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Fembots, tell us about your first crush in great detail.
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>>38923984
From way back? The earliest I can remember was maybe kindergarten or first grade, some boy I don't know why I liked, I probably just can't remember
Nothing ever came of it, I remember his name was Johnathan though
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stop making threads about "fembots" you thirsty fucking loser
die
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tfw you were never any fembots crush
Damn lads. feeling too tired to do anything today.
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>had wavy THICC hair during my teenage years
>now at 25 it's so thin i actually think that i'm going bald
i-i don't have a nice skull shape for the bald look, also i have dumbo ears.
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>25 years old
>feel like I'm way, way older than that
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Just joined the club. What do I get?
>trying not to cry as your loving family sings, oblivious to how sad you are inside
Anonymous
tfw you will never have an all-female-virgin bodyguard squad like Muammar Gaddafi 2017-08-08 12:18:56 Post No.38923911
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tfw you will never have an all-female-virgin bodyguard squad like Muammar Gaddafi 2017-08-08 12:18:56 Post No.38923911
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tfw you will never have an all-female-virgin bodyguard squad like Muammar Gaddafi
Anonymous
2017-08-08 12:18:56
Post No. 38923911
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An all-female elite cadre of bodyguards officially known as "The Revolutionary Nuns" was tasked with protecting the late, former leader of Libya, Muammar Gaddafi.
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Candidates underwent extensive firearms and martial arts training at a special academy, were required to take an oath of chastity, and had to have been hand-picked by Gaddafi himself. Members of this bodyguard were allowed privileges such as dressing in Western-style fatigues and wearing makeup, or displaying Western hair styles and high heels.
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So what you're saying is, women suck as bodyguards? That's what I'm getting from your post.
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>>38923950
Maybe but I bet it was awesome while it lasted.
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what kind of alcohol do you robots drink?
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>>38923907
Mike's Harder strawberry lemonade, or just straight vodka.
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Colt 45 because I hate myself
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>>38923907
i switch around cause i get bored but lately:
vodka + apple juice, vodka in coffee, whiskey, rum and ginger beer
whatevers strong cheap, alright tasting and isnt too bad on the heartburn
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To males, do you guys like it when girls cook stuff for you? reeee all I want is a bf to bake and cook for I have so many things I want to make but no one to give them to with the love in my heart reeeeeee please let me be your gf who will fatten you up
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I'd like it if a gril cooked for me
I eat too much fast food because I'm too lazy/tired from work to bother cooking.
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Roleplaying isn't healthy.
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>>38923900
The fuck outta here roastie, we all know you're gonna end up with some Chad. Stop pretending to be a good person I see through your bullshit,
That is if you're even a woman and not a LARPing faggot.
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>tfw mom chooses her chad bf over you
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>>38923892
>tfw mom chooses sister's bf over you
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>>38923892
what do you mean by this?
like she went out with him, or she kicked you out because he suggested it?
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>>38923892
that was almost my entire childhood lol
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>father stumbled upon the stress anhilation folder again
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>pupil regretted the pubic regressor
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>>38923885
>niece found the ejaculation decontamination station
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>>38923885
idolatry figure discovered the cum basilisk
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Mohamed "White Ho Down" Noor
Mohamed "See a becky spray the teky" Noor
Mohamed "John Wayne Gacey on a Stacy" Noor
Mohamed "Put a dundee six feet undee" Noor
Mohamed "Somali Stingray" Noor
Mohamed "Skinnies on the roof, becky in the ground" Noor
Is he dare i say.....our guy?
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Who is this man? Can I get a brief breakdown
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>>38923821
I really hope they don't fire this guy
He did nothing wrong
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>>38924194
>White woman calls cops because she hears people having sex and she thinks the sex might be rape
>cops answer the call
>for some unknown reason, this cop shoots and kills the woman
>calmy radios back to HQ that he shot her
>the end
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I'm no longer a khv. Held hands with a qt 3.14 during one of the freshman orientation games where your group stands in a circle and holds hands with someone across and you have to get free without letting go. She kept reclasping her hand into mind when it started getting loose, it was incredible.
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>>38923778
Congratulations, you held hands with a girl. But you're still kissless and a virgin, so enjoy being a robot for the time being.
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>>38923778
So this means you're not a virgin now? Setting that bar pretty low, man.
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>>38923778
>tfw chicks always gravitate away from me when these games happen
>end up in a clump of gross weirdos
>end up having to give a lanklet a piggyback ride while Chad gets Stacy
THOSE GAMES WERE A MISTAKE.
