Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 5992. page

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>>16892345

are you asking for advice on how to cope with the fact that a relationship never happened?

by coping. there is no magical cheat code. you arent even asking for advice when you say 'how do i cope' you are just looking for an excuse to whine.

>how do i prevent oneitis

its not oneitis if it happens more than once mate.

>>16892433
I don't think oneitis means a fixation on one person for your entire life...

I dunno OP, maybe you're just a kind of empathic person, but i think you're normal. I'm a male and i've sometimes shed tears when i heard songs about stuff that i found emotional (war songs, songs about young people dying tragically etc.).

>>16892261
There are several sects of Christianity which don't teach contrary to evolution. For instance, the Catholic churches (Roman Catholic, Eastern Orthodox, etc). Those all teach that the bible is not literally true as a single narrative.

The bible must be viewed as a complex collection of documents of varying intent. That is true even if you aren't religious, as biblical criticism (the secular field of history and literature re: the bible) understands it was written in bits by dozens of people, for dozens of reasons. Think of it like an anthology, not a police report. The older churches all understood this when they assembled it. It was only way, way later that certain protestants began imposing literal and uniform meaning on the thing.

Biblical literalism is an eccentric heresy, which teaches that the institutions which assembled the thing have no ability to interpret it.

I'm not necessarily a Christian, but I've always considered religious texts to be more metaphorical than literal.

If you want to put a label on it, this sort of situation would be known as cognitive dissonance.

>>16892261

most christians just internalize the difference.

many parts of the bible were proven wrong. do you ignore that? nah. the bible has been written, and rewritten and and then hand picked from a large variety, then handed off to whoever ruled at the time to make changes as they saw fit.

the fact that there are thousands of other religions, some not so different, some vastly so, is an indicator that the bible isn't infalliable.

believe in a higher power. no reason not to. but as far as christianity goes, use the bible as a personal tool to help define your relationship with the lord, not as a word of god law. most of the stories in there are not much different than fairy tales. they are meant to teach you lessons. whether or not they actually happened is largely irrelevant. and what it claims is open to large interpretation. they said god made the world ina day. science says no.

but there's that big cliche of 'what is a day to a god?' could god have spent billions of years creating the world, and that was a day to him? the bible has so many ins and outs, that evolution doesn't even begin to scratch the surface of what could be considered 'flaws' within the bible. but literally no one in america is living in any sort of accordance with the bible. its damn near impossible to.

so again, use it as a tool to help define your personal relationship with god. ask for wisdom and you might at the very least find rationalizations. and dont let the words of men in a book confuse you.

>>16892244
Get new friends, duh. This shit ALWAYS happens in college. You fucked up by believing early 2000s movies about friends being friends forever after high school.

College is about meeting new people, making new bros and having fun. You're not doing any of that. So get started on it. Join clubs, attend any and every event on campus, talk up bros at the gym. Girls come later when you have a new circle of interests and friends who will bring all of the girls they have.

Stop being a pansy and make some friends.

>>16892250
>>16892253
I have friends from my club sport, but we dont hang out that much unless we smoke weed. I can't even go to the formal this Friday because I have no date...

A girl can talk to you every second, and still not wanna be with you. Likewise, a girl can speak to you never, and wanna be with you. There is NO black and white.

Ask her out. That's the only way. Don't be so fucking afraid of failure. You're limiting yourself.

>>16892225
Ask her out you dumb frogposter.

How can you overthink this so FUCKING HARD.

>>16892235
Your right anon, I'll man the fuck up and ask her later today

>>16892178
Try lifting the feels away.

>>16892178

awww nigga this is so pathetic but i just want to wrap my arms around you, give you a beer and play some nintendo.

it hurts, but you'll get over it. but what you said boils down to this
>one girl ended her relationsihp with me
>so now i want to kill myself

you dont. you are sad. but like all sadness it fades. things change. she becomes a long term memory and you are no longer hurt thinking about her. not like this at least.

you go on and meet another girl. i know thats not what anyone wants to hear. it doesn't help. but you'll at least understand it when the time comes. this girl will become a distant memory. if i had to guess you werent even dating her very long.

as for being attractive, you were attractive enough to get her, with some help of whatever else you had going for you. being so attractive that no one will ever leave you isn't a thing. even super models break up. you want someone to be with you for the whole package, not just a face. and despite how whiny you are, im going to guess there is a bit more to you than meets the eye. otherwise why would she take interest in you.

grab a beer. pat yourself on the back. you did something that 99% of the assholes on this website dream of. you scored someone hotter than you cuz they saw something else inside. just do that again. rinse, then repeat.

Two years from now, you won't even give a shit.

>>16892145

time is never truly wasted, and by your own account there is nothing to reclaim, simply to start claiming.

you dated a girl, had sex, presumably had a good time, and then things went south. thats how ALL relationships go. it does not make relationships useless, pointless, or wasted time. it is their nature, and its the reason we have them. at the very least you can say 'i enjoyed my time with her, but then i learned from it'. thats what you have to take from everything.

all that being said, if you want to be more productive, the first thing you got to do is know what you want.

sit down, make a list, and make a schedule. dont start that schedule tomorrow. the first step is taken today.

also dont smoke weed anymore.

