Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 368. page

The problem is not that you're bad at flirting.

It's much deeper than that.

You are the common denominator in your failed love life.

The reason that they lose interest in you

is because you are an unattractive piece of man-shit

and you ask for dating advice on 4chan

and have AWFUL taste on meme pics.

It's complicated to explain how to flirt because it is a whole landscape of different interaction. You can flirt with compliment or with banter, with making sure someone is comfortable or with making them squirm. The only common element is that you are pointing her attention towards something to do with sexuality, and that you are singling her out. The point of flirting isn't to convince her that you're a sex god or to be supersmooth or whatever. The point of flirting is flirting itself with which you let her feel that you take a sexual interest in her. For the record, what I'm saying next are options and not gospel.

The most basic way of flirting is not hiding your natural signs of attraction. If you are into this girl you will be leaning into her a bit, getting flustered easily, smiling a lot, looking down at her mouth and/or her body, taking in the sight of her instead of just merely acknowledging her with a look, finding excuses to touch her. Don't suppress this. I am not talking about ogling her cleavage at length, but about not trying to compensate "giddy" behavior, letting her see that just looking at her face makes you smile, that you look at her ass when she turns around. If you see her catching you, don't look away or whatever but either just give her a cheeky or caught red handed look.

Secondly, try to interact with her in a playful manner. In everyday interaction people are usually inclined to nip any potential awkwardness in the bud. If someone stands too close to you, you ignore it, if someone bumps into you, you say it's no big deal etc. One of the most common flirting strategies is looking for this friction instead of avoiding it. Tease her by giving a tongue in cheek dickish response when she is fishing for a compliment or reassurance, make her work for it. When she bumps into you, act like you feel a bit assaulted. Make little jokes about your endless charm and wild dating life that invite her to take you down a notch.

>>18653610
The purpose of interacting like this is that it's more playful and exciting than exchanging pleasantries. It introduces you to her not just as a guy who can listen well or talk about a variety of topics, but as someone who can get her riled up, can make her feel things. Never forget that if a girl wants to date you she is not just choosing you like a product in a store, she is falling for how you make her feel when interacting with her, for the dynamic between the two of you.
Besides, sex isn't just sweetness and light either. It also features an element of (play)fighting, of power, of aggression even, and at least of playing games. If you can say something to her that makes her flustered and self-conscious, that's essentially a preview for the loss of control (or vulnerability or otherwise - passion) she could feel with you under different circumstances.

Other ways of flirting include making her compliment, doing little favors, making sexual references - I always, always recommend referring to sex in general terms or related to you (what you like to see in a woman, for example). Not go straight for a sexual reference relating to the two of you. What flirting essentially is, is teasing someone with your interest in them without showing your hand and spelling out just how much or how seriously you like them. If you let her feel right away that you'd love to fuck and/or date her, a huge source of potential tension falls flat. Seducing someone has to do with appealing to their imagination, making them wonder what if.

I hope this gives you an idea. Flirting is a hugely underrated skill, practice it as much as you can. Imo no single quality or ability is as sexy as a man boldly and confidently flirting.

What will you gain AND lose by exposing her?

Think about that and chose. I've seen a lot of unnessicary and disgusting relationship shit and it's kept me from entering one myself.

Sounds like she's just trying to climb the ladder.

That's your call, but don't think for a second that you're going to get a genuine relationship out of this.

If she's going to be an idiot, I think it's fine to allow her to struggle for a bit. I'd tell the dude.

>>18653143

Gains: a good sense of justice, but it depends how I do it.
+ I've been in one for almost 8 years. Probably close to marrying her next year. So I understand the value of trusting your girlfriend.
Cons:
+ Depending on how its done it can be tricky for me.
if I cut her off and tell the guy realistically he'll probably still stay with her. People like the whole ignorance is bliss thing. If he thinks its me and not her this will probably just "Go away" until another me shows up.

i think for her its a race between
how much can he provide for her vs how much can I provide for her.

>>18653165
I have a girlfriend, ideally she'd stay around until I hand her to one of the owners of the company. But realistically, she'll continue to work under me and we'll keep pushing the envelope. I think its not a matter of if it will happen its when.

The trick to stop being anxious

is to take psychiatric drugs daily,

because the world isn't going to become less stressful any time soon.

>>18653055
I just wouldn't unless they ask. Or maybe the first time it causes an issue.

As ashamed as I am of this a girl I was dating once told me and it did turn me off - not hugely so, but still. If she had just said nothing I'd probably have realised myself any way. It wasn't the illness itself that bothered me, I just feel like if you're telling me you're weakness you're not really dealing with it correctly. Because she was very like "but I'm ok now!! I'm on meds and yeah I'm great!!".
Well, if you're great then don't try and validate yourself to me. You don't need to.
Get me?