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Post your rooms guys
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>>38923774
I would like one timestamp please
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Boasting agin :DDDDD
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it was messier until I filled up several bins due to an about-to-get-kicked-out scare
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why are men expected to lower their standards but women are not
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Because women act like genetic selectors, is not that hard. They are are designed to always wanting the best genetic material for their eggs.
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>>38923772
Because of feminazis anon
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>>38923772
Because society is geared toward protecting female ego. That's why a fat bitch is told she shouldn't settle for less than a 10/10 because she's "perfect as she is", but a fat dude is told to get the fuck in shape or take what he can get.
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>shave my asshole with an old rusty razor yesterday
>immediately feel pain and see bumps covering my buttskin
>have trouble sitting all day today
>underwear feels damp
>feel like my ass is going to be covered in blood but don't want to check
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wipe it down with rubbing alcohol and then some peroxide
prepare for the sting
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>>38923812
>wipe it with rubbing alcohol
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Its probably sweat. I think crotch hair is meant to absorb the excess sweat and stop your skin rubbing together so much.
When you shave it off it gets really damp and easily irritated. Put some baby powder down there.
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How many of you robots live alone? How has it impacted your life?
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bumppppdapw
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me, ive always lived alone. its better. i grow pot so i dont have to worry about a fucking normie telling their friends. masturabting freely too. if you can afford it why not. other people are disgusting
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> Be mid-20s.
> Always lived with parents, never left.
> Move to my own house a few weeks ago.
I am more lonely, stressed, and depressed then I ever was before.
I'm seriously considering hanging myself in my hot water closet.
Anonymous
Diocletian gets Split in Split like the Empire 2017-08-08 12:07:45 Post No.38923699
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Diocletian gets Split in Split like the Empire 2017-08-08 12:07:45 Post No.38923699
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Diocletian gets Split in Split like the Empire
Anonymous
2017-08-08 12:07:45
Post No. 38923699
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>be diocletian
>be pagan
>christians burn down some shit, at least galerius says so
>now hate christians for worshiping semitic god and (((subverting))) my noble roman empire
>now have to kill and torture tons of treacherous christians
>protected by my ever loyal and faithful praetorian guard (secret service)
>these guys are fucking bros, love 'em to death
>gets (((infiltrated))) by (((christians)))
>some romano-syrian born in palestine in my guard says he killed a dragon
>lol dragons dont real dude
>says a whole town converted to christianity because of it
>mfw one of my personal guard is a christian
>execute this george faggot for lying about being a dragonslayer but mainly for worshiping (((a crucified man)))
>things seem to be going smoothly
>find out this dickwad sebastian in my personal guard is also a christian
>have him shot to death with arrows and thrown into the sewer
>mfw he reports for duty a few weeks later, fully recovered, apologizing for having missed work because he was injured
>stupid christcuck
>have him beaten to death
>galerius brings an army against me
>this faggot got me on the whole "muh paganism" bandwagon in the first place
>shit, galerius will fucking own me
>resign as emperor and move to Croatia
>mfw I am completely safe and untouched
>is 1065 AUC (AD 312 for christcucks)
>crypto-christcuck with (((christthot))) mother is about to become emperor over east and west
>mfw I realize that my entire (((praetorian guard))) were members of the religion galerius convinced me to genocide, and they never once shirked their duty or tried to assassinate me
>fml I'm outta here
>commit sudoku
>be ghost
>mfw cuckstantine makes christianity completely legal in 1066 AUC
>mfw when cuckstantine officially converts
>too upset by the happenings to RIP in peace
>mfw theodosius makes (((cucktianity))) the official religion of the roman empire in 1132 AUC
>should be (((roman empire))) now
>go to tartarus to find the ghost of galerius
>kick him in the colei
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and then his shade visits this da/r9k/place and the first reply is from a christcuck
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Diocletian was based af. It's a shame he didn't just outright genocide (((christians)))
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>>38923699
>Spend twenty years restoring good government to the empire
>Establish system of power sharing and succession to ensure competent leadership and avoid civil wars
>Retire to raise cabbages with the knowledge of a job well done
>Live long enough to watch it all collapse
>Maxentius just won't stop being a cunt
Truly, to be Diocletian is to suffer
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>ew who invited Anon?
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> tfw get invited into parties very regularly
> tfw I don't know why because I don't drink ever, get with girls or do any noteworthy shit
> tfw every single time I show up, everyone greets me very warmly, and then no-one talks to me for three hours until I leave
It goes like that practically every time. Every time I'm so invisible and boring I think "now I'm sure they won't invite me next time" and yet it happens. These aren't even friends, just normalos I barely know.
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>>38923636
I always get invited to hang out with people. Some people fight over my attention.
I hate it.
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>>38923833
maybe they dont notice, maybe one of the girls in the circle likes you