Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 4973. page

Any thoughts on what I/she/we can do better? Willing to do anything at this point..

You just described my relationship with creepy accuracy. I don't have answers, but I've come to the conclusion that her behaviour is due to a combination of narcissism and anxiety over the way she's perceived.

I guess it helps a little to understand where her emotions and responses are coming from, but if you're anything like me it's not much help.

The longer it goes on the more I believe it just can't be fixed.

Sorry bro.

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>>17284949

Thanks bro, I appreciate the response.

Idk, I guess whats really affecting me the most now is shes starting to try to say its all my fault, because now I get so upset its so fucking bad to the point I end up yelling, which is apparently the reason she gets so bad. But it always starts with me pointing something out to fix it and her sounding upset or bothered or stressed. Sometimes she even apologizes now and says her throat derps when she says something with a bad tone, even though that doesn't make sense that a throat derp could make you sound normal aside from a crappy tone, right? And this keeps happening more and more and I'm buying it less and less every time.

Sorry for the rant, I'm just so frustrated and at a point where I don't know what if anything would even help or work to try. She wants ME to see a therapist for my issues I apparently have even thought this is the only reason I'm not okay! Fuck man.

Also bump for if anyone can help out with our situations.

>months pass
>I'm over it
>find out she's still talking shit
>two can play at that game
>make fun of her made up gender to a friend
>someone shows her the chat record
>SJW rage
>openly posts about it
>loopholes a statement I made to claim I'm stalking her
>I just checked her Twitter once
>I was having a bad time after break up that's all
>posts that I'm some sort of sick bastard that's gonna attack her
>says she's not safe
>I wouldn't hurt a fly I swear
>openly posts that I lied about rape story
>she has 200 followers
>a lot of people I know
>sends me message telling me to stop stalking her
>don't make fun of her made up gender
>I say ok
>also ask for her to be an adult and not do the posting she did
>she takes everything I say out of contexts
>posts it to make me look bad
>tells people about my rape stuff
>tells them I made it up
>actually ready to die
>can't do anything about it or I'll look bad
>tries to tell people I molested her
>too far
>uses it as blackmail to keep me quiet
>can't do anything about it
>it's been months
>I'm still fucked up from everything she's done to me
>thinking about it a lot rn
>think about it a lot period
>sometimes can't sleep over it
Help me robots.

Sorry about the long post, I just felt like I should explain the whole thing in detail.

I am sorry I don't have much advice to give on this but I am very sorry she did this to you. If possible, can you avoid her, women like that never seem to be worth it.

Don't do it unless there's a good chance one of you will move. Definitely do not do it across countries unless you're in Europe and can drive 45 minutes and be in a different country.

>>17284467
I had one for 5 years. We were engaged. She left me.

Don't do it. I know you still will because I was where you are now at one time. I never listened to what others said. It's likely you won't either.

Let's just say I wish I'd never met her. The long distance relationship pretty much ruined my life. It'll start affecting you mentally as well...

>long distance relationship
>relationship

Dude, you said you have never met. It's not a relationship. It's an internet crush.

>>17284464

>Get lego set from parents for christmas, don’t touch it for 4 months, suddenly get the urge to do it, Spend hours upon hours working on it for days until it’s done
>Not a big video gamer, but I play casually. If I find a game I like I will absolutely binge the fuck out of it until completion. Same sort of situation as mentioned with the TV shows
>I drink alcohol. I’m not an alcoholic by any means, and I can go weeks without drinking, but when I do drink, it’s usually impossible that I’ll have one or two. I’ll binge and have 10-15 drink (usually being that person to make a fool of themself. Blacked out heaps of times and forgotten entire nights. Crashed my car at one point drunk.
>Start pegging my clothes on the clothes line with all pink pegs jokingly. Thought it was funny. I knew deep down I had a weird obsession with it suddenly and I kept hanging my clothes out with only pink pegs.
>addicted to coffee and caffeine, mad for it

In some of those things mentioned above, they can be addictions, small obsessions or things I impulsively do. The impulsivity is one of the worst because in short bursts I can just drop a shit load of money and end up regretting it a lot. I mentioned above that I’m unemployed, and I have about $2k in the bank, while living with parents helps a lot, this doesn’t stop me from being incredibly foolish with my money. The other week I realised I needed some new joggers for exercise, so I went for a drive and dropped $120 on new shoes. Not something I can really afford, but I did it anyway. I did the same a couple of months back and dropped $350 on a nice bluetooth speaker. I could go on and on with examples but you get the idea.

