Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 4716. page

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>>17342200
Ex smoker and ex fatty here.

First off, you can't change everything at once. Doing that will overload your willpower and you will relapse right away. If you have a lot of unhealthy habits, focus on getting rid of one. Once you train yourself to get rid of one addiction or bad habit, it will be easier to get rid of the others.

I personally started with quitting smoking. I spent a year focusing on not smoking, ever. If I wanted to smoke, I either worked out, played video games, or just went to sleep. It was fucking hell for about 2 months, and then it got easy. After a year, I had no desire to smoke anymore. One down.

Losing weight was much harder. I tried and failed several times while I was still a smoker, but after I quit smoking, I also failed a lot. What helped me, though, was knowing that if I could quit smoking, I could also figure out a way to lose weight. The solution was fairly simple, I got a gym buddy. A year later, the weight wasn't a problem and I had decent - not perfect, but decent - eating habits.

I still watch porn and play too many video games, but those are next on my list. The simple fact of the matter is, you can't tackle everything at once. If you try to, you WILL relapse. It's been proven over and over again. Take it one vice at a time, one day at a time, and you will eventually make it.

You can do it, anon. You just have to start today.

Here's glare of death fitness trainer to motivate you.

>>17342200
Doing them all that once is a huge mountain to climb. Some people like to knock everything out cold turkey, and sometime's that's appropriate, but it's not sustainable for everyone.

When I first broke through NEETdom and being a fat shit, the first thing that got the ball rolling was being in the habit of exercising 3x a week. Then I got into dieting (i.e. refraining from overeating), and then I started losing weight and getting fit. From there, I felt less anxiety and depression and started getting more ambitious and got a job. It's a snowball effect, and I think you have to start with the most concrete thing that builds the rest of your good habits up.

It's definitely easier to stick to a good habit than it is to abstain from a bad one, but the nice thing is that the former reinforces the latter.

Here's what I would do if I were you:
Resolve to quit vidya, porn, and social media (e.g. 4chan, reddit, fb, etc.) until winter. Ideally indefinitely but just focus on the next few months as a pact to yourself. Spend the summer doing other things, building other habits. The cravings get strongest over the first week or so but subside afterwards. For whatever reason, the internet things are the biggest time sinks. If you can ignore them, jack off manually, play board games with friends, etc. it'll already improve your situation.

Pick up a positive habit. You say you can't get a gym but you can still exercise outdoors for free. Try C25K. Force yourself to progress through a program of progressive difficulty. This is the real life equivalent of leveling up and I swear it will make you feel more capable than you ever thought possible. Exercising in general calms your mind and evens out your body chemistry.

Once you've done these, and established a foundation of good habits, then tackle quitting smoking. IMO it's the hardest task before you, and the one that's going to ask the most of your brain chemistry/willpower. I would save that for last.

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>>17342396
>cont.

Overall: successful recovery relies on a combination of reinforcing good habits and eschewing bad habits. One takes motivation, the other takes willpower, but the nice thing is that each reinforces and rewards the other. I encourage you to pursue these things, and not to quit when you meet temporary failure. Pic related is a little hallmark-y but very, very relevant.

Nightclubs.

literally everywhere. you know when a woman comes up to a guy and randomly starts talking about some shit? half the time she wants his dick. the other half she is just an annoying extrovert.

if you don't have women checking you out and giving your clear signals then that sucks for you man. sorry but there isn't uch else i can say. you'll have to stick with traditional mellenial bullshit.

the majority of the women i've fucked i've met in public. i don't find it weird or uncommon at all for women to talk to me in the street too.

>>17342166
What's wrong with Tinder? Is the problem that you're under 18?

You go out there to say goodbye to them, nothing turns a chick on more than seeing a guy doing stupid/risky stuff for them

>>17342172
Only that or more ?
Should I try to arrange a meeting for our country? All work is finished for the summer so she shouldn't be working

Really dude?

Ask her for her phone number, facebook, snapchat, or whatever you use the most

You little girl.
All guys want is to feel like they're wanted sexually.
Modern gender dynamics mean that women are a prize to earn.
To have an attractive woman give them something without having needing to earn it is amazing.

