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Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 6304. page

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>long time gf of 4 years
>Get her a job because she wanted one
>Lost my job a week later and struggle a bit
>She starts making new friends at work
>friends push her to leave me, say she too young for me, and should be free more
>cheats on me, and then dumps me hard for some guy I don't know

Since she left, I got a new job, a nice new car, and been fixing myself up. But
I just got a call from her after a mouth of not seeing her.
This is what she told me.
>Guy she with only wanted her for fun, but is now bored of her
>Wants to move back with me as friends
>Saying I'm wrong for pushing her away because she cheated on me.
>We should still be friends, and doesn't see the problem with it.

I haven't respond to her yet, there a side of me that still loves her but she no good to me.
I been working hard to cut her from my life, from the shit she did to me.

I don't want to be weak and for in love with her again, I have to tell her no, I don't want to be hurt again.
I fill with hate and love when I see her, but I can't take her back, not even as a friend, fuck that shit.

But do I really want to throw away 4 years I been with some one.
24 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>16770522
>But do I really want to throw away 4 years I been with some one.
she threw it away and she'll throw it away again
>>
Don't throw good money after bad.

You've already wasted 4 years on an ungrateful cheater, if you waste any more you're doing yourself a disservice.
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>>16770527
This. She already showed you she is willing to drop your ass at any time. Don't put up with this shit anon.

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I was joking around with my gf and I saw this picture of a wedding ring made of macaroni, and since macaroni and cheese is her favorite food, I showed it to her and said "this is the ring I'm getting you"

All of a sudden she gets super serious and tells me not to joke like that and I better be going to zales or Kay jewlers, like she actually thought I was getting her a macaroni ring.

But what further worries me is how she reacted that way. It was so weird. Normally she'd just laugh at something like that. Is she seriously thinking about marriage? The only time I've ever talked about it was when I sent her a real sappy text message when she was feeling down, telling her I'd like to wake up every morning and call her my wife (real sappy but cute)

We've been together for over a year. When should things be brought up?
18 posts and 2 images submitted.
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Sounds like a vapid, materialistic whore. You should probably dump her
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>>16770491
2nd
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>>16770491
This

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For the ladies. How often do you approach a man that you think is handsome?
15 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Usually I just make small talk.
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>>16770459
Depends on where it is.

I'm more likely to approach someone at university/out shopping/at a cafe, then at a bar.

I think talking to someone at a bar gives off more of a "omg ur hot and that's the only reason i want to talk to you lol" vibe.
>>
Okay, would you ever expect anything to come of you approaching, or would you assume that they're out of your league?

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Post your major and minors if you have any. Also why you chose them and how you think they will benefit you. I'm majoring in Health Sciences and really thinking about minoring in Psychology. I'm in a 101 class for it right now and really liking it, I don't even mind reading through the 100's of pages of the book. Lastly does it provide and bonuses such as higher pay when you get a job?

Pic unrelated
11 posts and 2 images submitted.
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That's not how degrees work in my country but I'm a biology graduate getting an advanced degree on biomolecular science.
I wanna do a phd.
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>>16770519
Good luck with that, PhD in anythi g is gonna be hard, especially that lol
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>>16770424
Major is Social Work. Graduating in a few months, I like helping people.

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I have a slight anger problem, it's nothing extreme and I can control myself in most cases, but recently I blew my best friendship because I snapped at one point. I'll spare you the details, nothing physical happened though.

I really want to try to make sure this never happens again, once is one to many.
I'm considering getting a tattoo as a permanent reminder to myself to stay calm, and remember what anger brings with it.
I'd prefer a small tattoo as I don't want to spend a crapload of money on it.
I have no idea what I'd get and where though. Right now I'm thinking somewhere in the arm/shoulder area.
Any suggestions as to where and what I could get? Please no kanji or whatever for "regret" or "calm" or some shit like that.
11 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>16770403
>Any suggestions as to where and what I could get?
If you feel the need to solicit suggestions on location and design, then you shouldn't be getting a tattoo in the first place. Neither should many of the people who ARE sure of these things, of course, but getting one you aren't completely sure of is always a bad idea.
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>>16770403

Any place that can be covered up with a shirt. As for what to get, draw some stuff out, show an artist ask for his opinion. Ultimately the choice will be yours but if it's going to be small don't fret over it too much.

Don't get kanji, get something original. For ex a friend of mine is heavily into the occult, he made a custom sigil he had associated with peace, (calm) and drew it out and had the artist place it on the back of his shoulder, a sigil must be wrought in blood (or semen/squid ink) for it to "work". Turned out looking pretty sick.

