Archived threads in /adv/ - Advice - 367. page

How big is your dick? I don't want to inflate your ego, but the bigger the dick the less likely it is to go "up" like you say, It'll just get harder.

>>18653315
It's not erect? Does blood fully circulate through it? Have you tried Cialis or Viagra?

>>18653322
Viagra at this age. Shit advise

Are you depressed? My dick was weird when I was depressed

>>18653305
Doing this for a year and you're just now searching for advice? Hope your kids aren't as retarded as you are

>>18653305
pill is as effective as a condom u dumb nigger
source: cumming inside a girl for years and still not a father

>>18653430
can confirm, i haven't pulled out in at least 6 years. maybe we're just sterile kek

Get a prepaid credit card.

>>18653295
Do they need identification?

>>18653302
No idea, it depends on where you are and which ones you get. But prepaid cards let you enter any name for the cardholder when buying online, so they're safe from porn leaks.

>>18653282
There are much better ways to get high my friend. Xanax a shit.

Huh? You can buy xanax from online? Like you go to drug amazon or something?

>>18653596
nice try officer

>>18653281
How old are you?

>>18653290
27

>>18653299
Why didn't you keep in contact with her while abroad?

>>18653254
Professor writing here.

I can't speak to your specific college, so you'll have to ask them. But here are some general points.

Believe it or not, a college really wants you to do well. Not only is that their purpose for being, but thinking purely practically, a successful grad reflects well on them and helps their funding.

So their working assumption is to try to get you through a bad patch.

Here is where your college's specific practices have to be identified. Worst case scenario is likely to be expulsion with the option of reinstatement if you spend a semester at a CC successfully. (which might not be a bad idea anyway).

Less worse options might include erasing the first year and starting over, and moving forward under probation (one more F and you're out).

Meanwhile, this is a good opportunity for you to think about why you want to go to college and whether it's right for you. There are other perfectly respectable roads to honorable and well-paying careers.

>>18653320
Big issues with this are that i have no clue if this is even the right path and anyone i ask there is obviously biased, and the rest of my field is from an age when this wasn't even something people went to college for.

Will look into the start over but i have my doubts, it's hard to find this info because literally everyone i talk to points me to yet another person who says they don't know but the other person will, it's just one huge circle

>>18653382
Walk into the dean's office. Ask to speak to someone then and there.

>>18653249
If somebody only talked to their landlord and tried to solve the problem before it become this bad. Talk to him dummy!

Stupid frog poster.
https://www.mcdonalds.com/us/en-us/careers.html

If you stay longer, the landlord may be able to take you to small claims and get rent for the extra time from you.

>>18653249
Never been evicted myself but my gf has. Her landlord sent a relative by to make sure it was all clear the day of. She was given an extra day to move her stuff but generally once you recieve the notice it's because you have broken the contract by being delinquent. I doubt you'll be able to buy back in and as a landlord s/he might not want to give more chances

Dude, like all the stuff you say is fine and all, but dont give us this bullshit that you have noone to show you how to live. you know how to do it.

1. start fixing sleep schedule
go to bed at 11 and wake up at 7

2. fix your diet

start eating healthy stuff with your unhealthy stuff so that even though you eat too much, some of it is nutricious. just slowly start replacing your unhealthy food with healthy food. (research what is healthy food, the internet is great)

3. STOP PLAYING GAMES
slowly start replacing your gaming with other stuff. just start with 30 mins a day of trying something new, like coding or reading or drawing or whatever (find out what you like to do) then slowly start increasing it and decreasing your gaming time. (you will notice that it will become less hard to do the longer you keep at it.

4. start excercising
i know its pretty hard to just do excercise randomly, youve gotta find something you like, because forcing yourself to go from NEET to someone who runs 4 miles a day is just setting yourself up for failure. look what sportsclubs are in your town, maybe even start going to the pool in your town every morning and swim for half an hour. start adjusting to the feel of physical excercise.

5. Get a job!

start with something fast food, for like 20 hours a week, dont try to get them to like you, dont try to like the work dont be all emotional. just go for the money like a robot. its not a fun place but its not that bad either. ive worked in teh mcdonalds kitchens before, its not that bad and you almost never have to interact with a lot of customers.

6. Get an education!

There are a couple of choices
first of all, if you already know what kind of jo you would like to do, itd be good to find courses specific to what youd like to do. save up money from your mcdonalds (or whatever) job and spend it on courses. maybe you could also attend some evening school or something in your country if you lack a highschool education.

