Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 361. page

Strap cat to dog's back so they'll be forced to bond

Dogs and cats can get used to each other if the cat is the new one because dogs will behave for your sake, but it's harder the other way around - if the cat has had a bad experience with the dog it will always remember it and not bother trying to make up.
Your best bet is to make sure he gets more well behaved and listens to commands more so you can tell him to stay put. Age also helps a lot, as even very active dogs will settle down more and more as they get older.
If it still doesn't work, just let the cat do its thing, they're usually smart enough to stay out of trouble.

>>18654459
What breed is the dog? How old is it? Has it ever lived with cats before? Some dogs have really high prey drives with cats, particularly if they're young, high-energy adults and haven't been around cats before.

My advice is to keep them separated in different rooms, give them each a blanket to get their scent on, and then swap the blankets. You can advance by kenneling the dog and getting it to smell the cat through the crate. Then you can move onto being on a leash. When you generally trust the dog to be good with the cat, it can go off-leash and supervised, then off-leash and unsupervised.

I've had an Italian Greyhound, an Akita Mix, a pit/Lab mix, and two Beagles with various cats and never had a problem, however. After learning they're good with cats, I'd skip the scent swap part, and then graduated to skipping the crate part. If the dog likes you/your roommate, you can also try getting your/his scent on the cat and it may recognize it as "part of the family". My Beagle has never shown any aggression towards the kittens I've fostered, even though she kills bunnies indiscriminately, so something must be working.

Good luck with your kitty.

Why not both? "Nice" doesn't mean you're a softy, it means you're sensitive and considerate of others. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that and it's a trait that's very desirable to women. You can be an aggressive go-getter without being an asshole about it.

>>18654457
Why would you want to be the guy that everyone hates?

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>>18654457
I've been told all the things you said other said to you, and I am that person deep down. What is so wrong with it? You generally attract nicer women who also share those qualities that you yourself have. Do you want to date women who are terrible, selfish, and so fourth? I stay far away from that pool in society, and it's huge. My only advice is to stop being a badass, realize it take a really confident man to be humble and kind to people who are not kind themselves, and so fourth.

I lift, run, have my own hobbies, am competitive, have a good healthy social circle, and I know I am a good person but would never boast about it in person. We need more good people in this world OP, don't try to be something else.

What do you need advice on?

Did you sniff the toys?

But seriously people snoop all the time, I remember one time my ex-wife telling me we needed to "sanitize" the hall bathroom because she knew, her stepsister would be snooping through our drawers and cabinets when she used it.

My advice is not to kick yourself too hard for your mistake but learn from it. If you don't want someone doing that to you then why would you do it to somebody else. Instead of feeling guilty about it just resolve not to do it again.

>/asexual
>sex toy
hmmm

Don't worry about it. Enjoy m8. A 2 year difference isn't gonna matter much in the long run. Hell, my parents are 6 years apart and they're old, fat and happy. It doesn't really matter when you get older.


TL;DR don't break up.

>>18654450
Thanks man

bumpo

Phones are shit, just text people instead.

Because no body language. We adjust ourselves to others movements. Also, on the phone, because no body, we make up for it with different vocal tones. It's just not how we're supposed to communicate. So, it can feel really weird and "off" to some people.

To improve, you should start off small. Write a script, if need be. Start off with food orders. Like a pizza. Stuff where there's little to no ambiguity and little chance of unpredictability.

You need to tell him to step out of his comfort zone. His anxiety could get worse if he doesn't fix the root it.

If he still doesn't want to, he will have to learn the hard way. At that point, there's no helping him if he doesn't want help.

Latrophobic? I know that feel...
I decided to get an appointment with my doc(where I live I gotta go to him first before getting a psychiatrist) because I'm seriously thinking about suicide because reasons... but the mere fact of going to the appointment(which is next tuesday) makes me panic.
I hope I don't bail out because... I seriously think I need help at this point.
Get him outta his comfort zone anon if he does need help then fuck comfort.

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I know your next counsel will be to join a club. I spent this afternoon looking at my school's listing of over 400 clubs and, honestly, I couldn't find one that I would like to join. The vast majority of clubs are for ethnic minorities or for women, and I'm a white male. I don't play intramural sports, I just want to have my own exercise regimen. I don't think I could overcome the anxiety to join a random social club by myself, and none have caught my eye.

I had a different idea today, though, to turn to something that I have never before: religion. I consider myself agnostic, though I was raised in a Protestant household. I dislike the Protestant Church's lax position on morality - it seems like they don't care what you do as long as you ask for forgiveness. I also don't want to associate with Protestants on my campus because I have a high school acquaintance involved with them, and, based on my interactions with him and his group, I am incompatible. Again, though I don't really believe/not believe in God, I find myself identifying with much of the conservative doctrine of the Catholic church: family, tradition, moral code above all. I am fine with being pro-life, I want to be a father one day, and I already want to wait until I love someone (probably before marriage) to have sex. I think it would be a good place to find friends and possibly a girl that would have a similar mindset.

How do I even begin to join such an organization, though? I don't know much about Catholicism beyond what I've read. I'm sure most of the people at church in college would be uber-religious and intimidating with their knowledge. How would I even go my first time? I've never been to mass. I also feel like I will be dishonestly using religion as a way meet people to interact with, since I'm not that religious. Are there any other better options for me? As you can see, I am far too introspective and brooding. I fear if I don't change something I'll not be long for this world.