> tattoo fag with an entire left arm full sleeve and many other tattoos.

But you did get by wanting to start small. Have fun man.
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>>16770429
That's why I ask for suggestions, maybe someone will give me an idea I didn't think of, it's not like I'll pick a suggestion I like and instantly roll with it. I do have some ideas myself but I don't know.
My friend really liked the fifth element, and so do I, getting that would be kinda cool. Would serve as a good reminder. Problem is my friend has that tattoo as well, then you enter on possible creepy territory.

>>16770443
That's pretty sick dude. Thanks.

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How do I look "good weird" instead of "bad weird"?
15 posts and 6 images submitted.
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Don't fall into the trap of overcompensating with "weird" fashion sense. This works for some, but I think largely it's more unflattering.

Keep yourself well groomed. Most of the sexiest and most confident girls are some of the weirdest looking I think.
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Hygiene. Make sure you don't smell bad, wear clean clothes, brush your teeth, clean your ears, go to the dermatologist if your skin is fucked, etc. Shit seems like common sense but I see tons of whiney neckbeards who definitely look awkward but if they just used some fucking dandruff shampoo they'd have a chance with at least some women.
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It's about confidence. Find out what works for you. I've been bad weird my whole life and only suddenly I've started to learn how to do better weird.

The grooming thing can to a certain extent be an issue if you have visible problems like dandruff and acne, but more importantly they are only an issue if they take a toll on your confidence. I've gone a month without washing my hair, showering scarcely, wearing dark, ragged clothes. My hair matted and I looked like a stray, but I didn't care because I'm in college and I don't care about anyone's opinion of me yet. It would be a different thing in the workplace.

Figure out what style works for you -neat, messy? Colourful, neutral? And tailor it to how it can make you feel most confident. That's what sets a stylish individual apart from a style victim.

My neighbor is out to get us. Literally, I live next to a lunatic. She's called the cops on my family for no reason, accusing us of stalking her and other illegal things. Every time the police respond, they investigate and conclude that in fact she is crazy but she hasn't done anything illegal. today i was taking out the garbage, she came out front to the sidewalk & put her fingers to her neck (a threat, las if she was saying "'m gonna cut you") as she filmed me with a camera. It was definitely her trying to provoke me and film a reaction. I told the cops for the record but obviously I have no proof so nothing can happen. We live in a nice neighborhood. She goes on rants every now and then, yelling loudly which makes me think its schizophrenia, but she only does it when her tenants aren't home however my other neighbors have heard that she rants. I don't even know how she pays for food because only a lunatic does that kind of shit. Her house looks terrible and hasn't been maintained in ages so I'm gonna assume food and utility costs come from both tenants renting and inheritance or something? Everyone knows she's crazy. I'm just worried now that she's actually going to act out because apparently she's been checked out by a doctor and all is good....there's nothing that the police can do until they have actual evidence that she's harmful. She's not giving me any tangible evidence and I'm pissed off that I have to put up with this
17 posts and 2 images submitted.
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It's been going on for years. What do I do?
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is your neighbor effectsofmaledominance
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>>16770394

Collect evidence/make notes of times and dates that she behaves erratically/dangerously. Present this to the police and request that mental health professionals get involved and hold her on a mandatory psyche hold.

If she is threatening you and behaving in an unsafe manner the police are legally obligated to report this to your local psychiatric unit, and remind them that not doing so is illegal, so don't stop calling them until they send a cop who is willing to do their job because nine times out of ten cops don't give a shit about mentally ill people until they flip out, and unfortunately in your position you can't afford to wait that long.

So either do that, or move.

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I think I'm ready. I'm don't feel scared anymore, but I don't want to go out drenched in my own blood.

What medications can I take in excess to put me down? I have some perscription pain pills, but my gf hid them somewhere. I'm willing to go out and buy something more effective, too.

If not, do you guys think its likely I'd pass out before I bled to death instead? I just don't want it to be excessively gory looking, I don't want to leave a messy cleanup, and I think that seeing blood everywhere might be a bit scarring. An overdose will just look like a very deep sleep if anything, I guess

Any suggestions?
12 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Don't kill yourself. It's so hard to OD on OTCs anyway. You'll end up in the hospital psych ward, maybe with some internal damage.

Just don't do it.
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Hey man. You got a girlfriend. So your already doing better then me. You only get one life. And once its over, theres no telling where we go. Don't waste it. Live it to the fullest and be happy knowing your always doing better then someone else.
>>
Why not just see a psychiatrist? It's not like you have anything to lose.