Anyway, this is not a issue I take lightly. It’s been a problem for years. But on top of that the addictive nature of the internet has made me lose interest in many other hobbies. I don’t even read anymore, and I struggle to even focus on large paragraphs for even a few seconds. Not for my lack of attention span, I just lose interest. It’s like my mind is always racing. It has often interfered with my sleep at night.

tl;dr additive, impulsive personality, don’t know what to do.

P.S. Diagnosed with depression a couple of years back. Don’t know if that helps. Not on any medication or anything though.

Anyway, I've said as much of what I feel is important. If anyone else has any similar experiences I'd love to hear from you.

Anyone?

What to you aim to achieve by persuing some form of relationship with her? Do you truely aim to destroy her relationship with her boyfriend for some thing you consider "childish". OP I mean this in the nicest way possible find someone else you're only 23 and there are so many more opportunities for you to meet someone who you can connect with more intimately; especially considering the conversation you described. It's really not much to go on considering what I think your proposing

>>17285083
I guess you're right anon

>>17284425
No, it means you don't like crowds or parties.

Fuck no. In my opinion it's the betas who need to interact and socialize. Like they'll fucking die if they don't get the interactions they so desperately seem to need. Sad really. I try to seclude myself but people won't leave me the fuck alone and let me relax. People NEED some alone time. Not to be flooded with attention.

No, but asking this question does.

Don't give a fuck. Remind then that people get fetish phases sometimes and bring up some of the crazy shit they were into. Had a friend who has a thing for midgets, then later pregnant chicks. Then another friend who got into pregnant chicks.

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Thank you and you have made me feel so much better

lmao fish fucker

>>17284302
I wouldn't, haha speaking of which I drunk like 7 or more shots of vodka and took 50mg of Chlordiazepoxide

>>17284302
You should keep more beer until you feel relaxed instead of a pill. What kind of "sleeping pill" is it? This is important.

>>17284302
Don't if it's Ambien. That shit fucks you up (from personal experience and the experiences of others. You will see shit, beer or no beer, and not in a fun way).

>>17284285
I have a degree in psychology yet I work as an accountant because I'm good at math.

Does that answer your question?

>>17284303
Thanks for replying. This tells me that demand is high enough that they are hiring non-accounting majors. Is your job title accountant? Or are you a bookkeeper? Do you enjoy the work?

>>17284311
>demand is high enough that they are hiring non-accounting majors.
Hasn't seen it that way, good point.

>Is your job title accountant?
I live in a spanish-speaking country but my job title is auditor.

>Or are you a bookkeeper?
I've no idea what you mean by bookkeeper, but what I basically do is to review all the money movements made during the day and make sure nobody fucked anything up, in case they did I have to figure out what was it they fucked up, how to fix it and to let them know so we can prevent it from happening again.

>Do you enjoy the work?
Short answer: Yes.

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>>17284193
They probably have payroll records or something, unless it is a franchise, and not corporate owned.

If you are scared, fess up and say that you worked there before, and smoke them by saying you had to qiut because someone was sick or moved away or something like that

They will probably appreciate the experience in the store already, and may actually end up helping you

>>17284204
I was thinking of coming clean in the interview and telling them about it, Im not sure though because the manager that i talked to on the phone about the interview sounded kind of mean and prudish. I might try this though, might as well anyway

>>17284218
You never know until you look at him face to face

You can say that you didn't write it down because it was a bad time in your life and wasn't thinking - that's why you had to quit in the first place

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>He tells me that he needs me to do him a favor
>He wants me to get a rock and throw it through his window as he drives my truck
>Tell him fuck no and that's absolutely a bad idea
>He keeps telling me to just do this for him
>Tell him it will not solve anything but honestly am pretty scared at this point
>Agree and he finds a rock in the park
>We go back to the end of the street and I'm hesitating to go over there and throw it telling him how it's a bad fucking idea
>Finally G, my friend's gf, and another girl come out and get into his car
>I gtfo because I don't want them to see us
>Keep driving and he is still just absolutely freaking out
>He keeps telling me he wants to die
>Asks me what happens if he drinks bleach
>"Well you die. That's it."
>He keeps telling me to let him out and that he needs to get air
>I stop at a school that is closed for summer
>He manages to climb the fence and get atop the building
>Follow him
>He asks me what would happen if he fell
>"You would be paralyzed, it's only like 15 ft"
>I grab him and sit him down with me along the wall of the building, so we're still on top but not near the edge
>I start telling him that I've been in depression and I know what he is feeling
>Start crying myself because all that pain comes back to me
>I start fucking sobbing remembering what that shit was like
>I told him that I'm sorry and I don't wish that on anyone
>Tell him that the only way I got through was through God

Cont.