I told the guy I am seeing on the second date, it was great because I told him how I was taking Zoloft how it was working for me. It's mainly my anxiety that's the worst for me and Zoloft helps that. He actually said how he was thinking himself about going and seeing someone. I think it opens up a healthy dialogue though and times like mine where the other person felt a little more vulnerable and normal. Just my side. I think however you feel is how you should go. I don't tell people I have epilepsy though unless I consistently hang out with them, in case I have a seizure or something, nobody's frea

It all depends on the person you are speaking to, at times. Do not let the previous relationship dictate how you go on with all that follow. Do you feel comfortable enough to tell this new person that you suffer from depression and anxiety? If not, then do not push it. You're opening up on something you're sensitive over.

>>18653042
It's normal. A guy who has pretty obvious objectives like sex won't feel bad about being turned down. When you see someone is emotionally invested at some level then it's much different.

I've had to shut down girls before that I wasn't interested in that I could tell were acting differently over the course of a few weeks. It was harder because I thought they'd have an obvious negative reaction to what I said but it was for the better.

Yes medicine. And breathing techniques. Yoga. Meditation. Sleep enough hours every night. Take vitamins. Eat your veggies. Work out. Drink enough water. Don't do drugs or drink. Sounds fucking dumb and boring and lame and awful but it works. Also avoid caffeine like the plague.

>>18653024
You have two options. I have experience with both.
1. Eat healthy, like really, really fucking healthy and exercise as well. You do this for a while and you will genuinely feel a lot better. Try to slowly conquer your own mind and tell yourself your panic attack is irrational. I can almost guarantee you have a shitty diet and lifestyle because I had panic attacks for 7 years until I got my shit together.

2. Lots and lots of booze. If you are sloshed 24/7 you will never feel any panic attacks anymore. This is the easy way out though, but it is effective as fuck. Be warned though if you do it this way your panic attacks will be much worse when you're sober.

>>18653048
>Eat healthy, like really, really fucking healthy
>Lots and lots of booze

?

What you should do is never go to that grocery store again.

It's too stressful, and it's better to die a virgin.

>>18653015
What do you want to happen?

>>18653015
She was creeping you out... And yet you want more... Never stick your dick in crazy.

>>18652982

you'd need many many partners to pull this off. its possible with that, and its not super unsafe depending on how its done, but its not comfortable. its the kind of thing thats hot in a fantasy but not irl.

bottoming is like scratching a bug bite. feels good at first, but it just becomes raw and painful.

>>18652973

both? its normal to want a threesome. but it also means he wants to bang someone else. thats kind of the point. by making it a threesome it makes it fair since you're both involved.

no its not normal unless you are togather for years and explored everything there is to explore sexually

but thats what you get for running after chads, no love and being used, enjoy

Me his gf
Him wanting to have 3sum with ppl in our friend group.

I have told him many times i feel uncomfortable and I don't want any.

Still brings it always up.

I don't know what to do ＿|￣|○

I just the first two sentences and she is already better than 70% of the girls ik

>>18653228
But ye she's definitely a keeper

>>18652947
>6 fingers on one hand
>perfect girl otherwise
>what do

A-are you Henry VIII, anon? Are you dating Anne Boleyn rn?

Fucking ask your doctor.

None of those are metabolized through the liver. You're fine. 600mg of ibuprofen is a little high for a single dose but unless you have prior kidney issues you're fine

t. pharmacist

Daily use of ibuprofen gave me really bad tinnitus but other than that I think you're fine. Also I think I read somewhere that using Zyrtec every day can mess with your adrenal glands. If you're just talking about everything you took today you should be fine. You can take up to 800mg of ibuprofen. Alsoy also if you Google drug interaction checker you can type in all the medication you've taken.

>How to get over an ex?

Give it some years and it will become tolerable.

In the meantime, you can overcompensate by being promiscuous

and by shutting out all memories of her out of your mind.

Calling her names also helps,

but what helps the most is to develop a grudge against women,

because if you never get attached to them then they can't hurt you again.

>>18652917
Why did you break up?

>>18652914
Is all your mother wants from you is to do some chores?

>>18652960
I think threatening to kick your son out of the house goes a bit past "do some chores"

>>18652964
No it doesn't, she's threatening to kick you out if you don't do some chores. Which means that yes, all she wants is for you to do some chores.

>>18652913
Maybe some details?

NYPA. It's not our fault your girlfriend didn't do anything about it when she was 'sexually assaulted'

>>18652937
What kind of details?
she said no penetration and he got her drunk and held her down, then did it.

The trick to dumping a girl you like

Is to tell her you and her are through

If you want to be heartless

At least have the courage to be frontal

You fucking diseased-dick twat

if you're going to break up with someone, ONLY to go fuck around with people, you're going to break her heart and make her feel like shit anyway, so you might as well give her the news as it is.
like, you're already ruining this girls mind, heart, and soul, just flat out tell her, then leave her alone.

>>18653583
>like, you're already ruining this girls mind, heart, and soul

Don't be melodramatic.