Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1184. page

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It blew my mind to realize today that every person you see exists because someone fucked

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I know this exact feeling. It seems so insane that people do something like that on a regular basis. If anybody knew I was a virgin I know they'd start treating me like an innocent little kid, too. It's happened before, people doing baby talk to me and saying VIRGIN! in a loud voice and grinning. That was when I was 19, so I can't even fucking imagine how bad it would be now.
Whatever, I lost my one and only chance to experience it when I broke my dick 10 months ago.

>>38907632
artificial insemination
originaligoobloobloo

Yeah, I enjoyed watching it

>>38907547
Started out good but it slowly turned into garbage.

>>38907547
I don't think I've ever seen such a one-season-wonder in my entire life.

It will turn from gold to shit right in front of your eyes.

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here's another one that I did

these are genuinely wonderful, I really like the second one. very melancholy style

These are beautiful. I can see your pain in them.

Had a similar sort of dream/nightmare as a kid.

I would be seated on an empty plane (middle seat, aisle) and the aisles would stretch endlessly. I would never wake up crying, but I would always wake up in a cold sweat

>>38907464
I know that sometimes, if I wasn't feeling good, I'd lie awake in my bed and suddenly I'd get an excruciating sense of perspective. It was horrifying, like if the walls of the bedroom fell off and suddenly you were confronted with the pure hopelessness of the void, except you could still see everything. Just typing this now is making me short of breath a little.

>>38907464
I remember having breakdowns thinking about that sort of thing. No fun, man.

>>38907435
>unlock your inner chad
>make normies jealous
>become good at something
>E N D O R P H I N S

Since I quit WoW in 2010 I've had nothing else to fill my time with besides lifting.

you dont do it every day you do it 3 days a week because your body needs to recover strength in days between workouts. 4 days if you can handle it. the diet is the most annoying part because youre constantly counting calories

THERE IS NO OLD FIRM

>>38907363
That's fucking awesome. Reminds me that I should try to wear my CPAP mask all the way through the night, but it's just damn uncomfortable

I only just heard Free Bird all the way through like two days ago and it was cool as hell, been on repeat since. It's funny, if it weren't for Family Guy doing that Kingsman scene I wouldn't have felt the urge to.

I also started playing guitar, which wasn't really related at all but I thought was neat. Johnny Cash's Hurt is actually really simple to play, but I can't switch to that damn D chord quick enough.

>>38907410
ditch the guitar, buy this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jh-hzbG5FzI

Hmm Are you even allowed here anymore?

Ask Reddit. What do we know about relationships.

Do you get any sort of sexual satisfaction from being beaten?

No one here cares if you want (yous) go to reddit and you will get a bunch of "U DIDDIN DO NUFFINS" "YOU DONT NEED NO MAN"

sage in all fields black eye roast-ey

>>38907313
>she wants to take a break
>feel so good, I decide to take her dog for the walk
>her boyfriend was out of town, so no-one has been able to give her a walk
>big pitbull, eats like a king, and super aggressive towards other dogs
>has literally jumped my grammy's fence, to chase down a stray
>literally ate the fucking dog
>so I'm walking right, she's just pulling me along
>stumble across other dog walkers
>bitch starts pulling
>and I'm high as fuck, felt like I was walking on clouds I was so damn high
>luckily she has a collar that chokes the dog if it pulls too hard
>get home, get paid in oxys and a soma pill

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>>38907400
>pop all the pills at same time
>smoke a bowl
>figure jerking off would feel great under opiate sedation
>end up on r9k
I've spent over 30 minutes writing these 3 posts lmfao this shit is so wonderful
I feel so amazing, and I'm getting some nice CEVs

Congrats, you approaching a slippery slope.

Fucking moron, seriously.

so you're assuming i'm a man? ~ruth

I could just go to a brothel if I was that desperate but I'm not since I'm an asexual.

Actually you'll never not do that, because 99% of people have sex and 99% of people who have had sex have more sex.

>>38907282
>>>/lgbt/

wrong board, L A D

gay people are doomed because the government created diseases that will kill them overtime. Watch the space ~demarai

tfw no 2/10 - 4/10 NEET bf to get drunk and watch movies or play video games with.

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>>38907267
>Autistic
>People

Bhoose one, Nibba

>>38907311
>nibba
>ironic emojis
>whomst'd've

holy fuck UNDERAGE

>>38907311
This image is me as fuck

>>38907248

People have no excuse:

>Be me, mid 30s geek. Just started working out, but still roundish.
>Make profile, talk about geek stuff, talk about lifting. Show lots of pictures.
>Day 1 and 2, hit "like" on every profile. Not even looking at them.
>End of Day 2 and into Day 3, matches and messages start pouring in. Buy a bluetooth keyboard because my thumbs are getting sore texting.
>Last night, get message from qt chubster geek chick. Chat for an hour, then invite her out for a drink. Totally a throw away invite, I have no idea what I'm doing.
>Holy shit she accepts. Okay, gotta pretend I know what a guy does in a bar.
>Get there, have a drink, lots of geek talk.
>Go for a walk after the bar, grab a bench, make out.
>Lots of touching, feelsgoodman.
>Put my hand on her neck. "Mmmmm"
>Squeeze my hand. "MMMMMM"
>Ohshitnigger
>Turns out the chubster geek chick is a freaky sub slut.
>Get back to mine.
>Bang twice last night.
>Wake up this morning hard as a rock.
>She takes care of that.
>Twice.
>Send her home, promise to meet up more.

>>38907248
>be me
>ugly skelly
>zero confidence
>little motivation to go after girls
>settle for vidya and pr0n

>>38907341
good for you, unless you find the 1 in a 1000 perfect girl for you women are just a waste of time and money. People here idolize relationships because it looks cute and fun in their animes in the real world unless you find the love of your life they're very tiresome and get old quickly

You're thinking of God. There is no doubt that Jesus existed.

>>38907251
Sit down faggot, there's a lot of doubt that Jesus existed. The fact that nearly every part of his "history" is identifiably similar to creation myths for other gods in the same time and place kind of makes it a little doubtful.

>>38907251
>There is no doubt that Jesus existed
yes, there is no doubt that Sam existed either. Pretty sure some family named their kid Sam once.

what a profound belief, friendo

Wagecucks have a hard life. Neetfriends should spend their time fighting normies rather than bullying those less fortunate than them.

SHUT UP SHUT UP STOP REMINDING ME SHUT UPPPPPP YOURE WRONG I'M HAPPY I LOVE MY JOB SHUT UP JUST STOP

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>>38907921
Remember to freshen up on all those marketing skills. You've got premium rewards memberships to sell tomorrow, wagie, and Mr. Shekelstein is none too happy that you fell under quota last month.

I am in love too, I think. But it is one-sided as usual. Need to stop being in love. Wikihow link, please.

I wanted to add I don't know if she loves me back, but having the first person ever to be close to me and care is enough. I love her for accepting me. This feeling is the best.

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>>38907216
How do you know it is one sided?