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>He eventually gets down and starts looking around everywhere
>Ask him what he's doing
>Tells me he's looking for something to stab himself with
>I tell him no
>He then starts crying and that he just wants to go to sleep and not feel anything anymore
>He's tired of everything he's just so tired
>Tells me to beat the shit out of him
>I offer to punch him and knock him out but I won't beat the shit out of him
>Eventually get him in the car and we start driving
>He starts to calm down as he;s is texting his gf asking wtf what she doing etc
>She tells him that they were going out to eat and she was with G and that other girl
>After a while he cols down and starts realizing that he overreacted
>Tell him that he has a serious problem and needs to get help
>He says he's been going to therapy, but it's clearly not working
>Tell him that I got through my journey through God, and that is what will help him
>He is receptive, but is focused on other things
>Finally take him home

Fast forward to today

>He calls me and tells me that I need to be with him a lot more, I'm his best friend and he needs me to keep him occupied in case he gets thoughts to do stupid shit(Beat the fuck out of someone or himself)
>Tells me that whenever his mom leaves he always gets the urge to stab himself and shit
>Tell him that he needs to get help and if he wants I can help him with that
>Tell him even though I have experience with this, this is far bigger than anything I've ever dealt with and he needs professional help
>Tell him calling 911 isn't a bad idea, there is no shame in it
>Keeps telling me that he scheduled an appointment with his therapist and just needs me to be there for him
>Tell him I will but I'm worried about him
>He tells me to just hangout with him tomorrow

What the fuck do I do? I've had experience with suicidal thoughts(1-2 max) but he has an URGE, whenever he is alone.

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I should mention that in his big argumentswith his gf, he's punched her. In the leg. but really fucking hard where she started crying and shit. He told me that he didn't mean it and that he just got really mad.

I was honestly fucking scared yesterday, and I think he truly is a danger to himself. What the fuck do I do?

I don't want to call 911 on him, I feel like that would make me a snitch, like I'm ratting him out. But he needs professional help.

Is there anywhere where I can take him so that he can get some help?

>>17284160
You're a fucking kid.

What have you got to worry about?

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>>17284162
i gotta worry about a girl finna fug my booty desu family member

>>17284162
Did you even read the thread you shit for brains? I'm talking about being stressed at all parts of life no matter how well off you are. Of fucking course when you look back to when you were a kid you realize how trivial that shit was but the stress is still there albeit on different parts of life.

>>17284156
dis ho retarted

>>17284156
GO GO GO!

You have to ask her out dude! What's she going to say no? then oh well so what fuck her move on.

Do it one on one like in the parking lot or something. Call her out! say "what are you copying me" or something in the moment like that, like " i see you parking next to me" just keep the dialogue going

>>17284156
For the drink thing, she was trying to get you to start a conversation with her. She's trying to get you to talk to her and maybe she just doesn't know how the hell to confront someone she has feelings for.

Or she's psychotic. Can't tell.

>>17284141
kill him its the only way

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>>17284141
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MSrTnWDTdwI

Bitch you trippin nigga just tryna get dey dick wet shieeeeeeeeeeeeeet

Bait. Report and move along!

Saying it and believing it are opposite ends of the fucking spectrum, friendo.

>>17284128
Well, I get that but isn't that the point of saying these everyday to yourself? You eventually start to believe it, isn't that the premise beyond Cognitive Therapy? Changing what you believe, you eventually will believe it if you keep saying it, also if you really want to improve and be happy then I think you'd believe anything.

That's just what I think

>>17284128
That's true, but more than likely if OP says these things frequently enough and for a long enough period of time, he will be more likely to believe the statements.

I'm just saying it could work, and there can't be any harm in trying, so go for it OP, let us know how it works, but I'd say try it for at least a month before you give up, training your brain to think certain things can take awhile.