You're literally saying "yes, I could have a life full of happiness and important, worthwhile things, but instead I could kill myself and that's the more reasonable and attractive option."

I wish I could communicate this in some way that didn't make me sound like a detached piece of shit but unfortunately that is what I am at the moment.

>>16770265
Ending up in the psych ward is a good thing for a lot of people. I'm really glad I was admitted there -- it saved my life. (Admittedly, not all psychiatric facilities are equal, but mine removed me from a really bad situation and got me on decent meds, and I was able to feel safe there.).

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I have pretty bad anxiety. It's been this way for years. Generally I'm just anxious about everything but specific things trigger it and make it worse. It's what I hate the most about myself.

I'm 19, currently dating this girl that's super amazing. Like a 10/10 to me. She's super smart and beautiful and I'm deeply in love with her. She loves me too. We have had a pretty solid relationship so far. No real big issues. Only a few little fights here and there. But I am struggling lately with my anxiety and I'm scared it's going to fuck up my relationship someday.

I'm constantly anxious and paranoid about other dudes and her getting with them. She gets asked out/approached by dudes a lot. I know she's loyal to me but the idea of that just makes me anxious. I get nervous when she takes a long time to reply to my texts. I just get anxious and paranoid over stupid shit that I know is irrational but I don't know how to control my thoughts. I try not to let it show outwards because I think that would be bad but I think it's also bad to keep it in.

How do I manage this?
11 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>16770192
It's an anxiety that every single guy in the world has to deal with, and it's around that age at the end of your teens when you're worrying about that shit the most.

When you get a bit older you will realise you just have to come to terms with that worry. And use your judgement to decide one way or the other whether to trust a person. Your judgement is all you have at the end of the day - all you can do is make the best decisions you can.

If you really want to eliminate those worries then become more alpha. Play sport, or work out. And get more buddies. Actually just improve yourself in ways that are impressive to other people. Get a good job. Perform music, or theatre, or whatever. Do something that makes you feel confident in who you are.

But as I say every guy on the planet will always have that worry of their girl leaving. But it's just like worrying that you're going to get hit by a bus, isn't it. Just do your best to make sure it doesn't happen, then stop worrying about it because worrying is pointless.
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>>16770221
Thank you so much. That's actually better advice than I was expecting to receive on this site. Thanks anon.
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>>16770281
Become more alpha" is literally the most retarded advice anyone could possibly give, ever.

There are actual ways to deal with, cope with and treat anxiety. Perhaps use one of those. Or see a psychiatrist who can see if you have an anxiety disorder (and, if you do, find ways to manage it.).

Seriously, impressing other people isn't going to help you because that isn't how the brain goddamn works.

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>be last april
>dad tells me to move in with him (i was struggling on my own) and he'll help me with finishing college
>past few months have been a nightmare
>I contribute a small portion of rent because im poor
>rent is 1500, i pay 300, dad pays rest
>dad makes a little over 5000 a month, we're middle class, nothing special
>since about November, dad impulse buys away all our rent money
>November/December he went crazy on gifts and holiday stuff
>January, he spends his whole month's pay getting suckered in to buying a motorcycle he hadn't saved up for, but wanted (he wanted to go to dealer to browse and ended up walking out with one.)
>We're bordering eviction just because our account is short like 75 bucks

I've even asked my SO who doesn't even live with us to help us pay our rent the past two months in a row. I make barely anything after paying rent and bills, so I only have 4 dollars in my account right now.

My dad harvests weed when the season comes, and he's desperately making sales. Like, this amount of uncertainty throws me off so hard.

We were almost evicted like three times in a row already. Also, my dad had bad credit, so they ran my credit and I'm the main person on the lease. If we get evicted, it falls on me. And here my dad is just impulsively buying everything he sees when he said this was a "financially safe" place for me to finish college.

I'm so stuck. I denied extra hours at my job to make time for school, but now I need the hours and they gave them to someone else. We're stuck on the lease until April. My dad keeps blaming it on everyone but himself. And even when the lease ends, I have nowhere to go and since I denied the fucking extra hours, I can't even afford to rent a room in Southern California. Jesus christ. Any insight?
15 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>16770146
Tell him he needs to sell his motorbike. it'll by you some time.
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>>16770227
I don't know if he will, but can he do that if it's being financed? He put his paycheck as a down payment, now makes monthly payments on it.

He doesn't get paid until next thursday. I don't get paid until next wednesday, and the deadline to pay before eviction is the 8th.
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>>16770240

Take up a small loan?