Godspeed Anon

>>18653248
https://www.mcdonalds.com/us/en-us/careers.html

>>18653248

Also anon, life is unfair.
you might have had a bad start in life, but nobody is ever going to give a shit. they might feel bad for you for 5 minutes but they will never give up any of their own comfort for you.
face that youll be alone. also because your family is poor and on welfare theyre not ambitious, so dont expect them to support you in your new venture. they might even discourage you or manipulate you, because its never fun to see someone beat you so bad in life as youre going to do. know that your family is nothing, they might be a cause of why you are the way you are, but its your own responsability to fix yourself. get your own place if you dont already have one. build a new life for yourself or youll end up hanging yourself when youre 35 and fucked beyone belief, if you dont fix yourself you will live a life full of anxiety, stress and depression. you owe it to yourself to prevent that from happening.

File: pick your drug.png (71KB, 532x532px) Image search: [Google]

71KB, 532x532px

>>18653247
Daily reminder that only super stupid teenagers and people with broken lives are trying to escape to high land.

Why dont you find something less harmful and less addictive to do at your free time? Sport? Gf? Csgo? Ice cream?

pop more obv

>>18653262
I'm not op but this sort of advice don't work .
I'm kinda depressed since 14yo , currently 19 yo , I used to be a fat as fatass now i'm fit , run half marathon & shit , do multiples hours of sports a week , know how to cook well , had sex multiples times , still feel as dead inside , every action I do to "better" myself just feels like void filling , I can no longer have real fun in a video game , can't really have fun watching series / movies .

>>18653239
>implying frogposter can even finish highschool
https://www.mcdonalds.com/us/en-us/careers.html

>>18653239
There are other people working on making us imortal, no use joining them.

I'm suicidal and I just decided to do whatever the fuck I want. Feels better than the alternative desu.

>>18653239
There are other ways to be immortal. Create art or music. Teach. Do good works. Donate to charity. Make friends who will remember you. Have children

My first bit of advice would be to stop stressing it. Stop looking for it and just move to advance yourself in life/get yourself to your life goals. You actually will find someone eventually, but this will be more to the point of them finding you. If you dwell on finding someone, it tends to send off a bit of an odd vibe. It gets a bit creepy. As for the entire bit of you being nice only to get dates, people do that all the time whether they wish to admit to it or not.

Being nice is not a bad thing. But by itself it doesn't translate into anything attractive. You need to have qualities girls find attractive. Being fun, confident, exciting. That will make girls interested in you, after that being nice is a good bonus on top.

>>18653195
Real but overblown t b h.
Also has become something of an excuse for being an asshole: If anyone complains, they were secretly an asshole first!

That said, being nice (really, agreeable) is something that can get your friends, but might also come over as a flaw in a significant other - someone who is too nice is going to get taken advantage of.

>>18653189
You break it off because you're not a pussy trying to pretend you're still in a relationship

>>18653193

But that's stupid. I still want to go back to her when I go back. And breaking up with her would just hurt her feelings. And she doesn't really have many other prospects but with me she can still do fun stuff like go on trips together.

>>18653189
>And she doesn't really have many other prospects
Then I doubt you are much of a winner yourself and you won't get laid unless you pay for it

LOL FAGGOTS TELL ME WHAT TO DO REEEEEEEEEEWWEWWWWEWWWWWWWWW

>>18653184
I feel similar to you op. Weed and sleeping and sometimes eating are the only things I enjoy. YouTube and videos and light reading help as a distraction for a little bit.

But I still spend a significant portion of my day thinking about how I look and how others perceive me and the extreme shame of how ive lived my life. I'm not a bad person, I've been a dick a couple of times a year but I've never done anything evil or cruel to anyone else. It's hard to describe but it feels like everyone else hates me to.

It might be hard to believe, but we both probably have a reason to live. I'm not killing myself because I don't want to upset family and a small group of friends that do have some degree of affection for me.

The only way I see out of it is maximising self improvement and indulging in a lot of escapist pursuits as I've done my whole life. I definitely wasn't made for this world, but I have to accept the hand I've been dealt.

>>18653205
I bet my family is already really upset when listening to my autistic frustrated daily chimp outs. They'll probably pretend to be sad at first and later rejoice. I have like 1500 euros, what do I buy to make life bearable? Should I start smoking weed all day every day and forget about bettering myself since it's been proven useless?

>>18653179
Hypothetically speaking if you're in love, then by all means go after her (you didn't strike me as the type who'd stoop to pornstar standards). However you'll have to consider your current girlfriend's feelings, as I'm sure she'd be dissappointed

That's not love. That's just what your mind describes as "beautiful" and triggers your penis. Love is trust and a strong bond between couples. Loving someone by the their appearance is like loving your ego.

>>18653179
Donating money? Is she on MyFreeCams or something? They usually have prices of what they would do for exchange. Or ask her in chat. $1 wont get you anything but maybe a "tee hee, thx."

Pretend everybody is naked.

Or wait... is that for speeches?

I don't know. Practice?

>>18653131
Don't open your mouth, it makes it look really fake if it's not honest. Otherwise you should be passable, then.