like anxiety. I take over the counter melonin to help with nights like that, but be warned it'll fuck with your dreams and leave you feeling groggy the next day.

>>16758880
No my bed is not that fancy.. Just normal. And I dont think its because my room is too light, because I can also sleep when my light is on.
But I will try to avoid screens next time. The thing is, I have been lying in bed for 3 hours and didnt look at my phone or anything, but my mind still is just too awake.

>>16758854
Get off your ass and walk the streets of your town, asking at every single business or store you pass.

>>16758818
I think the 3ds is a good start. That's how I started playing. I like Animal Crossing, Professor Layton, Pokemon and a bunch of others. Just finished Okami Den. So many fun ds games available on the cheap.

My boyfriend just introduced me to Skyrim on pc and I like it a lot.

>>16758818
Something more casual like nintendo or so.
But like the everyday gamer thing download steam and get like a fps or a free mmo.

>>16758818
Don't do it senpai.
You'll waste so much time.

It's what happens when you disregard your emotions in exchange for sex. He obviously has mixed feelings about you. You should expect this if you're going to be fucking around.

find someone whos like water. Not water with jagged ice bergs

>>16758817
Why do you care so much? If anything this guy's just a fling. It's not like you're dating.

Post pics please.

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Plz no bully

>>16758816
>40 weeks ago

nigga she could look like a different person altogether.

>>16758889
like i can discern anything from either of these photos.

>>16758810
Nah its pretty normal to be horrified by your feelings. You were in a relationship and deliberately manipulated to like her but it happens in other situations too.

Paedophiles often dislike their sexuality. Rape victims can be turned on by it and hate that feeling. Even people with dark sences of humour can freak themselves out. The list is endless.

>>16758810
I'm sorry to hear what happened to you, but congratulations on getting out.

>But sometimes I still miss her, just thinking what it would have been like had it been different. Is this normal?
I don't know if I'd call it normal, but it's fairly common in people who have been through this. You certainly are not alone.

>Have I completely lost my mind?
No, but you HAVE been traumatized. You probably don't need to go to the hospital, but seeing a therapist on an outpatient basis would be a good idea.

>>16758808
>Basically, how do I raise my kill count?
Shooting up schools seems to be the popular thing these days. Also, don't know why you're bringing up chicks on tinder if this is your question

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i lol'd. i'm not an angry virgin, I only want to slay vagina.

>>16758808
Just read up on game/PUA blogs. The best info is out there for free, so don't get sucked into subscribing to something. Rational Male and Mario Favela were the ones that helped me the most. I don't really care for the PUA lifestyle but definitely into ethical game/spinning plates.

>>16758783
If this stuff is eating you up you should talk to her about it. Otherwise once you are a husk the desease will move onto your relationship. Then it will move onto your respect for her. Finally you'll murder her.

I'm telling you Hitler had a bad relationship and didn't deal with it properly...

>>16758795
Solid advice! No it's okay. I get hit on daily so I have nothing really to worry about. It bothers me because I am used to my girlfriend's saying that a lot but this one is special and that's why I am happy to be with her. But still... I busted my ass to mature from that scrubbed out pimply Jackass I was back in Highschool! Lol!!!

>>16758783
I've been through almost this exact scenario. She basically liked every swinging dick that smiled at her. I dumped her because I always endeavored to treat her like she was the only one that mattered, the light in my life, but to her I was just the only one that reciprocated her

Do you masturbate more than once every four days? if so, stop. In your twenties, you shouldn't jack off more than once every four days. If you're in your thirties, once a week max. Forties, once every two weeks.

Not cumming often will give you a huge boost of sexual energy. If you don't cum for four-five days, you will have zero problems getting hard. You may cum fast, but that's fine. Totally normal when you have a loaded gun. Either have your gf give you head or a blowjob before sex, then eat her out until you're hard again. don't be afraid to jack yourself off while eating her out to prep yourself.

You can also jack off immediately before sex, but you'll need five-ten minutes to get hard again. This only works if you didn't cum often the past few days, otherwise you'll have a subpar boner or won't be able to get hard.

and when it comes to anxiety, also totally normal. Try this:

Shift your inner thinking to a more confident voice. Realize that sex isn't a big deal, it's just fooling around and having fun with each other. You don't have to perform like a porn star, just do what your body wants to. Get out of your head and into your body, focus on the feelings that you're experiencing next to your gf.

Also learn how to eat pussy properly. Look up the video of Sunny Lane giving a lesson on how to go down on a girl. just google search sunny lane how to eat pussy video. you'll find it. The key is to suck, not flick with your tongue. Suck on the clit and vagina like you're extracting the life out of it. use the pressure of your head against it as she gets closer, and do full slow licks up the vagina to the clit. Never flick the clit with your tongue, it's not fun.

Practice makes perfect. The more sex you have, the better you'll get at it.

communication is key: Talk to your partner, explain what kind of sex you require to perform well. If you want to take it slow and gentle, tell her. If you only want to focus on her, tell her.

pt2V

pt 2

Also look up the book The Multi Orgasmic man: sex secrets every man should know.

It changed my life. Google the pdf. It's a short and easy read, and just reading the first few chapters will make you feel way more confident in bed.

I used to have horrible performance anxiety. I also realized a lot of it was coming from my dependance on sex. I didn't want sex for fun or to communicate, I wanted validation. Remove the need for sex, and think of it as just "fooling around." it's seriously no big deal, you're just enjoying the act of fulfilling your instincts. Do what your body wants to do, and get out of your head.

Also huge: BREATHE. Learn how to breathe into your balls. When you breathe, expand your abdomen, not your chest. Breathe deeeeeep into your testicles, hold for a second, and exhale. This will remove a lot of pressure that forms when you're turned on next to a naked woman. Taking a deep breath will give you ten-fifteen seconds of relaxation and confidence. repeat as needed, but don't drive yourself crazy. again, stay out of your head, just make sure you're breathing enough.

The best position for anxiety is girl on top. Your PC muscles will relax, your body will feel more comfortable, and it makes it much easier to last long during sex. I like to start with my gf on top, then missionary, then finish with doggy style.

Always always always make sure your gf cums at least once before you put your dick in her. This will make you feel much more at ease because even if you cum fast, she'll already have had an orgasm so it's all good.

Either eat her out or just use a lot of lube/saliva and rub your hand up and down her vagina with all your fingers until she cums. it's not difficult.

Remember to take it slow, and relax. It's not a race. Slow sex is the best sex.

What you're experiencing is perfectly natural, never feel bad about your sexual performance. nobody is good every single time. doing kegel exercises can also help.

>>16759209
>do you masturbate more than once every 4 days
whoops. i do this daily. but as of late i've tried toning it down a bit. once i get a gf i'll try to start doing it even less, to not at all.

Congrats, it's a cyst!

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>>16758760
I wanted to upload another pic, kinda kooks like a vain

>>16758731
Ask once, no pressure, move on/keep cool for a date or two.

I had a bestgf like you too i was in love but i never said it (i think she was too).She than got a boyfriend so i lost al my interest in her i became cold asf to her. Since than im happy

>>16758731
Depends how much chemistry you feel with them, if you are friends it should be easy to just go out for lunch and talk to each other and become closer

>>16758726
Philadelphia

>>16758752
We were thinking maybe in virginia

north Korea