So if you're making out, escalate it before he does.
Be the aggressor.

They exist in physical proximity to you.

>>17342182

True, to an extent.

It's just like with anything else in life - if it comes too easily then you stop appreciating it as much. A little bit of mystery, taboo, and chasing makes it more interesting (for both parties).

i.e. For the girl it's more interesting if it seems like the guy really desires her and wants her so she might pull back a little. At the same time, she might also wear something a bit more risque and flirt/entice more.

As a dude, I know that I definitely get harder if my girl is teasing me instead of just grabbing at my dick and saying "Let's hump :D" I mean, it's nice to get that signal and that clarity, but if it happens constantly it just becomes something... ordinary?

It doesn't even have to be a whole song and dance, it comes out even in simple actions. Like if she's going to suck my cock, slow and gradual ramping up (a bit of teasing first, brushing the tip of my dick with her fingers and then just light, teasing licks) feels way better than if she just drops my pants and guzzles my dick right from the get-go.

>>17342143
Fight them both

>>17342143
>What can I do?
Nothing.

Friend A made a shitty remark, possibly in jest, but what Friend B did is fucking insane. At no point does anyone have the right to physically harm another person over words.

>What can I do?
Nothing. Friend groups split for smaller reasons and they both sound pretty shitty.

>How could two fundamentally different people even be friends for so long?
Nostalgia, history, etc. People grow apart though.

>>17342161
>nothing
I guess so. Just sucks, you know? all 3 of us always hung out and now it's all gone to shit for what I think is a pretty stupid reason. I know friend A likes to say whatever comes to his mind but friend B acted very unusually angry. I just don't want to split time between both of them; my job is enough work for me.

is anybody mad about this? bump.

>>17342137
I don't think anybody cares. I'm a male and doing the same thing, but for slightly different reasons. Good luck.

>>17342134
I'm only mad that you spelled whether wrong, twice, you illiterate fuck

>>17342125
>Anyways are there many options for work in NYC?
Sure. But good luck paying the bills.

NYC is one of the most expensive cities in the world, for one, and is smack inside an authoritarian, neo-liberal plutocracy.

You won't make ends meet. NYC is too expensive, and in the US, there is no way to climb up the social ladder, because of neo-liberal economical politics.

Stay in Canada where things are less scary and actually democratic.

>>17342125
sounds like she wants some new york dick.

>>17342115
Grow a connection with someone or something where you truly love it and watch a force you can't control hurt it.

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>>17342115
That sounds awful

>>17342115
well I am a sensitive guy and you have to become more emotional if you want to become sensitive. I think all the years of depression just made me more emotional.

>>17342069
Wether you accept it or not, it's happening. She move on and so should you. Instead of pondering her happiness, you should go make yourself happy.

That's a hard thing to accept. The feeling will last for a while. Try thinking about it differently. Don't think about the fact someone else is making her happy. If she truly was your best friend then you should be happy for the fact that she is happy, rather than dwelling on the cause of it.
Or if you had a shit break up and aren't friends and hate her guts then why the fuck are you even thinking about her still

>>17342075
The breakup was very mutual, I didn't get these feelings until she started dating someone else

What do you need help with?

>>17342060
The location of the nearest psychiatric ward.

>>17342060
I need help to learn how to get the proof from his comp. I know you don't know me but then maybe you could at least direct me to a book who will teach me how to do it all by myself. Please, I should've stayed up to date, but I know this is so corrupt and involves so many. Please help me, in any limited way you can.

>>17342033
In regards to how I'd be needy, I'm not sure how to explain in actions or examples, but I would be way more invested in her than she would be me. When She'd go a mile for me, I'd go ten. I'd always be all over her. Showing more affection than she'd show me. Always want to talk and show her love, even when there was nothing to say. Always want to see her, take our relationship a step further. Want her affection. Stuff like that I guess.

you're literally me OP

god

>>17342040
>I'm not sure how to explain in actions or examples
Has she told you outright when you're being too needy and why? Think of those times. If you can't, and she's the only person you've been with, all I can say is that she may be the one with issues. There are many girls out there that absolutely love being pampered and even come to expect it. But there are some people out there that prefer the mind games of the "push and pull" which isn't healthy for a long-term relationship. You're expected to pull just long enough to help her out in some way, but you immediately have to turn your emotions off and push her away to keep her drawn in. I don't think she genuinely cared about you.

