Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 6309. page

post moar pics, tell me where you're fucking up and I'll try and give you a diagnosis. Where'd it end this time?

>>16766339
It's not "over" but basically I was talking with this girl online and we briefly got on the subject of fwbs, then the next day we just kind of chit chatted and got a little flirty. I asked her out and she said she was busy housitting (read: in a house, all alone) so I basically told her I was interested in coming over and she played the whole "good girl" routine, so I tried to play the "bad boy" routine and it backfired and she just flat out told me no. The only thing I can think of is that I was being a *little* pushy.

There's like a million chicks out there dude. The easiest way to get a woman is pleasant indifference.

If the woman is worth anything she'll get you interested. Trying just kills it.

Well, keeping conversations up is his job as a man. But just be straight forward with him and tell him to not be shy, and that all is good and chill, men are very responsive to direct instructions

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>>16766318
>Well, keeping conversations up is his job as a man

Conversations are a two way street, you insufferable piece of humanity.

>>16766362
But men should lead, you dense motherfucker

All this advice has been bomb, thanks everyone!

-_-

>>16766340
Q. How do I meet people?

A. Go to where people are and talk to them.

Join a gym, volunteer, get to know your coworkers better. Even small towns have things to do.

There isn't a gym in this town, nearest is half hour away like everything else and as I explained, I don't have consistent access to a vehicle and my bf and I don't have the money to throw away on memberships until I'm working. the only library is half an hour away, hour by walking and it's so small it requires a membership fee from anyone who doesn't live in its township, volunteer orgs are all also over 30 minutes away.

I've been here for three months, it's a ramshackle town in the middle of fucking nowhere. I haven't not met anyone for lack of trying.

People like being complemented and paid attention to. The important part is to not put your dick inside of these very nice people while you're in a committed relationship.

If you love this person, stay with them. If you don't, and you just think she'd be a good wife instead of someone you feel genuine affection for, break up and save yourselves the trouble down the line.

>>16766331
This. I get the same. Don't let the confidence boost of having an awesome QT get to either of your heads. I check chick out sometimes cause it's in my lizard brain and I've thought about screwing some of those chicks but that's as far as it goes. I love my QT.

>>16766236
I know the lure of other women. It will never stop, it may go away briefly but that is it.

Pay attention to the feelings. Compare the women to yours. Most of the time it is just a 'grass is greener' effect. Also being young, going "out" is usually around bars and whatever, which is just a hive for guys to look at girls and to think that they are gonna get laid. It's in the air.

Take a scenario to the extreme. Pretend you are single in your last encounter. Yolu would get all those bubbly feelings about what could be and now can act on them. So you either just screw a new girl, or end up talking to one and getting a new girlfriend. If it was just sex, what happens afterwards? Nothing unless it turns into a GF. If you got a new girlfriend, would the cycle just start back up?

Bottom line. Keep it under control. If this is "wife material" you have to start treating it that way and get ready to build your life together. The lure will never go away, but you can keep it under wraps. Make sure you get what you need from your lady, and vice versa. IT can be tamed. Chill.

Do bumps still work? Trying once.

>>16766229
It's a big decision and not for everyone, but if everything is right with your wife and you, I'd consider it. Being a parent changes you, not for the good or bad, but your priorities change.

Maybe try becoming a foster parent of an older child or a mentor. It's easier to disengage from that sort of relationship if you can't handle it.

...you have really bizarre priorities if you care about personifying some kind of alpha male bullshit.

Why not just be yourself and work on goals that at least make some sense/

>>16766276
Because i don't want to be weak and lie to myself that i am being the best that i can. I want to be more manly and powerful.

Fake it til you make it.

Don't do it. Ending your life is pointless, tragic and terrible.

You could just see a psychiatrist instead. Things can improve -- but you need treatment to even see that, sometimes.

So just get the treatment you need and don't pointlessly commit suicide, pl0x.

How to find a mental health provider: http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/mental-illness/in-depth/mental-health-providers/art-20045530
How to find a therapist: http://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/guide/how-to-find-therapist
Dealing with suicidal thoughts: http://www.helpguide.org/articles/suicide-prevention/suicide-help-dealing-with-your-suicidal-thoughts-and-feelings.htm
A list of suicide hotlines by country (for fuck's sake, call one): http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html

>>16766178
>>16766178
thing is I don't see any reason to go on living, my grades in college are terrible, my gf despises and uses me, i'm lonely, my room is such a mess that it smells and there are bugs everywhere.

I'm just an all around horrible person too.

I don't think those things would save me...

>>16766183
Why don't you sell all your shit and travel the world. Or try psychedelic drugs. If you haven't tried all the options then why kill yourself. You might find happiness and peace somewhere else. If you've tried it all, seen the entire world and still feel like this you can always kill yourself later. But not before you've tried every option first

You sound like a dick and you're lucky your gf hasn't dumped you yet.

Talk to your fucking girlfriend, or another guy will.

This time next year you'll be complaining about how much you miss her.

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>>16766028
Maybe my gf's the dick? She doesn't care about what my job is doing to me after I told her I did this from stress. She just cares that I'm not doing what she asked me to do.

Do you ever tell people that? Like exactly what you wrote, the whole contents of your post right there?