>>16892145
>I'm too passive, what do I do?
I'm essentially going to reiterate what >>16892182 wrote: figure out what your goals are (they don't have to be deep, they don't even have to be long term) and then act to achieve those.

It's simple, but it means you have to decide you're going to go after what you want. You don't need to spend a lot of time regretting the past. Make up for it by working and making effort now.

>>16892145
Stop smoking weed, first of all. Its very purpose is to make you passive, so it's not wonder stoner dipshits always turn out the same way.

What do you actually want? What's your plan? You need to bring some order into your life and your relationships, so start by not being a passive bitch to yourself. Get in shape, pull your shoulders back, get some shoes with some arch support.

You haven't wasted time at all. Those two years have given you the experiences that prompted you to change. This is the bit where you make that change.

>>16892101
>Can I get a straight to the point explanation of what I'm supposed to eat a day to survive and be in good shape?

Read the >>>/fit/ sticky.

>>16892101
Do you feel energized? (w/o caffeine or other stimulants)
Is your weight relatively stable?

If so, you're probably eating fine based on your activity level.

Go and see a nutritionist. They can give you advice tailored to your lifestyle and can help you develop a meal plan

>>16892183
He might be fine now, but if he develops eating habits that aren't good for him later on down the track, he could run into health problems. Setting up a good diet and eating habits now isn't a bad idea.

File: lanoire_earle_1920x1080.jpg (869KB, 1920x1080px) Image search: [Google]

869KB, 1920x1080px

>>16892095
bump with L.A Noire wallpapers

>>16892095
Do call up your local PD and ask them.

Don't sign up for criminal justice classes at your local online money pit like Devry or Phoenix.

>>16892157
Thanks bro
I saw some shit on Wikihow
Looks like i need 4 years in some university idk

Call them.

>>16892041
Yes, you can get a temporary tag for this. Keep in mind that with the tag it's only legal to drive the car if you're going directly to the place to get the testing done.

You're google-fu kind of fails

https://servicearizona.com/webapp/permit3/permitInfo.do#896

>>16892015
Hold the Mode button until the alarm section comes up

>>16892015
bang fire snake against rock until fire stop

You know they make these things called instruction manuals right?

A better question is:

Has anyone ever had a relationship with anyone based purely on looks, and NOT been burned by it.

>>16892002
>I'm asking, because we're hard wired to find physically attractive mates.
Your entire premise is wrong. We're hardwired to find mates who have the best to offer us, not just physically. It includes resource-wise and generally being a good person.

>>16892002
That won't work out. A successful relationship requires mutual emotional and mental compatibility and attraction , as well as physical. 1/3rd isn't enough to cut it.

>i avoided days like 14th of february simply because there would be way too many people dating during this time and i just want a littl bit more.. private

its not the right word. its not even a right thought process. dont try and act like you were making it special when you admit to being all about the anxiety?

>i wont waste time tgiving unnecessary details
>follows up wtih 3 paragraphs of unnecessary details
>so now straight to the question (after 3 paragraphs of unnuecessary details)

lol

>do you know any possible way of seriously not fucking this shit up

depends on your definition of fucking shit up. if ur asking about a guarantee she will say yes, there isn't. if there were cheatcodes for girls everyone would know them. all this being said, id recommend just going up and asking her during the next time you see her. say

>you wanna go to XX with me?
>sure anon
>great, its a date

obviously the conversation will be a bit more... complex than that, but make sure you make it known its a date. dont ask if its a date.

if you think she actually wants to talk to you, or likes being around you (even better) try to delve into your friendship- find ways to spend time with her like if you're walking past a coffee shop you can ask her if she wants a coffee. Or you can invite her to the library or, if you think the time is right, hers or your house, then you might be on the right track for a date lol why am i talking ive had like one kiss in my life

>>16891987
>dont try and act like you were making it special when you admit to being all about the anxiety?

You're correct. It wasn't about making it special, it was about the anxiety. More specifically, I would feel uncomfortable with more people dating around, because I'd end up thinking "he did it better than me, I suck".

>[...]lol
Depends on your definition of unnecessary details. I think giving info about previous attempts, HS & social life wouldn't really matter. I just provided a little bit of background in "today's" issue rather than trying to look back. (If you do want past experiences, summarised would be me stuttering and being plainly rejected).

>you wanna go to XX with me?
Yeah, well biggest problem is that I don't know how to approach this point of the conversation, and fear of being way too direct and possibly creepy.

>>16891941
Turn your computer desk so your screen faces a corner, get one of those screen protectors that obscures your screen if viewed at an angle, and wear big, noticeable headphones.

>>16891932
Just suck it up till you're done kid.
Save that 'tude for college.

>>16891932
Youmust be 18 years of age or older to post on this webzone.

The more insignificant the degree of power people are afforded, the more they seem to let it get to their heads. You'd hope they would be more reasonable about it, but if they were that self-aware and capable then they wouldn't be the ones stuck with such lowly roles anyway.

There's also the rather popular theory that school these days is more about making obedient cogs in the machine than nurturing the growth of individuals. Given my first point, however, I'm not sure I buy the idea that these faculty and administrators are smart enough to pull off such a conspiracy. If anything, idiots tend to respect fewer rules.