Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 5993. page

>The only thing keeping me going is I love my family and I don't want them to be sad
Me, too!
It takes a lot to maintain some semblance of control in front of others, but we do it because we don't want to hurt them, even if we hurt.
I am sorry you had bad experience when young. Wish I could hug now. You need a good hug.
When I feel bad, I thin how thankful I am. Life could be a lot horrible, but, even if the hurt never stop, we can keep going! People are like wind, one come and one goes away. You remain

please tell me you're seeing a psychiatrist for your obvious psychiatric issues.

>>16891986
I am but I've only been able to open up about the more serious stuff a few times

Mostly I just talk about how I have online checking-up on people who hate me issues from my OCD

What your gf is that great of a meal ticket or what?

That's low. You're doing both girls wrong.

From a girl that has been cheated on don't do it! It creates horrible memories and terrible issues. If you love this girl at all break up with her because your just going to hurt her.

>>16891917
OP, listen to >>16891942

Obviously you don't "love" your current girl, and I'm not going to judge that cause breaking up sucks. But be weary of you cheat because it'll only make you look like an asshole. If you don't care about her emotions, or your reputation, then go ahead. If you have a conscious, then just end it and go have some fun!

>>16891916
Call again

hey, what do you wanna talk about then?
Dont have a solution for your problem, but i can certainly shitpost for a while.
So what's up?
What are the new things you're trying?

>>16891938
Eh, I don't know.

I tried drawing again, but it's not as fun as it used to be.

>>16891970
do you take drugs?

What is your depraved fetish that girls won't indulge you in?

>>16891887

its one of those weird rules of science like gravity. its universal and exists for literally no reason, but its 100% true and not at all a stupid attempt at a bait thread.

>>16891892
I just want her to dress up in a furry costume and piss on me, and she acts like that's just the fucking sickest thing.

You realize if you go through with it, she'll essentially be fucked over for life, have massive abandonment and daddy issues, might not ever end up in a decent home, and might just end up dead in a ditch OD'd.

If you're having a tough time, swallow your pride and get some help. Most governments are pretty sympathetic to single parents.

>>16891870
get help from relatives, friends, gov't
killing yourself is probably the worst thing you could do for her you selfish faggot

I suppose I am just a selfish faggot

hearing her say "daddy" is literally my favorite thing

still feel shitty af though

even posting here I'm just whoring for attention

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I've been in this position and I don't think it'll end the same way for us both. Honestly me and the guy I was dating broke up twice. Once we had forced no contact which basically drove us both crazy. The next time we kept mutual contact, and after a month of grieving I began to feel okay without him.
Honestly, I think what you need to do is let it all out. Allow the contact, allow the obsession to show its ugly face, because bottling it isn't going to get rid of it. Most likely you'll wear yourself out of this obsession by letting yourself feel it. Love is incredibly addictive and it has withdrawals, but the good thing is that you're not going to die from it. If he broke up with you this is definitely harder. This is initial jealousy and missing him. If you were together for a long time then it makes sense why you're still obsessing.
Though if you think it's more serious you can go to therapy because bad breakups have mourning periods. It's mostly an acceptance they're gone which my guess is you know.
I would say contact him but don't let your jealousy get the best of you. Even if he's moved on with someone else, that makes you much closer to moving on yourself. Ask yourself though, do you still love him, do you still wish to be with him? I hate to be stereotypical, but facing your fears directly is a good way to overcome them; same goes with feelings.

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shameless self-bump. I contribute to so many other threads, hope someone contributes to mine

it sounds like you already know what you have to do. break the procrastination and just get going again dude. things will fall into place. even if you think you can't face the idea of finding work again, you gotta do it for your wife man. you can retire in 20 years or so if you stay on track.

OP are you traumatised by that specific type of work, or just working in general?

I have a similar situation to yours - I worked a decent-paying but high-stress job and eventually burned out. I was left with severe depression and panic attacks. I had had depression and anxiety before and was working on it, but the stress of the job made it so bad that I couldn't work at all. And yes, I felt very ashamed about it.

One of the biggest things that has helped me was learning to not be ashamed. It sounds like that may be one of your biggest stumbling blocks and reasons for your procrastination - the whole situation makes you feel so terrible that you can't bear to look at any part of it.

You burned out because you are a human being and sometimes work puts people in impossible situations. It happens. Try to forgive yourself for being human. It's hard and you may have to "re-forgive" yourself if the feelings of shame come back. But you must do it.

May I ask what kind of work you were doing?

>>16891833
Go see a therapist.