I think you have some misunderstandings about both Protestantism and Catholicism. Catholics believe in the difference between mortal (greater) and venial (lesser) sin, so they certainly have some measure of laxness in morality. You can definitely find some hard line Protestants, and you can definitely find some liberal Catholics.

Also, I wouldn't really hesitate to join a church on the basis of wanting to surround yourself with others who share your moral beliefs. Entire churches exist on the foundation of trying to instill faith in others, just because you don't have any going in doesn't mean they won't accept you.

Perhaps your soul is being turned to God in a roundabout way. Definitely don't join a church just for the sake of it or for your own means - that's disrespecting people you claim to hold in regard.

I would suggest reading the bible and praying on it, so prayerfully read through the passages and linger on parts you are drawn to. I recommend starting with the Gospel of Luke. You may also wish to try simple prayers like "Lord, I believe, help my unbelief" and "God help me, a sinner".

I hope you find meaning in it but if not you will have to keep looking. Don't disrespect the church by joining it without even a hint of belief - go to God first. It may help to speak with a priest, deacon, or even monk or nun. They should be happy to speak with you as long as you are polite and genuine.

>>18654326
>She kissed a boy after spending all night after me
>WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO WITH HER

Either confess how you feel and or move on

>>18654342
By the way, a girl showing you attention doesn't mean she's interested in you. Something like her kissing someone else is a clear sign she isn't interested in you

>>18654342
Yeah but if I do I lose her as the main friend She's now
>>18654345
That is the first though, however as I said, she's uncertain. Sometimes she's completely crazy about me, but some days she acts like that and I suffer.

I don't know, man, we all kind of struggle with that. You're in the same boat as me and for one.. all I can say is trial and error. I've been trying to get out of the same old repetitive habits now for about 5 to 6 years. It depends on how much you want it. I keep failing because I'm so used to the way I am. Although things are gradually getting worse, I just find myself slowly accepting it and my reality I've chosen to live.

>>18654321
I feel that a part of me is pushing back against accepting it fully and just giving up but it's not strongest enough to stop me from being self-destructive. I've been around the ropes with trial and error here and there but a shoulder gets popped, I get tired, boredom sets in, I notice people and their glances, I think about how it'll get dirty again, I say to myself that I can do it later, a few individuals act cruelly toward me, I realize how behind I am in life, I set my eyes back on my computer and I give up, no matter what it was I set out to do. I know these are excuses but they highlight something I think, whenever I stress about anything this is how I cope, sooner or later.

However this makes it seem like the stress is the only reason I fall back to this and I don't think that's the case. I think being on the computer is fun, I like it, I like to do certain things here more than I like to do certain other things, it's what I know and it's what I love. It's how I socialize(if you can call it that), how I relieve myself emotionally, mentally or even sexually, it's how I entertain myself and it's what my life really is. That doesn't mean I accept it, I want something better and I want to become a better person but I don't know how to get myself to replace this routine of mine with something productive and stick with it until I've become balanced.

Right now it feels like I'm on the absolute extreme end of the scale and I'd really like to know at least once what it's like, firsthand, to be in the middle.

>>18654369
>it's not strongest enough
strong enough*

decade on a computer and I still can't spell check.

Lmao you done goofed up

>>18654300
Try coming up with a more believable story first.

>>18654294
Honestly it's never how it looks in the movies. Girls who go to bars are usually there with a pack of friends or with a guy who is either a boyfriend or tinder date. The handful of times I see a solo girl there will be 4-5 guys on her already.

In my experience night clubs are usually where you can meet a chick. Usually more dense. Usually a younger crowd. Usually less about the socializing and more about the drinking/music. And typically better dressed/looking women. Only downside is drinks are pricier in my experience.

>>18654294
Hell yeah it's a good place to meet girls.

>I'm wondering if it would work to just sit there, buy a beer and try talking to someone who sits next to me
You might have to be more proactive and go sit next to someone or introduce yourself instead of waiting for someone to sit next to you.

What problems are you facing here?

Also I should mention the pic is what it looked like before it was discolored.

>>18654238
Why didn't you actually call the city tou stupid mother fucker jesus christ.

>>18654240
I tried before (and also about a party where some black people down the street blasted dancehall music until 2am on Tuesday this week) but the lady who answered told me off for specifying that the music was reggae music and said staff would have to visit my apartment and come inside to judge whether the noise was intolerable. I mean, you can hear this shit several streets away.

>>18654240
This, calling the cops for a noise complaint isnt a big deal. I called the cops on my neighbors at least 5 times before they got evicted over similar crap. Cops just come by, talk to them, and leave. They only start writing citations if they're getting multiple calls many times and the fuckers still aren't quieting down.

What are you bedridden for? I'm no doctor but if you can walk a little everyday I'm sure it's good to prevent blood clots.

Honestly you should ask your doctor though, unless you're bedridden so you can be a fatass.

>>18654219
Thank you

Temporary depression

I only want to walk the minimum amount for now but I don't want blood problems.

RN here. You NEED to get up and move. Clots can be a factor, yes. But, depending on age, so is pneumonia. Get your sad ass out of bed and mope around the house...