Now, if you act out because you have unrealistic expectations about how she should treat you in certain situations, that's something that you could definitely improve upon.

Customers made me nervous for maybe the first month I worked.
It goes away. Now I hope they fucking choke on their waffle fries. Fucking fat pigs. Oink Oink!

>>17342117
Not for me. Been working in customer service for two years now. First a typical shitty fast food job and now at a hotel.

>>17342022
Many companies would have a policy of offering her an apology payment when they screw up. Telling her that when the money goes into her account there will be an extra $40 for her inconvenience will make her happy and you less sad. Or arrange for some immediate credit at her hotel.

This isn't YOUR job, and doesn't come from your pocket. But ask your boss if it is company policy and how to offer it.

>>17342013
I worked a job earlier this year. Was a lab job.

They had the best fucking perks. They had a problem with too much employee retention; fuckers wouldn't retire.
When I got there all my coworkers were over 45. Some pushing 60.
They were all shit workers because they've been there 20+ years.

Bitching aside, the administration did some good shit.
The baseline is "paid days off".
That's it.
That's the end all be all.

All the other perks are secondary. Free breakfast is nice but no one really cares. It's like finding a dollar on the ground.
It's nice, but it's just a happenstance type stuff.

Paid days off? Fuck, you divert yourself for that.

In the summer, they had a 4 day work week, with Friday's being paid days off.
That's the biggest thing.

You offer workers a whole paid day off, you got shit there.

I know it's expensive as fuck, but you try to make it like twice a year or something, and some will stay.

Alternatively, maybe your job just sucks.

>>17342028
You know, this is exactly the fucking problem and I didn't hit me until I read this even though it was right in front of my face. These guys get a shit ton of PTO but none of it can be used in the summer because the entire industry is slammed and everyone works at least 12 hrs a day six days a week sometimes on call the 7th. My boss and I are the type of idiots that think everyone loves overtime money so it never occurred to me that dudes are just burning out. I'm thinking maybe hiring temporary new guys right before next summer and training them before the busy season hits might help give our guys normal weekends. I'll run it by him on monday, thanks annon!

>>17342057
>12 hours a day
>6 days a week
Jesus Fuck, there are some numbers you could pay me to do that but it'd have to be really fucking high.
Like a grand a day type of shit.

Yeah, summer is hard, but fuck you gotta let people at least be a person.
Those types of shifts have people coming off work, going home, sleeping, and then waking up to go to work.
No surprise people quit.

I think you got the right idea.
Make it 5 days a week and 8 hours and you can have people forever.
Anything more and you have a high chance of "Fuck this, I want a job, not a lifestyle"

>>17341986
Or maybe he is, you know, busy.
The world doesn't resolve around you. Perhaps he has personal problems: Sometime such in his family, money difficulties, death of a relative,...
And maybe, just maybe, that's why he is not talking much to anyone

>>17341986
You haven't reach friendship high enough to unlock that response.

>>17341986
Whatever you do don't push yourself to spend time to him. Let him take the initiative.
Ask him if there's anything you could help him with and ask for small favor just to spend some time together, but under any circumstance go straight and tell him that you are interested on him, it probably would just push him away.
Once you feel he trust you enough to talk to you about personal stuff, that's the right time you are interested in being something more than just friends with him.

that's decalcification
it's not black it's translucent

my dentist told me

Go to the dentist.

My girlfriend is a dentist (so take this with a grain of salt, because I usually switch off when she's talking about this shit), and from what I understand when a tooth gets dark patches it's getting caries / tooth decay.

Impossible to tell you 100% without an x-ray of your mouth, but it's probably a good idea to get it checked out.

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Stay the fuck away from me