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I have an almost full time job, and I start really early in the morning. Usually about 7-9 a.m. I work about 5 days a week. I get about 8-9 hours of sleep a night but I go to bed tired and then I wake up tired. Its getting really exhausting and I don't know what to do. My job is also very hard on my body and my muscles hurt all the time which makes it hard to fall asleep. I don't know what to do, does anybody have any advice how I could feel less tired?
14 posts and 2 images submitted.
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If you have trouble falling asleep, have you tried melatonin? I've found it really helpful for that. It doesn't keep you asleep, but it can help put you there.

In the US and many other countries it is sold over the counter as a 'dietary supplement' but it has absolutely no dietary use and is really only used as a sleep aid.
>>
Might be your diet, not getting all the protein and vitamins you need on a daily basis. Exactly how is your job hard on your body?
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>>16770141
Honestly, there's no real advice for you other than getting a better job, or at least a place that pays better so you don't have to work so many days.

It doesn't really get any better apart from becoming numb to the stresses of work until you hurt yourself.

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I'm $82,000 in school debt.

I have a job only pays 40,000. Sounds okay, but with $800 rent and utilities, cable, car payment, insurance, phone, food etc, it's not enough to pay my loan. I feel like I'm in a hole and there's no way out.

What should I do?
24 posts and 5 images submitted.
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>>16770121
Go back in time and get a degree in something useful.
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Get a cheaper apartment. If that doesn't cut it, ditch the cable and start taking public transportation. You easily make enough to get by on that.
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>>16770175

Do this

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QUICK I NEED ADVICE QUICK
There is this girl I want to ask out. But! I only see her once or twice a week, and neither of those times are good times. Was wondering if I should I friend her on facebook and ask her if she is free after class anytime. We are friends but don't know each other toooooo well but I think thats better for me so I'm not friendzoned. The next time I might possibly see her is Tuesday and I don't feel like waiting!

Good idea y/n n/y? Please thanks have a nice
day
13 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Not "anytime." Pick a specific day. And tell her why you want to see her, like to meet for lunch or whatever.
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you don't need this advice quick, why did you make me worry like that?
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>>16769854
whoa that was quick

>>16769860
Well tomorrow is friday so I was hoping to be like "hey do you have a class tomorrow so I can show up and ask you out?"
It sounds smoother in my head.

>>16769862
It has to be done tonight!
Sorry to make you worry anon i know you have a weak heart

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Break-up, or not?
I know that i should just sit and think about it, but it's too much for me. I've been thinking about it for a week now, and she wants to hear answer.
I'm with woman for 3,5 years now. She's greatest one when it comes to mentality, dreamed future wife- taking care of everything about you, cooking, giving head. The thing is that I'm young, and we are with each other since teenage years. My feelings burned out after maybe 3 years, I don't know if i can call it love or I'm just attached to her that much. I'm afraid that I would hurt her so much that you have no idea about it. We spent whole days together, planning future and shit, but fuck... I can't lie, that I'm not loving her that much anymore. On the other side, I'm her whole world, and she would do everything for me.
I'm sitting here, and thinking about breaking up and banging bitches at party, or fixing it and become her future husband.
I'm 20. Halp 4chan.
13 posts and 1 images submitted.
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bump, help
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>I've been thinking about it for a week now, and she wants to hear answer.

You broke up with her already?
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>>16769974
Not really. We are in middle of the way.
I'm a bit depressed overall, I've got that feeling when I wanna cut myself atm

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I've been feeling absolutely lifeless the past few months. Nothing brings me happiness anymore and while I go through the motions (college, shit job, etc), none of it brings me any satisfaction. I've been planning on hurting myself and others and I get to start therapy again soon but I am worried. Before I went for VA Disability, the only therapists I could see were civilian therapists. I had been to 7 but none of them made me feel any better and they gave me 7 different answers to the problem. Through the VA I get to see a therapist again soon but I'm worried, how much legally can I reveal about my thoughts, ideas, etc and how open can I be without getting myself in trouble? I want to talk about it but I don't want to go to jail either. It's very conflicting as it will be harder for me to get better if I can't explain everything I would think.

What do?
19 posts and 2 images submitted.
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Patient/Doctor privilege won't allow your therapist to reveal any information you tell them to anyone, unless you directly state you want to harm said person, in which case the therapist is entitled (but not required ) to tell only that person.
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>>16769712
What if, in that case, it was not directed at any one particular person?
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>>16769684
>I've been planning on hurting myself and others
You have to be honest about your thoughts. Look at it this way: better to spend a little time, if necessary, getting treatment in a hospital, then having your thoughts overwhelm you and cause harm to others, thereby ensuring a long jail sentence with no likelihood of therapeutic help.

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