>>16766039

Nope. Ill try but then pussy out and blame myself for being off for being sleep deprived or overloaded with school. It sounds reasonable since I'm a CS major at a competitive school, but the reality is I spend most of my time playing games and then study a little bit before an exam or a homework assignment and end up doing well.

>>16766079
...For being off because of sleep deprivation or being overloaded from school*

>>16765776
Get a hobby

>>16765789
My hobbies don't take my mind off it.

I just wish she'd communicate what's going on with me better. Sometimes she'll act like somethings off/she's annoyed by me talking to her, then she'll just randomly say "can you just leave me alone" and whenever I ask why or what's going on she'll either ignore me or keep saying "just leave me alone".

>>16765810
She's probably just mad that Jamal came inside her again after she said not to.

unfollow

>>16765521
She took me off of her friends list completely.

>>16765498
in your security settings should be something that would help you with that.
To lazy to look into it for you because normiebook is fucking stupid.

Tell her a worry-free casual-sex-only relationship is fine too.

I told this to a girl I liked the other day because I was too nervous to ask her out.

I'm probably gonna ask her out soon anyway.

>>16765451
Tell her you can teach her a lot of things that she won't find in her books.

Seriously though, she told you this or are the just gossip?

>>16765364
If you're hiding your 'practice girlfriend' then you're not really practising, are you? The point is to get the full girlfriend experience, and you can't get that if you've hidden the existence of your relationship.

>>16765369
good point.

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>>16765364

no. if you dont genuinely like someone, dont date them. sure you dont want to fuck it up with someone good, but wouldnt you rather all your first big romantic experiences to be with someone you actually like?

that being siad, how do you expect to get a girl you actually like if you dont like 4s or 5s? the biggest issue here (other than the fact that you're just using people) is that you seem to think there is a manic pixie girl out there who's at least a 7 that will somehow fall in love with you, when only 4s or 5s seem to care at all.

>how would i keep it low profile

this is a stupid question. how would you hide it? by not doing anything in public. but i doubt your gf would want that. fat and ugly girls love to 'glomp' you in public to show off how happy they are that they can get a guy too. telling any girl you want to keep it a secret will just make them out you to everyone.

>i dont want to hurt her feelings

than dont date her

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I think that deep down I'm terrified of women, that they are going to judge me and toss me aside, that I'm just not meant to be around them. I know that this feeling is irrational but the anxiety and fear I get when thinking about doing something is overwhelming. It would seem that after all that time I spent getting fit didn't do anything in making me any more mature, Im still too submissive, insecure, and oversensitive. I still feel like the reject in the corner from highschool. I don't even think I deserve to ever have a relationship, or even a friend... I've always felt that I was a burden to others, even from a young age. I hate this, I want anything but this, I want to know what a hug is like, I want to make people happy, the thought of me dying and no one giving a crap makes me sick. I want to finally be able to take action, to do something, but I dont know where to even start and keep hoping for the easy way out.

>>16765347

got any pics? preferrably progress pics, before and after type things, but even just a pic of you now would help. i ask because its easier to tailor this sort of thing to how a person looks, as that is one of the main topics of discussion and also to check out progres s(Recently started goign to gym myself. always been a skinny qt but now i want to be a big qt)

all that being said, what you're going through is rather normal. its not life destroying so dont think that.

stop right now and out loud ask yourself 'Would I like to date a nice girl?'

think about it. the possibilities. what it entails. the good and the bad. not just the sweet kisses and sex, but also the arguments and the fights. then answer yourself out loud.

if the answer is No, then why are you worried? is it because the rest of the world is dating? its not as uncommon as you might think to not date. I've been single for 3 years (Though i admittedly partake in sex quite a bit to compensate)

but if YES, the best advice we can give is the following
1) approach girls anyway (practice makes perfect, but going back to the pics, we can help you figure out what approach works for you)
2) realize that no rejection lasts more than 10 minutes. as soon as you are shot down or something goes wrong, you simply leave. this isnt' highschool where everyhone knows each other and talks. the girls you (can) approach now dont know you, your friends, etc. and even if they did they'd stop caring about 10 minutes after you are gone because they have their own lives to live.

keep in mind, its not really 'rejection' anymore etiher. its all about matching. if you arent a match, its no big deal. you are not shameful because you like oranges, even though i find apples to be far superior.

I´m a woman. Why are we so terrifying to you? We are all human beings, no?

You´ve been bullied so much that you are on defensive mode all the time. You need to let your guard down and trust that you are the sensitive, interesting guy that we can all tell you are through your post.

>>16765271
Go back to the asshole ex.
You'll just break the nice guy's heart even more if you keep dragging him along until you realize you can't pretend anymore.

I did the same to my gf's, I broke a lot of hearts and I'm still loving my drug addict ex-gf. Don't be me

>>16765271
get a new bf that is loving and you'll love him. Also why are you such a whore that you'd be with someone whom you don't love. Fucking hate dickloving whores

>>16765271

break up with your boyfriend if you dont have any real feelings. love can be a strong word but contextually it sounds like you just dont really feel any legitimate or worthwhile romance with him. no point in dating someone you dont actually get that from and its unfair to him if the thinks there is.