>>16891840
I did. The grief is not eating me up from the inside anymore (lost 3kg in 2 weeks through lack of eating) but the grief is still there.

I feel so mad about how unfair what happened to her was

>>16891833
You were too young at the time to properly grieve. This means you're going to have to deal with it now, or you'll spend the rest of your life haunted by the things you saw.

>>16891840
Anon is right, find a professional and work out the things on your mind. It'll do you a hell of a lot of good. I suffered a bereavement at a young age and it took me >20 years before I tried to deal with it.

>>16891826
No it is deudly poison

>>16891826
Yep. I've taken pills from packs that have accidentally split in my bag or whatever, and I've never had any problems

>>16891819
Go to professional courses. Learning language like mandarin on your own and through web is a terrible idea. Internet can help but it cannot be your main teacher. Good irl teacher is absolutely essential.

>source: learned mandarin for almost two years

>>16891835

I would go. But i don't work and i can't ask for my parents to pay (it's quite the money for us) because its something they view as "superficial" and not really important to invest money into. They already pay for my brother's medical school and are trying to save money for the family business (I help them with it but it doesn't really make enough to pay for more than food and other fundamental expenses).

Sorry for the rant but its just so you get the picture and can tell me if there is a chance to learn by myself... Only understanding the language would make me very happy (so I can watch games and understand the commentary)

Should I switch to an easier yet asian language such as Korean or Japanese? Which one would I be able to learn studying by myself at home 4 hours/day?

>>16891804
Your testosterone caps out on the 7th day of not fapping from what I understand. So fap once a week for maximum results. Also being hornier will give you more incentive to hit on women. Get a girl and then you can just have sex everyday and say goodbye to fapping.

I'm pretty sure there aren't any and that nofap is just a bunch of psuedoscientific bullshit and cherry-picked studies.

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>>16892034
CURIOUS HOW YOU CALL NO FAP PSEUDOSCIENCE BUT KEEP PUSHING PSYCHOLOGY

>>16891786
Dunno much about anger management, but I find that breathing deeply while removing myself from the situation for a moment (physically if possible) helps me a good deal. I also stay vigilant of when I'm starting to become upset and try stave off the anger by attempting a different approach to whatever happens to be frustrating me.

>>16891786
Poker logic for immediate issues says you should be aware of what can set you off, outside factors any given day that may make you easier to set off, and to try and counteract these issues even if it means getting out of a bad spot.

On another level, ask yourself why you get mad. For me, it is pride. This is a long term question.

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It's tough but in can be done. >>16891828 can definitely work. When I was younger I would have to just go away and be alone until I wasn't angry. Sleep usually helped, as well.

Nowadays I can usually just convince myself that exploding into a rage isn't worth it, and would only cause me unnecessary problems.

>>16891779
>In the last year we have only seen each other, like 12, maybe 15 times

is this even a relationship? sounds like a mess about. one if you clearly doesn't really give a shit.

You are essentially not in a relationship.
In reality she probably doesn't see you as her boyfriend, not that she necessarily has someone else, hence why you barely see her.
Call it quits. You have nothing, there isn't really anything to attempt to salvage here.

Ask yourself this, if you didn't contact her, at all, for a week, or for a month, would she even notice?

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>>16891799
>is this even a relationship?
This is pretty much the feeling that has been slowly festering in me. And it's not that I want someone else, but it feels not even a part of it of the mess.
>>16891806
>if you didn't contact her, at all, for a week, or for a month, would she even notice?
This is where the headache starts.
I have tried to focus on myself, but she seems to notice when I stop contacting her.
She says that she misses me, that she loves me, and that she's just very busy with a bunch of stuff, or sleep.
I believe her, but the problem is that her sweet words are slowly losing it's effect. Slowly I care less and less about her response as it always seems the same.

I brought forth my complaints again a few months back, and she responded with about the same. "I understand what you mean, I miss you too, I'll try to make time for you, don't worry, I promise. I'm sorry you feel that way."

I'll try to go silent for a while. Maybe just not care for bit, although it's near impossible for me to be dick about this.
I think part of me wants to wear her out, see if she's check out, or really just terrible at being an adult that can manage time.
I really don't want to walk away, but it's like my feet want to start stepping.

Gaiz, plz help plz

It's up to you. I think the biggest issue here is the money, so if you can afford it without it impacting you too much financially (including loans and whatnot), then I would personally go for it.

Not sure if it'll help you socialise though, seeing as you live with 20 people and still don't know anyone other than your classmates, and you're moving in with your classmates anyway